POZ Community Forums
Off Topic Forums => Off Topic Forum => Topic started by: someone somewhere on June 25, 2006, 07:53:09 pm
-
This was sent to me by a friend. Had some good points l thought.
I want to share with you a few tips that I’ve learned in dealing with the uniqueness of some of God’s children. Have you ever encountered anyone in your life who you tried to help but no matter how great your best efforts, the other person was still determined to remain in their personal bondage of negativity, pessimism, and depression?
Whenever they spoke a negative about their life and the lives of others, you stepped forward and spoke positive affirmations instead. Whenever they saw the glass as being half-empty you carefully described how you really saw it as being half-full instead. Whenever they spoke of not having enough faith, you shared your own personal testimony and spoke of the spiritual truth of embracing things and situations as if they already existed.
Yet despite your sincere efforts, have you ever experienced yourself losing ground or losing the “fight” and began to gradually think, talk and act just like the other person versus the other way around?? If so, then it is time to prune your life!!
You begin to prune your life by staying a safe distance away from the people, places, things, and situations that are not affirming, positive, forward thinking, spiritually uplifting, and loving. However, you can still like or even love these people, but just at a safe distance in order to prevent yourself from being sucked into their vortex of darkness, self-pity, and pain.
Just in case you aren’t sure who or what these people, places, things, and situations are, I’ve provided the following list for your review:
1. Stay away from negative people
Although you might have a genuine desire to encourage them by sharing with them the spiritual light that leads your life, the other person also has to be open and available to your message of hope, love, and inspiration too. Sadly, there are many people who have absolutely no desire to become mentally and spiritually positive or uplifted. Your job is to figure out exactly who’s open to your message of inspiration and who isn’t and proceed accordingly by pruning.
2. Stay away from pessimistic people
These people are just one-step away from being negative people. They gently place doubt where none previously existed. They send whispers of fear and what-ifs versus saying it boldly like negative people do. Pessimistic people are really negative people with no guts. Instead of coming right out and being a negative person, pessimistic people just tip-toe around it.
Again, your job is to discern the difference between a person’s genuine concerns from their pessimism. Once you figure it out, then proceed accordingly and prune away!
3. Stay away from Old Divas
Whether this person is a man or a woman, an Old Diva has seen it all and trust and believe they can play mind games in their sleep. They pretend to be your friend or mentor all while assessing your Achilles Heel and then exploiting it every chance they get.
In addition, they throw rocks and stumbling blocks in your path via other people and then kick back and watch, gossip, and laugh alongside their fellow Old Divas to see how you overcome their created obstacles.
Be careful of anyone who out-of-nowhere tries to convince you that suddenly they are your mentor, best friend, and needed counsel. If this happens, start pruning with the quickness.
4. Stay away from Young Divas
Whether male or female, they desperately need attention, instruction, and will consume all of your time, energy, and efforts if you allow them. Their drama will soon become your drama, and their lies will soon become your lies as they will betray you and spread lies about you for no real or apparent reason other than to see how quickly drama can spread, grow and explode over it. No matter how cute, fun, bubbly, and full of energy they might be, start your pruning today!!
5. Stay away from anyone who’s first instinct is to frown
Should you ever ask someone a question or perhaps ask them for their impression of a person, place, thing or situation and the first thing they do is to frown before answering the question, then start pruning!!
This person has major issues with themselves and usually is highly critical of other people because they’re extremely insecure with their own abilities or inabilities. They critique out of fear of being critiqued first. They tend to see absolutely no good in anything that another person does and thus are perpetually frowning about it. Sharpen your shears and start cutting today!!
6. Stay away from anyone who always talking but never listening
If someone is forever telling you what they know but is never listening to your divergent opinion or different perspective for greater insight, then what this person really wants is a yes-man or a yes-woman as a friend.
To think that your own experiences trump that of others to the point that cannot gain any value from another person’s journey is called ignorance. Get your shears out now!
7. Stay away from anyone who is forever gossiping to you
This is a non-brainier. If they gossip to you about other people, then most definitely they will gossip about you to other people just as soon as your back turns let alone when you leave the room. What goes around comes around and bites you on the butt. Keep the gossip and the other person out of your life, start cutting today!!
8. Stay away from anyone who tells you what you’re capable of doing
Get the ax out now and start chopping!! Don’t ever allow anyone, and I don’t care if it’s mama, daddy, big mama, big daddy, respected uncle, high-and-mighty aunt, successful cousin, educated neighbor, older brother/sister, favorite school teacher, lover, spouse, girl/boy friend, husband, wife, child, esteemed pastor, holy bishop, and any other individual who is less than God the Creator to tell you what you can and cannot do!! I’ll give myself an AMEN on that one.
If any of these people is less than God the Creator, then their opinions, perceptions, and thoughts about you and your life and abilities are completely null and void. Never forget or dismiss the God factor. You are much GREATER than what others can see and interpret about you.
Your energy and abilities do not come from this dimension that man is able to see and feel. Instead they come from another far, higher, greater, and stunningly glorious dimension of love directly from our Creator.
Remember that everything is possible through you and that your existence is meant to be the manifestation of your divine purpose in life. Reach out and grab it!
-
mmm like that
Hermie
thnx
-
Someone,
Given that just about everybody exhibits most if not all of these qualities, you must be pretty lonely.
MtD
-
Nope have good frineds l can trust and l wanted feed back on it.It was sent to me and it has good points but yes l agree it is also a bit harsh.
