POZ Community Forums
HIV Prevention and Testing => Do I Have HIV? => Topic started by: ktoles on August 01, 2007, 08:01:58 am
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Hello... I am a 20 year old Bisexual male from Canada. I am not sexually active all that often because I am extremely nervous of getting HIV from someone. I always use condoms, water based lube and I always ask status before I do anything.
This past Sunday, I met with a guy. He performed Oral Sex on me, and it got really intense from there... but this is not the exposure that I am worried about (I have read about the risks associated with oral sex)
During that time there were no condoms present and there was anal frottage (my johhnson was rubbing against his anus) and I was almost sure that there was not any penetration because I feel that I would have felt it. I emailed him a couple of times and got a response back last night. He said that he did indeed penetrate me, he said his ass went down on my johnson somewhat. Now because for about 3 quarters I was able to move my penis fairly freely and back it away from his ass, the only point it could have been was for a very brief period (couldnt have been more than a minute at the most), before he got off and ejaculated me. The think is I don't remember feeling the intense pressure on myself when someone does go down on me. I never bottom, but the thing is if there was more penetration than that, I still don't know what my chances are, I am certain that never did he go down entirely on me because I know I would have felt it, but if there was some brief penetration is this still not super risky? I plan to go get tested in September at 6 weeks and then again in October at 10 weeks... Should I expect to test negative out of this??
Kyle (extremely worried)
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Kyle, from what you have described I would say it's extremely unlikely that you really fully penetrated this guy. There may have been some "dipping," a slight insertion, but it's not clear that even that happened.
Given your anxiety about the incident getting tested is a good idea. 6 weeks is good and then you can confirm what I expect will be a negative result by re-testing at 13 weeks.
You've got the right idea about using condoms everytime and water-based lube. Asking someone about his status is not the way to go. Even well meaning people don't always know their accurate status. And from my point of view if someone wants to volunteer that information it's fine but it's not something one ought to ask. And in any case, what you do in terms of protection should not be based on what you're told. Just always follow safer sex guidelines and you'll be fine as far as HIV is concerned.
You know, becoming sexually active is often very anxiety-provoking as well as exciting and enjoyable. It's all a part of the deal. Stay productively busy during your waiting period and the time will pass more quickly than you may imagine possible. Ultimately I expect you will come out of this ok.
Cheers,
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Thanks for the advice Andy,
as I said before I'm not even sure he dipped into me. he says he went down on me somewhat. So what exactly that means, he may not know the different between dipping and penetration means, because like I said I'm sure I would have felt it if he had gone down on me, because at first there is always that immense pressure and I am 99% sure that he did not fully penetrate me, that being said what is my risk level here? Is it enough that I need to worry about this?
Kyle
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Kyle, let's get clear about this. Are we talking about you having been penetrated or you having penetrated the other guy? You use the phrase "gone down on me," which is usually about you having your penis sucked and is not a term used for anal sex.
When it comes to sexual matters it's good to get into the habit of being clear, simple and specific about what you have to say.
Please clarify.
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Sorry Andy for not being more clear, this is about me not being sure if I penetrated him thats what I meant by him going down on me somewhat I think I would have felt it I think, I dont even remember that happening and if it did it couldnt have been for more than a few seconds just before he got his ass away from my johnson and made me ejaculate... his ass on my johnson somewhat... but like I said I wasn't entirely sure... he even did that, he said he did somewhat... what that means I dont know
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OK. So for future reference I suggest you be real clear about what is being discussed.
From what you have described of the incident it would appear to me that you probably didn't do more than have your penis head penetrate him very slightly and briefly, if even that. Since there seems to be some doubt about what actually happened, getting tested is a good idea.
My expectation is that you will test negative.
In the meantime while you are waiting to test you need to stay productively busy and the time will pass more quickly than you may imagine possible at this moment.
Good luck with your test.
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I'm pretty sure that I didn't fully penetrate him, because I know I would have felt it, I have for sure felt it with the other guys I have been with (protected by the way) and just as I begin to penetrate them there is always a great amount of pressure put on my johnson, and I know that I did not feel that pressure with him, so if as you describe and my penis head only penetrated him very briefly what would my risk level have been? Is it something that I should worry about in the meantime?
You honestly think the odds are in my favor?
Thanks
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I'm pretty sure that I didn't fully penetrate him, because I know I would have felt it, I have for sure felt it with the other guys I have been with (protected by the way) and just as I begin to penetrate them there is always a great amount of pressure put on my johnson, and I know that I did not feel that pressure with him, so if as you describe and my penis head only penetrated him very briefly what would my risk level have been? Is it something that I should worry about in the meantime?
