POZ Community Forums
Main Forums => Living With HIV => Topic started by: puertorico2006 on April 21, 2007, 11:22:40 am
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A while back a guy offered to take me to his car and he wanted me to give him "head".....
I did but did not disclose because i know that he wasnt going to return the favor, i was drunk, and in my mind i felt that the risk wasnt even worth the disclosure....If he would have given me oral then I would have done it (although I also dont see the need but based on discussions recently posted i think ill stick with that)....
What is everyones viewpoint on disclosure and oral sex if your not even getting any in return.....
I know its been discussed a billion times ....i know there are possible legal actions in many cases but im not sure if this would apply considering the risk factors (almost 0)...but the law works in mysterious ways lol....
-josh
(who thinks he knows what the answers will be but still feels the need to post it)
P.S. on a side note someone i did disclose to a while back had a small "cut" in his mouth and we kissed asked me...."can i get hiv from kissing" i felt like telling him "in what year are you living in????" but i tried to educate him the best i could....lol
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That is so completely horrible and wrong. I simply am stunned.
I would have reciprocated with enthusiam. :o
No worries. You don't get hiv from getting a blowjob.
But really? He offered to let you come to his car and blow him?
How generous.
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Well it wasnt quite like that...but i knew thats where it was going.....
Im sure he would have tried to blow me but we were in a rush before his boyfriend found out (i know i should know better hahaha)......
Im sure he would have returned the favor if i asked but i didnt feel like disclosing to him anyways hehe....
-josh
(who loves his gym because thats where he meets all these hot guys and can spark up a conversation in a club when he see's them)
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Like Dingo says, you cannot get HIV from receiving a blowjob. That being the case, I think this is a scenario where you can justifiably opt not to disclose. The other way round is a different matter IMO.
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It wasn't me you were blowing, so it was wrong. :-\
Milker.
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It wasn't me you were blowing, so it was wrong. :-\
Milker.
i would have much rather it been you....i swear i was thinking about you the entire time :-*
but until we meet ill have to settle for mediocre :( lol
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Use a rubber when blowing and getting blown. Remember, there are other viruses and STI's! You don't need to go on top of your already HIV Infection. You might want to ay off the alcohol as well since it impairs your judgment.
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Use a rubber when blowing and getting blown.
I would just tell a guy, no thanks, if he insisted on that. There's a limit to how hermetically sealed and quaking in fear we need to live.
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I've never met a person in my life that uses a rubber for oral sex.....
have you tasted rubber? lol....
-josh
(who isnt saying its a bad idea but not for me)
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Latex will never pass these lips again. did that and hated it. :-\
Love oral sex but now we have to be aware of a resistant gonorrhea.
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Hey Josh,
I heard there was two kinds of sex...
1. Oral Sex, when you talk about it
2. Written Sex, when you write about it
Have the best day
Michael
(who just wanted to have a little fun before signing off) ;D
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I rather deal with the taste of rubber then the meds that's for sure. Try rubbers with flavors. Rememeber, you are now more proned to catch something since your immune system is weaken. Don;t make it worse! USE A CONDOM! SIMPLE! A
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I would just tell a guy, no thanks, if he insisted on that. There's a limit to how hermetically sealed and quaking in fear we need to live.
Gonorrhea, Chlamydia, and who can forget Herpes Simplex?
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I've never met a person in my life that uses a rubber for oral sex.....
have you tasted rubber? lol....
-josh
(who isnt saying its a bad idea but not for me)
Thats why I have flavored condoms.
My two favorites are the tropical banana, and the chocolate of course.
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NO WAY NO HOW would I suck a condomed dick. GROSS.
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Matty the Damned views disclosure laws with a considerably jaundiced eye, for reasons he and others have gone over many times previously.
In this case I would not have disclosed nor used condoms whether I was giving or receiving. I am yet to be convinced that HIV can be transmitted from an insertive partner to a receptive partner during oral sex.
MtD
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A long time ago (when I was young and negative), a guy put a rubber on me before blowing me... I have never wanted to get out a situation more than I did then....Not only was I surprised, but I actually felt insulted.
