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Off Topic Forums => Off Topic Forum => Topic started by: red_Dragon888 on September 01, 2010, 05:26:44 am

Title: Worst Joke ever...
Post by: red_Dragon888 on September 01, 2010, 05:26:44 am
I was hanging with a friend and he was telling me how depressed he was.  That is when I told him of "Tony Robbin's" (the motivational speaker) trick of putting a rubber band on the wrist and snapping it when ever I had negative thoughts.  It was like negative reinforcement for I hate my wriast being snapped with a rubber band.  Now... after leaving my friend and waiting for a train some guy, a nerdy looking guy, said to me that he liked what I said and that his professor or somebody told him that "the only thing you should be negative to is a AIDS test."   I was shocked and stunned and I had a thought to say "too late I am already positive."  Are there many bad jokes about AIDS or being positive?  I wonder?
Title: Re: Worst Joke ever...
Post by: Basquo on September 01, 2010, 12:22:46 pm
I don't hear AIDS jokes like I did in the 80s (South Park aside) and I think a response along the lines of "Why don't you mind your own goddamned business, motherfucker?" would be entirely appropriate.
Title: Re: Worst Joke ever...
Post by: mecch on September 01, 2010, 12:55:36 pm
South Park aids jokes. They are too funny!  But that team's summit of really dark sarcasm was
Everyone's Got AIDS from Team America.  

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5yC7HwPh6Es

Not everyone can smile at this one, either:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=X2XEJOFgBUk&feature=related
"You have AIDS" Family Guy

When I hear AIDS jokes now among friends, people kind of freeze, cause I'm HIV+.  Will I laugh? Should they laugh?  Should people express PC horror?   It reminds me of the great scene in Guess Who's Coming to Dinner where Ashton Kutcher is pushed by a black family to tell all the black jokes he knows.  
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=f-vVlNV9IiY

I like when Joan Rivers and Kathy Griffin remind people that comics don't need to respect any limits.

But obviously strangers on train platforms aren't comics, so you just get a big FAIL.
Title: Re: Worst Joke ever...
Post by: OneTampa on September 01, 2010, 12:59:56 pm
And to give Basquo's snap additional heft, follow with ..." Oh, that's right. You didn't and you do..."

Title: Re: Worst Joke ever...
Post by: skeebo1969 on September 01, 2010, 01:02:26 pm


   Jeff Foxworthy looks like Tom Selleck with AIDS....  I heard this on TV lastnight.


   I'm with Creighton, I would have told the guy to mind his mofo bizznass!!
Title: Re: Worst Joke ever...
Post by: phildinftlaudy on September 01, 2010, 01:58:03 pm
I remember years ago when the singer of Soul Asylum (Sebastian Bach) wore a t-shirt that said "AIDS: Kills Fags Dead." --- This was back in the mid-80s when the crisis was just getting out there in full force.

He took a lot of heat for wearing the shirt.  He apologized on MTV - saying that his grandmother had died of cancer recently and that if someone wore a shirt that said "Cancer: Kills Grandmas Dead" he would have gotten angry over it.  However, he then retracted abit by saying that he would still think that is was a funny shirt.

http://www.mtv.com/music/artist/skid_row/artist.jhtml
brief excerpt below:
"Success came with a backlash, however -- the bandmembers had naïvely signed away much of their royalties, and Sebastian Bach's wild, often childlike behavior landed the group in additional trouble. During the subsequent tour, Bach garnered harsh criticism for a T-shirt he publicly sported displaying the message "AIDS KILLS FAGS DEAD."

and other reference to it (with excerpt below link):
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Slogan_%27AIDS_Kills_Fags_Dead%27

A common theme of anti-gay slogans is that AIDS is a "gay disease". One example is the slogan "AIDS Kills Fags Dead", a parody of the advertising slogan "Raid: Kills Bugs Dead", the tagline used in television advertising for the SC Johnson insecticide. It thus identifies gay men with vermin fit for extermination.

The slogan appeared during the early years of AIDS in the United States, when the disease was mainly diagnosed among male homosexuals and was almost invariably fatal. The slogan caught on quickly as a catchy truism, a chant, or simply something written as graffiti. It is reported that the slogan first appeared in public in the early 1990s, when Sebastian Bach, lead singer of the heavy metal band Skid Row, unwittingly wore it on a t-shirt thrown to him by an audience member.[13] A variant of this is "AIDS cures fags", a role reversal which makes homosexuality the disease and the inevitable death from AIDS the "cure"."