I'VE ALREADY ANSWERED THIS QUESTION MORE THAN ONCE. IF IN FACT THERE WAS BRIEF PARTIAL PENETRATION THE RISK WAS EXTREMELY LOW TO NIL.
SHOULD YOU WORRY ABOUT IT IN THE MEANTIME? WHAT DOES IT MATTER WHAT I SAY? YOU SEEM TO BE JUST REPEATING YOURSELF SO TELLING YOU NOT TO WORRY WOULD BE LIKE TELLING YOU DON'T BE NERVOUS. YOU'RE THERE ALREADY. I TOLD YOU WHAT TO DO DURING THE WAITING PERIOD. STAY PRODUCTIVELY BUSY.
You honestly think the odds are in my favor?
I'VE TOLD YOU WHAT I HONESTLY THINK. I HAVE NOTHING MORE TO ADD. NOW WE'RE JUST DANCING AROUND HERE. YOU HAVE SOME WAITING TIME. GET BUSY IN YOUR LIFE WITH OTHER THINGS. NOW!
END OF STORY.
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Andy I do apologize, I know this fear is probably irrational, but I'm going on my memory and the heat of the moment things can be rememberd but at the one thing that I do know is that I did not fully penetrate him, and thanks to your advice I am for sure going to wait till October gets here, get my negative test and then woohoo and always make sure I am careful. Thanks for your advice Andy
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That's a good plan. And this experience can encourage you to make clear to any future partner(s) that you want to be wearing a condom if anal is involved.
And like I said, I expect you to come out of this ok.
Cheers,
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Andy,
Thanks for your advice and your words. You have really good credentials so I am for sure going to take your advice. I start a new job Tuesday so that for the next few months should for sure keep me busy before October, then I will go in at the 12-13 week mark to go and get tested and then move on with my life, but I do expect to test negative as does my best friend, It's just when I get home and am on my own, that I think about it so I should for sure just move on and get on with my life because fretting about it doesnt exactly do anything, I have to wait and I have to deal with that.
Kyle
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I've been doing some research, and talked to a few people. From what I can garner my risk was extremely low. That being said I went to thebody.com and Dr. Bob says that dipping constitutes a risk. I'm trying to get past it and move on, but I am still thinking about it. I do expect to test negative in October but I am still worried. That being said there was no ejaculation and it wasn't full penetration, and it wouldn't have been more than 30 seconds-minute at the most and I'm still not 100% sure that his ass went down on my penis head at all. I know my shaft was not used, because if he was on me he was on his knees and he was a tall guy, That being said I'm still trying to avoid the internet sites because I don't want my anxiety to go up, but it's still in the back of my mind. I believe my risk was extremely low. I'm hoping that I will be ok out of this.
Kyle
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Kyle,
I expect you to come out of this A-OK as well.
Ann
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Thanks Ann,
I hope to be as well, as I said I expect to test negative it's just the wait time inbetween thats killer, but I've got to wait till October at 3 months before I can get on with it, I start a new job so that should keep me busy in the meantime
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Keeping yourself busy is the best way to deal with the wait. Really the time will fly past. A good idea is not to surf the internet searching for info about HIV. That'll just drive you nuts.
Like the others I fully expect you'll test negative.
MtD
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Thanks, Yeah I'm going to try and do myself a favor and keep off the websites, that will only drive me nuts, but thanks for everyones help as well!
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Hey all...
I had a good talk with a friend.
I know that my risk was tiny and I just need to get through the next three weeks to the first test, it should go by quick, Ive got a job interview and with the US open coming up that should take my mind off things. I'm going to try and stay off the internet. Im still not even sure I penetrated him, if i did it was brief.
So I'm done worrying about it.
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It's just when that doubt creeps back into my head when someone mentions HIV or I see it on the news or TV or whatever. It just freaks me out.
My friend thinks Im going to be absolutely fine.
But still I'm not sure theres still doubt that creeps in the back of my mind
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Forgot to add that I anticipate I will be fine, I think my mind is just playing tricks on me
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Fortunately doubts and feelings aren't facts. And yes, I still expect you to come out of this ok.
Cheers,
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Ok,
Went in at 11 weeks and a day and got tested... I've been told that it's ok for testing. I found out today that while the guy insists he is clean he could be unknown so it drives me nuts. I will know by Friday or Monday at the latest... I think I will be ok, but I gotta know for sure... If I do come back negative never again will I do anything to put myself in that position.
