Things Aren't Always As They Seem

[tednlou2]

Beginning last weekend, I began feeling just blah, for lack of a better word.  At least once a month, I get like that, and it lasts for a few days usually.  Even with good numbers, I suppose HIV must be getting the upper hand on the days when this happens.  It is strange, because I had been feeling pretty good right before this.  Over the weekend, it was very humid here.  We went out to dinner.  I was already not feeling well, and the heat and humidity made it much worse.  At dinner, I thought I was going to have to leave and go home.  I just didn't feel well at all.

Okay, on to the point.  Later that night, I happened to look inside my mouth in the mirror as I was washing my hands.  You'll see the pic below.  My heart just dropped when I saw what looked like thrush.  I could feel my blood pressure shoot up and heart rate increase.  I know it isn't the worst thing that can happen (we have members here dealing with some real serious shit), but it did take me aback.  I began wondering what does this mean?  I was trying to recall whether this can happen with higher CD4 counts?  Does this mean my CD4 has really dropped?  Is it really even thrush?  I thought thrush would be thicker, look more like cottage cheese, and not just be on the tongue.  I searched for pix of thrush online.  Ok, I need to call my doc first thing in the morning and see what to do.  What's the treatment?  Does this mean I need to start meds soon?  After all, I have been getting this recurring fungal thing in the crease of my arm--opposite side of the elbow.  But, that is nothing compared to something like shingles or some lung infection.  I'm sure I'm getting that fungal thing because I often have that arm closed, especially when sleeping, and the crease is a great place for moisture to hide out.  Knock wood, I've been in good health since getting really sick that time.  I'm actually getting a little chunky and have started an exercise routine.  But none of that could keep me from thinking the worse.  I began a new discussion with myself whether I should go ahead and start meds. 

It was the mint from the restaurant!!  I was embarrassed I freaked out so much.  But, I was feeling ill that day, so it is a little understandable.  I have actually come a long way in my fears about HIV.  I'll save the issues that remain for the Mental Health forum.  Just when ya think you're making much progress, something so silly can cause some to think something is more than it is. 

[tednlou2]

About that recurring fungal issue:  After I put a prescription anti-fungal cream on it, it hasn't come back.  It started to come back, but went away on its own.  In sunlight, I can still kinda see where it was.  So, I overstated it by saying recurring.  It was recurring until I finally treated it. 

[Matty the Damned]

About that recurring fungal issue:  After I put a prescription anti-fungal cream on it, it hasn't come back.  It started to come back, but went away on its own.  In sunlight, I can still kinda see where it was.  So, I overstated it by saying recurring.  It was recurring until I finally treated it. 

Looks like a blurry shot of Jupiter featuring the Great Red Spot.

MtD

[Theyer]

I don.t think it is silly, monitoring our bodies is a vital part off staying well. I understand that this,like most things can get out off hand , but see none off that from your post.

One off the things that I struggle with when ill is how it changes the behaviour off loved ones who are suddenly not telling me off there daily ups and downs because they feel it has nothing in comparison to blah blah blah its OK I tell them we get past it ,but if I did not it would only increase the isolation illness brings. Off course if they showed no compassion they would not be loved ones, and I would be well miffed. I swear if my brother had a limp cut off he would not mention it until I did.

This has rambled, if it makes sense good if not say and I will have another go.
mhtv

[mikeyb39]

Hi Ted,
yes that in you're mouth is Candida (Thrush).  my suggestion is go to you're doctor and get a prescription of diflucan and start taking that twice a day.   I had that same look on my tongue when i was going thru my sero-conversion sickness.  with the two little pills a day it cleared up in a few days.  Don't let it get worse though it can get really bad if unchecked, down your throat and stomach.

[skeebo1969]

   To be honest Theodore, my mouth has looked like that since I was 18, worse even.  If it settles your nerves you can have the doc check it out.   I've had thrush only once, but have seen it on my daughters twice and it usually seemed a somewhat thicker than that.

  

  Is that your elbow, or your booty?

[thunter34]

Teddy,

I mean no offense by this, but seriously:  You need to go talk to a therapist, man.  This seems to be yet another in an endless series of posts about physical ailments that probably boil down almost entirely to depression issues.  And yeah...I support posts in the Mental Health forum (which, in hindsight, seems to be where this thread probably most deserves to be rather than in LW), but I still think there is no complete substitute for one on one counseling.

