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Author Topic: please tell me if this is an HIV concern?  (Read 66626 times)

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Offline reallyextremlyworried

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please tell me if this is an HIV concern?
« on: June 12, 2006, 11:45:28 am »
Hello Everyone,

Ok so I am back for all the wrong reasons.  I had an enormous fear of being HIV positive; thank God with the help of aidsmeds and myself, I have calmed myself down over the last year and have gotten on with my life.  I am sure the dozens of experts here remember me due to my outrageous number of incidences that had nothing to do with HIV.  I feel like I have let go of my fear over the last year also partly because I moved back to
Canada.  For some reason I have some sense of security when I’m there.  My father had a stroke in Congo last month and I had to rush back here to be by his side.  It was a no brain-er of course.  I just did not want to regret anything being in Canada.  Ok now on to the wrong reason I am back…….This last Friday night I went out and got completely drunk (I know alcohol is a recipe for disaster) and I was feeling horny so I decided to pick up a local sex worker here in Lubumbashi, Congo with the only intention of getting a blowjob and nothing more.  I brought the sex worker to a friends place and she proceeded to give me a blowjob (unprotected).  This blowjob turned into different positions for oral sex with deep thrusts into her mouth and throat, almost like a gagging effect on her.  During these deep thrusts into her mouth and throat, I felt her teeth on my penis and also at the same time I was fingering her vagina.  IMMEDIATELY after fingering her vagina, I used the same fingers IMMEDIATELY to grab my penis and I proceeded to slap my penis on her face.  Please excuse me for the graphic details.  After this she continued giving me a blowjob in many different oral sex positions until I climaxed.  After I climaxed I kissed her on her lips with my lips.  At the time I had two cuts on my lips, which bled before going out that night.  The reason there were these cuts on my lips was because I have severely chapped lips, which tore was profusely bleeding before going out that night.  I do not know if my lips were bleeding at the time I was with the sex worker (again thanks to the alcohol) but I do remember the kiss with the sex worker; it was not French kiss, it was more like a soft sensuous kiss on her lips; no tongue involved.  And I also kissed her body, breasts, stomach, butt, etc. I do not really know if my lips had open cuts on them when I was lightly kissing the sex worker, but even if it was would this put me at risk for HIV?

Ok that is what happened in full.

I am worried that I may have contracted HIV through:
a) the unprotected oral sex with the violent thrusts into the sex workers mouth and throat
b) the fingering and the transfer of vaginal fluid from my fingers which were in the sex workers vagina, and then immediately after I grabbed my penis with the same fingers to slap my penis on her face.  So I may have transferred vaginal fluid onto my penis and into the little cuts and openings on the penis.
c) the light kissing that I did with the sex worker and the possibility for my lips to have had open cuts while i kissed her sensuosly on her lips?  I think the only I would be able to contract HIV by this is if she was bleeding on her lips which I don't think that happened because both of us and anyone could and would be able to notice and feel that-----> am i correct to think that?

And one more thing that is really worrying me is the fact that 2 days after this, I have a huge cold sore on my lips that looks absolutely nasty.  I do not know what to make of it.

I am really worried and would like to know if anyone in this forum thinks I should test for HIV in 3 months?  Was I at risk?  I am pretty sure that this is a concern for HIV but if it’s not and I hope to God it isn’t, please can anyone explain to me why it isn’t if that is the case.

Any comments, suggestions, expertise, and general help would be much appreciated.  To Jackieblue, Ann, Andy, Hivworker, Rapidrod just to mention a few..........I apologize for being back, and I honestly feel i have done very well for almost a year so please your advice for me is important.

Thank you very much.

Offline jkinatl2

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Re: I think I am back for the wrong reason
« Reply #1 on: June 12, 2006, 11:53:40 am »
Absolutely nothing you listed is a vector for HIV transmission. You would know this had you read our new LESSONS section on transmission. However, as you admit to an extreme fear of HIV, perhaps the rational part of your brain can't quite get it.

I submit that this site and others like it do you no good whatsoever. Here's a quick and dirty HIv ed for ya

You can (but do not always) get HIV from unprotected penetrative anal and/or vaginal sex with an HIV infected person.

