POZ Community Forums
Main Forums => Living With HIV => Topic started by: David_CA on November 08, 2006, 10:47:14 am
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My ex went through a stage where she had panic attacks fairly often. They were generally triggered by claustrophobia from being in the back seat of a 2-door car. Then, any car would trigger them. She was put on Prozac, which really helped. I found that if I could distract her completely from the attack, it would pretty much stop almost immediately. I'd never had anxiety or panic attacks and didn't really understand how intense they can be.
That was the early 90's. Fast-forward to 2006. I got my HIV+ diagnosis and was generally ok, stunned, but not weirded out about it. I did start to have odd symptoms of being out of breath and feeling like something was squeezing my chest and making it hard for me to breathe. I mentioned this to my Dr who said it sounded like panic attacks. He gave me 20mg of Prozac and 1mg of Ativan (only 30 for a 90 day period, though). Soon after starting the Prozac, the panic attacks / anxiety subsided. After a while longer, I started feeling really good. I would wake up and be in a great mood; not much bothered me. I was almost too happy, if that's possible. It was like an all-day runner's high.
About a month ago, I caught a cold. I felt a bit weak and coughed a bit. It got so that when I would cough, I felt like something was choking me, like I couldn't get enough oxygen. I almost fantasized about one of those oxygen masks that drop down from planes when it loses pressure. I honestly felt like I was dying. Before it got this intense, I would get disoriented, similar to when you hold your breath too long. I'd get hot, my blood pressure and heart rate go up, and I start shaking. Then, I'd start hyperventilating. Eventually, I'd tell myself that if I did pass out from this, at least I'd breathe normally when I was unconscious! After the episode, I'd get cold, like chills from a fever and be weak. What's also odd is that I've started having them when I'm asleep, too. These aren't nearly as common, but require me to get up and walk around the house coughing.
These panic attacks started with about 1-2 per day and now are up to maybe 10 per day. Nothing in particular seems to trigger them. I can be walking across the yard and have one. I can be standing in the kitchen and feel one coming on.
My Dr told me to double the Prozac and see how that helps. I'm almost through my Ativan, although I'll only take one per day max. Sometimes I'll split those tiny pills into 0.5mg so make them last longer. When I feel one coming on, I can sometimes take deep breathes, close my eyes, and think of peaceful or fun things. If I don't catch it early enough, I have to deal with the whole thing.
What have those of you who've suffered from panic attacks found to help? I'd like to know what drugs, activities, or situations help prevent them. These are very upsetting and uncomfortable to me and will be very embarrassing when one happens in public. So far, I've just told people that I've got a bad sinus infection / cold. Thanks for any input, thoughts, or suggestions. I've GOT to find an end to these panic attacks.
David
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My ex used to have them right like you. I can give you a few suggestions that helped him..... get yourself some word searches or anything you may enjoy to do with free time... it takes your mind off of what is going on sometimes !! It also seemed to help if you have someone with you at the time to have them rub your back of arm... this seems to help take the attention off your mind and to the part of your body that is being touched. It also helped a close friend of mine that had them as well. And he also took xanax for them twice a day .5 mg . And if he felt one coming on he would take a pill. Hope thats some help. I hate to hear anyone suffering from them I know it sucks !! Best wishes
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David, it's very scary and you feel vulnerable when you find yourself wondering and worrying if another attack is going to come on. I know others have talked about them here from time to time so I expect you will get some responses that may help. At least you will know you're not alone, which is how it can feel when it happens.
Along with whatever pharmaceuticals you've tried, what about seeing a therapist and discussing this? I get that there seems to be no immediate rhyme or reason connected to why they come on. If you can just let your mind free associate about them, maybe even keep a "panic journal," you might begin to get some clues. Don't worry about having to "make sense" of the thoughts.
Often the mind comes up with seemingly unrelated associations to a problem that can end up being useful. Rather than focusing on the fear and desparately hoping it won't happen again, if you can get interested in what happens and talking about it openly, that can be the beginning of some mastery of the situation. Work on being as gentle with yourself as possible rather than thinking there's "something wrong with you" that you have to FIX, and in a hurry.
I've found that's often the best path for learning and for change.
Keep talking about this. Bringing this up openly is a good move on your part.
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From Andy........
"I know others have talked about them here from time to time so I expect you will get some responses that may help"
Unfortunately David, many of those people that Andy is talking about are feeling very disenfranchised from this site currently and are not want to "help out" much anymore, so please don't hold your breath, as many of the current threads which deal with real HIV issues are not being answered by those people that Andy is talking about.
