How Gay Are You ?

[Miss Philicia]

Is liking vampire themed movies/shows/ books a little gay ?

Doubtful, since I'm not obsessed with them. In fact they are lame.

[denb45]

I got all you guys in here beat, I was a Gay US-Navy guy & Gay Cop before it was cool and except-able until I got teh the AIDS  

[spacebarsux]

Doubtful, since I'm not obsessed with them. In fact they are lame.

Did you not enjoy watching Tom Cruise bite into Brad Pitt's flesh in Interview With a Vampire ?

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5EQCZxO3GBk

[Miss Philicia]

Did you not enjoy watching Tom Cruise bite into Brad Pitt's flesh in Interview With a Vampire ?

Not particularly, no.

[mecch]

Its one of the few movies I liked Cruise in.

[WillyWump]

Its one of the few movies I liked Cruise in.

Ditto.

I found the biting scene very erotic.

-WIll

[mecch]

I also liked Rain Man, Jerry McGuire, Minority Report, and Collateral.  Eyes Wide Shut was bearable because he was a bit of a zombie in a film that was just a formal exercise in style.

[Since2005]

Tom Cruise is ( or should I say was) too  much of a pretty boy for me
Brad Pitt on the other hand.. you know what..

I liked the bite scene too but It would have been better with Beckham and Brad

[mecch]

Funny I dont find cruise pretty. Hes the kindy of spooky boy next door. Brad Pitt was sex on a stick in his 20's and 30s'

[spacebarsux]

I don't find Tom Cruise very pretty either. But I loved Minority Report.

Brad Pitt on the other hand is smokin...and a fine actor. I loved Fight Club, Curious Case of Benjamin Button and Seven Years in Tibet among others.

[DanMo]

a)  Are you or have you ever been a big (HUGE) fan of any of the following: Madonna, Kylie Minogue, Lady GaGa, Rihanna

No

b) In high school were you an avid sportsperson? Were you on any of the sports teams?

In high school, I was a full out nerd... but in middle school I was on the soccer team, Tae Kwon Do (green belt), and I did some cross country track 

c) Did you prefer languages to mathematics in school ?

Yes! GOD YES! I was horrible in math.

d) Did/do you secretly think you're way more posh than all of your peers ?

Nope

e)  Were/are you a Sex and the City fan?

Never even seen an episode.

f) Did you like Devil Wears Prada ?

Yes, I did. Anne Hathaway and Meryl Streep FTW!

g) Do you own a pair of red shoes ?

Yes, I have a pair of red and black converses.

h) While talking do you move your arms and roll your eyes a little more than the average person ?

Yes I do. Also, being caribbean, my speaking volume tends to be very loud and people think I'm shouting.

That's it for now.....

Edited to add:-

I added these questions in two later posts but some people seem to have missed them so I am adding them here:


i) Do you use words such as  ‘fabulous’, ‘charming’ and ‘exquisite’ a little too much ?

Nope

j) Do you ever step out of your house without checking the mirror at least 3 times ?

Yes

k) Do you have a penchant for fashion- of any kind, shape or form ?

I have no fashion sense whatsoever, plus I am color vision deficient.

l) f you had to choose, would you watch a show on home interiors over Top Gear ?

What is 'Top Gear'? Too lazy to Google 

m) Does your bathroom sink resemble the side-shelf of a major cosmetic store?

Nope

n) Do you count calories in your food intake? Do you go on strange 'no-carbs after 6 pm' diets or other weird variations?

I was counting carbs like a month ago, but it got too tedious. But judging from my normal eating habits, I hardly exceed the recommended daily caloric intake

o) Do you like House and pop music and despise rap and hard-rock ?

I like all sorts of music. I tend to like very up-beat music like M.I.A (Arular) and Swedish artist Sebastian Fronda

p) Do you live for art and culture ?

I don't understand art...

q) When you were a kid (let’s say up until 16) was your best friend someone from the opposite sex ?

Yes

r) Do you feel your day is worthless if you haven’t been to the gym or did you have a phase like that ?

I've gone through phases like that. I've stopped going to the gym about a month ago when school started (taking five upper division classes and working to boot!

It’s morning here and I’m all fresh with some Extra bold questions:

s) If you are a man have you had a pedicure or manicure more than once in your life ?

Only once... waste of money in my opinion.

t) On Facebook do you choose and change your display picture very carefully and/or photo-shop to hide any flaws….because you know you’re so perfect.

Nope

u) Are you an out and out or closeted narcissist ?

I'm closeted

v) Do you sometimes feel (or have you ever felt that way) that the world was created just so that you could be born in it ?  

Not necessarily... quite the existentialist question eh? LOL

- Dan

[spacebarsux]

u) Are you an out and out or closeted narcissist ?

I'm closeted

Not anymore. 

[OneTampa]

The results are in.  I'm a two-spirit human creation!

 

[alberche]

I want to say from the outset that this is strictly for fun and fun only. There is no homophobic agenda (overt or  tacit) or anything of the sort. The sole purpose is just to get some amusement out of silly clichés (some true for some, some not) surrounding being gay as a ‘sexual identity’.  Ann, I hope I am allowed to do this and am not breaking any rules here (?). I really hope this doesn’t descend into a homophobic rant contest, cos that’s really not how I mean it- just some fun (within limits of course).  

Ok so I am trying to make a FUN test on how gay someone is without bringing up a single question relating to physical attraction for the same sex. Feel free to add/amend/demolish /recreate and/or answer these questions.

Here goes (in no particular order):-

a)  Are you or have you ever been a big (HUGE) fan of any of the following:
   
     Madonna, Kylie Minogue, Lady GaGa, Rihanna      All but Rihanna... is that a YES?

b) In high school were you an avid sportsperson? Were you on any of the sports teams?  YES (bike, voleyball) (well, true, voley is a bit girly, isn't it?)

c) Did you prefer languages to mathematics in school ? YES (I speak spanish, a bit english, french, catalan, portuguese, italian...)

d) Did/do you secretly think you're way more posh than all of your peers ? NO (I'd rahter see myself as Camp with no doubt)

e)  Were/are you a Sex and the City fan? YES

f) Did you like Devil Wears Prada ? YES

g) Do you own a pair of red shoes ? NO (do apply a pair of green ones?)

h) While talking do you move your arms and roll your eyes a little more than the average person ? NO



That's it for now.....