That's all you need to worry about. And if you use a condom, you cab have all the sex with all the HIv infected people you want, and you will not get infected.

It really is that simple.

"Many people, especially in the gay community, turn to oral sex as a safer alternative in the age of AIDS. And with HIV rates rising, people need to remember that oral sex is safer sex. It's a reasonable alternative."

-Kimberly Page-Shafer, PhD, MPH

Welcome Thread

Offline reallyextremlyworried

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Re: I think I am back for the wrong reason
« Reply #2 on: June 13, 2006, 03:28:48 am »
Thanks Jkin....I really appreciate your time.  Does everyone else agree with Jkin on my incident being nothing to do with HIV?  Do I need to test specifically for the incident above?

Thanks everyone, and thanks again Jkin

Offline RapidRod

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Re: I think I am back for the wrong reason
« Reply #3 on: June 13, 2006, 04:50:10 am »
Apparently reallyextremlyworried you didn't read what JK's reply was to you. Reread his reply.. There is no reason to test. PERIOD.

Offline Morgan

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Re: I think I am back for the wrong reason
« Reply #4 on: June 13, 2006, 05:00:12 am »
ReallyExtremelyWorried,

JK is probably the most knowledgeable expert in the science of hiv transmission this site has to offer.  You can take his advice to the bank.

Morgan
Morgan Landers

Offline reallyextremlyworried

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Re: I think I am back for the wrong reason
« Reply #5 on: June 13, 2006, 05:43:01 am »
Thanks everyone for your comments:  I guess I will move on and I guess everyone is 100% sure there is no need to test for HIV following the detail description I gave of this incident?
sorry for asking the same question twice, I just need a final stamp of no testing by everyone.

thanks a million everyone

Offline Ann

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Re: I think I am back for the wrong reason
« Reply #6 on: June 13, 2006, 06:30:33 am »
really,

You really don't need to test after this specific incident. You did not have a risk of hiv infection.

Ann
Condoms are a girl's best friend

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"...health will finally be seen not as a blessing to be wished for, but as a human right to be fought for." Kofi Annan

Nymphomaniac: a woman as obsessed with sex as an average man. Mignon McLaughlin

HIV is certainly character-building. It's made me see all of the shallow things we cling to, like ego and vanity. Of course, I'd rather have a few more T-cells and a little less character. Randy Shilts

Offline reallyextremlyworried

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Re: I think I am back for the wrong reason
« Reply #7 on: July 18, 2006, 07:19:54 am »
Everyone ....I have been reliving the incident and it's been consuming me.  I am petrified i guess because i had cuts on my lips and i kissed the sex worker on her lips.  I don't remember if she had cuts if any on her lips. 
Also I remember something extremely important that i did not mention in my original post.........when i woke up in the morning beside the sex worker i noticed she had marks (i think black dots not 100% sure)  on her palm of her hand.  I don't exactly remember how big and if it was bleeding but i do remember seeing dark spots on her palm and it seemed like a series of cuts.  I didn't think too much of it in the morning because these cuts on her palm was on her left hand and i remembered her stroking my penis with her right, so i didn't think too much of these peculiar markings on her left palm.  But as i have been rethinking and reliving the incident, I now remember (because I was drunk, so i am trying to put the pieces back of what happened) that she held my penis with her left hand (palm) and also she was stroking my penis with her left hand palm and she held my penis with her left palm until i climaxed on her left palm.  I feel so stupid to not ask her about it in the morning or to even examine her left palm to find out exactly what were these spots, dots, and markings.  It could have been healed cuts, it could have been fresh cuts....i don't know but i do remember when i noticed these odd marks they seemed black in color.
Everyone i am so worried that maybe these markings on her left palm were cuts with blood, or healed cuts with some scabs pulled off to reveal some fresh blood.  And while stroking my penis (we also did a 69 position so i don't know which palm of her hand she used to hold my penis) i am worried her blood from these odd markings on her left palm may have found an entry way through minor cuts on my penis and the opening of my penis (urethra). 
What do you guys/girls think?  Will i be the first guy on the planed to get HIV from kissing and from a handjob and climaxing on her hand?????  I am so worried everyone, am I justified to be?
Please tell me what you think and if i should test for HIV due to this new information?
Thanks for reading and listening everyone, I really appreciate it....Thank you.


