Author Topic: Who was the First Person you told that you were HIV +++ (Read 11403 times)

newbernswiss · « **on:** August 09, 2007, 02:31:50 pm »

Who was the first person you told about your HIV status?

??

chrism1973 · « **Reply #1 on:** August 09, 2007, 02:35:41 pm »

I told my ex-partner.He was the one that infected me so he knew first.Second was my ex wife.
Chris

poz1970 · « **Reply #2 on:** August 09, 2007, 02:43:31 pm »

First person I told was my best friend, who picked me up to take me to work less than 50 minutes after I got my diagnosis. Needless to say that day at work was very quiet, with lots of deep thought

J

Dan J. · « **Reply #3 on:** August 09, 2007, 02:51:44 pm »

God, that's a hard one for me since it was so long ago... Thinking... Thinking... thinking... I told my friends Terrell & Donald @ the same time. it was in May 1986. When I told them they looked at me like I was going to die right there. There were tears & hugs & they told me I would make it through . & here I am 21 years later, still kickin' & I hope to be around at least another 21 years.

I held off telling my parents for 6 years. It was hard keeping that secret from them & when I finally did tell them they went into a state of denial for several years.

Dan

Miss Philicia · « **Reply #4 on:** August 09, 2007, 02:59:35 pm »

Gee, I can't really recall. I know I went in a bathroom stall where I worked and cried for 15 minutes. Oh, then I went and told my boss actually. She was a lesbian and very understanding. She told me to go home and take off as much time as I needed.

marc11864 · « **Reply #5 on:** August 09, 2007, 03:05:51 pm »

Definitely without a doubt, it was my sister. Since I was staying with her and her family I had already braced her for what I already suspected. That being said I know it still kind of stunned her when I did receive my results and went home to share the news. Still, I believe her response was "we'll get through this".

We'd always had major sibling rivalry and let me tell ya, when it was her time of the month, she could be a real vicious bitch. Still, she wanted to be there for me when the chips are down as I imagine many families do.

We're definitely growing towards each other as we age and that goes a long way toward making up for any animosity we'd ever shown towards one another.

I doubt she'll ever see this post or even knows about this site but if she does, Thanks Karen, I appreciate your support!

Ay Pablo · « **Reply #6 on:** August 09, 2007, 03:07:24 pm »

My partner was with me at the Dr. office when I got my official diagnosis (although I really knew in my gut already). The first phone call from the car on the way home from that appointment was to my sister.............

pozattitude · « **Reply #7 on:** August 09, 2007, 03:14:37 pm »

The first people I told were my peers at the HIV/AIDS local group where I used to volunteer.
To make a long story short...I've know these people for some 4 years and they knew me well and how I got infected. It was somewhat surreal, they were all upset and some even cried, but I just looked at my watch and said...I got to go, I am late for work.
I never cried a single tear over this, life goes on.

Rich
(who still doesn't understand his lack of emotion regarding his HIV infection)

PeteNYNJ · « **Reply #8 on:** August 09, 2007, 03:15:43 pm »

The Aidsmeds Community Forums

The first person I told face to face was my friend Shari. It was about a week after I got my diagnosis and I was at her Birthday party. It was Halloween so you can imagine how I felt surrounded by skeletons and ghosts. I think I told her because she is the most rational of all my friends. Her response was "OK, so what do we do about this?". I almost started crying because that is exactly the response I needed.

MOONLIGHT1114 · « **Reply #9 on:** August 09, 2007, 03:16:20 pm »

I told the first guy I dated after my husband died. I knew I had to, it was only fair, since things were becoming intimate. That was in late '96, I was diagnosed in Dec. '93. It wasn't until Thanksgiving '97 that I told any family, my brother was the first. He was very supportive, but couldn't believe this had happened to his big sis, and that my late husband had really died of AIDS. I didn't tell my parents until Feb. '98. At first they thought I sat them down to talk because I needed money, or because I was pregnant! LOL

~Cindy

woodshere · « **Reply #10 on:** August 09, 2007, 03:19:37 pm »

The first person I told was a complete stranger. Reason being, prior to taking my HIV test, I decided that I would not tell anyone I knew that I was HIV+ (which I highly suspected until I had processed things. But I also knew I would need to talk to someone, so I met with a friend who worked for AIM, AIDS Interfaith Ministry, and he gave me a couple of numbers of people to talk with, just in case. I got a phone call at work at 4:37 from my dr. telling me I was positive. As I was driving home I called one of the numbers I had, he just happened to be director of HIV Prevention for the health dept. It wasn't for several months before I told someone that I knew and then it was my minister.

Woods

David_CA · « **Reply #11 on:** August 09, 2007, 03:32:23 pm »

It would have been my hubby, but he's actually the one that told me. I used one of the mail-off tests where you call for results. I'd asked him to call for me, as I was too nervous to actually dial and wait for the results. I had 'suspicions' due to being notified by the Dept. of Health that I'd been listed as a contact by somebody recently diagnosed HIV+. I think the first person I told was one of my best friends who stopped by to visit and check on my results. That was a really strange day back in March '06 that I (not so) affectionately refer to as my Black Friday.