Edited to add:-

I added these questions in two later posts but some people seem to have missed them so I am adding them here:


i) Do you use words such as  ‘fabulous’, ‘charming’ and ‘exquisite’ a little too much ?  NO, that's too posh for me!

j) Do you ever step out of your house without checking the mirror at least 3 times ? NO, never 

k) Do you have a penchant for fashion- of any kind, shape or form ? NO not at all, not enough money for that

l) f you had to choose, would you watch a show on home interiors over Top Gear ? TOP GEAR no doubt, I love cars!!!

m) Does your bathroom sink resemble the side-shelf of a major cosmetic store? NO, I use only one thing as shampoo and bath gel (can't remember brand), only one kind of cheap deodorant and, the only gayly thing could be moisturizing cream: Intellence obliges.

n) Do you count calories in your food intake? Do you go on strange 'no-carbs after 6 pm' diets or other weird variations?  NO, not at all, all that is too expensive for me!

o) Do you like House and pop music and despise rap and hard-rock ? HOUSE

p) Do you live for art and culture ? NO, also too expensive  , I read a lot, though!

q) When you were a kid (let’s say up until 16) was your best friend someone from the opposite sex ? NO, I love girls, but never got to understand them...

r) Do you feel your day is worthless if you haven’t been to the gym or did you have a phase like that ? NO, I like going yo gym, but not at that point

It’s morning here and I’m all fresh with some Extra bold questions:

s) If you are a man have you had a pedicure or manicure more than once in your life ? NO, I do it at home, again, too expensive. OMG!!! being gay is too expensive!!!

t) On Facebook do you choose and change your display picture very carefully and/or photo-shop to hide any flaws….because you know you’re so perfect. NO

u) Are you an out and out or closeted narcissist ? Some point in the middle, I guess...

v) Do you sometimes feel (or have you ever felt that way) that the world was created just so that you could be born in it ?   NO, I often feel as an allien!!!

------------

To stress again:- I HOPE NO ONE IS OFFENDED BY THESE QUESTIONS COS THIS WHOLE THING IS NOTHING MORE THAN PLAYING ON (AND GETTING A LAUGH OUT OF) RIDICULOUS CLICHES , STEREOTYPES AND OTHER ECCENTRIC PRATTLE.

[Raf]

I always fail on these tests, LOL XD

a)  Are you or have you ever been a big (HUGE) fan of any of the following:
   
     Madonna, Kylie Minogue, Lady GaGa, Rihanna      

Maybe only Kylie, but I liked madonna during 80s and 90s

b) In high school were you an avid sportsperson? Were you on any of the sports teams?

Nope, total nerd that didn't know anything about exercise until I was 15 and joined a gym

c) Did you prefer languages to mathematics in school ?

Nope, in fact, being an engineer, I kinda like Math.

d) Did/do you secretly think you're way more posh than all of your peers ?

Posh?? what the hell is posh?

e)  Were/are you a Sex and the City fan?

No

f) Did you like Devil Wears Prada ?

No

g) Do you own a pair of red shoes ?

No, but I plan to. Sometime in the future I'll get a pair of black and red shoes

h) While talking do you move your arms and roll your eyes a little more than the average person ?

Sometimes I roll my eyes without noticing it


I added these questions in two later posts but some people seem to have missed them so I am adding them here:


i) Do you use words such as  ‘fabulous’, ‘charming’ and ‘exquisite’ a little too much ?

No, I don't like these words

j) Do you ever step out of your house without checking the mirror at least 3 times ?

Again, nope. but I should. Even though being bald I don't have too much hair to take care, LOL

k) Do you have a penchant for fashion- of any kind, shape or form ?

Nope

l) f you had to choose, would you watch a show on home interiors over Top Gear ?

Top Gear? that's the SNES racing game? LOL, I don't watch any of these programs

m) Does your bathroom sink resemble the side-shelf of a major cosmetic store?

Nope

n) Do you count calories in your food intake? Do you go on strange 'no-carbs after 6 pm' diets or other weird variations?

If I'm lucky I see the exp date from the cans  

o) Do you like House and pop music and despise rap and hard-rock ?

My favs are rock and metal, but some pop don't hurt too much. But house and the like...that's not for me.

p) Do you live for art and culture ?

No

q) When you were a kid (let’s say up until 16) was your best friend someone from the opposite sex ?

No. Not too good making friends (before, and after Dx)

r) Do you feel your day is worthless if you haven’t been to the gym or did you have a phase like that ?

Yeah, I have that phase, and when I return (again) to the gym I'll probably feel like that.

It’s morning here and I’m all fresh with some Extra bold questions

s) If you are a man have you had a pedicure or manicure more than once in your life ?

Nop, not once.

t) On Facebook do you choose and change your display picture very carefully and/or photo-shop to hide any flaws….because you know you’re so perfect.

My facebook profile is almost empty   . Good way to stay in the closet.

u) Are you an out and out or closeted narcissist ?

I don't feel like a narcissist at all

v) Do you sometimes feel (or have you ever felt that way) that the world was created just so that you could be born in it ?  

Nah, world is world

[aztecan]

Here goes (in no particular order):-

a)  Are you or have you ever been a big (HUGE) fan of any of the following:
   
     Madonna, Kylie Minogue, Lady GaGa, Rihanna   Who? Sorry, wrong generation. How about Barbra Streisand, Bette Midler and, of course, the incomperable Judy Garland.

b) In high school were you an avid sportsperson? Were you on any of the sports teams?  Wrestling (what, you expected football?)

c) Did you prefer languages to mathematics in school ?  Yes.

d) Did/do you secretly think you're way more posh than all of your peers ? Moi?

e)  Were/are you a Sex and the City fan?  No

f) Did you like Devil Wears Prada ?  No

g) Do you own a pair of red shoes ?  No

h) While talking do you move your arms and roll your eyes a little more than the average person ?  Who wants to be average?