Title: Re: Worst Joke ever...
Post by: CaptCarl on September 01, 2010, 07:43:53 pm
I remember the flap over the T shirt that Sebastian Bach wore. I wanted to stuff it down his goddamned throat..... There were a lot of AIDS jokes back then. The one I remember most clearly:

Adios
I nfected
Dick
Sucker

And let us not forget that just before the shit hit the fan here in the US, there was a weight loss chewing gum called "AYDS" Needless to say it didn't last very long, though whether because of bad timing, or just a bad product, I couldn't say.

CaptCarl
Title: Re: Worst Joke ever...
Post by: Matty the Damned on September 01, 2010, 07:46:57 pm
I can remember when "gay" was taken to stand for:

Got
AIDS
Yet?

Nyuck, nyuck, nyuck.

MtD
Title: Re: Worst Joke ever...
Post by: leatherman on September 01, 2010, 08:29:37 pm
there was a weight loss chewing gum called "AYDS" Needless to say it didn't last very long, though whether because of bad timing, or just a bad product, I couldn't say.
It was actually a "candy" - and the chocolate ones that my brothers and I tried when our mom bought them tasted awful. We figured that's how they got people to lose weight! LOL hmm wiki says this "The active ingredient was originally benzocaine[1], presumably to reduce the sense of taste to reduce eating..."

By the mid-1980s, public awareness of the disease AIDS - which had initially been called "GRID", for Gay-Related Immune Deficiency - caused problems for the brand due to the phonetic similarity of names. Initially sales were not affected, but by 1988 the chairman of Dep Corporation announced that the company was seeking a new name because sales had dropped as much as 50 percent due to publicity about the disease.[3] The product's name was changed to Diet Ayds (Aydslim in Britain), but eventually it was withdrawn from the market
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ayds
Title: Re: Worst Joke ever...
Post by: Jeff G on September 01, 2010, 09:41:57 pm
My personal favorite or not was when some one told this one .

Whats the first sign of Aids ?... Shit on your dick . 
Title: Re: Worst Joke ever...
Post by: Matty the Damned on September 01, 2010, 10:36:57 pm
(http://tool.shagnasty.net/wiki/images/5/55/Walksintoabar.jpg)

MtD
Title: Re: Worst Joke ever...
Post by: Rev. Moon on September 01, 2010, 11:43:07 pm
I remember years ago when the singer of Soul Asylum (Sebastian Bach) wore a t-shirt that said "AIDS: Kills Fags Dead." --- This was back in the mid-80s


That asshole Bach was with hair band Skid Row, Philomena. Soul Asylum was actually a decent (though rather boring) punk-alterna-band that became famous in the mid 90s.

The whole thing about Bach "unwittingly" wearing a Tshirt given to him by a fan is pure bullshit.  If he was going to be such a prick he should at least have the balls to own up to his "joke."
Title: Re: Worst Joke ever...
Post by: tednlou2 on September 02, 2010, 12:24:53 am
You can google AIDS jokes and get plenty.  Lisa Lampanelli has done several AIDS jokes that I just don't find funny.  She's done the ones about AIDS being the best diet plan.  And, she's done ones referring to AIDS and "fags."  Sarah Silverman has done them as well.  Family Guy does them.  Here is one of the more less offensive I found:

The patient says, "Give me the bad news first!"
Doctor replies, "You`ve got AIDS."
"Oh, no! What could be worse than that?" asks the patient.
"You`ve also got Alzheimer`s Disease."
Looking relieved the patient says, "Oh...Well, that`s not so bad. At least I don`t have AIDS."

This one isn't as mean spirited as many of the others.  I think many of us would laugh at jokes about older folks being forgetful.  If it affected someone we love, then we may not find it so funny--given how awful that disease can be.  I try not to be so uptight over AIDS jokes as sometimes humor can be a good way of dealing with things.  However, I find many are just not funny and wonder what the intent is.  Seth Macfarlane would probably say the AIDS song was done by Peter, who is an idiot and not a role model.  Still, I wonder why they went there.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=X2XEJOFgBUk&feature=related   
Title: Re: Worst Joke ever...
Post by: Matty the Damned on September 02, 2010, 12:30:22 am
AIDS jokes be fucked.

In addition to being an AIDS victim, I'm a grand mal epileptic. If you want to hear tedious jokes, just tell people that you have epilepsy.

I've heard 'em all.