Kyle
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Went in at 11 weeks and a day and got tested... I've been told that it's ok for testing. I found out today that while the guy insists he is clean he could be unknown so it drives me nuts. I will know by Friday or Monday at the latest... I think I will be ok, but I gotta know for sure... If I do come back negative never again will I do anything to put myself in that position.
Kyle,
Please don't use terms like "clean" when talking about a person's HIV status. I have HIV infection and I'm willing to bet I'm a damn sight "cleaner" than you.
It's insulting and very offensive.
MtD
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Sorry I didn't mean to insult anyone, that's just the genral term that I've always used with everyone, I should have said he insists his status is Negative... but for my own personal peace of mind that I wanted get tested, I think I will be ok, I know its not something that is easy to get and the time was very brief and there was no way it was full penetration
Kyle
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Well it is insulting and if it's the "general term that you always use with everyone" then stop it.
MtD
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Ok, I apologize if I insulted you personally, I still hope and expect to test negative at this point and once that happens I will move on with my life and be much more careful... I think I'm ok.
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k,
You didn't only insult Matty personally - you insulted each and every one of us who lives with hiv and you do so every time you use the term instead of hiv negative.
Ann
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Ok,
Again I apologize for not using correct terminology when it comes to this. The guy continues to insist that his status is HIV Negative, I had the test done and will know by Friday, I started a new job but I obviously can't be consumed by this. I hope to finally be able to move on with my life from here. I am taking the advice previously and do expect to test negative. Again I am sorry if I have offened personally, I never in any way meant to do that.
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Is getting tested at 11 weeks and a day good enough for testing? Should I go back on the 28th and get tested again or would that be sufficient enough time to make sure that I can fully move on? I would have tested this Sunday which would have been 12 weeks or do I need to go in again at 13 to officially confirm or would it be ok to think that Im negative and can finally move on? Thanks
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I decided to wait until the three month mark to get tested... I did and the results have come back negative. I am finally able to get past this irrational fear and now I officially know my limits of what I am willing and NOT willing to do. I want to thank everyone here for the words of wisdom it really has been a hellish three months and now I am going to move on with my life. And to those who I may have offended, again I apologize for any offence that I may have caused I am now better versed and thanks again. I'm off to celebrate (while keeping the condoms handy) Thanks guys
Kyle
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Hey all,
I have taken the advice of everyone here. I had sex (protected anal) about 3 weeks ago. I used a condom and lots of water based lube. However I have a quick question. I think im totally fine here but... I put on the condom and used lots of water based lube. It was put on me correctly with the little tip at the top to dispel any air or whatever to prevent breakage. However when I pulled out, while the condom was still on me I believe this is due to loss of erection, but that tip that was little was a whole lot bigger, than when I inserted. I'm not sure if I'm being clear here. I inspected the condom twice and there were NO holes, that I am 100% absolutely sure of. I assume this means I was still protected? I just mean that the tip of the condom was a lot bigger then it orignally was. I just believe this means it was due to loss of erection? I believe it was as I was not as hard as I was when I inserted. Any advice/reassurance would have been greatly appreciated. Thanks
kyle
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#1, please keep all of your entries in this same thread. I have merged your latest question with your previous thread. Our rule is to continue using the same thread.
As to your question about the condom, if it had failed you would have known it. When a condom fails it's not about a teensy weensie little hole. The whole thing ends up looking like fringed hula hoop on your penis. So whatever cause the expansion of the tip is irrelevant. It was on your penis and it protected you. That's the important fact and not your fears.
There's no cause for concern about this incident in terms of HIV transmission.
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Hi everyone,
Just a quick question. I was seeing a guy for a few weeks, and we were intimate. For the first time I was the bottom, however I was fully prepared and bought water based lube and condoms from the drug store. The only question I have is the matter of ejaculation. The condom was on him, and he was still inside me when he ejaculated. I examined the condom and there were no holes and the ejaculate was in there, so I do not have anything to worry about correct? As long as the condom was still on him when he pulled out (which it was) then I have nothing to worry about in this case? Thanks.
Kyle
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That's right. You done good. ;) You're fine. No need for testing. Keep up the good work (and that's some fun work to keep up, eh?)
Cheers.
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You've got the right idea. You can have as much anal intercourse as you like whether insertive or receptive as long as whoever is inserting is always wearing a latex condom. They do the job of protecting both partners very effectively.