I added these questions in two later posts but some people seem to have missed them so I am adding them here:


i) Do you use words such as  ‘fabulous’, ‘charming’ and ‘exquisite’ a little too much ?  You can't use those words too much.  

j) Do you ever step out of your house without checking the mirror at least 3 times ? Nowadays, I hang curtains over the mirrors.

k) Do you have a penchant for fashion- of any kind, shape or form ?  Leather.

l) f you had to choose, would you watch a show on home interiors over Top Gear ? What is Top Gear?

m) Does your bathroom sink resemble the side-shelf of a major cosmetic store?  No

n) Do you count calories in your food intake? Do you go on strange 'no-carbs after 6 pm' diets or other weird variations? Heavens no!

o) Do you like House and pop music and despise rap and hard-rock ? I really don't like any of them.

p) Do you live for art and culture ? Live for it, no. Enjoy it immensely and think its FABULOUS? Absolutely.

q) When you were a kid (let’s say up until 16) was your best friend someone from the opposite sex ? No
r) Do you feel yo
ur day is worthless if you haven’t been to the gym or did you have a phase like that ? No

It’s morning here and I’m all fresh with some Extra bold questions:

s) If you are a man have you had a pedicure or manicure more than once in your life ?  No

t) On Facebook do you choose and change your display picture very carefully and/or photo-shop to hide
any flaws….because you know you’re so perfect.  No

u) Are you an out and out or closeted narcissist ? I know perfection when I see it.

v) Do you sometimes feel (or have you ever felt that way) that the world was created just so that you could be born in it ?    Not after watching Chas Bono on Dancing with the Stars.

[Ann]

For those of you who don't know, Top Gear is a British (BBC) program about everything to do with cars. There is also an American version -  Top Gear USA - now in its second season.

[leatherman]

this article has 20 "real" questions to determine if you're really gay or not 
http://blogs.babble.com/strollerderby/2011/09/26/your-son-is-gay/#more-88774

An Android app available in France claims to let you know whether or not ton fils est homo by answering a few simple, stereotypical questions.  This isn’t the first gay app to make the news (and I’m not even counting Grindr, which now has a tamer, straighter, ahem, “partner” app called Blendr, in case you like looking for love in all the wrong places).  You may remember that back in March, Apple discontinued the “gay cure” app created by Exodus International because it violated their anti-hate speech policy

[mecch]

Larry David solved the is your son gay question lickety split.  He meets his girlfriend's son who is a real charmer and flamer.  Mother is "in denial".  Forced to bring the boy a birthday present for the next visit, he gives the kid a sewing machine.  Screams of delight.  

(There is also the little meta thrill. Cause the actor playing the boy does a very borscht belt via the Producers mincing kind of gay impersonation. It's shirley temple mixed with Uncle Miltie.)

I loved that show.  Cause Larry is kind to the boy and sees him right away for who he is and has fun being with him.  And he gets to be mean and aggressive to the adults who can't deal with the boy (and therefore are themselves self-centered and totally disrespectful).

Of course the final insult to Larry is that by chance when they first meet, the boy asked larry what a swastika is that larry was doodling.   So in the last scene, when Larry is forced to give the boy a straight boy gift, the boy produces a ruffled pillow sham with a swastika applique.  Larry's girlfriend is horrified and will have to break up with larry.  

Poor kid.  Could use a few more larry's in his life!

[spacebarsux]

Ever tried anything even remotely close to this: http://youtu.be/YWkw8nHJ0qY ?  

'remotely' can be defined as per your fantastic imagination.

PS- RevMoon gets the credit for finding it. I just shamelessly nicked it from the other thread.

[GSOgymrat]

oops, tried to post a link I can't get to work.

[Andy Velez]

Me too, GSO. Was going to post the jacket cover of a book I picked up at a street fair last weekend: WHAT BECOMES A LEGEND MOST - The Blackglama Story.

How gay is that. LOL LOL

Couldn't get the link to work on that one either. While I was browsing in the book I was thinking of how perfect it would be for this thread. That is for anyone who even knows or remembers the Blackglama campaign.

[denb45]

u mean THIS:   http://www.antiqbook.nl/boox/clio/1490.shtml


AVEDON, RICHARD & BILL KING, PHOTOGRAPHS; PETER ROGERS, TEXT, What becomes a legend most. The Blackglama story.
Photographs by Richard Avedon and Bill King. Introduction by Erla Zwingle. New York, Simon and Schuster, (1978). 31x23 cm. H.cloth, dustwrapper (sl.wear). 94 pp., with black & white photographs Avedon and King, advertisements for Blackglama mink coats by many legendary faces: Lauren Bacall, Melina Mercouri, Bette Davis, Barbra Streisand, Judy Garland, Joan Crawford and many others 

Now I'm really GAY 

[Andy Velez]

Datz the one, Den.

Next thing you know, you may find me making cutout dolls. Like I did secretly way back when...

[denb45]

Datz the one, Den.

Next thing you know, you may find me making cutout dolls. Like I did secretly way back when...

  My Twin sister had Barbie dolls & I had G.I. Joe's when we were kids  my G.I  Joe's would beat the hell outta Ken, and steal barbie away    and my sister use to condone this behavior  really says a lot about her huh?

[aztecan]

My Twin sister had Barbie dolls & I had G.I. Joe's when we were kids  my G.I  Joe's would beat the hell outta Ken, and steal barbie away    and my sister use to condone this behavior  really says a lot about her huh?

Maybe she just likes a man in uniform. 

[denb45]

Maybe she just likes a man in uniform.  

Yeah, well maybe back then she did, but, she married a Real-Estate Broker 30 yrs. ago, go figure that one out  

[Bucko]

A tad late to the party, but here goes nothing  

*   *   *    *    *

Here goes (in no particular order):-

a)  Are you or have you ever been a big (HUGE) fan of any of the following:
  
     Madonna, Kylie Minogue, Lady GaGa, Rihanna    

When it first came out, my then-ex and I went to see Truth or Dare in the theater and spent the entire time gripping each others' arms, occasionally weeping spontaneously: seriously. And while I *love* Bad Romance, in general I thing GaGa tries much too hard. RiRi is hardly an Icon, and Minogue was never my bag of turnips

b) In high school were you an avid sportsperson? Were you on any of the sports teams?

No, but I had a "Drama Jock" pin on my winter coat.

c) Did you prefer languages to mathematics in school ?

Absolument: claro!

d) Did/do you secretly think you're way more posh than all of your peers ?

Nah: I ran with a fierce crowd.

e)  Were/are you a Sex and the City fan?

Nope.

f) Did you like Devil Wears Prada ?

The Streep was brilliant, but I'm no fan of The Hathaway, thanks.

g) Do you own a pair of red shoes ?

