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Author Topic: Overexposure  (Read 4944 times)

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Offline GSOgymrat

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  • Posts: 5,122
  • HIV+ since 1993. Relentlessly gay.
Overexposure
« on: July 30, 2007, 12:06:03 pm »
I work at a hospital and yesterday a security officer who I didn't know came up to me and asked my name. Then he said "You're that guy who did the bodybuilding contest. I got your webpage from the email that is going around." I asked one of my coworker about an email and she said "Oh yeah, everyone has seen it. The techs on the unit were gathered around the computer talking about it." Today I get an email from a former coworker who I have not talked to in 8 years commenting on my bodyspace page. I'm not uncomfortable with the content of the page but I'm kind of unnerved that there is an email going around work, and beyond, about me.

Of course what is more serious is that if my name is Googled the first thing that pops up is my interview with The Body where I describe my entire lipo experience and a link to my lipo page with before and after photos, inclusing my naked butt. I'm not "out" about my HIV status to family or friends and with a simple click they could learn the whole story. Sometimes I think I should pull my lipo site but I've received hundreds of emails thanking me for posting it and still get emails every week. On one hand I just don't really care about people finding out about my status, which is obvious given my avatar. On the other I can forsee it causing problems. Of course there is no way to pull The Body interview or Google link even if I wanted to. As far as the bodyspace page, I really don't care.

How do you guys feel about posting personal information on the internet?

Offline allopathicholistic

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Re: Overexposure
« Reply #1 on: July 30, 2007, 12:37:41 pm »
How do you guys feel about posting personal information on the internet?

 :D Oh goodness, where's TucsonWoody when you need him??  :D

Honey if I looked half as delicious as you I'd be Paris Hiltoning my butt all over the place. i think eventually people *will* want to have names in order to associate the names with personas they are drawn to .... That said, I wish you the best, as in, no problems and I hope you get what you want. Personally I withhold my last name as much as I can

Offline bear60

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Re: Overexposure
« Reply #2 on: July 30, 2007, 01:22:43 pm »
Oh gee....well as they say...if you let the cat out of the bag.....well....the news will just keep spreading.  If I were you I would want my family to hear it from me rather than off the internet or from someone who reports it to them from seeing it on the internet. 
Frankly ....there is no going back. And since you are somewhat of a celebrity now, just think how poor little Paris Hilton feels!! No, seriously. There is no such thing as bad publicity.  I wouldnt even know who Paris Hilton was if everyone didnt talk about her this and her that.
It really boils down to HOW you are going to deal with all the internet attention.  (which most likely will die down soon) ( Its such a fickle medium.)  By getting upset, what do you accomplish? 
Do you take the attention people are paying you as a compliment or as a meddlesome annoyance??? Just wondering.
Poz Bear Type in Philadelphia

Offline mjmel

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Re: Overexposure
« Reply #3 on: July 30, 2007, 01:50:33 pm »
Well, I always thought you had the balls of a dragon (read: major guts) to put your personal stuff out there on the internet. I have commended you regarding this as it helps people out tremendously.
Bear60 typed out some wise counsel, I think.
I don't share personal info on the internet but having said that I know that anything I ever posted on the internet is out there floating around in data chaos. That would include personal emails too for even a not-so-skilled hacker. Once it's out there.....
xxx,
Mike

Offline Miss Philicia

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  • celebrity poster, faker & poser
Re: Overexposure
« Reply #4 on: July 30, 2007, 02:13:06 pm »
How do you guys feel about posting personal information on the internet?

Cautious, because I was sexually stalked by a violent meth addict on line around '00.
"I’ve slept with enough men to know that I’m not gay"

Offline Matty the Damned

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Re: Overexposure
« Reply #5 on: July 30, 2007, 02:35:21 pm »
Ford,

Here's the thing. You enter into body building contests, you smear yourself with grease or whatever and post a YouTube episode where you prance about to some girly anthem and you wonder why people know what you are?

Be proud girl. You're out.