Offline Andy Velez

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Re: I think I am back for the wrong reason
« Reply #8 on: July 18, 2006, 07:35:55 am »
I wonder if you're really in listening mode. I'll just say it anyway. Even with the latest bit you've added about unidentified dark spots on the sex worker's hands, you had absolutely no risk for HIV transmission in the incident you are concerned about.

None. Zero. Zilch. Nada.

There is no need for testing. The only reason for testing is if you find you cannot let go of this concern and you require the inevitable negative result to close down your concern.

You do need to know there are other STDs out there. So in general it's a good idea if you're sexually active to get a full STD panel done regularly -- at least annually and every six months is even better.

As far as HIV is concerned there is no problem here at this point.

Cheers,
Andy Velez

Offline reallyextremlyworried

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Re: I think I am back for the wrong reason
« Reply #9 on: July 18, 2006, 07:45:57 am »
Thanks Andy for the quick reply.  I am just trying to figure out why this would not have been a risk?  If the marks on her hand were scabs and some blood from it, then would this not a possess a risk of getting HIV as she is holding my penis with that left palm??

Offline Andy Velez

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Re: I think I am back for the wrong reason
« Reply #10 on: July 18, 2006, 07:52:26 am »
You don't have to figure it out. You aren't going to figure it out. When you get into that headset all it does is feed totally unwarranted fears.

There's never been a documented case in the manner you describe and you aren't going to make history by becoming the first.

To me the real issue might be what your feelings and thoughts are about this experience that cause you to continue to focus on a concern which has absolutely no basis in HIV-science.
Andy Velez

Offline reallyextremlyworried

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Re: I think I am back for the wrong reason
« Reply #11 on: July 18, 2006, 08:24:21 am »
Thanks Andy.........I don't think I am ashamed of what happened that night.  I am just trying to figure out if i had a risk that night of acquiring HIV with all the information I remember.  Are you sure Andy that I do not need to test? What do you think those black dots or spots were on her hand?


Offline Andy Velez

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Re: I think I am back for the wrong reason
« Reply #12 on: July 18, 2006, 08:35:17 am »
I don't think anything about the black dots on her hand. And you will likely never know. It's irrelevant. HIV is not passed by black dots.

You were not at risk. Period.

Get productively busy in your life and let this go. You don't have any cause for concern. I don't know anything else to tell you about this.
Andy Velez

Offline reallyextremlyworried

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Re: I think I am back for the wrong reason
« Reply #13 on: August 06, 2006, 06:59:13 am »
Everyone I need help, don't know where to go or to whom to talk to except aidsmeds.  I had this incident on June 9 06 and I have managed to let it go when reading all your responses that it was absolutely no risk.  So guess what i did everyone.....  I basically had a round two with another sex worker.  Same scenario but different things happened.  Insertive oral sex in the evening and morning for about 1 hour each time.  It was rough penile oral sex, oral anal (me being the receptive in the oral anal) and digital anal.  For the digital anal i was the receptive partner also.  To get to the point.....after ejaculation i looked at my penis and the head had a red burn line.  It was very very noticeable because my penis is one color and then a bright bright big red line on the head of my penis made it stand out.  And it's pretty big.   
I am thinking that this was made by the sex workers teeth because it was rough oral and i had hit her teeth a couple of times and also one of those times was quite hard.  Does this sound plausible?  That her teeth made this huge bright red mark line on  the head of my penis.  Looks like an abrasion skin chaffed (peeled off) off.  And I do remember inserting my penis roughly in her mouth and had made her gag.....this happened early on and during (my penis hitting her teeth).  I am wondering with a open cut or abrasion like that on my penis, and having rough long blow jobs in the late evening and morning......would this allow for HIV transmission to occur?

Also secondly the digital anal I didn't think it was a problem........until I dropped the sex worker home and noticed her fingers were all chewed and bitten up.   And some of her fingers had skin protruding outwards.....that is when I freaked out and remember that she put her finger ( i don't know which one) in my anus.  Can HIV be transmitted this way?  also the oral-anal can HIV be transmitted in that way?  I have been under the impression that oral-anal is the same thing (no risk) as insertive oral?  am i right?