I have not only rocked red shoes forever, but at one point I owned a pair of fuscia ostrich shoes; they looked best with gray or olive drab  

h) While talking do you move your arms and roll your eyes a little more than the average person ?

Oh yeah  



That's it for now..... Grin

Edited to add:-

I added these questions in two later posts but some people seem to have missed them so I am adding them here:


i) Do you use words such as  ‘fabulous’, ‘charming’ and ‘exquisite’ a little too much ?

Of course, plus brilliant: everything's either brilliant or tawdry.

j) Do you ever step out of your house without checking the mirror at least 3 times ?

Frequently: perfection rarely needs adjustment, and I'm not vain  

k) Do you have a penchant for fashion- of any kind, shape or form ?

Menswear, yes

l) f you had to choose, would you watch a show on home interiors over Top Gear ?

I don't watch TV.

m) Does your bathroom sink resemble the side-shelf of a major cosmetic store?

No. I keep a rather simple toilette.

n) Do you count calories in your food intake? Do you go on strange 'no-carbs after 6 pm' diets or other weird variations?

Hell no!

o) Do you like House and pop music and despise rap and hard-rock ?

I prefer post-punk and alternative to either house or hard rock, but loves me my trance.

p) Do you live for art and culture ?

Doesn't everyone?

q) When you were a kid (let’s say up until 16) was your best friend someone from the opposite sex ?

No: he was another gay boy.

r) Do you feel your day is worthless if you haven’t been to the gym or did you have a phase like that ?

Once upon a lifetime, maybe

It’s morning here and I’m all fresh with some Extra bold questions:

s) If you are a man have you had a pedicure or manicure more than once in your life ?

I do my own, thanks.

t) On Facebook do you choose and change your display picture very carefully and/or photo-shop to hide any flaws….because you know you’re so perfect.

Nah

u) Are you an out and out or closeted narcissist ?


How quickly they forget

v) Do you sometimes feel (or have you ever felt that way) that the world was created just so that you could be born in it ?  Grin

Oddly: yes, I have.

[Andy Velez]

Great to hear from you, Bucko. As always a pleasure to get your take on whatever.

[Miss Philicia]

link

‘Is My Son Gay’ was released early last week, causing an uproar on Twitter and a host of line comments hat slammed it for being homophobic and relying on stereotypes.

The app posed 20 questions, including ‘does he care about how he dresses?’ and ‘does he read the sport pages?’. It then offered three results; ‘gay’, ‘normal and modern’ and ‘not gay’. The last option assured mothers they ‘did not have to worry’ because they would have grandchildren.

On Monday, the app page was no longer available on Android Market. A representative of the company that developed it, Emmene-moi, told SBS that Google had pulled it from the site unilaterally.

Google has declined to comment.

Android Central, a website that offers news and reviews on Google and Android products, was quick to distance itself from the app after a barrage of tweetes erroneously blamed it for the app.

“Demand that @Google & @AndroidCentral dump homophobic “Is My Son #Gay?” app NOW, no excuses! #LGBT,” the tweets said.

[mecch]

About those aps...

I would guess the writers of the ap know its a silly quiz and just wanted to make some money selling an ap. I think these aps are like quizzes in magazines - 10 ways to tell if your Husband is cheating on you....  Are You a Romantic?  etc etc.   Nobody takes these too seriously. If they do, sad.  But we've all done little quizzes like this just out of fun or because they address something that is nagging us a bit.  

Media pundits need a reality check and not throw these big hissy fits because of some silly ap.


Since I'm a big fruit and not a parent, I guess I'll never know what it feels like for a straight parent to wonder about his/her kids.  On that note, I'm gonna ask my mom about that next time I visit.  When she realised and what she thought. That would have been the 70's.

I do remember there was big pressure to keep me developing and doing stuff like most boys.  And usually only a little bit of annoyance when I was being kind of girly.  Sometimes the don't be girly would really flame up but it was rare.   I guess because I did all the boy stuff too, enough to satisfy everyones anxiety!   I must have been exhausted!  

(One of my first battles was quitting that god awful little league. I hated baseball and sucked at it.  Sucking at boring sport - it was torture!  I think I fought two years to be able to quit but I had to trade off and started soccer, which at the time was very hush hush and played in far away fields in ethnic neighborhoods.  That changed quite quickly and by the time I was in HS, it was popular and rivaled football in HS for a popular fall sport. Thank my lucky stars by then I was good at it and even liked it!  Also, I loved playing football but I really wasnt all that tough enough to survive Pop Warner play, so soccer to the rescue!)

"Acting like a boy" pressure didn't just come from my parents and I knew that, it came from everywhere, and eventually myself, cause thats the worldview that I was growing up in.

Kids must have it a bit easier nowadays that there are all kinds of different gender roles and sexualities visible.  

Which makes it so dire when you hear about those places where heterosexuality or gender roles are still so oppressively enforced that kids kill themselves over the bullying.

One editorial I saw about the French ap was that if the parent is drawn to the ap, he could rather just ask his kid if he likes boys.  I dunno. I'm sure this will be entirely dependent on the age of the kid, the family and the context, as to whether direct confrontation is the way to go.  Im sure some parents wonder, or know, but decide its better just to wait for the kid to take his time.  It must be a fine line, a juggling act. I mean the parent would want to swoop in if the kid seems tortured over sexuality, or is bullied, so of course more direct involvement.  

I guess the best would be parents showing by example that being gay is ok, in the world.  There are certainly enough gay people out and about in the world, and in popular culture that the parents have plenty of opportunities to express their opinion and value that gay people are normal and no problem.  

This is kind of a blunt and imperfect analogy, but I distinctly remember some of my aunts and uncles and cousins were casually racist in the 60's and 70's but my dad make a point of showing his different values.  But he was kind of a casual homophobe, until the 90's when all the gay people showed up everywhere in public life and popular culture and I had already been out for awhile, and then he was never homophobe again.

[mecch]

You Gotta Be a Football Hero Popeye

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1dX76Opld_4

[Ann]

Since I'm a big fruit and not a parent, I guess I'll never know what it feels like for a straight parent to wonder about his/her kids.

This straight parent got it right:

“Mommy, they are just like me.”

My oldest son is six years old and in love for the first time.  He is in love with Blaine from Glee.