MtD

Offline Bucko

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  • You need a shine, missy!
Re: Overexposure
« Reply #6 on: July 30, 2007, 02:58:45 pm »
I am extremely hesitant to draw connections between my on-line activities and my flesh-and-blood life. Most people who meet me would actually be somewhat surprised to discover that I post smutty true tales on my blog, especially given their salty nature.

Personally I prefer to publish pseudonymously.

Brent
(Who keeps Bucko online, generally)
Blessed with brains, talent and gorgeous tits.

Blathering on AIDSmeds since 2005, provocative from birth

Offline milker

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Re: Overexposure
« Reply #7 on: July 30, 2007, 03:16:13 pm »
I too am not HIV out (is there a name for that?) to my family and this is why I don't want to post my name or my face picture. Googling my name already returns enough results (not HIV related), and I'm trying to keep that in control.

I commend you for posting the pictures and lipo information, it is very valuable for everyone of us.

Milker.
mid-dec: stupid ass
mid-jan: seroconversion
mid-feb: poz
mar 07: cd4 432 (35%) vl 54000
may 07: cd4 399 (28%) vl 27760
jul 07: cd4 403 (26%) vl 99241
oct 07: cd4 353 (24%) vl 29993
jan 08: cd4 332 (26%) vl 33308
mar 08: cd4 392 (23%) vl 75548
jun 08: cd4 325 (27%) vl 45880
oct 08: cd4 197 (20%) vl 154000 <== aids diagnosis
nov 2 08 start Atripla
nov 30 08: cd4 478 (23%) vl 1880 !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
feb 19 09: cd4 398 (24%) vl 430 getting there!
apr 23 09: cd4 604 (29%) vl 50 woohoo :D :D
jul 30 09: cd4 512 (29%) vl undetectable :D :D
may 27 10: cd4 655 (32%) vl undetectable :D :D

Now accepting applications from blowjob ninjas™

Offline Dachshund

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Re: Overexposure
« Reply #8 on: July 30, 2007, 04:09:34 pm »
What is done is done and I bet you would be very surprised to find out what coworkers, friends and family already know about you...and what they don't know they probably make up.

Offline GSOgymrat

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  • Posts: 5,122
  • HIV+ since 1993. Relentlessly gay.
Re: Overexposure
« Reply #9 on: July 30, 2007, 05:53:28 pm »
Oh gee....well as they say...if you let the cat out of the bag.....well....the news will just keep spreading.  If I were you I would want my family to hear it from me rather than off the internet or from someone who reports it to them from seeing it on the internet. 
Frankly ....there is no going back. And since you are somewhat of a celebrity now, just think how poor little Paris Hilton feels!! No, seriously. There is no such thing as bad publicity.  I wouldn't even know who Paris Hilton was if everyone didn't talk about her this and her that.
It really boils down to HOW you are going to deal with all the internet attention.  (which most likely will die down soon) ( Its such a fickle medium.)  By getting upset, what do you accomplish? 
Do you take the attention people are paying you as a compliment or as a meddlesome annoyance??? Just wondering.

As far as the bodybuilding page, I'm neither flattered nor annoyed, just surprised people who I don't know me would bother with it. It was kind of the weird feeling you get when you realize people are talking about you behind your back, which in this case they are. As Matty pointed out, I can't put stuff out there and not expect people to react. I'm obviously respected and appreciated at the hospital, in spite of my eccentricities, so no biggie.

As far as the HIV stuff, this article has been online for over a year and no one has confronted me. If people find out they can deal with it. This is the area that I get a bit of a chip on my shoulder. If I can deal with having HIV for 14 years then other people deal with hearing the news. I've told people in the past and watched them get all freaked out and have no patience for that-- it's a virus, you're not going to catch it, I'm perfectly healthy, end of story.

Offline northernguy

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Re: Overexposure
« Reply #10 on: July 31, 2007, 12:39:15 am »
I think you should be very proud of both web presences.  The discipline to get into the kind of shape you did for the contest is pretty amazing, and when you consider that you did it without drugs and with the challenge of HIV its doubly so.