And you really need it, man.  I'm sorry if this comes off as harsh.  I'm just not in a good space myself today, I don't suppose.  It's just...we've got some really beloved people on here dealing with some serious shit - and here you are carrying on about feeling "blah" and getting scared by a fuckin' peppermint.

I mean really, man.

[Joe K]

It was the mint from the restaurant!!  I was embarrassed I freaked out so much.  But, I was feeling ill that day, so it is a little understandable.  I have actually come a long way in my fears about HIV.  I'll save the issues that remain for the Mental Health forum.  Just when ya think you're making much progress, something so silly can cause some to think something is more than it is. 

Apparently not too embarrassed, otherwise why would you post such nonsense. Thinking that a mint has caused Thrush and that you may need to start ARVs is in no way normal nor healthy. You really need to do something about this unhealthy phobia that you seem to have regarding being poz.  Not only is it unhealthy for you to think this way, it's very irritating to those of us who have real medical issues.

[woodshere]

But, I was feeling ill that day, so it is a little understandable.  

Not really.

Every body issue we have isn't HIV related.  When I have a pity party my mom always tells me there is someone worse off than you.  You have got to keep things in perspective, HIV is working against you now and all this fretting isn't helping.  So what if you have to start meds there are far worse off things to contend with.  This week thousands have lost everything they have due to tornadoes, hundreds of family members are dealing with the sudden death of a loved one and just today a dear forum member posted that he has liver cancer.  How on earth could you ever deal with those types of situations if you freak out over a breath mint incident??

[Buckmark]

You know, Ted, if this were just an isolated incident, we could all just laugh it off.  But your pattern of worrying about symptoms and illnesses and ascribing them all to HIV is, as Joe says, not normal.  At best it becomes a time-waster, at worst it is insulting to those here who are dealing with serious health issues.  You seem so worried about and unable to deal with being poz.   Some counseling could help you believe that you can deal with it, and that you'll be just fine.

Regards,

Henry

[Joe K]

After reading the latest update on Captain Carl, I find this thread beyond offensive. Get a fucking grip.

[Miss Philicia]

Agreed

[hopefully1]

 after reading the responses to this thread, i now have my answer to the question-'why aren't more people posting here given the sheer number of guest readers...' now i know.......i have great respect for those of you who are lucky enough to be long termers, and i have great empathy for folks who have what can sometimes be classified as 'unreasonable fears'..... but isn't that what these forums are all about? i know i am new here, and i am relatively new to being poz, but damn, do these responses mean none of you was ever 'unreasonably' frightened by the smallest thing? or have you been bulletproof for so long that you can no longer remember feeling scared? i agree, a dose of diflucan if warranted will clear it up-i had to do that myself, and it was very hard to eat anything......so what if it is nothing to worry about-the OP's question and concern is valid if for no other reason than he is poz......again, that is the point of these forums, yes? or am i just an idiot for thinking so? folks like myself and even the OP are looking for guidance and suggestion, not ridicule or bullshit......or maybe i am overstepping here, but i know i am not-just an observation from a newbie who still stays in contact with his heart.........................

[bmancanfly]

After reading the latest update on Captain Carl, I find this thread beyond offensive. Get a fucking grip.

I find this post offensive.  You're out of line

Why don't you let us know what the posting parameters are for asking a question about one's own health.

[thunter34]

after reading the responses to this thread, i now have my answer to the question-'why aren't more people posting here given the sheer number of guest readers...' now i know.......i have great respect for those of you who are lucky enough to be long termers, and i have great empathy for folks who have what can sometimes be classified as 'unreasonable fears'..... but isn't that what these forums are all about? i know i am new here, and i am relatively new to being poz, but damn, do these responses mean none of you was ever 'unreasonably' frightened by the smallest thing? or have you been bulletproof for so long that you can no longer remember feeling scared? i agree, a dose of diflucan if warranted will clear it up-i had to do that myself, and it was very hard to eat anything......so what if it is nothing to worry about-the OP's question and concern is valid if for no other reason than he is poz......again, that is the point of these forums, yes? or am i just an idiot for thinking so? folks like myself and even the OP are looking for guidance and suggestion, not ridicule or bullshit......or maybe i am overstepping here, but i know i am not-just an observation from a newbie who still stays in contact with his heart.........................