Cheers,
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Hi All,
Just checking in here. I recently engaged in some sexual activity that included me performing oral sex on him, him performing oral sex on me and his penis rubbing against my ass. I know it didn't go in because I would have felt it. Anyways I believe I am ok in terms of HIV. I would just like some clarification. I plan on going and getting tested for ALL STD's at the end of next month as it will have been 6 months since my last test. I asked his status and he said he was in the clear.
The only thing that I would be would be worried about in terms of HIV is me performing Oral Sex on him. My oral health is fine (no sores, cuts, etc.) and there was no cum on his penis. If anyone could help with any clarification it would be greatly appreciated. Thanks
Kyle
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Kyle,
Giving a blowjob is only a risk for hiv infection in theoretical terms. There have been long-term studies of couples where one is positive and one is negative. In the couples who used condoms for anal or vaginal intercourse, but no barrier for oral activities, not one of the negative partners became infected with hiv. Not one. This shows us two things. One, condoms are very effective for the prevention of hiv transmission. Two, oral sex is much lower risk than previously believed. We now have the evidence that oral sex is mainly a theoretical risk where hiv transmission is concerned.
As there wasn't even any cum involved in your blowjob, it's safe to say you had no risk whatsoever.
Ann
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Thanks Ann,
That's good to know. I've heard conflicting stories about the risks associated with Oral Sex. I know it's virtually impossible for insertive oral sex. The only part worrying me was the receptive part of it, I have read however, that saliva can inhibit the virus and damage it and thus making it unable to infect? Something to do with the enzymes or something of that nature. My mouth has been in pain slightly but I believe that is from tongue scraping that occured afterwards, I inspected my mouth and there were no open wounds or anything like that, I had also put some oragel on too just because my cheeks were sore but again I think more to do with the tongue scraping than anything else. I still hope I am ok, but anyways I will be going to get tested in 6 weeks anyways. Thanks again.
Kyle
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Hi All,
I hope this is not an overreaction, but I just want to be clear here.
Since the day that this occurred (Sunday) I have had a soreness in the gums that is still occurring as of today. I have done several inspections and all appears to be normal in terms of gums and there are NO signs of any wounds or cuts of any sort. Just the soreness.
I performed oral sex on the guy for no more than 30 seconds and to my memory there was no to very little precum on the guy. My only concern is in terms of risk of what could have happened if any of the precum had got into my mouth by accident. Obviously there is no way of knowing or not, But to the best of my memory there was no precum. He didn't ejaculate until after we had finished up.
However this could also be attributed to a rigorous tongue scraping that occurred the same day. I did it so hard to the point of accidental vomiting and whenever I put the tongue scraper in the back of my mouth on that exact same spot where the gums hurt that's when it gets tender so it could very well just have been the tongue scraping.
Do you recommend specific testing for this incident? I plan to go at the end of June as this will have been 6 months since my last exam and 6 weeks since this occurrence. If anyone could clarify it would be greatly appreciated. Thanks
Kyle
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Kyle,
My advice does NOT change in light of your latest details.
Ann
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Thanks Ann,
I will just go in at the end of June and will not worry. Thanks
Kyle
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I am so freaking out right now. I went to a gay bar last night. I was going to leave but I met a guy, he was a cute Cuban guy and told me he was 27. We went back to his place and watched a movie and chilled on the couch, we didn't do anything major, made out, but he bit the part under my tongue and made it bleed, but not major. He then proceeded to perform oral sex, again not a big deal, however I believe he only fingered me anally, is there a distinct difference between a finger and a penis? I believe there is a distinct difference and I truly believe that his penis was inside of his shorts and because of the way he was situated on the couch there was no way his penis could have penetrated me.
But then we went to bed and tells me he's 38!!! He told me that because he sees a guy he likes and age shouldn't matter it's how you feel. Well he lied to me, but he says his normal age at a bar and he gets rejected because Canadian boys have a thing about age. I was going to go leave, he told me that he liked me still but that he was actually 27, and then asked me how I felt and what I wanted to do, my head was spinning and then it turns out he was actually 38, I slept in his bed for an hour, nothing happened again but I woke up and I just couldn't. He fingered me (sorry to be so brutal) and well I got you can imagine, but Mel, I'm freaking out, who's to say this guy couldn't have had HIV? what if he had raped me? What if I had let him get to know me and had all this shit to happen to me? It's probably because of the Hang Over, but I just need to calm down, I'm freaking out and crying and don't want to be alone. I'm freaking out. I don't want to do anything or go anywhere or do anything. I'm scared to leave my room. I think I need to sleep but I am still spinning. I don't know what to do! Did I have any risk? Thanks
Kyle
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What if he had raped you????!!!!! This is nutzy stuff, bud.
