POZ Community Forums
Main Forums => Living With HIV => Topic started by: Val on April 09, 2007, 10:35:29 am
-
I am leaving it for good, actually. I have reached this decision with another good friend of mine from these wonderful message boards. And if you care to read any further, he are the reasons. Sorry, here is "the" reason! And I have come to this decision after an e-mail I got yesterday, and a phone call this morning...
These forums, put together by Mr. Staley and managed so graciously and effectively by the moderators, are a wonderful tool for all folks leaving with this dread disease. However, in the past I have noticed a little bit of human suffering and was perplex. Today, the suffering that goes on here on a daily basis, and due to a bunch of individuals (they are always the same ones), has become unbearable to the person that I am. So, I made up my mind that I have had enough of the games they play i.e. Netiquette, among others (Netiquette consists of insulting, making fun and denigrating people through all kinds of polite and hidden, "snarky remarks") (Mr. Staley's quote).
How does a person plays safely all these demoniac games, hurting people all along and gets away with it? Very simple: first, English is their native tongue. They will correct people online of the mistakes made and will bully them until the person gives up. This, by the way, is also valid if the person being stalked has only some rudimentary notions of acceptable English, despite of the fact that English may indeed be his/her native language!
I will post the names of the people that have hurt other people here on purpose --- and perhaps not on purpose. Actually, I could include my name first! I will not make a big fuss of it, though. The purpose of my doing it really is with the hope that they will realize that, with their wicked ways, their are indeed spreading evil and hurting other folks infected with the same virus. Folks, of course, who are already suffering from the stigma, discrimination and the rejection that HIV imposes on them.
I will also post a thread that will tell it all. The stalking and/or bullying and the "snarky remarks" by the same individuals over and over again. Besides, I have to mention the fact that it was after this thread that, for reasons that I am guessing, I started receiving e-mails, phone calls and PMs from people telling me their stories! And I was appalled!
As I mentioned in another thread, I cannot stand the suffering of animals in general. I do my part as far as the dolphins and whales are concerned. I also mentioned somewhere else that I am more than wealthy, have been married for more than 23 years, and come to these forums to offer confort, help and assistance. If you are part of the clique that I am about to denounce, though, you may say that my gesture here can qualify as "drama"...!
Now, would it be fare for me (and after all that I told you, reader) to just sit down, cross my arms and enjoy my beautiful, wealthy and comfortable life? Those who know me can attest it! No, I cannot behave this way! And, most of all, I cannot stand human suffering! And that's why I have decided to not take part of these forums anymore. I hope, however, that the fact that I am taking the time to type all this will be worth it, and make the following people reflect on their actions in these forums:
1 - Matty.the.Damned
He is to be placed on a pedestal and hors concours for spreading evil manners, "snarky remarks" and hurting people throughout the globe (this site is followed by many nationalities). And let me make something clear to Matty before I forget: "I really don't have anything against him, and don't hold any grudges against his person. What I condemn, abhorre and find utterly repugnant is his attitude." He has hurt several people in these forums, including me. He has made a very good friend of mine cry for a whole night and I will always remember that.
2 - ACinKC
Here is a guy who must have a good soul, but is indeed just passing through this planet as a poor, allienated being. He is always trying to fit in and and being "cool" and, with his doubtful words, hurts people with his words and pictures more than he can imagine. He has hurt some of my best friends in this site, including me. If there was one advice that I could give him in order to be cool and, therefore, to fit in, is to move out of Kansas! Can't do it otherwise, sorry!
3 - Jonathan
He is someone that is always "dying", but always finds a little time to send his wrath through some his posts. He has done it to at least three people that I know. The last one, I still have to attempt to forgive him for it, 'cause I don't think John (I'll call him John for the sake of privacy) will ever come back to these forums, and this, according to one of the e-mails he has sent me some time ago. I would not go as far as to say that John hates him, but it is close to that disgraceful feeling that Jonathan himself entertains in his heart for other people in these forums.
His tactics are very simple and as cynical as the character himself: "He plays the dying victim on disability and so on...!" So much so that whatever you say against him, he will use against you!
Here is, finally, "the" guy that will perhaps die from this disease, but he won't do it alone! He'll drag you along if by any chance you happen to be in disaccord with him...! Be warned, dear reader and especially newbies.
4 - Lis
Same thing here! She's always on the verge of a breakdown, always ready to die... And always ready to make other people die with her. She is, by the way, the only female member of the clique. At least the only one I know of! Watch out if ever you wanna offer a word of comfort and help her! She will turn anything she possibly can against you -- and will hurt you, for sure!
5 - Daschhund
You better be "a man" with this guy, I tell you. You won't be able to address himself with the feminine pronoun even though he, himself, uses it all the time! Actually, the word he uses to describe himself says it all: "Auntie". I was about to change my mind about him when he posted a message on the "People are mean" thread. And I did! Actually, I have sent him a PM about that! However, he has happily also contributed to put downs of some people in this site.
In fact, if one looks close to the thread that I am about to post, that person will realize that what we are talking about here is nothing more, nothing less than a Jewish clique! It is just like a Jewish lobby, if you see what I mean. They are indeed all Jews -- or, at least the majority of them! The only mistake they made this time, though, is that they turned themselves against another Jew!
The thread
http://forums.poz.com/index.php?topic=9884.0
So, I leave the site including my name in the list above, since some of the folks that I trust in these forums told me that I do "upset" people -- from the clique, of course -- with some of my posts. And it would not be fair for me to ask them for something that I am doing myself! One of the members (Dingoboi) actually accused me of forming a clique as well. And even though I refuted his argument by giving him the true definition of a clique, I think he got a point in there! He has to keep in mind, though, that a clique is something formed with the purpose of intriguing and hurting people. And "that" was not my intention. Ever!