The posts in this thread are entirely justified, and based on the context of a posting history.

And Diflucan is completely unnecessary because the culprit isn't thrush...it's the residue of a peppermint.

This is a matter of telling people what they need to hear - not necessarily what they want to hear.

I'm still very much in contact with my heart.  That's my entire reason for posting.

[phildinftlaudy]

hopefully -
I understand the thoughts and expression of opinion in your posts.  I guess I would say that you would have a better idea of where the responses in this thread are coming from if you go back and look at the history of the OPs posts in these forums.  This is a pretty consistent pattern.  If you don't believe me - let his posts speak for themselves.  That is why he is getting the type of response he is getting.  Add to that the fact that some of us members on here heard some extremely upsetting news today about a fellow member   - who is actually experiencing an actual health crisis - so, there probably isn't a lot of tolerance for someone thinking that peppermint chunks on their tongue is thrush and/or something similar to the apocalypse occurring (which, as already stated, seems to be almost standard course for the OP).  

Hope this assists in providing better perspective on the situation.

-Phil

after reading the responses to this thread, i now have my answer to the question-'why aren't more people posting here given the sheer number of guest readers...' now i know.......i have great respect for those of you who are lucky enough to be long termers, and i have great empathy for folks who have what can sometimes be classified as 'unreasonable fears'..... but isn't that what these forums are all about? i know i am new here, and i am relatively new to being poz, but damn, do these responses mean none of you was ever 'unreasonably' frightened by the smallest thing? or have you been bulletproof for so long that you can no longer remember feeling scared? i agree, a dose of diflucan if warranted will clear it up-i had to do that myself, and it was very hard to eat anything......so what if it is nothing to worry about-the OP's question and concern is valid if for no other reason than he is poz......again, that is the point of these forums, yes? or am i just an idiot for thinking so? folks like myself and even the OP are looking for guidance and suggestion, not ridicule or bullshit......or maybe i am overstepping here, but i know i am not-just an observation from a newbie who still stays in contact with his heart.........................

[Miss Philicia]

bmancanfly and hopefully should invest a few hours reading tedderz's +2,000 posts before chirping in about his peppermint mint-induced thrush scare. Context is everything here.

[phildinftlaudy]

I find this post offensive.  You're out of line

Why don't you let us know what the posting parameters are for asking a question about one's own health.

Go back and read his post -

It was a fucking peppermint on his tongue - since when is that a question related to health?  Unless of course he chokes on the peppermint or has an allergic fucking reaction to it.

Post that you notice some inflammation on your toe and see how quickly the OP of this thread will discount what is going on with you and go into a diatribe that his toe has been bothering him and that maybe it means this or this - or, God forbid, this.......    

Read his posting history and you might have a better grip on why he is getting the responses he's getting -

Maybe that is a parameter you might get ----- to have a better frame of reference as to why people are responding the way they are before you comment ---  if you did, you would see that your comment is the one that is out of line.

[thunter34]

bmancanfly and hopefully should invest a few hours reading tedderz's +2,000 posts before chirping in about his peppermint mint-induced thrush scare. Context is everything here.

Indeed.  Things aren't always what they seem.

[bmancanfly]

I have

And I would never tell someone here to "get a fucking grip',  however trivial I thought someones concerns are.

I'm not disputing the serverity of his affliction,  or lack thereof.

And i still think,  regardless of the context,  that it's out of line.

[hopefully1]

fair enough, and i understand what is being said and the reasons for it, i just don't fully understand the reasons behind attacking someone.......wouldn't that energy be better put to use in some other way? or just ignore the OP altogether? either way, my prayers and good vibes go out to all, capt carl as well as breathe mint guy-though perhaps not in equal shares-

[phildinftlaudy]

I have

And I would never tell someone here to "get a fucking grip',  however trivial I thought someones concerns are.

I'm not disputing the serverity of his affliction,  or lack thereof.

And i still think,  regardless of the context,  that it's out of line.

Well, that's good to hear, the fact that you "still think....that it's out of line"  gives me a better context of where to file your opinions...