For those who don’t know Blaine is a boy…a gay boy, the boyfriend of one of the main characters, Kurt.

This isn’t a ‘he thinks Blaine is really cool’ kind of love.  It is a mooning at a picture of Blaine’s face for a half hour followed by a wistful “He’s so pretty” kind of love.

He loves the episode where two boys kiss.  My son will call people in from other parts of the house to make sure they don’t miss his ‘favorite part.’  He’s been known to rewind it and watch it over again…and force other to, as well, if he doesn’t think people have been paying enough attention.

This infatuation doesn’t bother me or his father.  We live in a very hip-liberal neighborhood, many of our friends are gay, and idea of having a gay son isn’t something that bothers either of us.  Our son is going to be who he is, and it is our job to love him.  End of story.

He is also six.  Six year olds get obsessed with all kinds of things.  This might not mean anything at all.  We always joke that he’s either gay, or we have the best blackmail material in the history of mankind when he’s a 16 year old straight boy. (Take that naked bath time pictures!)

Then the other day we were traveling across the state listening to the Warblers album (of course), and in the middle of Candles, my son pipes up from the back seat.

“Mommy, Kurt and Blaine are boyfriends.”

“Yes, they are,” I affirm.

“They don’t like kissing girls.  They just kiss boys.”

“That’s true.”

“Mommy, they are just like me.”

“That’s great, baby.  You know I love you no matter what?”

“I know…” I could hear him rolling his eyes at me.

When we got home I recapped this conversation to his Dad, and we stood simply looking into each other’s eyes for a moment.  Then we smiled.

“So if at 16 he wants to make a big announcement at the dinner table, we can say ‘You told us when you were six.  Pass the carrots’ and he’ll be disappointed we stole his big dramatic moment,” my husband says with a laugh and hugs me.

Only time will tell if my son is gay, but if he is I am glad he’s mine.  I am glad he has been born into our family.  A family full of people who will love and accept him.  People who will never want him to change.  With parents who will look forward to dancing at his wedding.

And I have to admit, Blaine would be a really cute son-in-law. source

I wish all gay children had mothers and families like his. The world would be a much kinder place.

[Miss Philicia]

Nice blurb, Ann. Yes it would be nice if all parents were like that, but it's progress I suppose that there are more and more of them, even if confined to certain areas.

My older brother and wife were a bit like that when my youngest niece was growing into pre-puberty (she's 16 now so it's been a while) and she was very, very tomboy-ish. They were very conscious of never trying to alter this proclivity.

All of my child-bearing hetero friends back in NYC are like this too. It just depends on how your exposure is to the topic before having kids. I'm sure my experience is quite atypical, unfortunately.

[spacebarsux]

We live in a very hip-liberal neighborhood, many of our friends are gay, and idea of having a gay son isn’t something that bothers either of us.
 

Parents like this are almost unheard of in my part of the world and that probably has at least a little bit to do with the fact that hip-liberal 'gay friendly' neighbourhoods are practically nonexistent. But things are changing, ever so slightly, but truly and thankfully.

Kinda ironic that prudish attitudes are all pervasive in the land of Kamasutra.

[GSOgymrat]

I wish all gay children had mothers and families like his. The world would be a much kinder place.

Check out the Whittericks of Toronto who decided to raise the child "Storm" as a genderless baby.

“So it’s a boy, right?” a neighbour calls out as Kathy Witterick walks by, her four month old baby, Storm, strapped to her chest in a carrier.
 
Each week the woman asks the same question about the baby with the squishy cheeks and feathery blond hair.
 
Witterick smiles, opens her arms wide, comments on the sunny spring day, and keeps walking.
 
She’s used to it. The neighbours know Witterick and her husband, David Stocker, are raising a genderless baby. But they don’t pretend to understand it.
 
While there’s nothing ambiguous about Storm’s genitalia, they aren’t telling anyone whether their third child is a boy or a girl.
 
The only people who know are Storm’s brothers, Jazz, 5, and Kio, 2, a close family friend and the two midwives who helped deliver the baby in a birthing pool at their Toronto home on New Year’s Day.
 
“When the baby comes out, even the people who love you the most and know you so intimately, the first question they ask is, ‘Is it a girl or a boy?’” says Witterick, bouncing Storm, dressed in a red-fleece jumper, on her lap at the kitchen table.
 
“If you really want to get to know someone, you don’t ask what’s between their legs,” says Stocker.
 
When Storm was born, the couple sent an email to friends and family: “We've decided not to share Storm's sex for now — a tribute to freedom and choice in place of limitation, a stand up to what the world could become in Storm's lifetime (a more progressive place? ...).”
 
Their announcement was met with stony silence. Then the deluge of criticisms began. Not just about Storm, but about how they were parenting their other two children.
 
The grandparents were supportive, but resented explaining the gender-free baby to friends and co-workers. They worried the children would be ridiculed. Friends said they were imposing their political and ideological values on a newborn. Most of all, people said they were setting their kids up for a life of bullying in a world that can be cruel to outsiders.
 
Witterick and Stocker believe they are giving their children the freedom to choose who they want to be, unconstrained by social norms about males and females. Some say their choice is alienating. ...

http://www.parentcentral.ca/parent/babiespregnancy/babies/article/995112--parents-keep-child-s-gender-secret

[mecch]

I love the mom of the boy whos in love with the glee boys.

The parents of Storm, well, I dont have enough information by that article, but whats the point. This seems like some kind of PARENT DECIDED experiment on a child who does not yet have free will and whos parents are denying the kid's chance to develop it.  Very B.F. Skinner, which I find rather a fascist and self-centered way of parenting.  

Whats the matter with a kid knowing his or her gender?  And other people know it.  There are only a few:  boy, girl and non determinate because of nondeterminate genitalia.  Add to that, kids who realise they are biologically one sex, but feel like the other.  Such as Chaz Bono.  So I don't see the point in denying a kid a frame of reference.  I get the point that the parents may think "gender roles" should be questioned, but really, from a point of reference.  The kid has to be one of the above. Boy or girl, in most cases, and in a few, something in between.  There is NO information in the above article about whether the kid is him/herself feeling that gender should be questioned.

The experiment reminds me of parents who "home school", which I also think is a total power play by narcissistic parents. Kids have a right to be socialized and educated in the same damn normal route as the other kids in their culture.