Being honest and upfront with the lipo info is something to be very proud of.  I know its easy to say, when its not my life out there on the 'net, but you've done a lot of people good by being so candid.  Ultimately I guess it comes down to with what you feel comfortable with.

Apr 28/06 cd4 600 vl 10,600 cd% 25
Nov 8/09 cd4 510 vl 49,5000 cd% 16
Jan 16/10 cd4 660 vl 54,309 cd% 16
Feb 17/10 Started Atripla
Mar 7/10 cd4 710 vl 1,076 cd% 21
Apr 18/10 cd4 920 vl 268 cd% 28
Jun 19/10 cd4 450 vl 60 cd% 25
Aug 15/10 cd4 680 vl 205 cd% 27
Apr 3/11 cd4 780 vl <40 cd% 30
Jul 17/11 cd4 960 vl <40 cd%33
April 15/12 cd4 1,010 vl <40 cd% 39
April 20/12 Switched to Viramune + Truvada
Aug 2/12 cd4 1040, vl <40, cd% 38
Oct 19 cd4 1,110 vl <40 cd% 41

Offline Queen Tokelove

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  • Smokey the Smurf
Re: Overexposure
« Reply #11 on: July 31, 2007, 04:31:11 am »
I'm not sure how you should feel about it... I have just gotten bold and posted my pic on the personals and the forums. I think I am getting to the point, I just don't care anymore. I have dealt with nothing but rejection when trying to be honest. If someone sees me they see me but you have a bit more at risk considering that you didn't tell friends and family. Just know there is someone here in my town that could be your twin.
Started Atripla/Ziagen on 9/13/07.
10/31/07 CD4-265 VL- undetectable
2/6/08 CD4- 401 VL- undetectable
5/7/08 CD4- 705 VL- undetectable
6/4/08 CD4- 775 VL- undetectable
8/6/08 CD4- 805 VL- undetectable
11/13/08 CD4- 774 VL--undetectable
2/4/09  CD4- 484  VL- 18,000 (2 months off meds)
3/3/09---Starting Back on Meds---
4/27/09 CD4- 664 VL-- undetectable
6/17/09 CD4- 438 VL- 439
8/09 CD4- 404 VL- 1,600
01-22-10-- CD4- 525 VL- 59,000
Cherish the simple things life has to offer

Offline Ann

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  • It just is, OK?
    • Num is sum qui mentiar tibi?
Re: Overexposure
« Reply #12 on: July 31, 2007, 07:24:15 am »
G,

I think I have an inkling of how you feel - like waiting for the other shoe to drop, so to speak.

On March 9th of this year, I was interviewed by Stephen Fry for a documentary about people living with hiv. It won't air until mid to late September - it's a long time to have to wait to find out what my neighbours' reactions will be like. As it will air on the BBC and hosted is by Stephen Fry, I'm sure it will be watched by many people as Mr Fry is a very popular man here in the UK.

Every now and then I get a rush of the 'noids, and consider ringing my contact at the BBC to tell her I want to withdraw my contribution. When this happens, I mentally draw up a pro and con list and the pro side always wins out (so far! LOL). All I can do is hope that it helps more people than it harms me. Being "out there" is the only way we are going to counteract the stigma so I try to keep my eye on the bigger picture.

I don't know if my experience is helpful to you at all, but at least we both know that we're not alone in having some doubts and misgivings about being openly hiv positive.

Hugs,
Ann
xxx
Condoms are a girl's best friend

Condom and Lube Info  

"...health will finally be seen not as a blessing to be wished for, but as a human right to be fought for." Kofi Annan

Nymphomaniac: a woman as obsessed with sex as an average man. Mignon McLaughlin

HIV is certainly character-building. It's made me see all of the shallow things we cling to, like ego and vanity. Of course, I'd rather have a few more T-cells and a little less character. Randy Shilts

Offline bear60

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Re: Overexposure
« Reply #13 on: July 31, 2007, 08:31:30 am »
GSO...Did I say we are all very proud of you? What you are doing to help HIV positive people is just incredible.  Dont stop.
Poz Bear Type in Philadelphia

Offline GSOgymrat

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  • HIV+ since 1993. Relentlessly gay.
Re: Overexposure
« Reply #14 on: July 31, 2007, 08:37:47 am »
Ann I think it is very brave that you participated in the documentary. There are many people who wouldn't be willing to expose themselves that way. I agree that the only way the stigma will improve is if we educate people and your being a woman with HIV makes your contribution even more effective. I hope only positive things come from your participation.