What do you guys think?  I am crazy to put myself in that position.  Was at i risk of acquiring HIV?  I need to test right?  I do know everyone should test at least once a year.  Should I take an HIV test because of this incident, that  is what i want to know?

thanks everyone and thank God for aidsmeds.

Offline reallyextremlyworried

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Re: I think I am back for the wrong reason
« Reply #14 on: August 06, 2006, 07:15:49 am »
Wouldn't a big chunk of skin skimmed off the penis head, give a huge entry way for the HIV virus to get in??  Wouldn't this make it more likely to get infected? 

reading the lessons section and digital anal, insertive oral, and oral anal.......i am getting quite petrified here.

on insertive oral in the lessons section it say   "There are also people who test positive for HIV and claim that unprotected fellatio was their only risky behavior"

also it say  "Because unprotected fellatio can mean that body fluids from one person can (and do) come into contact with the mucosal tissues or open cuts, sores, or breaks in the skin of another person, there is a "theoretical risk" of HIV transmission. "Theoretical risk" means that passing an infection from one person to another is considered possible, even though there haven't been any (or only a few) documented cases".

this stuff is really freaking me out.  I feel like my incident was not a routine blowjob because of what i saw after.  And also the digital anal was not routine because of what i saw after.  Everyone seriously is there a risk for getting HIV through all my incidences?

Offline jkinatl2

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Re: I think I am back for the wrong reason
« Reply #15 on: August 06, 2006, 07:31:19 am »
From the same lessons section you quoted:

Quote
Even more importantly, there hasn't been a single documented case of HIV transmission to an insertive partner (the person being "sucked") during unprotected oral sex, either among MSM or heterosexuals.

I sincerely doubt that you are going to make medical history and rewrite the transmission vector for HIV infection.

Feel free to freak out over these events if you want. You are not going to test HIV positive over them.

« Last Edit: August 06, 2006, 07:34:00 am by jkinatl2 »
"Many people, especially in the gay community, turn to oral sex as a safer alternative in the age of AIDS. And with HIV rates rising, people need to remember that oral sex is safer sex. It's a reasonable alternative."

-Kimberly Page-Shafer, PhD, MPH

Welcome Thread

Offline reallyextremlyworried

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Re: I think I am back for the wrong reason
« Reply #16 on: August 06, 2006, 07:34:15 am »
thanks Jkin.....but what about the digital anal?  I am just realizing now that this is probably what would give me HIV from all the incidenes i have posted.  She magled and chewed up fingers from what i noticed this morning and those fingers were in my anus.........please give me your take on that.

thanks Jkin again.

Offline reallyextremlyworried

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Re: I think I am back for the wrong reason
« Reply #17 on: August 06, 2006, 07:35:13 am »
she had mangled and chewed up fingers.

Offline jkinatl2

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Re: I think I am back for the wrong reason
« Reply #18 on: August 06, 2006, 07:36:42 am »
Like I said, if you honestly think that you are going to rewrite twenty five years' of HIV transmission vector science with your (not unusual) situation, then I sincerely doubt that anyone here can convince you otherwise.

It's totally your call.

"Many people, especially in the gay community, turn to oral sex as a safer alternative in the age of AIDS. And with HIV rates rising, people need to remember that oral sex is safer sex. It's a reasonable alternative."

-Kimberly Page-Shafer, PhD, MPH

Welcome Thread

Offline reallyextremlyworried

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Re: I think I am back for the wrong reason
« Reply #19 on: August 06, 2006, 07:43:18 am »
thanks Jkin.  There is absolutely no chance of acquiring the HIV virus from everything that has happened.....right?

I should let this go?  It's not that I want to rewrite the transmission vectors of HIV, I just want to 100% know that there is absolutely zero chance of getting HIV from my details in my posts.

it's scary and no one to talk too about it except here.

Offline jkinatl2

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Re: I think I am back for the wrong reason
« Reply #20 on: August 06, 2006, 07:59:58 am »
100%? Absolutely zero? Such a thing does not exist. Not even in mathematics, if you factor in quantum physics and alternatives to Einstein.

