POZ Community Forums
HIV Prevention and Testing => Do I Have HIV? => Topic started by: needyourhelp on May 21, 2010, 09:19:35 pm
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Hello,
First off I just want to congratulate you on this site, it is absolutely fantastic. Their is nothing out there that can compare to this comprehensive HIV site, you guys are doing an amazing job.
Just a FYI - I have tested HIV negative 6 months ago and since that time have not engaged in any HIV risky behaviour up until now.
I hope all you experts (Andy, Ann, JKin, Matty, Rapid) can assess my risk and let me know if I need to test for HIV and if I can go ahead and have unprotected sex with my wife (I am a male). We have been separated for the last couple of months but are now in the process of reconciling. And I feel like a complete ass for what I have done (obviously I have not told her).
I returned home (Canada) from a business trip yesterday, this trip took me to Uganda East Africa for a couple of weeks. A couple of days prior to my departure (to Canada) I engaged in sexual activities with two sex workers in Uganda in the same night. Just a side note: the HIV prevalence in Uganda is extremely high. I know it's not who you have sexual contact with but more how you have it. Let me explain the incidences:
Sex Worker 1:
Unprotected Blow Job 30 minutes and extremely rough
Protect vaginal sex - again this was rough and lasted for 30 minutes off and on but I did not climax
I used two condoms at two different times as the unprotected oral also occurred in-between the protected vaginal.
While having the protected vaginal, I felt a lot of discomfort on my penis and so I stopped and checked why there was this discomfort. What I found was what looked like a bleeding pimple on my penis shaft (a good amount of blood leaking from my penis shaft), it was also completely covered in vaginal fluids. This bleeding pimple on my penis shaft was not covered by the condom (condom only covered 65% of my penis) and this unprotected bleeding pimple definitely entered the sex workers vagina repeatedly - INSIDE her vagina - hence the vaginal fluids was covering the bleed. In the moment of passion, if I can say that, I just reinserted my penis back into her vagina fully knowing that the bleeding pimple would be exposed to more of her vaginal fluids INSIDE her vagina. Call me stupid and dumb I know. I regret this so much. Is this a HIV risk and is HIV testing warranted?
At the end of the vaginal sex: - when I removed my penis out of her vagina - the condom was intact (first condom was intact as well I believe). Then I tried to take off the condom with my left hand with one fast swooping motion. The condom did not come off but it did slide up my penis shaft a fair bit. It was now dangling - the rim of the condom was now sitting at the head of my penis (a bit below the head or above; I'm not too sure) and the rest of the condom was dangling off of my penis. I left this condom dangling (as I was now kissing the sex worker) off my penis for about 20 minutes. After 20 minutes the sex worker removed the dangling condom.
I am worried that having the condom dangle on my penis for 20 minutes and with the swooping motion on trying to remove the condom that perhaps her vaginal fluids (specifically the cervix fluids) jumped off the condom and onto the head of my penis/urethra and onto my bleeding cut/pimple on my penis shaft? And yes the part of my penis shaft that was bleeding was still bleeding moderately and completely covered in vaginal fluids (maybe cervix fluids as well but of course I'm not sure). Is this a possible HIV risk? If so does it warrant a test? 13 weeks conclusive test right?
Sex Worker 2: Since I did not climax with No. 1, I got another sex worker.
Deep Kissing with tongue - I constantly have slits on my lips that tend to bleed. Before this sex worker arrived, I was bitting my lips like crazy and yes you guessed it; i bled from my lips. While kissing her I did taste blood but I continued to deep kiss her. I don't know how her oral hygiene is. Is this an HIV risk?
Unprotected Oral - I climaxed on her mouth and lips (facial).
Protect vaginal sex - Condom remained intact upon removal,
This sexual experience went okay but again my bleeding pimple was exposed INSIDE her vagina and covered in vaginal fluids. Also the sex worker took a sip of vodka and held the alcohol in her mouth and then she put her mouth over my penis (alcohol was still in her mouth) and then she blew this alcohol into my penis head/urethra/shaft (the whole time her mouth was over my penis). I felt a cold cold rush of liquid into my urethra and all over my penis head and shaft. I don't know if this is a risk for anything, is it?
After this was over, I just went to bed. The next day I went for a shower and noticed that I got another pimple at the base of my penis which was not bleeding. Could this be HIV related?
