I'm a crybaby too!

[Longislander]

Today I went in to have labs drawn. I was a bit anxious about it as the #'s took a turn for the worse in December and and I have no faith in anything better this time. I may be starting meds soon, and todays a special day for me and I realized last nite before bed that it sucks to have to be doing this today. I'm doing quite well, mentally, dealing with my HIV. It's just as these labs creeped up on me, I starting getting anxious.

Full physical day ( according to the doc's). BP 110/70,lost 5 lbs since Dec's visit ( I say 9, but who's counting). Even though the prior results were negative they didn't have as many cells as they would like, so they did an anal pap smear/HPV test again. ( I think the PA just wanted to see my ass, she's new there )

I got the last of my Hep A and Hep B shots (hopefully they take and they really are the last ones)! I was there for an hour, seen by the phlebotomist( a doc in his own country) , the PA , and then both the PA and the DOC. I felt really cared for....

As I watch Wesley's story unfold, I went in knowing to ask for a geno/pheno test. When I asked the PA, she told me they already did a genotyping/virtual phenotyping when I first went there last summer. I never knew this. She showed me the results. And I cried like a little baby for a minute, and couldn't even speak til I straightened myself out. All the results showed "no evidence of resistance".

I cried out of a sense of relief. I know where I'm headed and I'm so relieved that I can start with Atripla when the time comes. My doc told me she recommends I just start now, and asked me if I thought that being on meds would mean to me that I was losing the battle, in a worse position, etc. I said no, I don't want to start meds because I don't know my reaction to them. I don't want to have to leave my desk often ( I can't , actually) or go to work in a fog, and have everyone at work wonder what the hell is wrong with me. But I also told her I'm not waiting til I dip to 200's, and if these labs come back worse , I will start. She explained about taking them regulrly so as not to build resistance, and I told her I know all about it from AIDSMEDS. She told me there are new better meds coming down the pike, and I told her I'd rather stay level and wait for them!! !lol

In 5 days, like clockwork, my doc will call and leave a message on my cellphone, and I will call her back. Then I'll know where I'm standing~

[Life]

Oh sweetie... Im just going to hug the shit out of you for making me cry...  You know your not alone in this..

Love,

[skeebo1969]

  Hey man just do your best to relax through this and not cause yourself any undue stress.  You and I have discussed my own situation and how it all worked out even with all the worry I brought on myself.  Long...  I think you will be suprised with this Atripla thing much like I was, atleast I hope so.   Just be sure to start the meds on a Friday during your weekend off.  Hell take Monday off if you need to.  

  Remember to take it on an empty stomach and do not eat anything after...  LOL That will probably be the most difficult thing for you Long.  I know how you like to eat late and plenty.  

  If you need to talk you have my number..

  (((HUGS)))

  Thomas

[thirtysomething]

Hey buddy,

Sorry to hear that you might have to start meds soon, but at the same time glad to hear that you are not resistant to any drugs!

You never know, maybe your numbers this time are better than what they were in your last test and you might be able to keep away meds for few more months/years?

[RAB]

Hey Buddy

I understand completely the anxiety of waiting for the next set of labs.  And your post in no way makes you a "crybaby too".

Based upon your lab history, there doesn't appear to be any meaningful trend in your numbers.  You are essentially where you were more than a year ago.  And let me remind you that you are still very early into this process. 

The best advice I could give you is this:  you don't need to win every battle, your goal is to win the war.

Continue to arm yourself with information.  Continue to express yourself and recognize the challenges.  But don't ever, for one minute, assume that your human reactions make you a crybaby.  There is power in the way you are facing this challenge. 

So, while I completely understand the anxiety (LORD DON'T WE ALL UNDERSTAND THE ANXIETY), my advice is to not assume anything. 

Take a deep breath my friend.  Try not to stress out (like that is possible-- ), and let's wait to see where you are in 5 days.
 


RAB

[ndrew]

Hello,

Sorry to hear about your numbers.  Keep us posted!

Drew

[Andy Velez]

LI, thanks for the thorough report on where things are at.

Along with your concerns I couldn't help appreciating that you have a doctor who actually sat down and talked with you in a sensitive and responsive way. At least that's how it came across to me. It sounds like she's really paying attention and appreciates what a challenging time this is for you.

We'll keep our fingers crossed that your new set of numbers are what you want them to be.

I didn't see anything "cry baby" in what you wrote. Just someone trying to get through the best you can and doing pretty well at that from what I could tell. 

Cheers,

[Ihavehope]

Hey cutie,

It's ok to be a cry baby, I am the biggest one in NYC but I bet you will do fabulous on Atripla. I know 2 people who are on Atripla and they all are doing well and their counts are improving.

I think you may have read my threads and how scared I was about the meds and my lab results were bad, etc. Things are slowly getting better and hopefully so will my counts. Keep your mind busy as much as you can these few days and eat healthy. Please keep us posted cutie.

Al

[poet]

Well I was glad to see that the 'crybaby' was crying out of relief.   There is a new thread on starting meds at 350 and the logic behind it for you to read if you  haven't done so already.  I am glad that you got over the genotype questions so that when you are ready, you have the drug you like and, from countless posts here, have the pros and cons with it, possible side effects, etc.  Keep us posted as usual.  Best, Win

[aztecan]

Hey LI,
Sounds like you have things well in hand, so cry if you want to. I am very happy to hear about your not having resistence to anything.

YIPPEE!

Now, I fully understand why someone would want to see your backside. Enjoy it while it lasts, nobody wants to see mine these days. 

Which reminds me, I may have to have a genotype done one of these days, if my meds are starting to fail, that is.

I've never had one, so it will be interesting to see, that is, if I need to.

Hang in there and take a deep breath. You are doing great.

HUGS,

Mark

[Longislander]

Thanks everyone for your replies. Sometimes this place just makes me smile

[skeebo1969]

Thanks everyone for your replies. Sometimes this place just makes me smile

  You can admit it you big sap .  It's me right?

[Longislander]

You can admit it you big sap .  It's me right?

It's always you, buddy