Scared to Death

[Foolish Fred]

Last weekend I went to a party and was drinking heavily. I met a man after a party and I performed oral on him. He was a complete stranger. It lasted for less than a minute and he didn't ejaculate in my mouth. I am in a relationship with a woman and I am terrified of giving her HIV. This was a fantasy I had and it got out of control and I deeply regret it. This was the first time this has happened and I'm scared to death. I haven't been able to sleep and I'm devastated. Is this considered a high risk encounter?

[megasept]

Your activity  was very low risk. -megasept

[Foolish Fred]

Does it make a difference that I deep throated him?

[Ann]

Foolish,

There have been long-term studies of couples where one is positive and one is negative. In the couples who used condoms for anal or vaginal intercourse, but no barrier for oral activities, not one of the negative partners became infected with hiv. Not one. This shows us two things. One, condoms are very effective for the prevention of hiv transmission. Two, oral sex is much lower risk than previously believed. We now have the evidence that oral sex is a very low risk activity where hiv transmission is concerned.

It's highly unlikely that you would become infected with hiv from less than a minute of having a penis in your mouth - without ejaculation - deep throat or no. However, you need to know that it is possible to get gonorrhea in your throat from giving head, and you may or may not have symptoms of oral gonorrhea, such as a sore throat.

You also need to know that hiv doesn't only result from man on man sexual activities. If you've been having unprotected anal or vaginal intercourse with anyone at any time in your life, then testing would be prudent.

You need to be using condoms for anal or vaginal intercourse, every time, no exceptions until such time as you are in a securely monogamous relationship where you have both tested for ALL STIs together. To agree to have unprotected intercourse is to consent to the possibility of being infected with a sexually transmitted infection.

Have a look through the condom and lube links in my signature line so you can use condoms with confidence.

While you do NOT need to test over this specific blowjob incident, anyone who is sexually active should be having a full sexual health care check-up, including but not limited to hiv testing, at least once a year and more often if unprotected intercourse occurs.

If you aren't already having regular, routine check-ups, now is the time to start. As long as you make sure condoms are being used for intercourse, you can fully expect your routine hiv tests to return with negative results. Don't forget to always get checked for all the other sexually transmitted infections as well, because they are MUCH easier to transmit than hiv.

Ann

[Foolish Fred]

Thank you for the detailed explanation.