[mecch]

Parents like this are almost unheard of in my part of the world and that probably has at least a little bit to do with the fact that hip-liberal 'gay friendly' neighbourhoods are practically nonexistent. But things are changing, ever so slightly, but truly and thankfully.

Kinda ironic that prudish attitudes are all pervasive in the land of Kamasutra.

Things have got to be changing cause I have met young people who are "cool" about gay/lesbian issues.  Meaning even more than knowing how to talk the "international liberal" talk, they genuinely feel cool.  From India, Saudi Arabia, Iran, Afghanistan, all of North Africa.  But yeah they are mostly middle class kids and yeah studying or working in Europe so its a special group. Some black african young men have expressed less cool opinions publically, but I've seen the young women from their countries laugh directly in their faces, about their macho homophobia and their false claims about the paucity of gays and lesbians in their countries.

Also when I lived in New York and was not a teacher, I knew and was close friends with several Sikhs and
found them warm, accepting and not homophobic.

[klassykitty]

everyone else took it so I had to.
a)  Are you or have you ever been a big (HUGE) fan of any of the following:
    Madonna, Kylie Minogue, Lady GaGa, Rihanna
Madonna, I only hear Lady GaGa and Rihanna in my car radio.   


b) In high school were you an avid sportsperson? Were you on any of the sports teams?
Went to the games.


c) Did you prefer languages to mathematics in school ?
No, math was best subject


d) Did/do you secretly think you're way more posh than all of your peers ?
No

e)  Were/are you a Sex and the City fan?
Never saw it

f) Did you like Devil Wears Prada ?
Yes

g) Do you own a pair of red shoes ?
I used to, they were really high heels and my friend Lou had to show me how to walk in them.

h) While talking do you move your arms and roll your eyes a little more than the average person ?
Yes
That's it for now.....

Edited to add:-

I added these questions in two later posts but some people seem to have missed them so I am adding them here:


i) Do you use words such as  ‘fabulous’, ‘charming’ and ‘exquisite’ a little too much ?
Only if it's describing a man's chest

j) Do you ever step out of your house without checking the mirror at least 3 times ?
yes

k) Do you have a penchant for fashion- of any kind, shape or form ?
No

l) f you had to choose, would you watch a show on home interiors over Top Gear ?
Never saw Top Gear so probably.

m) Does your bathroom sink resemble the side-shelf of a major cosmetic store?
Kind of, not a lot of makeup but some

n) Do you count calories in your food intake? Do you go on strange 'no-carbs after 6 pm' diets or other weird variations?
No

o) Do you like House and pop music and despise rap and hard-rock ?
I listen to all kinds of music, but rap

p) Do you live for art and culture ?
Like it but don't live for it

q) When you were a kid (let’s say up until 16) was your best friend someone from the opposite sex ?
Yes

r) Do you feel your day is worthless if you haven’t been to the gym or did you have a phase like that ?
No

It’s morning here and I’m all fresh with some Extra bold questions:

s) If you are a man have you had a pedicure or manicure more than once in your life ?
While I am a girl I have never had a pedicure and only one manicure

t) On Facebook do you choose and change your display picture very carefully and/or photo-shop to hide any flaws….because you know you’re so perfect.
No

u) Are you an out and out or closeted narcissist ?
Closet

v) Do you sometimes feel (or have you ever felt that way) that the world was created just so that you could be born in it ?
No

Would bite into Brad Pitts flesh anytime and Beckham is way better then Cruise.  I also have never seen Glee  so don't know about the one story posted by Ann.
I read about the other story, and think those parents are wacky

[spacebarsux]

Things have got to be changing cause I have met young people who are "cool" about gay/lesbian issues.  Meaning even more than knowing how to talk the "international liberal" talk, they genuinely feel cool.  From India, Saudi Arabia, Iran, Afghanistan, all of North Africa.  But yeah they are mostly middle class kids and yeah studying or working in Europe so its a special group. Some black african young men have expressed less cool opinions publically, but I've seen the young women from their countries laugh directly in their faces, about their macho homophobia and their false claims about the paucity of gays and lesbians in their countries.

Also when I lived in New York and was not a teacher, I knew and was close friends with several Sikhs and
found them warm, accepting and not homophobic.

Yes, speaking for India, attitudes are changing very rapidly albeit primarily in the big cities and amongst the educated middle class (like you said), however the usual stereotypes/clichés/ misinformation is commonplace and the majority of people (who are not the urban English-speaking middle class) are ignorant about what it means to be homosexual or think of it as a taboo subject that doesn’t merit discussion for it is largely irrelevant to their lives (or so they think).

 In the last decade or so there has been a conspicuous increase in the visibility of gay people/issues/ themes on TV as well as in Bollywood movies and such- this was unheard of even in the 90’s. In Pakistan and in India, 2 separate and equally popular, talk shows were hosted by cross-dressers.  (I personally don’t like the fact that such shows reinforce stereotypes and consequently prejudices, but that’s me). Gay themes are pretty common as side stories in many popular Hindi movies and just recently there was a mainstream Hindi movie about 2 gay men in a relationship set in present-day Bombay (and there have been some others in the recent past too). In the last 5-6 years or so, there have been Gay-Pride Marches in Delhi, Bombay, Calcutta and Bangalorel. All big cities in India have ‘gay nights’ in certain bars and clubs but there isn’t a single gay bar or gay-nightclub in the whole of India (I would have found out otherwise  ).  Also, the aggressive, violent type of homophobia is extremely rare in India. One never hears of gay bashings and such, but that may be (at least partly)  due to the fact that there are not many openly gay men walking the streets (?).  India does, however, have a rich tradition and history of very visible cross-dressers/ transsexuals/ transvestites known as "Hijras" who are marginalized and tend live at the fringes of society.  

That said, we have a very long way to go.  The Delhi High Court only legalized ‘gay sex’ in 2009 and until then it was technically illegal and one could have been imprisoned for it according to the statute books. Although the law only existed on paper and formal arrests were exceptionally rare and largely unheard of (even prior to 2009), many gay people were harassed by the authorities- particularly the poor in rural areas.  More than arresting for the ‘act of gay sex’ per se, the police tended to use the 'dirty secret' as leverage to  blackmail and extort money- if they saw 2 guys making out in a car or in the bushes.  