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David
Although not for panic attacks, I benefit from acupuncture for a variety of things including stress, or reactions to stress. If you have an acupuncturist near you, you might want to consider it.
Em
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One of my worst panic attacks was during work. I left the plane and went to the Dr. After diganosis I was prescribed Lexatin from Roche (bromazepam) 3mg 3 times a day. It really worked, but you must never stop taking it when you feel ok. To resume treatment you must reduce the dose slowly during a two week period. Otherwise panic attacks will be even stronger.
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Hi David,
I have never suffered from panic attacks, so I can't give you personal advice, but a few thoughts came to mind when reading your post.
Are you sure the coughing attack is a panic attack, and not a medical/ breathing problem? Have you talked to a therapist about it? Do you see a psychiatrist? A psyche might have more knowledge about meds and treatment for you.
Em's idea on acupuncture is a good one also. I have used acupressure treatments to help with some problems, and am happy with the outcomes.
Sending you good thoughts and prayers.
Christine
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I agree with Christine...cough does not seem a sign of a panic attack. Difficulty to breathe due to oppression on your chest is. You must also look for difficulty in concentrating.
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Maybe "can't catch my breath and get choked trying to" would be better than coughing. Here are the most common symptoms of panic attacks that I've found:
Shaking
Feeling that your heart is pounding or racing
Sweating
Chest pain
Shortness of breath
Feeling that you are choking
Nausea
Cramping
Dizziness
Out-of-body feeling
Tingling or numb feeling in your hands
Chills or hot flashes
Thanks for the input.
David
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David,
Unless a person has experienced a panic attack I doubt that they would know what you’re speaking about. I had suffered from them a few years back. Really bad. If one came on in the middle of the night I'd have to get up and turn on every light inside and outside my home and wait for the sunrise. Other times I just had to be anywhere else but where I was at the time the attack hit me. I’d stop what I was doing and drive to home depot and just sit in my car until the anxiety passed.
I eventually spoke with my doctor and with therapy and much medications I was able to control them. After awhile I weaned myself off the medications and haven’t had a panic attack for quite awhile now. I feel a lot of the reason I suffered from them was because I was suppressing emotions that I just didn’t want to deal with, so my nervous system over rode that.
I really sympathize with what you’re going through. Try being around people that you can open up to. And don’t be afraid to ask for help. Slow deep breath. Focus on something that pleases you.
PS. I’m surprised this is happening to you because you seem to be so in control kind of a personality. Good luck.
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I feel a lot of the reason I suffered from them was because I was suppressing emotions that I just didn’t want to deal with, so my nervous system over rode that.
I really sympathize with what you’re going through. Try being around people that you can open up to. And don’t be afraid to ask for help. Slow deep breath. Focus on something that pleases you.
PS. I’m surprised this is happening to you because you seem to be so in control kind of a personality. Good luck.
Thanks Terry,
You're so right about not understanding them if one hasn't had them before. I tried to help my ex, and I did, but I never truly understood how she felt.
I think possibly you've shown me the cause of these damned panic attacks. When you said you suppressed emotions and I seem to be an in control personality. Well, I've always been able to control how I've felt about things and situations, but I guess this HIV is kicking my butt! I think I've suppressed a lot of emotions about my HIV+ status that I shouldn't have. For a while now, I've wanted to be able to just have a good old emotional moment (or two)... cry, bitch, yell, the whole works. The Prozac has seemed to have made me very happy; in fact, I've felt better on it than pre-HIV. I guess I really haven't dealt with the causes but have only been masking the symptoms.
I just got a call and set up an appointment with a recommended counsellor. I was hoping to not have to wait 'til Monday, but I'll deal with it. I kinda feel better already! ;) Take care
David
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David,
One symptom/emotions you neglected to mention that I felt so strongly during my panic attacks was that feeling of eminent death. I felt I was dying. I knew I wasn't; but knowing and the feelings were two different things.
I to am the one that’s there for others but seldom, if ever asking for help for myself. Hell I took a cab home from the hospital after being there for three day’s after suffering a heart attack. I didn’t want to put anyone out. Besides I just wanted out of the frigging hospital.
From what I’ve heard you say you have a partner, plus I’ve seen pictures of you two, let him know what your going through and have him be there for you until your doctors visit. Sometimes just having someone know will get you through the difficult anxiety period.