Think of it this way. There ARE documented cases of people being struck by falling meteorites. There are NOT documented cases of people getting HIV from insertive oral or fingering/being fingered.

Whether you choose to live underground from this point forward is up to you.

"Many people, especially in the gay community, turn to oral sex as a safer alternative in the age of AIDS. And with HIV rates rising, people need to remember that oral sex is safer sex. It's a reasonable alternative."

-Kimberly Page-Shafer, PhD, MPH

Welcome Thread

Offline reallyextremlyworried

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Re: I think I am back for the wrong reason
« Reply #21 on: August 06, 2006, 08:39:35 am »
thanks Jkin.  So even if she had cuts on her fingers and she fingered my anus......it's still not problem and does not transmitt HIV?  I am just trying my best to get it right.

Offline jkinatl2

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Re: I think I am back for the wrong reason
« Reply #22 on: August 06, 2006, 08:48:49 am »
I have no other way to keep telling you this is not an HIV situation. But I sincerely hope you can come to terms with the event in question.

"Many people, especially in the gay community, turn to oral sex as a safer alternative in the age of AIDS. And with HIV rates rising, people need to remember that oral sex is safer sex. It's a reasonable alternative."

-Kimberly Page-Shafer, PhD, MPH

Welcome Thread

Offline reallyextremlyworried

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Re: I think I am back for the wrong reason
« Reply #23 on: August 06, 2006, 12:06:32 pm »
I have read many posts on fingering and I have not found an answer to this question:

Is it possible that a HIV positive person who has an open cut or fresh abrasion on her finger, can transfer the HIV virus to another person while fingering (with the same fresh cut finger) their anus and coming into contact with blood in the anus?

That is my last question on this.  Some more responses from other members and guests would be much appreciated.  And if anyone can let me know what would make this scenario plausible for HIV transmission?

thank you

Offline reallyextremlyworried

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Re: I think I am back for the wrong reason
« Reply #24 on: August 06, 2006, 12:29:19 pm »
I found this quote on www.avert.org

http://www.avert.org/faq1.htm#q7

Does 'fingering' during sex carry a risk of HIV transmission?

"Inserting a finger into someone's anus or vagina would only be an HIV risk if the finger had any cuts or sores on it and if there was any direct contact with any HIV infected blood, vaginal fluids or semen from the other person."

So what this is saying is you can get HIV from fingering if the person fingering has a cut.  This is exactly my situation just a bit opposite, whereby the person with the cut finger can pass on HIV to person who is receiving the anal fingering.  I am really petrified.  Does this make sense?

Offline RapidRod

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Re: I think I am back for the wrong reason
« Reply #25 on: August 06, 2006, 02:12:44 pm »
It has never ever happened and you won't be the first.

Offline reallyextremlyworried

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Re: I think I am back for the wrong reason
« Reply #26 on: August 07, 2006, 03:11:01 am »
Thanks Rapid.  I hope your right.  I just wanted to know something else.  While getting a blowjob, if the person cuts or severly ruptures your penis head by their teeth...........and continues giving you a blowjob for a long time in evening and then again in the morning for a long time...........would this not allow for HIV infection to occur (because of the opening created by the teeth and it is a fresh cut) assuming the person giving the blowjob is HIV positive?

 

Offline RapidRod

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Re: I think I am back for the wrong reason
« Reply #27 on: August 07, 2006, 04:23:06 am »
Now you know if that happens you would have been to your local emergency room getting stiches. That is the only possible way if any, that you could be exposed to HIV by a bite.

Offline reallyextremlyworried

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Re: I think I am back for the wrong reason
« Reply #28 on: August 07, 2006, 04:34:15 am »
Thanks Rapid.  So if it was a bite..(penis head was ruptured in one area was really extremely red)...but not a bite that required stitches........and she continued giving me a blowjob then is it possible to get the HIV virus?

Offline RapidRod

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Re: I think I am back for the wrong reason
« Reply #29 on: August 07, 2006, 04:39:05 am »
NO!!!!!

Offline reallyextremlyworried

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Re: I think I am back for the wrong reason
« Reply #30 on: August 07, 2006, 05:52:42 am »
sorry if my questions are silly.

so no need to test in 3 months over the incidences?

