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Author Topic: still worries about oral  (Read 12455 times)

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Offline p.toole

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still worries about oral
« on: November 20, 2007, 05:06:55 pm »
Just wanted to say thanks to all involved in this forum

My encounter included oral vaginal stimulation, i have good oral health but im worried about he mouthwash I used before and was wondering if it would make a differnce of the inegrety of my mouth or cause any inflamation. I also had a very dry mouth from being really nervous, so I doubt I had a lot of saliva in my mouth.  it was mostly outer (vaginal entry) stimulation and did not last longer than 2 or 3 mins. She also performed oral on me.

I had a lot of anxiety afterwards and pletty of symptoms, all could look just like ars with the exception of a fever wich I may have had for about 12 hours one day. It was really hot. nothing to miss any work over.

Most of the advice I have received tell me not to worry, especially about symptoms with an oral incounter.

My questions are , are there any other studies other than the one in spain involving one partner with hiv and one with out? Do they all have the same outcome?

Im I really worrying needlessly? can I just move on with my life. Or should I get tested for every oral incounter?

Offline Ann

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Re: still worries about oral
« Reply #1 on: November 20, 2007, 06:19:38 pm »
p,

Going down on a woman is not a risk for hiv infection.

Hiv transmission doesn't stand a chance of happening via female genitals to mouth - there are just too many obstacles on the oral route.

The first obstacle is the mouth itself. The mouth is a veritable fortress, standing against all sorts of pathogens we come into contact with every minute of our lives. It's a very hostile environment and saliva has been shown to contain over a dozen different proteins and enzymes that damage hiv.

Hiv is a very fragile virus - literally. Its outer surface doesn't take kindly to changes in its preferred environment; slight changes in temperature, moisture content and pH levels all damage the outer surface. Importantly, it needs this outer surface to be intact before it can latch onto a few, very specific cell types and infect. 

Which leads to the second obstacle. Hiv can only latch onto certain types of cells, cells which are not found in abundance in the mouth.

The third obstacle to transmission this way is having hiv present in the first place. The female secretion where hiv has been shown to be present is the cervicovaginal fluid. This fluid is actually a thick mucus that covers and protects the cervix.

The fluid a woman produces when sexually excited comes from the Bartholin's glands, located on either side of the vaginal opening. I have yet to discover one shred of evidence (and believe me, I've looked) that shows this lubricating fluid to have any more hiv present than other bodily secretions such as saliva, sweat or tears. Saliva, sweat and tears are NOT infectious fluids.

So there you have it. Once the results of the serodiscordant studies started rolling in, what we know about hiv transmission on the cellular level was validated. The only people who were getting infected were those who had unprotected anal or vaginal intercourse. Period. One of the three studies went on for ten years and involved hundreds of couples. That's a lot of nookie.

I hope you're still paying attention.

You need to be using condoms for anal or vaginal intercourse, every time, no exceptions until such time as you are in a securely monogamous relationship where you have both tested for ALL sexually transmitted infections together. To agree to have unprotected intercourse is to consent to the possibility of being infected with an STI. Sex with a condom lasts only a matter of minutes, but hiv is forever.

Have a look through all three condom and lube links in my signature line so you can use condoms with confidence.

While you do NOT need to test over every oral encounter, anyone who is sexually active should be having a full sexual health care check-up, including but not limited to hiv testing, at least once a year and more often if unprotected intercourse occurs.

If you aren't already having regular, routine check-ups, now is the time to start. As long as you make sure condoms are being used for intercourse, you can fully expect your routine hiv tests to return with negative results. Don't forget to always get checked for all the other sexually transmitted infections as well, because they are MUCH easier to transmit than hiv.

Use condoms for anal or vaginal intercoures, correctly and consistently, and you will avoid hiv infection.

Ann

PS - read the Transmission Lesson along with the forum posting guidelines in our Welcome Thread
« Last Edit: November 20, 2007, 06:21:09 pm by Ann »
Condoms are a girl's best friend

Condom and Lube Info  

"...health will finally be seen not as a blessing to be wished for, but as a human right to be fought for." Kofi Annan

Nymphomaniac: a woman as obsessed with sex as an average man. Mignon McLaughlin

HIV is certainly character-building. It's made me see all of the shallow things we cling to, like ego and vanity. Of course, I'd rather have a few more T-cells and a little less character. Randy Shilts

Offline p.toole

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Re: still worries about oral
« Reply #2 on: November 20, 2007, 06:27:15 pm »
Thanks Ann.
You are entirley confident in that? What about having a dry mouth? does it make any difference? Receiving a bj Is also no risk? I always use condoms for intercourse.
thank you for your reply

Offline Ann

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Re: still worries about oral
« Reply #3 on: November 20, 2007, 06:38:06 pm »
p,

Not one person has ever been infect through getting a blowjob and you won't be the first. Having a dry mouth is not going to make a big difference although let me give you a tip, it's nicer if the guy has a bit of spit, so drink some water for her sake.

