Two incidents - will I end up poz because of this?

[Portugal13]

Hi there.

Please could you advise me.

A week ago I masturbated with a guy.  He had some fluid on his fingers when he touched my penis and I'm worried that it might have been cum or pre-cum (it could also have been lube) and that when he touched the tip of my penis, this might have infected me.  Is this likely?

And today, I met a guy who said he wanted to have sex with me anally using a condom (me being the receptive partner).  He put his penis near my bottom for about 15 seconds, at this stage he did not have condom on.  It was just resting between my butt cheeks, but was not inserted.  He then went and put a condom on and tried to penetrate me, but I only let him penetrate me for a few inches and then stopped because I felt uncomfortable.  He was inserted for about 10 seconds.

What worried me most of all is whether, when he put his penis near my bottom for 15 seconds, whether he transferred any pre-cum onto my bottom area which was then pushed into my anus when he tried to penetrate me with the condom on.  Do you understand?

If he leaked some pre-cum onto my bottom area and it stayed there, and he then put the condom on and penetrated me, this would surely push some of the pre-cum (if there was any) inside.

Please could you evaluate both incidents and tell me should I go to the GU clinic and ask for PEP.  Do I need an HIV test in 6 weeks?  Is this likely to make me HIV poz?

I am very worried.  It is my understanding that HIV is transmitted in bodily fluids and that cum on someone's hand could transmit HIV up my penis, likewise a small drop of pre-cum deposited near my bottom area, which is then pushed further inside my bottom by the condom, could both infect me.  Do you agree?

many thanks
Jonathan

[Joe K]

You did not have a risk of HIV infection, because you used a condom for penetrative sex.  HIV is a very fragile virus when exposed to air and is unable to infect.  Nothing you described put you at risk and there is no need for PEP nor testing over these incidents.

Anyone who is sexually active should be having a full sexual health care check-up, including but not limited to HIV testing, at least once a year and more often if unprotected intercourse occurs.

If you aren't already having regular, routine check-ups, now is the time to start.  As long as you make sure condoms are being used for intercourse, you can fully expect your routine HIV tests to return with negative results.

Do not forget to always get checked for all the other sexually transmitted infections as well, because they are MUCH easier to transmit than HIV.  Some of the other STDs can be present with no obvious symptoms, so the only way to know for sure is to test.

Use condoms for anal or vaginal intercourse, correctly and consistently, and you will avoid HIV infection. It really is that simple!

Joe

[Portugal13]

Hi Joe,

thanks very much for your reply.

Yes, he did use a condom for the penetrative element of the sex, but this only lasted 10 seconds or so and he did not ejaculate into the condom.

What worried me most is whether small amounts of pre-cum that might have gone from his penis to my bottom just before he penetrated me. 

I know you said that you did not think this was a risk, but please, are you able to explain why?  I have been told that HIV is transmitted in pre-cum and also was told that HIV can survive outside the body in pools of cum for up to an hour.

So if there was pre-cum from his penis that got onto my bottom, and then he penetrated me, would this not have pushed the pre-cum inside? 

I don't know if he was HIV positive or not, but I always assume everyone I have sex with is poz.  I use condoms religiously for penetrative sex, but what worries me greatly is pre-cum that some guys produce.  It particularly worries me when guys touch themselves and then touch my genitals as I worry about infection that way.

I note from other parts of this forum it is said time and time again that HIV cannot survive outside the body and that small changes, caused by air and other agents, render HIV unable to infect.  Is this what would have happened if pre-cum (if it was infected with HIV) was deposited near my bottom?

What do you think of the statement that was put to me that HIV can survive outside the human body in pools of cum for up to an hour?  A health advisor told me this, although it seems in stark contrast to what is posted on these forums.  I did mention this at the time to the health advisor, but she said her version was correct, although she was not able to provide me with any scientific links to support what she said, and because of that, I prefer to believe what is said on these forums, but please could you clarify all the same.