-
I always stay away from things telling me to stay away from things.
-
Somewhere,
I hate to break it you, but the friend who sent you that rubbish is either a religious whacko or too friendly with religious whackos. If I was going to avoid anyone it would be him/her.
MtD
-
1. Stay away from negative people
2. Stay away from pessimistic people
3. Stay away from Old Divas
4. Stay away from Young Divas
5. Stay away from anyone who’s first instinct is to frown
6. Stay away from anyone who always talking but never listening
7. Stay away from anyone who is forever gossiping to you
8. Stay away from anyone who tells you what you’re capable of doing
[Reach out and grab it!]
9. Stay away from people who touch themselves! ;D
-
1. Stay away from negative people
2. Stay away from pessimistic people
3. Stay away from Old Divas
4. Stay away from Young Divas
5. Stay away from anyone who’s first instinct is to frown
6. Stay away from anyone who always talking but never listening
7. Stay away from anyone who is forever gossiping to you
8. Stay away from anyone who tells you what you’re capable of doing
________
9. Stay away from SYCOPHANT-SEEKERS. They say they want friends, but they're only interested in SYCOPHANTS - therefore, it doesn't matter to them who you are, as long as you have a pulse >:( >:( >:(
-
Thanks allopathicholistic for teaching me a new word: SYCOPHANT. I found this about it: A popular synonym for the term is "toady" or "toadying", derived from the term "toad eater". EEEEWWWWWWW!!!
I agree with 1,2,6. I don't agree fully with 3 and 4, because you never know when divas are going to drop a gem of wisdom in their bitter intercourse. #5 I take case by case; they may have your best interest in mind. I've never experienced 7. As for #8, just because they are challenging me why should I stay away from them? They may inspire me to prove them wrong or prove them right. If I fail, they get the pleasure of saying "I told you so," and if I succeed I can celebrate their inspiration. I have no reason to deny them that.
edited to add: unless they are an asshole.
-
Generally agree with the eight recommendations.
Speaking 'spiritual truth' (obviously subjective) is okay so long as it does not cross into proselytizing. I don't feel it's appropriate to push religious beliefs onto others (if that was your intention in what you conveyed) as it rightly makes people uncomfortable.
As to pessimistic people: Encouragement is good...but also we do have to hear what the other person is saying and not be dismissive. Just chiming back with something like "Everything will work out" etc. can sound like you're really saying "I don't want to hear your problems." That can be hurtful and the good intentions simply boomerang.
There are a lot of people who become so immersed in their issues that they become self-absorbed (only think and talk about self.) Not only is that poor social skill...but it will push people away. I seem to draw people like that. They call me up and go on about their issues and problems...barely asking how I am. If on occasion I attempt to talk about myself...they are not really interested and change the conversation back to their problems. I get tired of that and ought to start charging them $85/hr...LOL. These folks could actually feel better if they could step outside of themselves and show some interest in the lives of others who are trying to be helpful to them.
Gary
-
There are a lot of people who become so immersed in their issues that they become self-absorbed (only think and talk about self.) Not only is that poor social skill...but it will push people away. I seem to draw people like that. They call me up and go on about their issues and problems...barely asking how I am. If on occasion I attempt to talk about myself...they are not really interested and change the conversation back to their problems.
Consider cutting them off. Sounds cruel I know, but sometimes you gotta be cruel to be kind. Try not answering the phone for a while which will force them to email you. They're not being fair to you. Ciao baby
-
(http://www.greatgads.com/images/stickers/st-smile_with_bullet_thumb.jpg)
-
Did you shoot Mr. Smiley Face because he's an "Old Diva"? ???
-
Consider cutting them off. Sounds cruel I know, but sometimes you gotta be cruel to be kind. Try not answering the phone for a while which will force them to email you. They're not being fair to you. Ciao baby
Thanks for the suggestion Allopathicholistic. I already kind of do that (though feel a tad guilty...but only a tad.) Caller ID comes in handy that way...if I'm tired and/or don't feel like listening to people's stuff...I don't answer! ;D
Gary
-
I think that was a self-inflicted gunshot wound to old smiley.
Shawn
-
It's always nice to share emails that essentially tell you that you have absolutely no control over your life. That you are here for a divine purpose, but don't expect anyone to clue you in on what that might be. I couldn't trudge through all the drivel, but the last one really caught my eye.
So we should not listen to anyone, save God, to tell us what we are capable of??? Very poor advice indeed. My father believed that you could do almost anything if you applied yourself as necessary. He was not one for obstacles and showed me through his actions, that you could attain your dreams.
I refuse to accept that anyone, including God, will be thinking and acting for me. I'm not here for a divine purpose, I'm here to live my life. I don't need anyone to dictate to me, particularly any of the Gods who seem to frequent America. Yes they want you to let God lead you, through their words. This is how they continue to spread their intolerance for many people through religion.
-
All good points to keep in mind, Someone somewhere.
Thanks for posting them.
Daniel
-
i'm still LOL about the old diva-young diva thing
too funny :D :D
-
Im the past i have had people in my life who have been all the things in your post. Im reading through it and it talks about people who gossip etc. It seem there are so many people around like this. why is that???? I am not a gossip and when someone tells me something personal it goes in the vault and stays there. are there any genuine people who think the same??
I guess when i read through that stuff and look thru my phone there are about 4 people who once were close but fit into 1 or more of these points. e.g. dont listen, gossip about others.
Just wanting to know if youd like to share with me some of your experiences.