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David, I'm really happy to read that you've made that appointment. In the meantime, you might try keeping a journal just for your eyes only. Just your thoughts about anything including of course feelings, memories, associations, ideas and whatever about the panic attacks. And not the least about HIV.
What you put down doesn't have to be coherent or even "make sense" in a traditional way. This is just an opportunity for you to connect with yourself and see where it goes.
And of course you're always welcome to talk here.
I've also used acupuncture and found it very helpful so that might be something to consider for future use.
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Hey David,
Moffie was exactly right. You will receive responses from others. Please go to this link and it will assist you with your situation:
http://forums.poz.com/index.php?topic=4717.0 (http://forums.poz.com/index.php?topic=4717.0)
I sense that there was a reason that I wanted to share this with others. I hope that it is of help to you. Due to it's rather long length you may want to either "bookmark" it or to "print" it out.
Make the BEST of each and every Day!
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Hi David.
Sorry to hear about your panic attacks; I suffered from them badly about 10 years ago and know that they can be awful, so much that in my case I had one at work one day and a colleague insisted in calling an ambulance which led to a week in hospital whilst they ran tests to eliminate everything else. It took me about three years all told before I was free of them.
Drugs are not the answer, they provide a short term mask of the symptoms without addressing the real problem although they might just be needed in the short term.
You have already made the best move by booking the appointment with the therapist, the hardest part of the "cure" is probably accepting that it really is only your own mind which is giving you the symptoms and that the real cause is something deep inside your subconscious. Once you have accepted that as a fact you can then begin to work through your feelings and learn to relax and let go of the tension which causes the attacks.
Emeraldize's suggestion of an accupuncturist is also a good one as is Terry's suggestion of talking to your partner or another understanding friend. I am currently acting as a prop for a friend who has them and she has had some help from a post of Eldon's from some while back to which he's just posted a link as I typed, (HOW DID YOU DO THAT? ??? ;D).
Hope this has been of some help, take care, John.
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Hey David,
I have suffered from depression/panic disorder for the last ten years. I would strongly recommend you seek consultation with a Psychiatrist. There are better SSRIs than Prozac for dealing with depression with associated panic disorder (Paxil comes to mind). If you are going to take psychotropic medications, it is best to get a diagnosis from someone more expert in dealing with them than most primary care physicians. Medication in association with counseling/therapy is far more effective than medication alone. The idea being that you learn to control and deal with anxiety and to recognize and control the panic feelings before they cascade into a panic attack. You keep medications on hand to fall back on until you learn to do this more effectively. Depression, on the other hand, may require lifetime medication to control.
Be aware that talk therapy takes time - sometimes a long time - sometimes longer than your insurance is willing to pay. It is still the best way to deal with depression and panic disorder. Your mind is producing these bizarre symptoms, and you have to work through your feelings to reach a point where you can control, or at least deal , with your anxiety in a better fashion..
Here's hoping you feel better quickly,
Whiz
My panic attacks started long before my HIV diagnosis. I took Paxil for depression, and Xanax when a particularly bad panic attack occurred. The Xanax made a bad attack go away very quickly - within a few minutes. More minor attacks could be controlled with a technique called circular breathing. You inhale to a slow count to four, hold your breath for a count of four, exhale for a count of four, and hold your breath after exhale for a count of four. The idea is that you shed yourself of that out of control feeling you get when the attack first begins. You feel in control, and the attack fades away.
Over time, my panic attacks became less and less. I still get them on rare occasions. They seem to come in clusters of two or three over a period of a few days, then go away for months at a time. I think I have had about two this year that I needed to take Xanax to control.
Like you, I have never been able to identify where a panic attack comes from. Early on, they would frequently happen in my sleep. They never occur when I feel stressed, but do occur after periods of stress. Oddly enough, my diagnosis of HIV did not bring on any increase in them. In fact, I have been pretty much panic free for the last several years. I still keep Xanax around though, just in case.
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shortly after meds i was sitting on the coach on night and went berserk. couldn't catch my breath, heart wildly racing, and major hyper activity. scared me so much i ran to the doc the next day. he said i was just anxious about the hiv. but they started happening more and more and @ the oddest and most inconvenient times. doc said he physiologist were like attorneys...just out to get ur money. anyway he gave me some valium. i feel one coming on and take one and it settles me down. very odd. iv never had the problem before. not sure if its the hiv or mayb meds
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Don't know where they come from or why, but I dealt with them for a few years several years ago. I dreaded going into the grocery store knowing I'd get my basket loaded and then I'd be "trapped" in line, fearful of being too embarrassed to just leave the basketful sitting there, but just praying I could hurry up and pay and get the hell out of the store. Flying was out, since I couldn't escape the plane whenever I wanted to. Being trapped in a car - the list goes on... just not being able to "escape" and get to a safe place. Heart racing, feet sweating, total fear of passing out and all out fear of embarassment - YIKES!!! I sympathize!!