When I was collecting data for an article that I wrote on ‘Perceptions of Male Sexuality in South Asia’, what became apparent was that most people (including a very large percentage of gay/bi men) view gay sex or romantic love and affection for the same sex as something that is ‘only for fun’, ‘an escape’, and ‘must be done clandestinely’, ‘who I fuck is no one’s business but mine and is not in any way my identity’- or something on similar lines. It’s almost as though, everyone knows it happens, but it suits all if it’s hidden away form the public eye and of course parents would be especially pleased about the fact that their son is ‘normal’ and marries a girl and has children- like all sons must (for that is a son’s duty). A son is also meant to live with his parents as they age and look after them- the bride typically comes and lives in the husband’s house with his parents (While these traditional customs are changing swiftly and a  lot of people move out and live separately, such customs are still the norm for the majority of Indians).  These cultural pressures cannot be understated.

The importance of having a family and not hurting one’s family (i.e. parents ) almost always overrides the sexual and romantic inclinations for a large chunk of gay men (I think ‘most’ gay men in South Asia and the Middle East).  

In this exceedingly complex and fragmented socio-cultural environment, I find it least surprising that religious loons and right wing politicians take advantage of the situation and label ‘homosexuality’ as an import of Western Culture (although if one were to view it narrowly, it can be argued that being an out and proud gay man is a Western notion, but I think that is also the correct and dignified way to live)- for it’s so easy to do that when almost all gay men directly affected by such nonsensical statements lack a spine to stand up for themselves in fear tarnishing their family name or being publicly outed or whatever.

Mecch, this might be a wholly unnecessary clarification to make, but I feel compelled to say that you can’t lump India with Afghanistan, Saudi Arabia and Iran in any sentence. Despite all it’s flaws and shortcomings, India is secular, has no State religion and is the world’s largest democracy. Freedom of speech and the right to equality are enshrined in the Constitution and guaranteed to everyone regardless of what religion they practice or who they go to bed with- not something Islamic theocracies can boast of. All of these factors greatly influence the shaping of public opinion on homosexuality as well.

[mecch]

No problem, that as a list of regions that send students to my swiss university, not a list of similar countries/regions.  

Interestingly, students from Cameroon seem to come from extended families in which many members have Masters or Phds, more so than other students from other countries, but I have seen more homophobia expressed.  The need to say one thing and the need for secrecy is must strong in this country.  

There are some gay / lesbian issues on a list of debate topics i've used a couple of times. The swiss guys picked "gay parenting" and moroccan women were never on the pro team. But iranian guys were.  

Its all mixed up!  But lots of movement clearly all over the world.

[Since2005]

It is funny to see only two months ago when I was explaining my cultural dilemma some said that they understood because they came from the same region and only two months later tone has changed and its been said that no “we” are more progressive. I would probably pick my boat and stay on it. No doubt, India is the most progressive country in south Asia, just stay that way and don't claim to say you 'understand' cuz you are from same culture cuz now you are saying you are not. Space, to be honest, I was very confused with the bisexuality (or somersault) thread as I was hearing one thing about bisexuality one time and next thing it was a different opinion about the same topic. I am sorry to bring this up from another thread but I am making a point here as it gets very confusing if you don’t stay with your opinion.

Meech, I do agree things are changing. The SALGA (South Asian Lesbian and Gay Association) is an organization that is run in NYC and is run by the mostly Indians but anyone from South Asia can join there. Things are changing rapidly on views of gay sexuality and how people look at things. Now we are seeing second and third generations of South Asians (I am being specific as I know them better) living in the states and things got to change. However, there are A LOTS of people are still same bigot as they were fifty years ago. I am sorry to break the news for you!

Ann, When I read that blog of yours about the straight parents I almost cried into tears. I know how lucky the kid is.  I would not have wasted so many years of mine just hiding if I had them as my parents. But, sometimes, I think it is only me who should I blame for ignoring best of my years. Do you know I could not even take pictures of myself for years and years, did not do face books, etc just to hide from others. It's very sad. The kid is very lucky. If I were straight/If I ever had a kid I want to be just like the kid's parents. That's how it should be!

[spacebarsux]

It is funny to see only two months ago when I was explaining my cultural dilemma some said that they understood because they came from the same region and only two months later tone has changed and its been said that no “we” are more progressive. I would probably pick my boat and stay on it. No doubt, India is the most progressive country in south Asia, just stay that way and don't claim to say you 'understand' cuz you are from same culture cuz now you are saying you are not. Space, to be honest, I was very confused with the bisexuality (or somersault) thread as I was hearing one thing about bisexuality one time and next thing it was a different opinion about the same topic. I am sorry to bring this up from another thread but I am making a point here as it gets very confusing if you don’t stay with your opinion.

Huh? There is a clear distinction between my views and opinions on sexuality and what actually happens in practice (which I stated in my previous post here) and like others have said everyone deals with these things differently so you are obviously free to disagree with my opinion.

About India being more progressive (with respect to gay rights and attitudes relating thereto) than Islamic States such as Iran, Saudi Arabia, or Afghanistan is a FACT and not my opinion. Besides, I don't even know which  country you're originally from Since, so I have no idea what you're so sensitive about. But if you are from a South Asian country, chances are that I would and do understand your cultural background a lot better than someone from Europe or the States- Just as someone from Canada can understand the American cultural context better than someone from Beijing.  Isn't that obvious ? India may be ahead of some Islamic States but we have a very long way to go still.

[mecch]

However, there are A LOTS of people are still same bigot as they were fifty years ago. I am sorry to break the news for you!

You are not breaking any news to me.
For every "pocket of liberal progressive lefties" in any country, there are certainly pockets of bigots.  That was the target of the It Gets Better Campaign in the good ol USA.  The last sad story was a boy who actually posted an It Gets Better Video by himself, and still went on to kill himself.

[Since2005]

The last sad story was a boy who actually posted an It Gets Better Video by himself, and still went on to kill himself.

That is a terrible story. You are right indicating earlier that things are changing for better. Now I see kids come out to their parents when they are in Junior High even.

Space, I was saying the same thing all along as India is ahead of the game in terms of gay issues comparing to the other South Asian countries. When I was explaining my cultural dilemma you seemed to be apprehensive as I recall you said you don’t understand since you came from same area. Now I wonder what has changed. When Pakistan or Afghanistan was compared with India you came back to indicate that those counties should not be compared with where you are from and I agree. See you did not agree at the beginning now you are saying different thing. That is the disconnection.