Offline Ann

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    • Num is sum qui mentiar tibi?
Re: Overexposure
« Reply #15 on: July 31, 2007, 09:32:57 am »
Brave, or foolhardy? ;D

You already know that your "participation" has helped many people and it's from knowing people like you that I take my inspiration. If it's reciprocal inspiration, then so much the better. It's good to draw strength from one another.

Hugs,
Ann
xxx


Condoms are a girl's best friend

Condom and Lube Info  

"...health will finally be seen not as a blessing to be wished for, but as a human right to be fought for." Kofi Annan

Nymphomaniac: a woman as obsessed with sex as an average man. Mignon McLaughlin

HIV is certainly character-building. It's made me see all of the shallow things we cling to, like ego and vanity. Of course, I'd rather have a few more T-cells and a little less character. Randy Shilts

Offline Oceanbeach

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Re: Overexposure
« Reply #16 on: July 31, 2007, 07:23:14 pm »
There was discussion about personal information on the internet and the use of Commissioners names.  I googled my name and found nothing because I couldn't have a more common name.  I googled Sonomabeach and got a link to Forum topics I had participated in.  I googled Commission-on-AIDS and found my web site after a long list of topics here in the forums.

Finally, I googled asshole and got the White House Web page    ;D  Have the best day
Michael
(I am feeling lucky)

Offline GSOgymrat

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  • Posts: 5,122
  • HIV+ since 1993. Relentlessly gay.
Re: Overexposure
« Reply #17 on: August 05, 2007, 10:33:02 am »
I read that some people, particularly women, are Googling people's name or looking up their MySpace page when they go out on a date. For people who blog that could reveal a lot of information. I don't read blogs but have clicked on a few. Some are huge and go into great detail about all aspects of people's lives. Have any bloggers on here had experience with dating someone who has read their blog?
« Last Edit: August 05, 2007, 10:41:16 am by GSOgymrat »

Offline mrtallguy

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Re: Overexposure
« Reply #18 on: August 05, 2007, 11:40:51 am »
My Sunday Morning Lesson.....
I am 70% "out" with regard to being gay and 10% "out" with regard to my status....so I am still expanding the 70%.....the remaining 30% would be mostly customers/vendors related to my business.  I am not actively expanding the 10% yet.   I have to say that when someone has found out or been told of my orientation there has never been an adverse experience. Usually it has been overwhelmingly good....beyond expectations.   As a result I put myself "out there" more and more...such as my avatar pic on this site and various other sites.   I still do not use my last name at any site.   I think it boils down to a metaphysical philosophy:  That which we focus upon expands.   I see the greatness in everything and everybody and, as a result, this greatness expands.  As this vision of greatness expands it chokes out the negative or undesirable forces.  When a negative force hits me I acknowledge it and then dismiss it as not worthy of my attention or energy. (if someone is armed I run like hell!!)

Ford, you put yourself "out there" by educating and enlightening people which is a great thing.  This force of greatness will attract more greatness....if you allow petty comments or gossip to consume your mindspace then you give power to these things....and they will dominate (or become present) in your life.

These principals work everywhere....at work or on the web....although the web does present a greater "test" to us!  Lessons in life always come with a test....it is all about how we handle the situation.  Once we know that we are in full control of everything...only then can we move into the unknown with total confidence!  Amen to that!! 

Be Well....

Craig
I AM DETERMINED TO SEE THINGS DIFFERENTLY!
--ACIM

 


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