I finally went to the doctor and he prescribed Zoloft. Odd as it sounds, it had an immediate effect on the first day I took it, but the biggest thing that helped me out was just knowing it was all in my head and that I was going to have to learn how to control my own mind. It took some drugs occasionally and some time, but I got it under control. It helped initially to ALWAYS carry Xanax in a little container in my pocket... just the mental comfort of knowing I could "escape" the attacks whenever I needed to helped - it's a mental thing. Good luck!!!
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Drugs are not the answer, they provide a short term mask of the symptoms without addressing the real problem although they might just be needed in the short term.
Hey John, you are exactly right on this one. Meds do not address the "cause" of the problem. For the short term they may assist as the individual detrmines the "cause" of the problem.
Make the BEST of each Day!
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Very sorry to hear of your panic attacks. I had many in the 90's. I often times had to pull off the road while I was driving.
Mine were related to a rare inner ear infection. I had Meniers disease, and it actually required surgery. The attacks ended up getting so bad, I could not tell where the horizon was. I would lay down, vomit, and sweat profusely. It was the worst experience.
I don't know if you have any inner ear issues. But you may want to look into it.
I had a "Vestibular nerve section" which basically clips a nerve from your ear to your brain. I lost all balance on my right side, but the left side took over . I was in bed for a week. But I have not had an attack since.
Again this is very rare. but you may want to have a hearing test.
Good luck!
Jeff
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Thanks guys. These attacks sure do suck! The Ativan helps a lot, and being in a zombie state of mind is kind of fun sometimes, but it's a bit hard to do daily things like drive (drive well, anyway). I'm hoping that this appointment on Monday will help me begin to figure out what's causing them. In the meant time, I'll do what I can to temper them. Thanks.
David
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Hi David,
I am sorry if my post implied I did not think you were having panic attacks. That was not my intent at all. When you said "coughing", since having had pcp, that always comes to my mind first. My concern was that if you had a bacterial or viral infection going on, I would not want you to over look it.
Good luck with your appointment on Monday. You will be able to get it all resolved, just take one day at a time.
Christine
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Hey David,
How did your appointment go with the doctor?
Hope you’re on the fast tract to recovery.
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Terry, thanks for asking.
The appt. I had yesterday was with a counselor; I have a Dr. appt. Dec 1 (to start meds). It was sort of a 'get to know me' session yesterday. It was pretty cool telling somebody I don't know (but who is highly recommended espec. for HIV+ folks) about things in general and occasionally hitting on something that I didn't realize bothers me. I guess I deal with things by pushing them to the back of my mind. That's fine for some things, but evidently not for dealing with HIV. The strange part was that I had no more panic attacks at all yesterday after the meeting.
I'm going to continue with the breathing exercises (which really do work), relaxation, meditation, and try to wean myself off the one-a-day Ativan. Those pills really do help, but driving is kind of scary after I've taken one! In any event, recognizing these damned panic attacks for what they are is allowing me to fight them.
David
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David...
I have suffered from anxiety and panic attacks for about 20 years. While the worst of it is 7 years behind me, I still get mild panic attacks. To the point...I take Welbutrin and Buspar for depression and anxiety respectively. The Buspar is fantastic for anxiety/panic for me anyway.
There is almost ALWAYS a "core issue" that brings them on. In my case it was dealing with a mother who almost died on 3 different ocassions from cancer when I was in my formative years. My core issue was the uncertainty of death. I also suffer from PTSD (Post Traumatic Stress Disorder) due to several major car accidents. I still haven't gotten over driving on the freeway.
The funny thing for me is that just before I was diagnosed poz, I had the worst bout with panic in my life. I think my body was trying to tell me something! I did the work, meditated, deep breathing exercises, also some good congnitive behavior therapy. Now, the worst attack I get rates about a 3 (10 being the worst)!
Hang in there, do the work and do some good therapy with your Dr. and it'll get under control! Just know that there are MILLIONS of people everyday that have them. You're certainly not alone!
Additionally, this book single-handedly changed everything for me! I strongly urge that you get a copy.
http://www.stressrelease.com/booktext.html (http://www.stressrelease.com/booktext.html)
Good luck, be well-
Dude