POZ Community Forums
Off Topic Forums => Off Topic Forum => Topic started by: Blond35 on July 19, 2006, 10:05:02 pm
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why is life so hard? i am not asking for it to be easy? but it just seems like i dont know. in the past YEAR i have gotten fired, used up all my retirement savings, gone in debt $12K (and climbing). left a place i called hoke for 12 yrs. moved 300 miles to a new city, where i knew only one person, and the moved placed and continues to place such a strain on things, on a relationship. my job is ok but i my salary is WELL BELOW the metro norm. i have personal belongins still in my old city. i realize some people have it way worse but.. i dunno... :-\
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Life's not easy unless you live in a rich bubble, like the Hiltons. I've been in dire shits, trust me, and somehow things seem to work out one way or another. just keep trying. If you ever feel like giving up, then let yourself have a good cry, but when you're done don't dwell on it but pick yourself up and keep moving. It will get better. It might take a while, but you can rest assured that no matter what happens, a bill collector cannot put you in jail. It will get better! 8)
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I know how you feel. I was given the boot from a job I had had for 17 years, was out of work for seven months, failed miserably at one job I tried and then landed the one I have now, which is rewarding and frustrating all at the same time.
Hang in there. Things usually have a habit of working out. It just takes time and patience sometimes.
HUGS,
Mark
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I am old, so I can answer this.
Life is hard because it would be so much less fulfilling if it were easy.
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Life is difficult because we grow from challenges. If it were an easy ride, you would be less of a person.
The "problem" comes from expecting life to be otherwise.
Daniel
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The important thing is to LEARN from your mistakes. Lord knows, I have made more than my share. I am a FIRM believer in Karma.....what goes around comes around. 'As ye sow, so shall ye reap'...that kind of thing. I was not always a good person when I was young....I have paid a dear price for that. Also, I have learned some valuable life lessons. Be kind to people. Be generous with those who are less fortunate.
Who am I to give advice? I'm almost 50, disabled, and poor. But I'm mostly content, and I never want for friendship and love, I have an abundance of that in my life, a lot of it from these forums.
Good luck, and remember, Life really is a JOURNEY. (sometimes you just get stuck on a merry-go-round).
Hugs,
Alan
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Life is how one looks at it.
One person will be upset because it’s raining outside and he can’t go to the beach while another will look at the rain as ending a long drought season.
One person will complain because it snowed and he now needs to dig his car out while his kids are happy because it’s now a “No School day”
One guy will complain because he needs to cut the lawn while his neighbor loves working in the garden for the exercise and relaxation.
It’s all how you look at things. Reminds me of the story of the man who complained that he didn’t have a decent pair of shoes and his feet hurt so much until he met a man who had no feet.
Also reminds me of my fathers wake when I had overheard my aunt Katherine say to my mother, “He look so good.” I said What? He’s dead! Again it’s how one looks at a situation.
Terry
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Making the Choice for Joy
It might sound strange to say that joy is the result of our choices. We often imagine that some people are luckier than others and that their joy or sorrow depends on the circumstances of their lives - over which they have no control.
However, we do have a choice, not so much in regard to the circumstances of our lives, but in regard to the way we live our lives. Two people can be the victims of the same accident. For the one, it becomes the source of resentment; for the other, the source of gratitude. The outer circumstances are the same, but the choice of response is completely different.
Some people become bitter as they grow older. Others grow old joyfully. That does not mean that the life of those who become bitter was harder than the life of those who become joyful. It means that different choices were made, inner choices, choices of the heart.
It is important to become aware that, at every moment of our lives, we have the opportunity to choose joy. Life has many sides to it. There are always sorrowful and joyful sides to the reality we live. And so we always have a choice to live the moment as a cause for gratitude and joy.
It is in this choice that our true freedom lies, and that freedom is, in the final analysis, the freedom to love.
It might be a good idea to spend a moment at the end of each day and decide - whatever may have happened - to remember the day as a day to be grateful for. In so doing, we increase our hearts' capacity to choose for joy. And as our hearts become more joyful, we will become, without any special effort, a source of joy for others. Because just as sorrow begets sorrow, so joy begets joy.
Henri Nouwen
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DanielMark,
That was great. I try to choose joy every day. There are days it isn't easy, but it does make life worth living.