What do you do if an epileptic has a fit in your bathtub?
--- Throw your washing in.


What do you do if two epileptics have fits in your bathtub?
---- Take your delicates out.


The list goes on ad infinitum.

Now jokes about aspies and other autistic types -- they're funny. :)

MtD

/edit: fucking typo/
Title: Re: Worst Joke ever...
Post by: Jeff G on September 02, 2010, 12:40:43 am
When I hired a guy to help me move who happend to be Mexican he brought along a Japanese guy to help .

When they walked in I told him I was sorry his brother has down syndrome .


And Matty ... I had epilepsy as a kid , the kind you outgrow . The last seizure I had was at 9 years old . It sucks . 
Title: Re: Worst Joke ever...
Post by: skeebo1969 on September 02, 2010, 01:21:10 am
When I hired a guy to help me move who happend to be Mexican he brought along a Japanese guy to help .

When they walked in I told him I was sorry his brother has down syndrome .

Duuuuude, just because they kill the whales and dolphins there's no need to call them retards. :D :D
Title: Re: Worst Joke ever...
Post by: Snowangel on September 02, 2010, 07:21:05 am
Not to long after I found out I was poz, one of the guys I worked with told me this one.

"Hey Snow, How do you spell H.I.V.?"

I spelled," H.I.V."

He said "Are you positive?"


They all suck.
Title: Re: Worst Joke ever...
Post by: phildinftlaudy on September 02, 2010, 07:53:26 am
That asshole Bach was with hair band Skid Row, Philomena. Soul Asylum was actually a decent (though rather boring) punk-alterna-band that became famous in the mid 90s.

The whole thing about Bach "unwittingly" wearing a Tshirt given to him by a fan is pure bullshit.  If he was going to be such a prick he should at least have the balls to own up to his "joke."
I agree that I really didn't buy the whole "unwittingly" wearing the t-shirt - He was photographed with it on - and he admitted to wearing it because he thought it was funny.  Whoever posted the "unwittingly" part on wikipedia obviously was misinformed or had a crush on him.

Oh and stand corrected on the matching of sebastian to the wrong band -- all those white guys with long hair look the same to me. ;D
Title: Re: Worst Joke ever...
Post by: red_Dragon888 on September 02, 2010, 09:52:23 am
I can remember when "gay" was taken to stand for:

Got
AIDS
Yet?

Nyuck, nyuck, nyuck.

MtD
u r so baddddd........
Title: Re: Worst Joke ever...
Post by: Rev. Moon on September 02, 2010, 02:31:56 pm

Adios
I nfected
Dick
Sucker



I know I'm going to HIV hell for this, but I just saw that and thought it was slightly funny  ;D

Oh father, I confess...
Title: Re: Worst Joke ever...
Post by: GSOgymrat on September 02, 2010, 04:56:11 pm
For me, you can joke about pretty much anything as long as 1) it's funny and 2) the spirit in which it is told isn't malicious. For example when Sarah Silverman says  "If we can put a man on the moon, then we can put a man with AIDS on the moon. And then someday… we can put everyone with AIDS on the moon" I laugh, but if Dr. Laura says the same joke on her radio show,  I won't be laughing.

BTW, I know better than to try to tell AIDS jokes. I can't say "A guy walks into a bar..." without it immediately going down hill.
Title: Re: Worst Joke ever...
Post by: CaptCarl on September 02, 2010, 06:56:12 pm
I just remembered another one from the early days of the epidemic. One that our younger members may not get. I think it's funny. Ready?

  Q: What's the most difficult thing about having AIDS?

   A: Trying to convince your parents that your Haitian!

CaptCarl
Title: Re: Worst Joke ever...
Post by: Matty the Damned on September 02, 2010, 07:00:34 pm
I just remembered another one from the early days of the epidemic. One that our younger members may not get. I think it's funny. Ready?

  Q: What's the most difficult thing about having AIDS?

   A: Trying to convince your parents that your Haitian!

CaptCarl


Heh. Homos, Haemos and Haitians. The Three H's, yes?

I recall a bumper sticker which read:

AIDS: It's like the flu, but different.

MtD
Title: Re: Worst Joke ever...
Post by: skeebo1969 on September 02, 2010, 08:07:31 pm
AIDS: It's like the flu, but different.

LMAO...  jus a tad different.
Title: Re: Worst Joke ever...
Post by: odyssey on September 02, 2010, 09:55:44 pm
AIDS jokes be fucked.

