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Off Topic Forums => Off Topic Forum => Topic started by: DanielMark on July 24, 2006, 05:30:13 pm

Title: YOU KNOW YOU'RE A REDNECK WHEN ... v2.0
Post by: DanielMark on July 24, 2006, 05:30:13 pm
1. You take your dog for a walk and you both use the same tree.

2. You can entertain yourself for more than 15 minutes with a fly swatter.

3. Your boat has not left the driveway in 15 years.

4. You burn your yard rather than mow it.

5. You think "The Nutcracker" is something you do off the high dive.

6. The Salvation Army declines your furniture.

7.You offer to give someone the shirt off your back and they don't want it.

8. You have the local taxidermist on speed dial.

9. You come back from the dump with more than you took.

10. You keep a can of Raid on the kitchen table.

11. Your wife can climb a tree faster than your cat.

12. Your grandmother has "ammo" on her Christmas list.

13. You keep flea and tick soap in the shower.

14. You've been involved in a custody fight over a hunting dog.

15 You go to the stock car races and don't need a program.

16. You know how many bales of hay your car will hold.

17. You have a rag for a gas cap.

18. Your house doesn't have curtains, but your truck does.

19. You wonder how service stations keep their rest rooms so clean.

20. You can spit without opening your mouth.

21. You consider your license plate personalized because your father made it.

22. Your lifetime goal is to own a fireworks stand.

23. You have a complete set of matching salad bowls and they all say "Cool Whip" on the side.

24. The biggest city you've ever been to is Wal-Mart.

25. Your working TV sits on top of your non working TV.

26. You've used your ironing board as a buffet table.

27. A tornado hits your neighbourhood and does $100,000 worth of improvements.

28. You've used a toilet brush to scratch your back.

29. You missed your 5th grade graduation because you were on jury duty.

30. You think fast food is hitting a deer at 65.
Title: Re: YOU KNOW YOU'RE A REDNECK WHEN ... v2.0
Post by: Teresa on July 24, 2006, 05:54:20 pm
I have actually done one of these.

And no its not the first one....LOL


Teresa
Title: Re: YOU KNOW YOU'RE A REDNECK WHEN ... v2.0
Post by: Jeffreyj on July 25, 2006, 01:11:18 am
Funny post man, thanks for the laughs! I liked #30 the best...Love, Jeff (a NEW YAWKER)
Title: Re: YOU KNOW YOU'RE A REDNECK WHEN ... v2.0
Post by: aztecan on July 25, 2006, 01:13:40 am
Teresa,
If I were to guess, I would say "owned a fireworks stand," just because you are such a dynamic lady.

I actually did one of these too, but it wasn't No. 1. I don't have a dog. (LOL)

HUGS,

Mark
Title: Re: YOU KNOW YOU'RE A REDNECK WHEN ... v2.0
Post by: David_CA on July 25, 2006, 05:43:14 am
And don't forget...

31.  Call getting new hubcaps for the house 'home improvement'.

32.  Have more dogs sleeping under the house than in the house.

Title: Re: YOU KNOW YOU'RE A REDNECK WHEN ... v2.0
Post by: Teresa on July 25, 2006, 08:33:34 am
Mark,

LOL..no its not a fireworks stand.

Thanks for the saying the "dynamic lady" part but actually I'm really more of a dork!

My kids remind me of that fact quite often....LOL They have given me a magnet for the fridge that says I Love Dorks, and gave me a very nice engraved pen that said Dork, established 1958.

OK Mark, I'm guilty of  Entertaining myself with a fly swatter. Which one are you guilty of?

Hugs
Teresa
Title: Re: YOU KNOW YOU'RE A REDNECK WHEN ... v2.0
Post by: david25luvit on July 25, 2006, 11:46:14 am
Okay so three out of thirty......does that make me a little redneck or a part time redneck?
Funny, Daniel.....Enjoyed reading them! :-*
Title: Re: YOU KNOW YOU'RE A REDNECK WHEN ... v2.0
Post by: allopathicholistic on July 25, 2006, 06:06:40 pm
as long as it's NOT  
28. You've used a toilet brush to scratch your back.
 :o :D
Title: Re: YOU KNOW YOU'RE A REDNECK WHEN ... v2.0
Post by: Life on July 25, 2006, 08:58:50 pm
ahh mmmm rrrggg.. #1... But it was a PINE!
Title: Re: YOU KNOW YOU'RE A REDNECK WHEN ... v2.0
Post by: Lisa on July 26, 2006, 08:38:54 am
Well thank you so much........I will keep in mind the ironing board this Christmas. ;D

I was good right up to the toilet brush comment. EEEeeeeewwwwww! ;)
Title: Re: YOU KNOW YOU'RE A REDNECK WHEN ... v2.0
Post by: CaptCarl on July 26, 2006, 11:26:56 am
Guilty Guilty Guilty!! Numbers 1, 2, 15, &20. No. 1on a regular basis actually. To this list you can also add:

Your front porch collapses, and kills four dogs.

Your family tree is all trunk, no branches.

Title: Re: YOU KNOW YOU'RE A REDNECK WHEN ... v2.0
Post by: MoltenStorm on July 27, 2006, 05:40:26 am
Your dog's collar and your wife's wedding ring came from the same store

Title: Re: YOU KNOW YOU'RE A REDNECK WHEN ... v2.0
Post by: allopathicholistic on July 27, 2006, 01:07:52 pm
Your dog's collar and your wife's wedding ring came from the same store



LOL!!  :D  :D :D  :D :D  :D :D  :D :D  :D :D  :D