First of all, nothing you did in this situation put you at risk for HIV transmission. Period. Nothing.
Now, if you can't tell a finger from a dick then I would say THAT'S a problem you need to resolve before you have sex again. Seriously, there's a kind of confusion and hysteria underlying what you have written which leads me to think you ought to be talking with a therapist or other professional and do some sorting out about your feelings in general and sex in particular.
This is not an HIV situation. I suggest you get your other issues addressed in an appropriate professional setting.
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I do apologize Andy. I wrote that yesterday as I had just gotten home and was hung over, I was dazed and confused and I do realize that I must be more careful in making these kinds of judgements when I go out.
I do realize that this is not an HIV situation however when we were making out, his teeth bit underneath my tongue and caused the inside of my mouth to bleed, I did clean out my mouth, but this would not be a cause for concern would it?
As for what else happened, I do not that it was his fingers and not his penis. Again that was part of the confusion and my mental state yesterday, I had consumed a lot of alcohol and was brushing off the effects of it. A lot of sleep later and I am much more composed and I am not worried. I am just glad that this situation is over and I will move on. Thanks
Kyle
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Kyle,
If you don't move on and get some one-on-one help, you'll be moved on. You've been here long enough to know our posting guidelines. Keep coming back with this kind of stuff and you'll be given a time out.
Ann
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Apologies,
I will move on with my life as I know that this is NOT an HIV situation, probably more to do with lingering anxiety than anything. I think it's time I start talking to someone, I can't be afraid everytime I do something with a guy, I know what is considered is risk and what is not and clearly this situation is not a risk and I do apologize. Thanks.
Kyle
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Good. That sounds like a healthy plan for getting on with your life.
One last word of caution: Mixing excessive drinking with sex is a very dangerous combination. Have all the sex you like and with whomever you choose. Just do it the safer way with condoms everytime and soberly. Let the experience itself be your high instead of alcohol.
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Thanks Andy,
I just have one quick question. Is it common for the anus to be quite sore after rigorous stimulation with the fingers? I was fingered quite rigorously and he got up into my prostate which is supposed to be quite a common sexual act, I just spoke with a local nurse and she wasn't too sure, other than that if this lasts more than a couple of days to go see a doctor. I was quite sore after the first time I had bottomed, and this is the same kind of soreness. I have never been fingered and I was fingered quite rigorously so I'm just wondering if it is possible to feel the same kind of pain after fingering. Any help would be greatly appreciated. Thanks.
Kyle
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Kyle,
Of course if you're "fingered rigorously" you could end up very sore indeed.
We don't seem to be helping you at all, we're only enabling you to continue fretting about hiv.
I'm giving you that time out you've been warned about. Please use this as the push you need to seek counseling.
Do not attempt to create a new account to get around your tiime out because if you do, you will be permanently banned.
Ann
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Hi everyone,
I went in on June 28 for my HIV Tests as well as other STD's and everything came back negative, the last incident I described was the last time I was sexually active with someone, I am hoping that I can say I am fine and conclusively HIV negative? Thanks for all the advice and support, I have learned to deal with my fear and know that as long as I am using condoms that I should continue to remain ok. Thanks
Kyle
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I notice that you are still putting that remark about being negative in the form of a question.
Yes, you are HIV negative. Get on with your life. Really.
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Hi Everyone,
I just wanted to double check about something.
A few weeks ago a guy that I was seeing came over and we started to fool around. I got fingered by him (was fairly brief) and then there was some frottage. What concerns me is that he pushed his penis to a spot right near my anus very hard, so much so that it started to really hurt. Once it started to get really painful I asked him to stop he did, I asked him later if he did possibly penetrate me and he was sure that he hadn't. That it was only his finger. This is was all very brief because as soon as I started to feel pain he backed off. If there was this very brief penetration what are my risks and should I needing to be test at the earliest convenience? Thanks
Kyle
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Kyle, you're giving mixed information here. If there was penetration that was a risk and you need to test at 13 weeks. Frottage is not penetration. Fingering might include penetration but it's not a risk.
We weren't standing over you watching what was going on.
It doesn't sound to me as if there was penetration but you have to decide whether there was or not and what you are comfortable with about this incident. You also need to stay awake to what is happening when you have sex so that you don't have to be thinking afterwards about whether something happened or didn't.
The other guy said there was no penetration. If you agree then forget about it and get on with your life. If you aren't sure then get tested at 13 weeks and collect what I expect will be a negative result since IF penetration took place it was very brief and wouldn't have involved ejaculation.
