Tested Positive March 1 2010

[jackfrost]

I found out on March 1st I am HIV positive. I've cried, I've laughed, I've tried not to think about it (trying not to think about it not going so well). It's constantly on mind. Thankfully I have an amazing friend I am able to trust and told her as soon as I left the appointment, finding out I was positive. The first thing she said was, where do WE go from here. She has type 1 diabetes, so she knows what it is like to live with a chronic disease.

I am pretty sure my seroconversion (that's a new term I learned today from reading several posts earlier lol) was this past November 2009. I had been with an HIV positive guy in early October and in November was very sick. At first, I thought I had the regular flu, but the symptoms were all over the place. Then I was convinced I had H1n1 because I had a constant fever, sever fatigue, lost 20 pounds in under 3 weeks. I went to the medi-center by my house - he looked at me and said you look like you are getting better, don't worry about it. I said, I look like I am getting better??, this is my first time being here! He looked at my throat and told me to go home, didn't ask me any questions about my history or even take my temperature. In December I found out the guy I had been with was HIV positive and that's when I put two and two together.

So in February I finally told my friend about what had happened and she came with me to the STD center to go get tested. I went back a week later to get my results and they had all my results except for the HIV one. They said they had been "misplaced" and to come back Friday or Monday for them. I knew something was up, I figured they were doing the second test to confirm the results - unfortunately I was correct. I didn't work till 5:30 pm on Monday so I went to go get my results. She told me I was HIV positive. She gave me a whole bunch of information, most of it I didn't hear - thankfully she had pamphlets lol. I told her I had to go to work now, she was shocked I was going to work. I work in a call center for a pizza company, in the complaints department. My first call was a woman screaming at me because the store wouldn't dice the ham, so her 3 year old could eat it. I just wanted to yell at her "you are freaking about your ham not being diced?? I just found out I have a disease that can't be cured you stupid b**ch. I didn't  of course, because I need to keep my job haha.

Somehow I made it to the end of my shift which was not till 2 am - it was the longest 8.5 hours of my life. Went home, obviously could not sleep. Immediately started looking up information on the internet. Some of it helped, some it freaked the hell out of me. This news couldn't of come at a worse time. I am behind on my bills, collections calling daily - thinking I might have to claim bankruptcy. Have been suffering from depression for quite sometime and my bridge in my mouth is lose and feels like it is going to fall out - but I have no money to get it fixed. I have never been so stressed out in my life. Have been sleeping 10 - 12 hours a day.

On March 10th, I went back to the doctors to get a whole bunch of blood taken out. Forgot to eat breakfast - big mistake. Not a good idea to have 11 viles of blood taken without eating anything. Didn't faint - but came close lol. My first appointment with the infectious disease doctor was supposed to me March 26th, but it got cancelled and pushed back to March 31th, which sucks. I just want to get it over with. I am nervous about the results. I have a history of getting sick a lot , getting flus and colds a lot, between May 2009 to August 2009 I had 4 throat infections and an ear infection.

Whoa, I have written a novel lol, but feels good to get this off my chest.

Thanks for listening.

[Matty the Damned]

Hey Jack,

Welcome to the Forums. Bummer about the HIV thing.

I won't burden you with a whole lot of platitudes at this stage (there will be others along to do that shortly) rather I'll point you in the direction of our Lessons section which will give you some good solid info whilst you wait to see your ID specialist.



MtD

[phildinftlaudy]

Hi Jack:
Welcome to the Forums-
I had never been big on having blood taken - so your thread brought back memories of my first lab draw --- 16 viles!!  I was good until about the 8th, then told the nurse, "look, you're losing me..."   She said, "hang in there..." by the 12th I was saying...."I don't think you heard me, you are really losing me." -- She finally noticed my grey shade of color and called another nurse in to be on standby with the smelling salts and to make sure I didn't fall completely over.  After the 16th vile she said "well, I guess we need a gurney for you each time you come in."   --- But, it actually has gotten better -- typically I only get 6-8 viles drawn every three months now -- and have had 4 IVs inserted for a variety of things since testing poz -- I guess somethings really do make us stronger --
Once again, welcome and thanks for sharing your experience.

[john33]

Hi Jack,
Sorry about your diagnosis, but welcome to the forums.

John

[Jeff G]

HI Jack . welcome to the forums . Jeff

[max123]

hi jack,

well, it sounds like you may be traveling down the street we have all crossed. i admire your stealth in going to work after learning of your result...i did the same.

has your status been confirmed by western blot, or were you simply elisa reactive when you got your 3/1 result? this is a key factor, so is something that you should definitely find out about if you don't already know the answer to.

meanwhile, hang in there. either way, things are gonna be ok. as mtd said, read through the lessons section...there's some great info there to get you started on educating yourself about the disease. careful what you read elsewhere on the net...some of the posted info is outdated and, or untrue.

best of luck with your results & keep us posted.

ps: i had to smile about your and phil's blood draw stories...i too was there lol

max

[john33]

I have to second what Max said.
It's going to be OK!!

Ahh the joys of blood draws I remember asking the nurse to leave some inside my body as i still have need of it lol

[Rev. Moon]

Hello and welcome Jack Frost.  Sorry about the poz thing, but glad that you found us. Your pizza customer story brought a smile to my face. So many people dwell on petty BS, never imagining what the person at the other end may be going through.

Sounds to me like you are actually dealing fairly well with your diagnosis. Continue educating yourself about this virus, but don't overload yourself with info (some people do that at the beginning, and all that it brings is unnecessary anxiety due to all the either overwhelming or hokey info that can be found on the Internet).  You'll see how things are going to be just fine.

Stick around. We are two tons o'fun and support.

Wishing ya the best of luck and health,

Da Moon guy.

[kev72]

Hi Jack,

Welcome! You will find a terrific group of people here that are informative, compassionate, and friendly. They have made life much easier to handle for me since my recent diagnosis.

You may want to try and stop reading all the stuff on the internet and stick to one site for information. I drove myself crazy both before testing poz, and after getting my diagnosis when I was reading some of the crap out there.

If you read the posts here both old and new and ask questions, I am sure you will start to feel better.

Good luck and hang in there,

Kev

[Dale Parker]

Hey Jack: I can relate to the fact that all you do is think about HIV. I was like that the first few months after I tested positive. As time goes by you will think of it less and less. Being new at having HIV you will have a ton of questions. If I can give you one piece of advise it is to write down every question and take them to the doctors with you. Go thru each question with your doctor and make sure that you write down the answer as soon as the doctor gives it to you. You would be amazed at how may times I thought that I heard what the doctor said and as soon as I left his office everything got jumbled up in my brain.
   Check out the bankruptcy thing as soon as you can. I had to do it. I left it too late and one trustee told me that I was too poor to go bankrupt. In Ontario Canada it costs $1500.00 to go bankrupt. I finally got financial help with it but it still cost me $450.00.
Best of luck and health to you
Dale

[jackfrost]

Thanks everyone for the support. My first appointment with the ID doctor is this Wednesday. I will post my results. I have been reading through the different posts / forums. It's comforting to know there is a lot of support.

Thanks again.

 

[BrotherDavid]

Hello Jackfrost,

Like the other poster's mentioned above, in time HIV will not consume you're world. Take the time to educate yourself and ask questions from both you're doctor and others who have went through the same. We have all been there. Good Luck,

David