I do find myself having a lot of protected sex with anonymous guys at bathhouses, cruising areas, etc, and I think it's an unhealthy addiction because I have such low-self esteem and I want to feel validated.  I just need to know how to stop stressing about each and every incident.  I try to convince myself that providing the top guy wears a condom and it doesn't break, then I won't become infected, but that internal talk doesn't seem to convince me and there's always part of me with this nagging doubt.  At the moment, I just want to completely give up penetrative sex all together as it seems far too stressful.

Are you please able to say how long HIV does survive when outside the body (ie a matter of seconds or 1 minute)?

thank you very much indeed for your kind help
Jonathan

[RapidRod]

HIV is unable to reproduce outside its living host (unlike many bacteria or fungi, which may do so under suitable conditions), except under laboratory conditions; therefore, it does not spread or maintain infectiousness outside its host.

HIV is transmitted by;
Unprotected penetrative anal and/or vaginal sex
Sharing works with other IV drug users
Mother to child

[Ann]

Jonathan,

"A week ago I masturbated with a guy.  He had some fluid on his fingers when he touched my penis and I'm worried that it might have been cum or pre-cum (it could also have been lube) and that when he touched the tip of my penis, this might have infected me.  Is this likely?"

No, it's not likely at all. Mutual masturbation is NOT a risk for hiv infection.

"What worried me most of all is whether, when he put his penis near my bottom for 15 seconds, whether he transferred any pre-cum onto my bottom area which was then pushed into my anus when he tried to penetrate me with the condom on."

This is really no different to being fingered when the person has some cum on their finger. There has NEVER been a case of transmission happening this way. Fingering goes on all the time, very often with cum or precum present, and if this were a risk for hiv infection we'd know about it by now. It's not.

In adults, hiv is sexually transmitted by full-on unprotected anal or vaginal intercourse. In rare cases it might be transmitted during oral sex, when the person doing the sucking has terrible oral health (such as meth-mouth) and the person they're sucking has an extremely high viral load.

The bottom line for you is that as a sexually active adult you should be having regular, routine sexual health check ups. While you do not need to test over this specific incident, you should be testing regularly. If you want to be reassured about this incident, get your complete check up at six weeks.

Nothing you are worried about has been a risk for hiv infection. If you have not had a complete STI screening in the past year (or six months if you're very active with many partners), then it's time you did, these incidents aside. It's what responsible adults do to protect their own health and that of their sexual partners.

Use condoms for anal or vaginal intercourse, correctly and consistently, and you will avoid hiv infection. It really is that simple!!! Check out the condom and lube links in my signature line so you can use them correctly and with confidence.

Ann

[Portugal13]

Hi Ann and RapidRod

thanks for your replies.

I am sorry but I have one other query.  Yesterday I had sex with a guy.  He inserted his finger into my bottom and took it out.  I don't know if there was anything on his finger, there might have been lube or pre-cum, but there certainly wasn't cum.  He then screwed me with a condom on.  The condom didn't break (I checked it by filling it with water afterwards).

Is the fingering a risk?

I'm very worried now as the glands in my neck have come up and are very sore right now.  It's been exactly 7 days since the first guy touched his penis with his hand which was wet with some substance (pre-cum or lube) and 2 days since the guy put his penis near my behind and I started to worry that he might have transferred some infectious fluids there.

Do you think the swollen glands are a symptom of seroconversion?

many thanks for your help.  I am very worried and don't know what to do.  Is PEP necessary given yesterday's incident?

Jonathan

[Andy Velez]

Jonathan, are you listening to anything other than your fears? Listen, the ONLY confirmed risks for the sexual transmission of HIV are unprotected vaginal and anal intercourse. As long as condoms are used properly for those activities you will be well protected.

HIV is very fragile as has already been said to you more than once. Fingering your butthole with precum or even sperm on fingers is not a risk for transmission. For you to be bringing up the possible use of PEP is something that has absolutely no basis in HIV science in relation to your story. Let it go and get on with your life.

Really.