Offline reallyextremlyworried

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Re: I think I am back for the wrong reason
« Reply #31 on: August 07, 2006, 07:24:08 am »
Rapid when you said

Now you know if that happens you would have been to your local emergency room getting stiches. That is the only possible way if any, that you could be exposed to HIV by a bite.



I don't understand because even if someone bleeds while getting a blowjob, how can they by exposed to the HIV virus if it is impossible to get HIV from a blowjob?  And secondly how can you get HIV from a bite when you are only bitten by someone's teeth and saliva?  That does not make any sense.......if anyone could please fill me in on this....thanks.

Offline RapidRod

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Re: I think I am back for the wrong reason
« Reply #32 on: August 07, 2006, 07:42:01 am »
Enough of this already. You can put the spends on your questions all you want. You don't get HIV from receiving a blowjob. You don't get HIV from a bite, unless it causes a major laceration and the cut is deep. Then if that were the case you wouldn't have to worry again cause you wouldn't have a pecker to get yourself in trouble.

Offline reallyextremlyworried

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Re: I think I am back for the wrong reason
« Reply #33 on: August 07, 2006, 10:25:37 am »
So I am worrying about absolutely nothing?   Nothing to get an HIV test over after my incidences?   Are you guys for sure about that and I should just drop this notion of getting tested over these incidences completely??

Offline jkinatl2

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Re: I think I am back for the wrong reason
« Reply #34 on: August 07, 2006, 10:27:43 am »
And the circle comes around again. How many times do you need to hear it? I can copy and paste.
"Many people, especially in the gay community, turn to oral sex as a safer alternative in the age of AIDS. And with HIV rates rising, people need to remember that oral sex is safer sex. It's a reasonable alternative."

-Kimberly Page-Shafer, PhD, MPH

Welcome Thread

Offline reallyextremlyworried

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Re: I think I am back for the wrong reason
« Reply #35 on: August 07, 2006, 11:15:29 am »
didn't want to piss you off.....far from wanting to do that.  Thanks again and would love another confirmation if it's the correct and real assessment. 
thanks again.

Offline reallyextremlyworried

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Re: I think I am back for the wrong reason
« Reply #36 on: August 07, 2006, 02:48:41 pm »
sorry for posting so much.......i know the last thing i should do is google.....but in the replies to my posts nothing was said about oral-anal? what is the risk of oral-anal??

I found this quote from http://aids.about.com/cs/safesex/a/oralsex.htm

Oral-Anal Contact
Theoretical Risk: Anilingus carries a theoretical risk of transmission for the insertive partner (the person who is licking or sucking the anus) if there is exposure to infected blood, either through bloody fecal matter (bodily waste) or cuts/sores in the anal area. Anilingus carries a theoretical risk to the receptive partner (the person who is being licked/sucked) if infected blood in saliva comes in contact with anal/rectal lining.
Documented Risk: There has been one published case of HIV transmission associated with oral-anal sexual contact.

has there been a documented case of oral -anal contact? was it the insertive (person doing the sucking) or the receptive (person who received the sucking to their anus) who contracted the HIV virus??  Please help clarify.  Thanks

Offline jkinatl2

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Re: I think I am back for the wrong reason
« Reply #37 on: August 07, 2006, 06:25:05 pm »
There has not been a documented case... That's why it's called "theoretical."

And it illustrates one of the reasons why CYA-style risk assessment does a disservice to the community. This site goes a lot further to explain what is meant by "theoretical risk" than any other site I have encountered.

"Many people, especially in the gay community, turn to oral sex as a safer alternative in the age of AIDS. And with HIV rates rising, people need to remember that oral sex is safer sex. It's a reasonable alternative."