About the bisexuality or gay issues - As most of us were saying everyone is different as this issue is so complex that so you can’t pin point a single line. You knew you were gay ( or different) when you were 5. I did not know till I finished high school. Some said they did not know till they were 14/15. Then you came back and said Ann’s personal experience was inaccurate ( which I still wonder how one personal experience would be inaccurate when personal experience is personal experience) and then you jumped around saying one thing one time and switched back to some other thing contradicting yourself. That’s where my confusion is. You can’t just compare your experiences with others and say yours is accurate and others aren’t.

About your article on South Asian male sexuality/bisexuality-Please save that for your other audiences or speak for yourself. As a male from South Asia I don’t fall into to any of the categorization that you were inferring to. You were poorly stereotyping everyone. We all are different when it comes to sexuality. Please don’t get mixed up with the culture and sexuality.

I also think you have a thing about the word ‘sensitive’. If anyone doesn’t agree then you like to call him or her ‘sensitive’ (as you said that to me). Didn’t you call someone else the same , yes I remember the exact term ‘super sensitive bisexual’!

[spacebarsux]

That is a terrible story. You are right indicating earlier that things are changing for better. Now I see kids come out to their parents when they in Junior High even.

Space, I was saying the same thing all along as India is ahead of the game in terms of gay issues comparing to the other South Asian countries. When I was explaining my cultural dilemma you seemed to be apprehensive as I recall you said you don’t understand since you came from same area. Now I wonder what has changed. When Pakistan or Afghanistan was compared with India you came back to indicate that those counties should not be compared with where you are from and I agree. See you did not agree at the beginning now you are saying different thing. That is the disconnection.

About the bisexuality or gay issues - As most of us were saying everyone is different as this issue is so complex that so you can’t pin point a single line. You knew you were gay ( or different) when you were 5. I did not know till I finished high school. Some said they did not know till they were 14/15. Then you came back and said Ann’s personal experience was inaccurate ( which I still wonder how one personal experience would be inaccurate when personal experience is personal experience) and then you jumped around saying one thing one time and switched back to some other thing contradicting yourself. That’s where my confusion is. You can’t just compare your experiences with others and say yours is accurate and others aren’t.

About your article on South Asian male sexuality/bisexuality-Please save that for your other audiences or speak for yourself. As a male from South Asia I don’t fall into to any of the categorization that you were inferring to. You were poorly stereotyping everyone. We all are different when it comes to sexuality. Please don’t get mixed up with the culture and sexuality.

I also think you have a thing about the word ‘sensitive’. If anyone doesn’t agree then you like to call him or her ‘sensitive’ (as you said that to me). Didn’t you call someone else the same , yes I remember the exact term ‘super sensitive bisexual’!

Whatever. My long post in this thread was about attitudes relating to homosexuality in India, and my observations relating thereto (and I mentioned some stuff  from South Asian research studies). My clarification to Mecch was on the tiny point that it's inaccurate to club some countries together because despite the geographical proximity there are some major differences in the laws and also in societal attitudes.

But you are free to disagree with whatever, Since. You're are also very welcome to mix up 3 separate threads and point out imagined inconsistencies based on things stated in wholly different contexts, split hairs and start a hair-pulling contest- just to get your last word in.

I'm bored of this topic.

PS- And it would seem to me that you're exactly the South Asian Gay man the research pointed out- those who are very concerned about not hurting their family, choose to live in the closet and not be out and open. Not that I am saying that is a wrong or right thing for you, it just is the way it is. Or am I wrong ?

[Since2005]

My clarification to Mecch was on the tiny point that it's inaccurate to club some countries together because despite the geographical proximity there are some major differences in the laws and also in societal attitudes.

That exactly the point that I was making earlier and you seem to not getting that while I was explaining my cultural dilemma until Meech ‘clubbed’ those countries together despite the geographical proximity as you said. Your ‘tiny’ point on the clarification to Meech is NOT that tiny. That creates a huge (not tiny by any means) gap between you and me in terms of acceptance level to the society about the gay issues as well as HIV issues despite our similarity on the geographical location. I guess, I have made my point and I sure hope you got it!

PS- And it would seem to me that you're exactly the South Asian Gay man the research pointed out- those who are very concerned about not hurting their family, choose to live in the closet and not be out and open. Not that I am saying that is a wrong or right thing for you, it just is the way it is. Or am I wrong?

Isn't that obvious? That also could be true for those who are from ‘Iran or Africa’ or any other Non-Western countries for that matter where society exist as a whole. Individualism is not accepted, welcomed or practiced.

But you are free to disagree with whatever, Since. You're are also very welcome to mix up 3 separate threads and point out imagined inconsistencies based on things stated in wholly different contexts, split hairs and start a hair-pulling contest- just to get your last word in.

This thread itself is about gay and sexuality I had to refer to the other threads as I found inconsistency with your remarks on sexuality and culture (In this thread and in another threads). Inconsistencies not coming from my imagination rather coming from you and I am just pointing those out to you is all. If you want to be specific may be if you like I could present that to you with “citation” if you think that would help!

If you are bored with this topic, Its fine and I hate to beat around the bushes. I just hope that you would stick to your opinion and not switch back and forth from one thread to another and even from one comment to another at times.

[spacebarsux]

This thread itself is about gay and sexuality I had to refer to the other threads as I found inconsistency with your remarks on sexuality and culture (In this thread and in another threads). Inconsistencies not coming from my imagination rather coming from you and I am just pointing those out to is all. If you want to be specific may be if you like I could present that to you with “citation” if you think that would help!

If yot are bored with this topic. Its fine and I hate to beat around the bushes. I just hope that you would stick to your opinion and not switch back and forth from one thread to another and even from one comment to another at times.

There is a very clear difference in saying that a resident of India can better understand and relate to the culture of Bdesh or Pakistan (because of a common history and cultural heritage) and still maintain that India is more progressive than the other two regarding gay rights (Not that India is paradise for gays at all by any stretch though). I see no inconsistency in this and I don't even see where there is any contradiction.

Neither is there any inconsistency in my mind. If there is gap in what I want to convey and what others infer that has something to do with others cherry picking things I say and putting them out of context or my inability to be unequivocally clear.

[hope_for_a_cure]

Does it make me gay if I have lust in my heart only for the menz?