Experts I would really appreciate your advice. Please all experts, I just don't want to turn into a worry well here. With all the descriptions I have provided, please please kindly let me know know if I may have been exposed to HIV? Should I have protected sex with my wife until I test for HIV and other STD's or can I go ahead and have unprotected sex with her. I do not want to put her health in any danger.
Thank you for reading my long post. If you need any clarification please let me know.
Thanks,
M
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Nothing your brought to this forum was a risk of contracting HIV.
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The bottom line in all of this is that you wore condoms for intercourse. All of the other details you are worrying about from kissing to vaginal liquids "jumping" on to your penis from the condom, etc., are fanciful and totally irrelevant. You had protected intercourse. Period. That means you were not at risk for the sexual transmission of HIV.
There is no need for testing nor for further concern on your part about HIV in relation to these recent incidents. Get on with your life without fear about HIV. Period.
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I agree with Andy and Rodney. You were not at risk. You do not need to be tested for HIV.
Please take the time to read our Welcome Thread (http://forums.poz.com/index.php?topic=220.0) and follow the links to our lessons on HIV transmission.
MtD
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Thanks guys for taking the time to assess my risk. I feel a huge weight off of my shoulders. I just wanted to confirm with you all that my bleeding pimple that was inside both vagina's was not a risk? It's really hard to believe that because it was a fresh deep bloody wound and tons of vaginal fluid as it was not covered by the condoms.
Also if I got cervix fluid splashed (when I did the swooping motion to remove the condom and letting it dangle on my penis for awhile) on my shaft and also on the head of the penis/urethra, would this not be a HIV risk? Would it be too much to ask why this is not risk?
I know...I'm not going to get into this what IF questions......but please please answer the above so I can just put this to rest.
Also the next day I found another reddish pimple forming at the base of my shaft? Is this in any way HIV related?
So definitely no need for me to have a HIV test in 13 weeks over the above mentioned incidences?
Thanks Guys......Ann and JKin can I please get your opinion as well.
M
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How many opinions do you need? You didn't have a risk. Period. If you can't believe that and let go of this unwarranted concern then get tested at 13 weeks and collect the inevitable negative result.
There really isn't anything more that we can tell you. Fears aren't facts. And just because you're anxious and worried doesn't change the facts of the situation in relation to HIV-science.
You were not at risk.
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You were not at risk... though I must say that if someone here posted erroneous information, several informed posters would jump on it in a heartbeat.
You can trust Andy, Ann, Matty, and other qualified people to give you the absolute best science-based information out there. People you may or may not choose to PM, however, is another matter. Remember, BS thrives in the dark. Trust thrives in the light.
This site is sound.
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Thanks again guys. I'm just going to leave this and move on. I really appreciate all of your feedback. I am just going to guess that Ann concurs on the no risk assessment to the incidences above and no need to test as well.
You guys are awesmome.
M.
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I smell a faint leftover bit of doubt in your reference to Ann not having responded.
Give it up and get on with your life. You were not at risk. Period.
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Need,
You did not have a risk for hiv infection, as the others have repeatedly told you.
Keep using those condoms and you won't have a risk in future either.
Ann
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Thanks Ann......I did something so stupid the other day I feel. I am back on this side of the pond and visited a sex worker while having a cold sore/bleeding lip (as I was biting the cold sore to peel of the skin). My lips were bloody but I kept licking my cold sore to stop the blood flow and soothe the pain. Anyways I engaged in protected sex but....
1) I went down on her - was licking her pussy for a good 20 minutes and my mouth and lips were covered in vaginal juice.
2) We engaged in deep kissing all night as I spent the night with her. It was deep and rough.
So scared that the cold sore/bleeding cut on my lip would provide an entry way for the HIV virus
Guys did I put myself at risk here for acquiring the HIV virus?
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And I remember distinctly it was painful on my lips while deep kissing her and going down on her - like a stinging sensation.
What did I do??!?
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Need,
What did you do? You probably gave that woman herpes. Keep your herpes to yourself in future. Some nerve.
You didn't have a risk for hiv infection. And don't keep coming back with but... but... but... You did NOT have a risk for hiv infection!
Ann
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Sorry didn't mean to annoy you Ann. I just thought that the bleeding lip would be a vector for HIV transmission as I gave her oral and have her vaginal juice all over my mouth and lips. Also the deep kissing lasted for hours and again I thought that the bleeding lip would be a vector.
I did not even think that I may have given her herpes. I do apologize for that, that is very narrow minded of me.
Ann and experts with the all the information I've given above, still no risk for HIV?
Ann I'm not coming with buts, I just would like you to accept my apology and to have your say on what just happened the other day. Thank you so much.