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Hi Andy,
There was a lot of frottage going on while we were together. IE his dick got really close to me, it was only for this brief period that he really started to push hard near my anus, thats when it really started to hurt is because he was pushing down on it (my legs were on his shoulders) but as far as I could tell he didn't actually penetrate me. I have also pushed with my finger on that same spot right near my anus and pushing on that spot is the same pain that I had felt when he pushed his dick there. I think I was just worried about there being very brief penetration (it wouldn't have been more than a split second at the most) before I asked him to stop because of the pain. He also said that while we were fooling around that it hadn't went in. He said he had never had sex without a condom.
I also asked him his status and he has also insisted that he is HIV negative and gets tested routinely because of his job (Canadian Military).
So I believe I am ok I just wanted to double check here just to see
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What the other guy says about his status doesn't mean borscht. YOU are the person responsible for your own health. Even a well meaning person may not know his accurate status so yOU have to stay awake to what is happening.
From what you have added it doesn't seem to me that penetration took place. With that in mind I don't see any further cause for concern nor for testing.
Give it up and get on with your life.
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Fair enough.
I routinely get tested every six months anyways. I have also been in contact with him and he says he is sure that there was no penetration involved, I was pretty sure there was none to begin with anyways. So thanks for clarification.
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Hi,
I recently had an encounter where anal was involved. There was a condom on, and I am 100% sure the condom was on when I withdrew and there were no holes as I inspected thoroughly. There was lots of lube used however the lube used was expired! This was my fault, I checked the condom expiry date and it was fine. The condom was 100% on my penis when I withdrew and I think that is the most important thing? There were no holes and the condom stayed on. I know that the expired lube could have potentially compromised the condom but again I inspected it more than once and there were no gaping holes, it was on me and that was the most important thing correct? Any cause for concern? Thanks.
Kyle
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Kyle,
The condom didn't break. No reason for concern. No risk.
Ann
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Hi,
Just for further clarification, upon further examination there seems to be to me what seems like dried blood or minor fecal matter in some parts of the condom... I can't really tell too much if this was on the outside of the condom, if these things were inside the condom (though I don't know how it could have really got in because it was on fairly tight when I took it off) would this indeed pose a risk tomorrow? But again when I examine the condom i cant tell if this was the inside or the outside of the condom. If you could help me out it would be greatly appreciated. Thanks.
Kyle
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Kyle,
What, did you save the darned thing so you could examine it under a microscope at your lesiure?
You used a condom. It was tight. Nothing got inside of it. It didn't break. You didn't have a risk.
We're not here to hold your hand every time you have sex. You've been coming here long enough now to have learned and understood the basics. Re-read your thread, the Transmission lesson and the condom/lube links until this stuff sinks in.
Ann
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Hi,
I had messed around with a guy on New Year's Eve. We performed oral sex on each other (he was uncut) and rimming. All told this lasted about two hours I ejaculated near his ass but never actually penetrated him. There was no reason to worry about this particular incident is there? Thanks.
I had been feeling run down with a headache and stomachache but went to the dr. this morning and it was strep throat.
I just got tested and checked out as negative a few weeks ago and will go again in about six months time. Thanks.
Kyle
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You were never at risk and you don't need a six month test.
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Hi All,
just double checking, I engaged in some oral sex that was mutual, I didn't recriprocate for very long (maybe 20 seconds max), my only question was the ejaculation, I was sitting on top of him while he waws ejaculating and he was laying on his back, I wasn't straddling him but when he did eventually ejaculate some of it did land on in between my ass as I was sitting on top of him, but that was the top crack part of the anus (it was also cleaned up RIGHT away) but none of it did go inside my anus as he did NOT at any point penetrate me. Is any of this a cause for concern when it comes to HIV for me? Thanks.
Kyle
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I just wanted to double check and get your feedback. Thanks :)
Kyle
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Kyle, another no risk incident. You've been coming here long enough to know what's risky and what isn't.
Re-read the long list of responses here if you need to refresh your memory.
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Hi All,
I know it's been a long time but I just want to come back and double check and make sure. I had sex a couple of nights ago, I wore a condom and used KY (purified water based), the condom was put on correctly (little tip at the end of the condom) and I KNOW the condom did NOT break I remember looking at it a couple times just to make sure, and it did NOT break. The only thing is when he finished and took himself off of me, I cant quite remember (we were both sober, no alcohol, drugs or poppers), I am almost entirely certain that I took the condom off and ejaculated myself, if condoms are worn properly they don't just slip off especially when lube is used? I just owe this to bad short term memory. I think in this case I am 100% alright, I will go for my yearly test in April and see how it goes.
