I can honestly say that I dont have time to think about HIV...

[Kilo]

I will be getting my first blood lab tests drawn on the 30th.
I know I contracted the virus not too long ago and I feel verrrrrrrry healthy.
Before I contracted the virus I never got sick as a strong immune system is a common thread in both sides of my family.
No one ever gets sick.
I find myself very accepting of the diagnosis and maybe thats because I am not sick or taking meds yet.
Maybe it sunk in too quick?
I dunno.
Still a bit confused about that since I found out maybe two weeks ago.
I HAVE NO SEX DRIVE WHATSOEVER THOUGH NOW and I honestly dont want one right now.
Other than that I feel great... and accepting.
Im consumed with work, school and finding time to sleep in between. lol

[raveboijosh]

Yeah dude all I can say is I am sorry... it did not really sink in for me until I got the results of my first labs and they were very bad... but don't let that discourage if they come out worse than u thought... they will take care of you!

[dgr20002]

Welcome Kilo,

Check in often and let us know how you are doing.

David

[bocker3]

Welcome Kilo,

It was after I got my first lab results that things really sunk in for me.  I was driving down the highway when it suddenly hit me -- all the "planning" I'd been doing about getting a good doctor, reading and learning, etc, etc was not about "someone else" it was about me.  The results were mine -- I had to pull over on the highway and have a good long cry.

Now -- almost 3 yrs later -- I've adjusted to my life's new reality -- and things are going along pretty well.

Hope things go well with you too -- do check in and let us know.

Hugs,
Mike

[wetsand]

Staying positive in your attitude and not letting the thought of having AIDS consume you is a good thing.  The fact that you feel good is a major deal.  I got tested and found out about having this disease because I was feeling so lousy.  Living with this is not something that just pops into your psyche.  It takes time to absorb the ramifications.  We all deal differently depending on our situations. I already had my kids so that wasn't an issue.  I went from near suicidal to wanting to experience life's joys in matter of months.  Finding out that there are meds that can make you feel okay and keep going helped turn me around.  My worst thoughts revolved around the possibility that I may have unknowingly passed it along.  After I told the two people I endangered and they tested neg, my burdens were somewhat lifted. I try not to think to much about being infected but its always there.  It changes your life unalterably in both big and little ways.  But we all deal and go on.  I'm not trying to be a downer, but you will have to face some tough moments sooner or later.  The costs of meds and healthcare.  Telling a potential lover.  Revealing to people who love you (I still haven't).  The loss of that robust immune system.  But there are lessons for our enduring spirits.  And we must learn them.

As for the loss of sexual desire.  I think that's normal for awhile.  I lost all drive for several months too.  A very unusual thing for me.  But I blamed my sexuality for my getting this.  I was a bit of an addict for sex and did some reckless things.  But those hard ons returned. 

In the all, its just some damn ailment, a virus.  My thoughts are that it is probably less of a burden than some other diseases one could have.  More treatable than many, and today, less fatal.  And there is help out there.  These boards are enormously helpful, full of insight and anecdotal advice.  And most importantly, they let you know you are not alone.
Journey Well,
Ant

[allopathicholistic]

I find myself very accepting of the diagnosis and maybe thats because I am not sick or taking meds yet.

Taking meds might cause you to think about it more.

Just warning you for the future.

Because meds are a daily "must remember" type of thing and they are dreadfully expensive if you live in the USA (even if you have a good job with "good" health coverage you will likely feel the financial squeeze grow tighter every year and wonder what's going on)  And if you can't afford them you have to prove that affording them on your own would be a hardship or simply impossible. I hope you don't have to take meds for many years or better yet never.

I'm just letting you know that with having HIV in your life, mental priorities and actual daily priorities can change very quickly and the access-to-meds waltz is often a heavy reason for this. (mentally heavy)