-Kimberly Page-Shafer, PhD, MPH

Welcome Thread

Offline reallyextremlyworried

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Re: I think I am back for the wrong reason
« Reply #38 on: August 08, 2006, 05:38:48 am »


Jonathan.....first off i just want to say that you are doing a fantastic job.  Everytime i come online your here in the wee hours of the morning helping people and giving them real assessments to their risk.  I do not want to toot your own horn, but whatever that you are doing is fantastic.  I want to thank you for your assessments on all my incidences.  I do want to know if you think a person who gets a blowjob (vigorous one) and has a cut on the head of his penis during the blowjob, can contract the HIV virus from the receptive partner through this opening on the head of the penis because the blowjob continued even though the cut was made during?
sorry if i am reiterating.......but I do not understand why a pretty big cut and rupture on the penis head would not allow for contracting the HIV virus via a blowjob?

and that website did say there was one documented case of HIV infection via oral-anal.........in fact a couple of websites went on to say the same thing but none of them gave any details on this documented case?
also in "i just tested poz" forum........a person who just tested positive says he always wore a condom and the only sexual contact he has done without a condom is insertive oral, oral-anal and kissing........and when he did have sex he always wore a condom???  This is quite frightening because what if there are many cases like that and science can not definitively call it a documented case because there is no way to believe and isolate the sexual contact that transmitted the HIV virus to this person.

I guess what i am trying to say is perhaps there are no documented cases of getting HIV from certain sexual behaviours because it is too difficult to isolate these behaviours and believe the person who is telling them about it.  So therefore some theoretical infections can actually be true infections but just not documented.

I want to let go of my situation but I am having a hard time only because i got a nasty cut and rupture on the head of my penis during the blowjob and i still kept on getting the blowjob until climax.  Also oral-anal is worrisome especially in light of the post in the "i just tested poz" forum.   I feel so stupid being back in this position when i have told myself never again.  I just wanted to let this go, but something inside me is saying "now you really fucked up."

thanks for listening and the time that everyone gives to read and respond to people like me in this forum.

Offline jkinatl2

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Re: I think I am back for the wrong reason
« Reply #39 on: August 08, 2006, 05:53:20 am »
One problem I have with an "I just tested positive" forum is that it allows people in denial regarding their HIV transmission to freely discuss their non-scientific vectors for transmission, without any authoritative voice moderating them.

It's absolutely not my call as to what is said there, or why. Sometimes people are ashamed of their actual sexual history. Sometimes people honestly do not correctly remember their sexual history. Sometimes drug and alcohol use, or pre-existing personality disorders influence their recollections.

Thing is, if everyone who CLAIMED to have ben infected through an unusual method of HIV transmission were determined to be legitimate, then HIV would be reclassified from an infectious disease to a contagious one.

If someone makes a claim online (especially on their first and most strident postings online, before they are comfortable with/trust and respect the people online) and that posting contradicts all that we know about HIV transmission vector science, many of us will gently question their motives and agendas for perpetuating their highly improbable stories.

But on the LIVING WITH forum, even - and likely especially - the RECENTLY DIAGNOSED - forum, we do not spend too much time quizzing/confronting people who clearly are not ready to deal with the reality of their infection. Because this site was made initially for a support forum, geared specifically towards people who might have no one else to talk to, or about, their infection. And if they need to dissemble, or lie, or present themselves in a certain light in order to feel safe here, I for one am NOT going to drive them away/ Not unless they post here, in the AM I INFECTED forum, with their anecdotal (and highly questionable) evidence as scientific fact.

I hope I have clarified the purpose of this part of the forum, as well as the rest of the forum, for those who are reading all of the above. I'm not going to attack anyone in the other forums because of his/her scientific inaccuracy. However, I will defend this forum's unflinching ability to provide first-tiered peer reviewed scientific quantifiablity.

"Many people, especially in the gay community, turn to oral sex as a safer alternative in the age of AIDS. And with HIV rates rising, people need to remember that oral sex is safer sex. It's a reasonable alternative."

-Kimberly Page-Shafer, PhD, MPH

Welcome Thread

Offline RapidRod

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Re: I think I am back for the wrong reason
« Reply #40 on: August 08, 2006, 06:00:36 am »
Oh now you have a nasty cut and rupture? That is not what you said in your previous posts. You can put all the spins on it you want. Go test and collect your negative result. There is nothing more we can do you on this forum.