::  proceeds to flush toilet

[bmancanfly]

Well, that's good to hear, the fact that you "still think....that it's out of line"  gives me a better context of where to file your opinions...

::  proceeds to flush toilet

Yes,  telling someone who,  it has been widely suggested,  may have mental health issues to "get a fucking grip" is a bad idea IMHO.  

And Phil,  I'm not gonna lower myself to your level of pettiness.  Best wishes.

[MarcoPoz]

Damn--what a bunch of weak-azzed excuses for bad behavior.  An ad hominem attack is never justified and is always wrong, no matter the situation.

[phildinftlaudy]

And Phil,  I'm not gonna lower myself to your level of pettiness.  Best wishes.

Thank you ---
:: continues to flush toilet

[phildinftlaudy]

Damn--what a bunch of weak-azzed excuses for bad behavior.  An ad hominem attack is never justified and is always wrong, no matter the situation.

:: proceeds to call plumber to fix toilet, which by now is getting plugged up

[Joe K]

I find this post offensive.  You're out of line

Why don't you let us know what the posting parameters are for asking a question about one's own health.

There are no parameters for asking a questions about your health, but that is not what the OP asked. He decided that mint residue was Thrush, as did other readers, without reading the part about it all being caused by a mint. My comment centered on the absurd nature of the query, which has nothing to do with much of anything.

Also, as someone who suffers greatly from mental illness, sometimes it takes a good slap upside the head to get some people to listen. What Teddy is doing is not healthy for him and if it takes a few strong posts, for him to hear our message, then so be it.

Don't confuse "tough love" as indicating lack of love.

[thunter34]

I hope the people I care about here never shy away from telling me to get a grip when I really need to hear it.

I'm counting on it.

[Jeff G]

Don't confuse "tough love" as indicating lack of love.

Exactly ... And this is a much needed smack of love upside the head .

[MarcoPoz]

:: proceeds to call plumber to fix toilet, which by now is getting plugged up

Phil--Fuck you.  See THAT was clear, direct and to the point.  Who the hell are you anyway?  And where do you get off expecting to be treated like some fucking expert or HIV guru?

Again, fuck you.

[phildinftlaudy]

I also believe that ted has been around here long enough to know that were he having an actual health crisis or issue he would have plenty of support.  By continually attributing everything to HIV or to thinking over-reacting to issues or making non-health issues into health issues, it could potentially cause an actual health concern to be overlooked or not addressed as serious by members who want to be supportive because of the OPs past history of similar posts and unwarranted concerns.

[phildinftlaudy]

Phil--Fuck you.  See THAT was clear, direct and to the point.  Who the hell are you anyway?  And where do you get off expecting to be treated like some fucking expert or HIV guru?

Again, fuck you.

Reported.

[thunter34]

I also believe that ted has been around here long enough to know that were he having an actual health crisis or issue he would have plenty of support.  By continually attributing everything to HIV or to thinking over-reacting to issues or making non-health issues into health issues, it could potentially cause an actual health concern to be overlooked or not addressed as serious by members who want to be supportive because of the OPs past history of similar posts and unwarranted concerns.

And most of the so-called "attacks" here have been exactly that:  pleas that the OP address the real  issue he has that he keeps perpetually dodging.

[Joe K]

Please don't do this, not here in this thread.  Teddy needs our support here and bickering adds nothing.

[MarcoPoz]

From what I read here, people are very upset about what Capt. Carl is going through--and rightly so.  However using their emotional state to brow beat another member here --on a completely unrelated thread--THEN once called out on it, run to a million and one lame-assed excuses for why they were doing it for his own good--is just pure and simple bullshit.

Living with HIV means that sometimes you have to be able to grieve , be pissed off, give love, and set aside your own drama--ALL at the same time.

And--no--I don't care if this twists someone's panties into a knot--they'll get over it--just like I'll get over the flaming I'll take for what I say here.  

[Ann]

Enough with the back and forth attacks. You're all warned - each and every last one of you.

Ted, I hope you get yourself into therapy. Your constant obsessing over your health is doing you no good whatsoever.

I'm locking this thread. It's going nowhere fast.

Ann

[Andy Velez]

You beat me to it, Ann.

Sheeeeeez. And don't anyone make the mistake of starting a kindred thread.