HUGS,
Mark
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Thanks Mark,
A hug for you too. ;D
Okay, I posted this because it says what I try to remind myself every day. And that is, that everyone has something to carry through this life. No exceptions. Life is full of crap. We all know it. I believe in surrounding myself with every possible goodness and good person within reason, to counterbalance it all.
It takes work, yes, but not to push back against negativity with something more optimistic is emotional suicide for me.
I can’t imagine trying to keep alive, then live being miserable just because shit happens. It happens to everybody. Like I mentioned in an earlier post, if we expect things to always be easy or uncomplicated we are only inviting disappointments.
Daniel
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Just don't give up...that's the key. Never say never and never say die...is my motto and I've had my share of
challenges as well... Hang in there and don't be afraid to ask for help.
DanielMark...I can't help but notice what an incredibly POSITIVE guy you are...You always have a kind word and an encouraging suggestion. God! It's great having people like you in the world! :-*
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My motto..... (while my signature holds true as well)
Never take life too seriously because you will never get out alive!
Helps me keep things in perspective. It's never as bad as I think and always better than I know.
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Yo ACinKC ya forgot about the single malt scotch in one hand and the new york cheese cake in the other. Whatsa matter wit yous!
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DanielMark
You said:
It takes work, yes, but not to push back against negativity with something more optimistic is emotional suicide for me.
That my friend is something I needed to hear today. I try to spend my life "making the choice for joy" because I've found it truly does add to the quality of my life.
There are times however, when I get distracted and need to be reminded. (And isn't it easy to fall into that cycle?)
You have done that for me at a time when I needed it. Thanks buddy.
RAB
(Who has a smile on his face.)
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David wrote:
I can't help but notice what an incredibly POSITIVE guy you are...You always have a kind word and an encouraging suggestion.
RAB wrote:
That my friend is something I needed to hear today. I try to spend my life "making the choice for joy" because I've found it truly does add to the quality of my life.
There are times however, when I get distracted and need to be reminded. (And isn't it easy to fall into that cycle?)
I must sound like I have no problems. That I'm on heavy doses of Fukitol (http://forums.poz.com/index.php?PHPSESSID=a29a8133d891989c5f6551f6cf281939&topic=2149.0) or something. (God bless Trish for posting that. I'm still laughing, as are all the friends I sent it to.) ;D
The truth is, I have down times and discouraging days like anyone else. I just don’t see any good point in spreading pain around. Self pity and negativity can become an addiction, but in 46.5 years I’ve also learned – through a lot of challenges and painful times – that optimism and forward thinking can be just as catching. It all depends if I want to feel lousy or feel okay. I have that choice, even when the choice may only be between two crappy options.
I no longer expect life to be easy, and since I don’t expect that I’m not as disappointed as I have been in the past. It also helps that I have an innate ability to laugh at myself (all human foibles really), so I try not to take myself or the world overly seriously.
My sig says Follow your honest heart. Another one I sometimes use is Kindness costs nothing.
I believe in them both.
Daniel
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Well I'm a little bit older than you Daniel.(I'm 49.2) i understand exactly what you are saying here. I think you are kinda like me...You would rather post something positive then negative, and there is nothing wrong with that. But you are a human being, and it's normal for you to have a bad day, get down, etc.So why not post about the bad days you have? I'm sure we won't hold that against you LoL. And knowing you, by doing that once in a while, we would all benefit from know that you are a human being, and have your bad days as well.
The bottom line I feel, is to do what makes you feel good. And some times, posting the bad does us all some good. Just my 2 cents. You are a great guy!
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Hi Jeffrey,
So why not post about the bad days you have? I'm sure we won't hold that against you LoL. And knowing you, by doing that once in a while, we would all benefit from know that you are a human being, and have your bad days as well.
Not too sure how to reply to that. I did mention in my previous post that I have down times and discouraging days like anyone else, but I guess that’s not the point you’re making.
The original poster (Blond) had written “why is life so hard? I am not asking for it to be easy? but it just seems like I don’t know.” My replies in this thread have been my perspective on his question.
If and when the time comes and I feel the need to dump or decompress, I suppose I will be posting about whatever I may be having a hard time with. Until then, I hope that doesn’t make me less than human tho. ;D
Daniel
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ROFLMAO.......LOL@ Fuckitol. That just slays me.
This will be added to my vocabulary! :P
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I think it's wonderful Lisa, just how all-purpose it is!
You know, for those days when you get really tired of banging your head against those brick walls.
If only I'd known about this sooner, I would have bought up major stock in the company.
Daniel