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Need,
I've already given you my say on your situation.
NO RISK.
No risk despite the fact that you more than likely gave her herpes.
Ann
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Thank you Ann. I'll let this go. :)
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Hey Everyone,
I do apologize for being back. I just want to run something by all of you. I met someone else this past weekend and basically had a one night stand. We were both really drunk and she vomited a couple of times, but each time she vomited she brushed her teeth so her mouth wouldn't smell foul. Then she proceeded to give me unprotected oral. We were in a dark room so I never really saw here mouth. But I know she brushed her teeth at least 4 times (also the number of times she vomited while we were in the room) and then proceeded with the unprotected oral right after brushing each of the four times. If she had bleeding gums, or cuts, nicks, (as you do get when you freshly brush your teeth) with this pose as a HIV risk?
Thank you for taking the time to read.
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Hey Everyone,
I do apologize for being back. I just want to run something by all of you. I met someone else this past weekend and basically had a one night stand. We were both really drunk and she vomited a couple of times, but each time she vomited she brushed her teeth so her mouth wouldn't smell foul. Then she proceeded to give me unprotected oral. We were in a dark room so I never really saw here mouth. But I know she brushed her teeth at least 4 times (also the number of times she vomited while we were in the room) and then proceeded with the unprotected oral right after brushing each of the four times. If she had bleeding gums, or cuts, nicks, (as you do get when you freshly brush your teeth) with this pose as a HIV risk?
Thank you for taking the time to read.
This has been explained to you.
Receiving a blow job is not a risk for HIV transmission. It doesn't matter that she puked. It doesn't matter that she brushed her teeth. It doesn't matter that she brushed her teeth multiple times.
You were not at risk of HIV infection.
You are wearing out your welcome here. If you continue to post about non risk situations you will be given a time out.
Consider yourself warned.
MtD
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Hi Everyone,
I just wanted a risk assessment from the experts. I went to Thailand for the first time, had an amazing time. I ended up engaging in sexual behavior with numerous sex workers down there. I had two incidences that are really making me panic.
1. I had tons of rough unprotected oral (me receiving) that lasted for a long time. I also climaxed in their mouths. I know this is not a risk in regards to HIV. However with one particular sex worker (she really looked sick i don't know what i was thinking), she start licking and tonguing my ass for a really long time. Also had vigorous unprotected oral and climaxed in her mouth several times throughout the night and in the morning. She also proceeded to finger my ass vigorously. My ass was burning in pain due to the extreme heat all day and night, so i know i had minor cuts and fissures present while she was doing all this. My ass was in discomfort the whole time. After we finished, in the morning I saw her finger and I was petrified because she had cuts all over as well as reddish stains underneath her nail (she had huge long nails). I'm wondering if the those reddish stains/spots were her blood and while fingering me vigorously for a long time and my ass with fissures and cuts...would present a route for HIV infection? Also her tonguing me in my ass while having these fissures and cuts present....would present a route for HIV infection?
2. While have sex with the numerous sex workers, i often removed condoms for blow jobs and then put another one for sex and also removing them once i've climaxed. While removing condoms, i distinctly remember how the pussy juice (cervix fluid) from the top of the condom would roll down onto my penis as i removed the condom. I was removing the condoms slowly, so that is why i distinctly remember this. After my removal of the condoms my penis seemed completely covered in pussy/cervix juice. I am just wondering if this presents a route for HIV infection?
Before going to Thailand i tested for HIV and it was negative.
Do i need to test for these incidences? Extreme fingering and rimming with the particular details above? Also pussy/cervix juices all over my penis after removal of the condoms?
Also i heard that new a generation of the HIV test will let you know after 2 weeks of an incident whether you are positive or not. Is this true?
Thanks a lot of everyone for taking the time to read.
M.
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M,
1. No. Not one person has ever been infected through fingering, regardless of the details, and you are not going to be the first.
2. No. Hiv is a fragile, difficult to transmit virus that is primarily transmitted INSIDE the human body, as in unprotected anal or vaginal intercourse where the virus never leaves the confines of the human body.
Once outside the body, small changes in temperature, and pH and moisture levels all quickly damage hiv and render it unable to infect. For this reason, hiv is NOT transmitted from object in the environment and that includes fingers, the outside of condoms, doorknobs, sheets or whatever.
There are no short cuts to hiv testing. While some tests may tell you early on if you have been infected, ONLY a three month negative test will give you a conclusive negative result.