Thanks,
Kyle
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Kyle,
This is not a risk situation, as you correctly surmise.
MtD
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As I thought, I mean in this case the ONLY risk would have been slippage, but condoms don't just slip off when they are worn correctly and lots of lube is used correct? I also an ENTIRELY certain that the condom did NOT slip into his ass, as I said I am almost entirely certain that I pulled the condom off and jacked off and finished up, the condom did ALSO not break so I think in this case I'm just fine.
Thanks,
Kyle
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Kyle,
You were not at risk. Slippage is not an issue. Seriously you need to chill out baby.
Remember that posting endlessly about non-risk situations can result in a ban.
Ya dig?
MtD
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No problem as long as the head of your penis remained covered.
As far as I can see you are worrying needlessly. Let it go and get on with your life. And keep using condoms for intercourse. Everytime.
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I have used condoms EVERY time since my first time and never had one break fortuantely. In this case the condom did NOT break and that I am 100% certain of, as MtD said slippage is not an issue. There was lots of lube used too. I know that the condom did also not slip into his ass after we were done either (IE after he pulled himself off) I'm almost certain I pulled the condom off and finished up. so if thats the case I know I'm ok, so thanks for confirming. I of course will still go and get tested in April (as part of my yearly routine tests). Thanks again.
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I don't see any reason to expect anything other than a negative result in April.
In the meantime, given your demonstrated propensity to worry and frett about HIV issues. I strongly urge you to focus on other matters in your life. It will help the time before testing to go much more easily than you may imagine is possible.
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It was safe sex so I don't expect anything other than that result as well, the condom was on, no slippage, no breakage, so in this case I'm good to go, out of site, out of mind until April when I go in for my yearly testing.
Thanks
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I'm sure I am probably just worrying about this stupidly, but just one last double check, Andy you said that as long as the head of my penis was covered than I am fine, just hypothetically what if it wasn't? IE what if the condom slipped off into his ass? I am almost entirely certain in this case that did NOT happen. There was KY lube (water based) and the condom went on correctly (I made sure the tip was there too), I was still inserted in him when he ejaculated and then he slowly took himself off of me, that is where I am slightly fretting. I am entirely certain there was nothing pulled out of his ass, the condom was put on correctly and lots of lube was used and if that was the case it could have NOT slipped off correct? I believe this was a no risk situation where I pulled off the condom and finished and if thats the case, then Im fine, go get my test, and then I'll be set in April.
Thanks
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We're simply not going to get into the very slippery territory of head games about WHAT IFs.
From what you have described I don't see any factual information to think the condom had slipped off of the head of your penis.
Again, I expect you to test negative based on what you have reported. You REALLY do need to work on focusing on other things while you are waiting to test. We're not going to have a back and forth everytime you have another burst of anxiety. Really.
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When I break it down and think back logically, the more i realize is that it was virtually impossible for the condom to have slipped off, the condom was put on me, I ensured to double check that the condom was put on correctly (the tip to let the air out was there) and I made sure of it, he lubed up the condom with KY and then I was ridden for about 8-10 minutes, he finished up and then slowly pulled himself off of me, I believe with it properly worn that I would have then pulled it off, because I finished up, and remember not worrying about it because I believe it had been completely safe. I examined the condom after and there was no damage or breakage, I expect to test negatively as well, but that is what happened, so I believe that the condom did NOT slip off, therefore I expect a negative test as well, hopefully that provides incite.
Thanks
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Kyle,
This forum is not here for you obsessively go over all the details of your latest sexual encounter. You used a condom. You did not have a risk. Get over it already.
It has been suggested to you here in the past that you seek counselling for your problems. I'm suggesting this to you again.
I'm also giving you a second time out to encourage you to get the face-to-face help you need. We cannot provide that type of support in this setting.
Your time out will last for 56 days this time. Do not attempt to create a new account to get around your time out because if you do, you will be permanently banned.
Ann
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Hello All,
It's been a while but I just wanted to post a very quick question which I probably already know the answer to..
Back about 3 weeks ago, I fooled around with someone I had in the past. Long story short, he briefly performed oral sex on me, and then I put a condom on, made sure it was on correctly with the air left at the tip and lots of water based lube.
However and this is probably my own stupid anxiety, He only lasted about 2-3 minutes before he came. I know he pulled off and I finished up myself..
