POZ Community Forums
HIV Prevention and Testing => Do I Have HIV? => Topic started by: Seadragon on December 30, 2012, 11:12:23 am
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My question is: can I happily let random men cum into my mouth at sex parties or bath houses without putting my health at serious risk? Of course not when I just had a tooth pulled, or when I have an STD in my mouth but under normal circumstances. My only worry is getting HIV. I know there are other STD's but apart from herpes they can be cured.
Recently I developed this fetish that I want men to cum in my mouth. Partially perhaps because it is considered that is not safe, at least not where I am from. However, I came to the conclusion that the risks of contracting HIV from cum in my mouth is nearly zero, but perhaps I am overlooking something.
Second question: On a party I saw a friend fuck another guy bare. 'No worries, I am HIV-' was his comment. According to him fucking bare (topping) is not as dangerous as swallowing cum. For his sake I hope he is right, but I am afraid he put himself at great risk. Is he right?
edit: spelling corrected
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The risk for HIV transmission from giving oral is basically theoretical. There have been longterm studies of both sero-discordant gay and straight couples who had lots of mutual unprotected oral sex and onlyprotected vaginal and anal intercourse. Not one single HIV negative partner became infected.
Your saliva contains over a dozen elements and proteins which very effectively prevent the transmission of viable HIV. There is no need for testing.
As for your friend, he couldn't be more wrong. Although the risk is lower for the insertive/topping partner, the risk is very real. He should be using a condom everytime for anal intercourse. Everytime he has unprotected anal intercourse he is putting his health and his life at risk.
As far as you are concerned, you need to know that other STDs are much easier to acquire than HIV. We advise that anyone who is sexually ought to at least annually have a full STD panel done.
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I agree totally with Andy, of course. I would go a step further with your testing protocol since you will be going to sex parties and the number of partners you have might be more than the average.
I would recommend, for high-octane multiplicity of partners,an STD panel done every three months if you can manage it. If you want to include an HIV test that's fine, of course, though the risk for HIV in your circumstances seem pretty theoretical. However, you can get syphilis from giving oral, as well as other STDs which are easily transmitted - and easily overlooked.
If you want to maintain your oral health - and health in general - it makes sense to have more frequent STD panels done as often as you can manage. Syphilis shares the three month window period with HIV, which is why I recommend a quarterly STD panel.
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I perhaps had unprotected insertive anal sex. How risky is that? Should I ask my doctor for PEP?
Backstory: I had sex at a glory hole in a bath house and noticed a sensation that I'd never felt before. It took a while (about 2 minutes) before it dawned on me that I perhaps wasn't receiving oral sex. When I pulled back and looked I did not see a mouth, but a butt and immediately left the cubicle.
I waited for him at the cubicle and when he came out, I asked if we had had unprotected anal sex. His response was 'So what if we had?' and after I answered 'Safe sex', he said 'Whatever' and left. I was speechless.
Normally one of the unwritten rules of bath house sex is to have safe sex, so I was quite outraged, but the management didn't seem to care.
I don't know whether I really had unprotected sex or that I was merely rubbing his butt cheeks. I did see a butt and freaked out, but my penis was clean and I can't recall seeing traces of lube on it. I did wash my penis with water and soap afterwards, but I don't know if this makes a difference.
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Unprotected anal sex is definitely a risk. It seems to me if you had penetrated the other guy you would have known it, but you have to decide whether you did or not.
It's less risky for the insertive partner than it is for the receptive one. And if you had anal sex, it was apparently for a very brief and one-time only.
As for doing PEP, it is no walk in the park so you need to decide if the possibility is high enough that you had anal sex and warrants doing PEP.
If it was only rubbing/frottage then there was no risk.
Think carefully about what happened. Discuss it with your doctor if you have continuing doubts.