I stand up for everything that I affirmed through all of my posts and all the other features of these message boards. I am not a superman and when angered will say whatever comes first. For that, of course, and be it through posts and/or PMs, I am sorry if by any chance I have indeed hurt someone.
I do not recall addressing anyone with disappropriate remarks and name calling. If that happened, it was during a moment of despair and rage. And usually through PMs anyway. I really don't remember having hurt anyone here on line...
The folks who have my e-mail know how to find me. I'll be honoured to be their buddy and/or friend. I will also check in from time to time to see what's going on, but I will not participate in anything anymore -- at least not until I realize that people are not suffering anymore.
Val
___
___
-
Maybe you would prefer a more Vichy type of forum? Hopefully you can understand this and I say it with comple sincerety.
BON VOYAGE
-
Damn! This reads like a Who's Who of some of my bestest buddies on here. Kinda miffed that I didn't make the list, especially since I am known to be the "blind loyalist" of JK and all. That shoulda counted for something....
Phooey.
EDITED TO SAY: "All Jews! A Jewish lobby!" WTF?
-
Damn! This reads like a Who's Who of my bestest buddies on here. Kinda miffed that I didn't make the list, especially since I am known to be the "blind loyalist" of JK. That shoulda counted for something....
Phooey.
You're not Jewish...come to think of it neither am I.
-
You're not Jewish...come to think of it neither am I.
I think most Jewish guys are hot, though. Again, that should count for something.
-
This is beyond silly and a Jewish conspiracy? Who the heck does he think he is coming up with nonsense like this....American?
I guess no whales washed up on the shores of the Seine today.
Uncle Doxie
-
Well, Let me say im honored to be #2.
I shall begin with the definition of clique:
–noun 1. a small, exclusive group of people; coterie; set.
–verb (used without object) 2. Informal. to form, or associate in, a clique.
There are a number of these on this board. Usually groups of like minded people. Whether that like-mindedness is because of sense of humor, struggles with living with this disease, nationality, gender or what ever, people tend to congregate to those most like them. Invariably in such a public place you are going to have that occur, it occurs in cities and countries naturally and un-naturally. It is human nature.
For some of the "cliques" to disagree or not like each other is also to be expected. I don't agree with 100% of the people on here all the time and some of them I NEVER agree with. I also don't expect everyone to be like me or get me. I am a very outspoken, humorous (in my own style which may not be YOUR style but it is others), intelligent, compassionate person. I am comfortable being who I am, and realize it does rub people the wrong way sometimes. I dont apologize for this, it is who I am and it is what makes me "ME".
I DO try to empathize with most of those who dislike me, as I try to understand where your coming from. I can't change who I am and won't change who I am. If I step out of line and indeed I do sometimes I will be the first to apologize for doing so.
I am not sure how I really feel about being called out without any prior communication from you Val. I originally was like "SWEET! I'm part of the so-called clique! AND i'm NUMBER 2 on the list!" I'm not pissed off about it. I don't consider you childish or anything for posting what you posted. I guess i'm truly ambivelant about it. Which may not necessarily be true based on the length of this response, guess Im still sorting that out.
Here's what I do know. I've gotten the same types of emails you have gotten in support of those with minds and personalities like mine. They dont give me the right to come on here and call out all of those we feel are diametrically opposed to how we view life. We all get emails like that Val, they arent anything special to be held up as evidence of a subversive group out to get all those that disagree with them. Most of our snide remarks are made to each other. We tend to keep the harshest words for the ones we hold closest.
I dont know why your wealth or stable marriage has anything to do with what you posted. Or why the fact you dont like the clubbing of baby seals is of any importance as far as calling us out goes. This will only constitute as "DRAMA" if you don't followow through with what you have said, and actually come back to the site. Then it's all just drama.
Speaking directly to the words about me now:
While I have my issues, I dont feel poor or alienated. I do get that my personality tends to keep people at arms length which is where I like most people. I dont quite know what you mean by doubtful words. My pictures are for humor and my humor isnt for everyone. Not sure which ones I have posted that could be construed as insulting or hurtful to people, but I have been proven wrong before. I've been to France, you have NO business giving out advice on how to be cool, but thanks. If I have hurt you, you havent said so. But again, thank you for the honor of #2!
I'll let the others speak for what you have written about them. And yet others speak about your Jewish-Conspiracy theory.
Andrew
#2 On Val's In-Crowd List
-
And just when I thought sure that blog thing the other day would have catapulted me into the sacred realm....
Phooey.
I'll bet SDGirl and philly will be miffed to see they didn't make it either.
This thread deserves something like a Mel Gibson Award.
-
Val, you've had your say. You've named your names and you've also repeated the kind critical generalities which in the past have never generated anything good in the Forums.
Although the responses so far have been fairly restrained, I'm still going to lock this thread before it goes any further. To all those who have been specifically named, I know it can be frustrating to not be able to respond when criticized. I just think it's best to call a halt here now before things go any further down this path.
I just don't think any good will come of leaving this thread open.
And Val, I don't expect you to understand my action or that I am saying you have repeatedly been inflammatory any number of times your remarks.
Whether you get that or not about what I will call your "archness," and whether you choose to return or not, I am giving you a one week time out.
-
Actually Val, I realized two things. You've already had one time one so a second would be for 30 days.
But in reconsidering the whole matter, anti-Semitic remarks such as you have made are simply totally unacceptable here.
Perhaps you can find another site which better suits your needs. In any case I am banning you from this one.
-
I love it when someone makes it very easy on the moderators. No hard judgement call this time!
Bye, bye, Val. Don't let the door hit you on the way out.
You've been banned for good.
Peter