Over the past 20 years I have sucked many a dick and been blown many a times...and I'm sure that I was with my share of poz guys over that time....and yet I always tested negative. It was only after a bareback anal encounter that I tested positive.
I have to go with my 20 years of personal experience....
And, no, I will not use condoms for oral sex.....ever. I'd rather not do it at all than use condoms for oral sex.
Disclosure before oral sex? It's a personal choice. When I was negative, if I had something going on in my mouth (dental work or whatever), I just didn't suck dick. Period. I also never brushed my teeth right before a sexual encounter. I was aware it was possible to get it through oral sex, so I did what I needed to do in order to prevent a fresh pathway into my body. I think most gay guys know that.
But hey this is all just my opinion, do whatever you are comfortable with.....
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Gonorrhea, Chlamydia, and who can forget Herpes Simplex?
Although not pleasant i dont really worry about the first 2 that much because they are curable...but with my luck id get a resistant strain lol....but that risk im willing to take with oral sex anyways....The thing with HIV is i get tested for that all the time so im sure it wouldnt go months unoticed ...not to mention that pissing swords sensation makes it a little hard to miss....
As far as herpes simplex goes i guess ive been pretty lucky because ive never had it ...and yes i know there is no cure........but i still have taken that risk also...
I usually ask if they have any STD's before they give me head but dont always ask before i give them head....but i know that that would mean im relying on somoene elses word which is dangerous ...but hoping if theyve had the evil herpes simplex they would let me know...and if they did id like to be pretty sure they werent having an outbreak at the moment and have that pretty supressed...
but its a risk i take :-D
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hi well.. love oral sex too... and believe the condom thing tastes terrible... mmm we should find another solution to this.. don't you think? what about having a listerine or something nearby so you can use it once you are done with your "job". And off course, NEVER again let anyone else cum in your mouth!!.
Take into account i am newbie in here and i am not here because of my huge knowledge on safe sex for sure, but i wonder.. with listerine or something like that... could one prevent this kind of risk? if not lets be creative!!
cheers
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Like it or not, we must use rubbers. point blank. they are now (For a long time) and have been a part of our sexual adventures. If you don;t like the taste, use flavoured! I know we love the natural taste, believe me I was a lover of uncut meat, but our immune systems can't fight infections and viruses like they use to.
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Like it or not, we must use rubbers. point blank. they are now (For a long time) and have been a part of our sexual adventures.
Matty the Damned disagrees. He doesn't use rubbers to this day except for anal intercourse with neggies, which is mercifully rare. When with his poz brothers it's pink on pink all the way.
If rubbers had, for a long time, been a part of my sexual adventures I wouldn't be posting here today.
MtD
(Who enjoys being up to his nutz in gutz)
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NewYorkKat I just read your story and it seems that you've been extremely safe except for one sad night. Not every one is used to that amount of safe sex, I have tried to suck dick with a condom and it was disgusting (I think the flavor was strawberry or something). As most other members replied, i'd rather do a hand job than suck a condom. As I said in a post some time ago I have sucked zillions of dicks and never got infected. I'm not saying that sucking dick unprotected is safe, i'm saying that the risk is extremely low. I would never suck dick after a dentist visit or if i brushed my teeth and there was some bleeding. the mistake I did was clearly an unprotected anal intercourse.
So I can understand your message, but it's going to be hard to be conveyed :)
Milker.
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I'll take my 15 years of HIV experience over someone's 3 months any day on this particular issue, no offense NewYorkKat.
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I dated a guy back in the 80s who insisted on condoms for oral sex. It wasn't a deal breaker but sucking on a rubber was not a lot of fun. Condoms for anal sex has never really bothered me but condoms for oral is a kill joy.
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If I am going to hell, then surely one of the torments there will be sucking latex-covered condoms. Until then I have no need to practice this abhorrent act.
Brent
(Who awaits his judgement with certitude)
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I had a neighbor back in the late 70s who loved to blow me(she might have been faking it), but she always made me wear a rubber. I would only submit to this when too drunk to whack off. Guess she was ahead(not a pun) of her time.