I know the condom never broke, but in this case I'm fuzzy on if the condom slipped on or not, I asked him that night just to make sure and he said that yeah it stayed on. I'm 99.9% sure it would have stayed on.
1) Slippage is not an issue based on this correct?
2) Expect nothing but a negative test when I go again in 3 months?
Thanks again.
Kyle
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Hello All,
It's been a while but I just wanted to post a very quick question which I probably already know the answer to..
Back about 3 weeks ago, I fooled around with someone I had in the past. Long story short, he briefly performed oral sex on me, and then I put a condom on, made sure it was on correctly with the air left at the tip and lots of water based lube.
However and this is probably my own stupid anxiety, He only lasted about 2-3 minutes before he came. I know he pulled off and I finished up myself..
I know the condom never broke, but in this case I'm fuzzy on if the condom slipped on or not, I asked him that night just to make sure and he said that yeah it stayed on. I'm 99.9% sure it would have stayed on.
1) Slippage is not an issue based on this correct?
2) Expect nothing but a negative test when I go again in 3 months?
Thanks again.
Kyle
You never had a risk and don't need testing.
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And as you have been warned before, you need to be applying the information you have been given so many times to your ongoing sex life. ...instead of running here again with another "quick question" everytime you get it on with another guy.
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Hi All,
It's been a long time but I wanted to come back just to confirm something. I of course for any sexual encounters always use lots of water based lube and condoms, always play safe, but there's one particular encounter I keep replaying in my head for some reason and I wanted to get an assessment of what the actual risk may have been.
Back in December I had an encounter with a guy, We engaged in him performing oral sex on me, now I know that's not an HIV risk, no one ever got the virus from getting a blowjob. What I'm worried about is when I was laying on my back he climbed on top of me and we started making out, obviously my dick would have been near his ass, I'm pretty certain I moved it away on purpose but I'm not 100% certain if it maybe slightly penetrated him (or what's called dipping), it would not have fully penetrated him and it have been VERY brief because he moved into another position and he proceeded to perform oral on me again.
Having spoken with him after he says I didn't penetrate him, and I asked him his HIV Status to which he replied he is negative, I'm going to go get tested at the 13 Week in March (due for testing then anyways), would my risk be very small in this case?
Thanks.
Kyle
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Kyle,
If you had penetrated him, you wouldn't be guessing about it. You'd know. What you describe is frottage, and frottage isn't a risk.
Good to hear that you're going for a routine test soon - that's what you're supposed to be doing. Don't forget to get checked out for all the other, MUCH more easily transmitted STIs while you're there.
Ann
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Hi Everyone,
I didn't think I'd be back, I practice only safe sex, I get tested every six months or so but something happened yesterday I just want to clarify on just to be sure.
Yesterday, I hung out with a guy all we did was some mutual ejaculation which of course is not a risk, what I have questions about is when we were cuddling, we were both naked and I was lying behind him, he kept pulling my non-erect penis towards his anus which I was not comfortable with because I don't like to take any chances. There was possibly a split second where he may have pushed the top of my penis close or into his anus, but again, I wasn't erect, and it was only a split-second literally before I pulled away and told him I wasn't comfortable with that. I plan to go in for testing in 3 months (that's when i'm due to go), I just wanted to get my own risk assessment.
thanks,
Kyle
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Kyle,
If you had penetrated him, you wouldn't be guessing about it. You'd know. What you describe is frottage, and frottage isn't a risk.
Good to hear that you're going for a routine test soon - that's what you're supposed to be doing. Don't forget to get checked out for all the other, MUCH more easily transmitted STIs while you're there.
Ann
You questions have already been answered .
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I don't think I did but I'm not certain, if I had penetrated him even for a split-second would there still be a risk? I'm guessing this is a no-risk situation?
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Kyle,
This forum is not here for you obsessively go over all the details of your latest sexual encounter. You used a condom. You did not have a risk. Get over it already.
It has been suggested to you here in the past that you seek counselling for your problems. I'm suggesting this to you again.
I'm also giving you a second time out to encourage you to get the face-to-face help you need. We cannot provide that type of support in this setting.
Your time out will last for 56 days this time. Do not attempt to create a new account to get around your time out because if you do, you will be permanently banned.
Ann
I have quoted Ann once again . You have been given more opportunity's to learn the facts about HIV than any other poster I can remember and that ends now . You need to get some help for your HIV phobia , we cant help you . Im wishing you the best but Im going to have to ban you because you have had ample warning and continue to post the same questions that have already addressed .