Offline reallyextremlyworried

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Re: I think I am back for the wrong reason
« Reply #41 on: August 08, 2006, 06:08:19 am »
Rapid i did say that the skin on my penis head was ruptured, brigh red and huge.......and it looks like a cut.  I am not trying to put a spin on anything.  I am just saying what i saw and trying my best to describe it to everyone on this forum to get a 'real' risk assessment.

i had said
Thanks Rapid.  So if it was a bite..(penis head was ruptured in one area was really extremely red)...but not a bite that required stitches........and she continued giving me a blowjob then is it possible to get the HIV virus?

Thanks Rapid.  I hope your right.  I just wanted to know something else.  While getting a blowjob, if the person cuts or severly ruptures your penis head by their teeth...........and continues giving you a blowjob for a long time in evening and then again in the morning for a long time...........would this not allow for HIV infection to occur (because of the opening created by the teeth and it is a fresh cut) assuming the person giving the blowjob is HIV positive?

 

Offline jkinatl2

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Re: I think I am back for the wrong reason
« Reply #42 on: August 08, 2006, 06:11:39 am »
In the documented history of the pandemic, the scenario you propose does not pose any quantifiable HIV transmission risk, either in primate/simians, or in human trials.

"Many people, especially in the gay community, turn to oral sex as a safer alternative in the age of AIDS. And with HIV rates rising, people need to remember that oral sex is safer sex. It's a reasonable alternative."

-Kimberly Page-Shafer, PhD, MPH

Welcome Thread

Offline RapidRod

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Re: I think I am back for the wrong reason
« Reply #43 on: August 08, 2006, 06:19:54 am »
I see you don't know what the word "ruptured" means. It looks like a cut? Give me a break. Either it was cut or it wasn't. Go ahead a get your test and collect your negative result.

Offline reallyextremlyworried

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Re: I think I am back for the wrong reason
« Reply #44 on: August 08, 2006, 06:23:43 am »
Thanks Jonathan,Rapid, Ann, and Andy.  I know for you guys it must be irritating to constantly repeat and try to get heard.  I know the more times you say something to someone, it is bound to eventually sink in.  As I have been here before in the past, I have learnt to trust your knowledge on HIV even though it takes awhile.   Thank you guys very much and I am beginning to believe through your knowledge that I do not need to take a HIV test for all these incidences that I have posted in my thread.  So thank you for assuring me of these non-HIV related incidents and helping me to take a burden off my chest, and allowing me to go back to me.  Thank you from the bottom of my heart.

Offline reallyextremlyworried

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Re: I think I am back for the wrong reason
« Reply #45 on: August 08, 2006, 08:51:52 am »
Sorry to post again.......can the ppl of this forum please confirm again one last time that these were all non HIV incidences?  I assure you not to come back again and go in circles, i just want something in writing so if i begin to doubt i have something to read that will put these feelings to rest.

thank you and God bless.

Offline RapidRod

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Re: I think I am back for the wrong reason
« Reply #46 on: August 08, 2006, 11:35:45 am »
I'm to the place that you will only believe what you want, so go get tested 12/13 post exposure. Collect your negative result and move on.

Offline ACinKC

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Re: I think I am back for the wrong reason
« Reply #47 on: August 08, 2006, 11:44:18 am »
Just print out this thread.  Read it every night before bed.
LIFE is not a race to the grave with the intention of arriving safely
in a pretty and well-preserved body, but, rather to skid in broadside,
thoroughly used up, totally worn out, and loudly proclaiming--WOW! WHAT A
RIDE!!!

Offline reallyextremlyworried

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Re: I think I am back for the wrong reason
« Reply #48 on: August 08, 2006, 11:53:48 am »
thanks guys......sorry for reiteration after reiteration...........and Rapid i guess rupture means severe cut.......i had skin on the head of my penis peeled off roughly by her teeth while she was giving me a blowjob......and i still continued with the blowjob to climax because i didn't feel a pain.  But after climax i saw this mark and to best describe it I used words that fueled my horror.  So it was not a rupture but a huge tear of sensitive skin on my penish head which left this extremely noticeable dark red mark on my penis head.  It was penis head skin shred out by her teeth with the violent thrusts that were going on.  Excuse the graphic details, but Rapid that's what it was.

thanks for all your help.

God Bless

Offline RapidRod

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Re: I think I am back for the wrong reason
« Reply #49 on: August 08, 2006, 12:01:07 pm »
Which was not bleeding..

 


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