It's great to hear you're using condoms for intercourse. Make sure you have a look at those links I mentioned - a correctly used condom rarely breaks. Don't forget to look after yourself with those regular check-ups I mentioned above and you'll be fine.

Ann
Condoms are a girl's best friend

Condom and Lube Info  

"...health will finally be seen not as a blessing to be wished for, but as a human right to be fought for." Kofi Annan

Nymphomaniac: a woman as obsessed with sex as an average man. Mignon McLaughlin

HIV is certainly character-building. It's made me see all of the shallow things we cling to, like ego and vanity. Of course, I'd rather have a few more T-cells and a little less character. Randy Shilts

Offline p.toole

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Re: still worries about oral
« Reply #4 on: November 20, 2007, 07:11:52 pm »
Thanks again Ann
I hope this isn't a personal question, But does your doctor, or the doctors of the other forum users feel the same way in regards to oral sex? Not a big difference? Can I still asume I do not need testing? I was tested just before this incedent. all clear.

Offline hivrisks

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Re: still worries about oral
« Reply #5 on: November 20, 2007, 10:44:45 pm »
You were never at risk and you DON'T need to test over this incident.

Offline p.toole

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Re: still worries about oral
« Reply #6 on: November 20, 2007, 11:16:04 pm »
Thats really cool and I appreciate your comment. But whats backing it up? One study from spain? a handful of doctors? Or is it the general consensus? Im sorry, its just scarry, Id feel better knowing that people with good doctors think the same way.

Offline p.toole

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Re: still worries about oral
« Reply #7 on: November 20, 2007, 11:51:31 pm »
OK LiveLifetoFullest, Has me prtty much terrified now!

Offline hivrisks

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Re: still worries about oral
« Reply #8 on: November 21, 2007, 01:06:34 am »
some doctors didn't update their HIV basic tranmission, and scare people.You should believe in Goderators as Ann, Andy,MTD,Rapid Rod, Brent...and move on with your life.Really
Unless You didn't have unprotected intercourse, U don't have to worry about HIV.Simple as that.

Offline hivrisks

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Re: still worries about oral
« Reply #9 on: November 21, 2007, 02:23:53 am »
oh, sorry, my wrong word.
As long as you didn't have unprotected intercourse , You don't have to worry about HIV.

Offline RapidRod

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Re: still worries about oral
« Reply #10 on: November 21, 2007, 03:59:23 am »
hivrisks, do not post in any other thread other than your own. Take the time to read  the  posting guidelines. 

Offline Ann

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Re: still worries about oral
« Reply #11 on: November 21, 2007, 06:19:36 am »
PT,

My hiv specialist has the same opinion of oral sex. I've just come out an eight year relationship with an hiv negative man. The ONLY precaution we took was condoms for intercourse and yes, we did engage in oral. He remained hiv negative for all those years.

Ann
Condoms are a girl's best friend

Condom and Lube Info  

"...health will finally be seen not as a blessing to be wished for, but as a human right to be fought for." Kofi Annan

Nymphomaniac: a woman as obsessed with sex as an average man. Mignon McLaughlin

HIV is certainly character-building. It's made me see all of the shallow things we cling to, like ego and vanity. Of course, I'd rather have a few more T-cells and a little less character. Randy Shilts

Offline p.toole

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Re: still worries about oral
« Reply #12 on: November 21, 2007, 12:56:01 pm »
Sorry to hear you are comming out of a relationship.
What about this LiveLifetoFullest guy. It seems like there are a few people comming through this forum who claim they got hiv through unprotected oral. But most of the advice given is its absolutly NO RISK. Is he lying? why would he?

Offline Andy Velez

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Re: still worries about oral
« Reply #13 on: November 21, 2007, 01:25:16 pm »
No, I don't think he's lyring. But it has often turned out in the past when details are carefully considered about a particular situation that initially not all the information was available.

If oral was the kind risk so many fear it is we would have had much clearer evidence of it long before this since it's one of the most common sexual acitivities.  And the longterm studies of discordant couples with not a single negative partner becoming infected has to be weighed in seriously in support of the non-risk position. 
Andy Velez

Offline p.toole

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Re: still worries about oral
« Reply #14 on: November 21, 2007, 03:31:19 pm »
Would you still give me the same advice?