In addition to being an AIDS victim, I'm a grand mal epileptic. If you want to hear tedious jokes, just tell people that you have epilepsy.

I've heard 'em all.

What do you do if an epileptic has a fit in your bathtub?
--- Throw your washing in.


What do you do if two epileptics have fits in your bathtub?
---- Take your delicates out.


The list goes on ad infinitum.

Now jokes about aspies and other autistic types -- they're funny. :)

MtD

/edit: fucking typo/

So its okay to joke about people having Asperger's or other autism spectrum disorders but not about having epilepsy. As someone with Asperger's, I find that a little hard to understand, and more than a little offensive.

Odyssey
Title: Re: Worst Joke ever...
Post by: Matty the Damned on September 02, 2010, 09:59:20 pm
So its okay to joke about people having Asperger's or other autism spectrum disorders but not about having epilepsy. As something with Asperger's, I find that a little hard to understand, and more than a little offensive.

Odyssey

Nope, quite the contrary. My comment was ironic, in that I meant the opposite of what I said there being something in the manner of my saying it which pointed to my real meaning.

I can hardly condemn jokes against epileptics whilst approving of jokes which belittle people on the Austism spectrum, now can I?

MtD
Title: Re: Worst Joke ever...
Post by: odyssey on September 02, 2010, 10:01:09 pm
See... as an Aspie, I don't pick up on those types of things very well. And who the hell can be expected to pick up on what amounts to sarcasm online anyway?

odyssey
Title: Re: Worst Joke ever...
Post by: Matty the Damned on September 02, 2010, 10:06:43 pm
See... as an Aspie, I don't pick up on those types of things very well. And who the hell can be expected to pick up on what amounts to sarcasm online anyway?

odyssey

Yus, I appreciate that. Online communications are fraught with these sorts of issues, not just for people with Aspergers and other autism spectrum disorders but I understand that it's particularly difficult for folks in your situation.

Tis a limit of the medium, I suppose.

MtD
Title: Re: Worst Joke ever...
Post by: odyssey on September 02, 2010, 10:19:23 pm
Well, just glad to know you're not going around making jokes about my differing neurological status. Or people like me. From your posts you seem too cool anyway. To be doing that I mean.

odyssey
Title: Re: Worst Joke ever...
Post by: Matty the Damned on September 02, 2010, 10:23:09 pm
Well, just glad to know you're not going around making jokes about my differing neurological status. Or people like me. From your posts you seem too cool anyway. To be doing that I mean.

odyssey

As someone who has struggled with a life-threatening neurological condition (I ended up on life support in 2002 following a particularly bad series of epileptic seizures) for almost all my adult life, I'm not likely to dump shit on others whose brains are not wired according to the standard plan. :)

And yeah, I'm totally cool. You're pretty cool yerself.  8)

MtD
Title: Re: Worst Joke ever...
Post by: odyssey on September 02, 2010, 10:24:23 pm
Thanks there MtD!

odyssey
Title: Re: Worst Joke ever...
Post by: red_Dragon888 on September 03, 2010, 12:28:25 pm
Nope, quite the contrary. My comment was ironic, in that I meant the opposite of what I said there being something in the manner of my saying it which pointed to my real meaning.

I can hardly condemn jokes against epileptics whilst approving of jokes which belittle people on the Austism spectrum, now can I?

MtD
Your joke is ironic (deliberately stating the opposite of the truth, usually with the intention or result of being amusing from http://encarta.msn.com/dictionary_1861622427/ironic.html ) and the first time I heard a joke like that was in the Navy when someone told me three "Dead Baby" jokes.  I had gotten cramps in my stomach for trying not to be revolted and trying not to laugh out loud.  Choking and fighting back laughter at the same time is hard to do.  
Title: Re: Worst Joke ever...
Post by: red_Dragon888 on September 13, 2010, 02:54:53 am
any positive (pardon the pun) joke out there?
Title: Re: Worst Joke ever...
Post by: odyssey on September 13, 2010, 05:09:59 pm
Well... there is the thing I like to say. When I tell someone I have HIV, and they get all serious and are like, so.. how do you deal with it. I say... I try and stay positive! Badumching!
Title: Re: Worst Joke ever...
Post by: red_Dragon888 on September 15, 2010, 09:56:42 am
Well... there is the thing I like to say. When I tell someone I have HIV, and they get all serious and are like, so.. how do you deal with it. I say... I try and stay positive! Badumching!
lol  good one