While you do NOT need hiv testing over anything you bring to us, you may want to get a complete sexual health care check up anyway to make sure you didn't pick up one of the other, more easily transmitted STIs. It's what responsible, sexually active adults do.
Ann
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Thanks a bunch Ann, I really appreciate your advice. I'm also guessing the extreme rimming and tonguing of my ass (with fissures and cuts present) is also a no risk? What if she had poor oral hygiene to boot?
I just want to be absolutely certain.
Thank you so much again.
M.
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Thanks a bunch Ann, I really appreciate your advice. I'm also guessing the extreme rimming and tonguing of my ass (with fissures and cuts present) is also a no risk? What if she had poor oral hygiene to boot?
I just want to be absolutely certain.
Thank you so much again.
M.
Need,
You can be absolutely certain. If we thought you were at risk, we would tell you.
Rimming is NOT a risk for HIV transmission. Moreover if you had anal fissures there is no way you'd let anyone stick their tongue up your chutney.
Believe me.
MtD
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Thanks Matty, but i did have anal fissures. I was in pain throughout the ordeal but continued as I was "managing" the pain.
MtD my chutney was burning before, during, and after the extreme rimming and fingering.
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Thanks Matty, but i did have anal fissures. I was in pain throughout the ordeal but continued as I was "managing" the pain.
MtD my chutney was burning before, during, and after the extreme rimming and fingering.
Well you're a better man than me, Gunga Din.
But fissures or otherwise you were still at no risk of HIV infection from getting your poop deck swabbed.
MtD
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Need,
You do know that saliva is not infectious, regardless of that person's viral load? Good. And before you ask the usual "blood in the mouth" question, unless you repeatedly punched her in the mouth before she performed any sort of oral sex on you (rimming, blowjob, kissing, whatever) then there could not possibly be enough blood present to pose even a remote risk.
As Matty said, if you had a risk, we'd tell you. You didn't.
Ann
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Thanks Ann and Matty, I really appreciate your advice and help.
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Sorry for coming back....i remember something that i did not mention earlier and was wondering if it changes the no risk assessment. In the morning after the rimming and fingering, i went to the bathroom and when i wiped my anus with toilet paper, there was blood present on the toilet paper. Not dripping blood, but numerous blood spots all over the toilet paper. Again my anus was in a lot of pain as I mentioned above.
Am i at any risk for acquiring HIV with the above information? She had cuts all over her finger and what looked like a blood spot underneath her fingernail.
please help.
thank you so much
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Need,
No, it does not change our risk assessment one little bit. You had NO RISK.
Go back and re-read your thread from reply #19 onward. Our answers are not going to change.
If you read the Welcome Thread (http://forums.poz.com/index.php?topic=220.0) before posting like you're supposed to, you will have read the following posting guideline:
Anyone who continues to post excessively, questioning a conclusive negative result or no-risk situation, will be subject to a four week Time Out (a temporary ban from the Forums). If you continue to post excessively after one Time Out, you may be given a second Time Out which will last eight weeks. There is no third Time Out - it is a permanent ban. The purpose of a Time Out is to encourage you to seek the face-to-face help we cannot provide on this forum.
Please consider yourself warned!
Ann
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Thanks Ann, I will let this go. I really appreciate your time.
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Need,
You're welcome.
Use condoms for anal or vaginal intercourse, correctly and consistently, and you will avoid hiv infection. It really is that simple!!!
Ann
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Hey Everyone,
I just have a quick question/incident to run by you all. I fingered a woman of unknown HIV status, not realizing that i had a cut on my finger (right index finger). The cut was due to me biting and peeling off skin from my finger which caused a bleeding cut (probably an hour before the incident). I have read through all the posts that fingering is not a risk with whatever spin on it, however i did some deep deep fingering (also with two to three fingers at a time). I know the risky fluid is up in the cervix area and I feel I may have reached this area with my deep fingering and my cut. Am at I risk in this situation?
Also right after the deep fingering their was a lot of frottage. Again I know this is not a risk, however my penis was rubbing up against her anus and vaginal lips. There was no penetration as such, but my penis head was clearly resting at the opening of her anus and therefore sandwiched in between and within her but cheeks. I am not sure if this is frottage or penetration. I did not enter her anus but my penis head was probing with slight gentle mini thrusts at her anus opening (but no complete penetration). Am I at risk here? Was this frottage?
Thanks again for your advice and expertise.
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As you have been told before you never had an exposure.
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Thanks for the quick reply Rapid. I really appreciate it.