Offline p.toole

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Re: still worries about oral
« Reply #15 on: November 21, 2007, 05:22:21 pm »
Do I have anything to worry about where hiv is concerned?

Offline Andy Velez

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Re: still worries about oral
« Reply #16 on: November 21, 2007, 10:05:55 pm »
No, you do not have any basis for further concern. The question is whether you will believe me or not and get on with your life. Which is what you ought to do.
Andy Velez

Offline p.toole

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Re: still worries about oral
« Reply #17 on: November 22, 2007, 02:08:45 am »
Gosh you know Andy. I appreciate your comments. espescailly so late, and that you would respond to me. thank you. Im soo scared. I dont know why. all of the advice I have received tells me not to worry, but I guess this week has been difficult for people more derserving people than me. But please just tell me I have no risk from performing oral sex on a woman and receeiving a bj. and then Im gone.Please It can't be that hard I guess ive herad it hear before, just do it for me

Offline p.toole

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Re: still worries about oral
« Reply #18 on: November 22, 2007, 02:32:27 am »
Soryry Andy you did already asnwer me!

Offline p.toole

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Frottage risk?
« Reply #19 on: August 19, 2009, 02:20:21 pm »
Hi There!
Thank you all for your wonderful advice and help on this forum.
I had an event a couple of months ago where i hooked up with an older lady (47). I am a male, been tested, no stds. There was no intercourse, she gave me a blow job, i fingered her. The thing I was worried about was for a couple of minutes she was on top of me genital to genital (frottage) rubbing on me. I never entered her but she was wet and my penis was sort of bumping in to just below her clitoris, and she was rubbing me pretty hard, at one point she went to put me inside of her with her hand and i said no, so ther was no penitration, and we moved on to other activities.
I was a little scared because i got a very mild flu about a month later, it had been going around, possible swine flu, just a mild fever 100.5 for about a day and 3 days later it was gone.
do i have anything to worry about?
thanks in advance

Offline RapidRod

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Re: Frottage risk?
« Reply #20 on: August 19, 2009, 02:37:16 pm »
Your questions will not be answered until you return to your original thread.

Offline p.toole

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Re: Frottage risk?
« Reply #21 on: August 19, 2009, 02:41:14 pm »
I had a different question maybe a year ago. I have to post this one there too?

Offline RapidRod

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Re: Frottage risk?
« Reply #22 on: August 19, 2009, 02:47:14 pm »
Read the posting guidelines of this forum. You can find them in the "Welcome" thread.

Offline p.toole

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Re: still worries about oral
« Reply #23 on: August 19, 2009, 02:52:23 pm »
Hi There!
Thank you all for your wonderful advice and help on this forum.
I had an event a couple of months ago where i hooked up with an older lady (47). I am a male, been tested, no stds. There was no intercourse, she gave me a blow job, i fingered her. The thing I was worried about was for a couple of minutes she was on top of me genital to genital (frottage) rubbing on me. I never entered her but she was wet and my penis was sort of bumping in to just below her clitoris, and she was rubbing me pretty hard, at one point she went to put me inside of her with her hand and i said no, so there was no penitration, and we moved on to other activities.
I was a little scared because i got a very mild flu about a month later, it had been going around, possible swine flu, just a mild fever 100.5 for about a day and 3 days later it was gone.
do i have anything to worry about?
thanks in advance

Offline RapidRod

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Re: still worries about oral
« Reply #24 on: August 19, 2009, 02:56:45 pm »
At no time were you at risk of contracting HIV from a blowjob, fingering or frottage.

Offline Andy Velez

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Re: still worries about oral
« Reply #25 on: August 19, 2009, 04:08:38 pm »
If this is the only incident you are concerned about, then you have nothing to be worried about as far as HIV is concerned. It is not transmitted in the manner you have reported, which is quite different from unprotected vaginal and anal intercourse -- which are the real risks for transmission.

There's no need for testing. If you have symptoms which continue to trouble you then discuss them with your doctor. This is not an HIV situation. Period.

Please keep all of your entries in this same thread. I've merged your latest with your previous thread. Thanks for your cooperation with our rule.
Andy Velez

Offline p.toole

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Re: still worries about oral
« Reply #26 on: August 19, 2009, 05:13:38 pm »
I have not had any other incedents, I was only worried about her fluids being rubbed into my urethra, no penitration, I think I would be able to tell. But she was rubbing me along her clitoris and just below it.

Offline Andy Velez

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Re: still worries about oral
« Reply #27 on: August 19, 2009, 06:02:34 pm »
Rubbing is not penetration and it is not a risk. Period. You are worrying needlessly.
Andy Velez

 


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