David

mjmel · « **Reply #12 on:** August 09, 2007, 03:46:22 pm »

The first person I told was a tenant who lived upstairs from me in the apartment building which I was maintaining/managing. He was an elderly man with snow white hair who had recently moved to Denver, from England. He was also gay, of course. He knew I was getting my results that day as we had spoken a week or two before......so then, he was waiting when I returned from the clinic. He told me later he knew my status as soon as he saw my face. I chuckle about it now but I wasn't laughing then.
Anyway, I thought that it was very kind of him to show concern and offer words of comfort. I can't remember his name but I can see his face as clear as though it was just yesterday.
I wasn't crying or emotional.......I was, in fact, comfortably numb.

Mike

milker · « **Reply #13 on:** August 09, 2007, 04:05:12 pm »

My best friend via IM. I told him I also got tested positive for Syphilis and that I obviously got the Jackpot. I thought it was hilarious. He was not laughing.

Milker.

DanielMark · « **Reply #14 on:** August 09, 2007, 04:12:35 pm »

Although it didn't come as a complete surprise, I remember I felt kind of numb after my doctor told me, then one by one I called up my closest friends and told them that same evening. That was nineteen years ago next month – September 8, 1988.

Some things you never forget.

Daniel

rick21007 · « **Reply #15 on:** August 09, 2007, 04:46:38 pm »

I called my husband who had just arrived in Paris that night. When I told him there was a long pause. Then he said "We will fight this together; my love for you is stronger than the virus." He told me that he could not sleep that night with worry and that he walked the streets of Paris until dawn.

Rick

emeraldize · « **Reply #16 on:** August 09, 2007, 04:52:17 pm »

Within 1/2 hr of receiving results, I called the person who infected me. As it turned out, he knowingly infected me. Minutes after receiving the confirmation blood test results two weeks later, I called my sister who's been an incredible friend to me.

Jerry71 · « **Reply #17 on:** August 09, 2007, 05:06:06 pm »

My Mom and Dad and my Sister, had no other choice they were at the hospital when I was checked in and were outside of the room when the doctor told me.

gemini20 · « **Reply #18 on:** August 09, 2007, 05:52:23 pm »

Ian, my boyfriend at the time and the man who had infected me. He knew I was going to get tested that day and wanted me to go over to his place after work and tell him the results.

Bucko · « **Reply #19 on:** August 09, 2007, 07:08:00 pm »

My ex and I found out together on a Friday in September of 1996. After spending a numb morning, we called our landlord (who had a house in PTown, too) and asked him if we could stay there for the weekend. As my voice was very heavy with emotion (I took it very poorly), he asked me what the hell was wrong, and I blurted it out.

On returning to work the following Tuesday, I told my boss who was incredibly supportive. I didn't tell my sister for about a week, who was pissed that I'd kept it from her.

Brent
(Who remembers it all very suddenly)

red_Dragon888 · « **Reply #20 on:** August 09, 2007, 07:16:01 pm »

My bf who was with me at the doctor's office. I kind of figured it out since he called and did not want to tell me over the phone. I went numb, could not hear the doctor support talk for minutes and decided "I would survive."

madbrain · « **Reply #21 on:** August 09, 2007, 08:30:06 pm »

Quote from: newbernswiss on August 09, 2007, 02:31:50 pm

Who was the first person you told about your HIV status???

My boyfriend, who took a test of his own the next day that came out positive too.

RapidRod · « **Reply #22 on:** August 09, 2007, 10:14:14 pm »

I didn't tell anyone. I threw the paper on the kitchen table and my whole family read it. Then I went to work.

Life · « **Reply #23 on:** August 09, 2007, 11:43:52 pm »

That would have been William. Out front of the College he works at just after the news. He hugged me and said, "Your not going to loose me that easily".. "We are probably in the same boat." We are......

Eric

northernguy · « **Reply #24 on:** August 10, 2007, 12:10:25 am »

My partner. It was just a few days after our 14th anniversary (nice present.) I came home from the doc and went right in and told him. I knew that was going to be the result, since my dr's office had called and asked me to come in for the test results which they never do (I usually call them). Funny, they were really tests for other stuff, but I figured I might as well get an HIV test while I was there.

xyahka · « **Reply #25 on:** August 10, 2007, 12:45:30 am »

After leaving Lab... trembling and trying to pray but bieng unable to do it... i remember i wished my friend (whom i loved since 2005) would call me. He was the only person who knew i would go to pick up my Elisa results. A minute later he called. He was the first person who knew it. Later on that night he told me he was diagnosed Aids a month later our last sexual relationship.

Juan Carlos

jupiter · « **Reply #26 on:** August 10, 2007, 12:19:20 pm »

Avery good friend and work collegue of mine. She was AMAZING. I am so thankful for here she was my rock

blondbeauty · « **Reply #27 on:** August 10, 2007, 12:46:36 pm »

My boyfriend.

Lisa · « **Reply #28 on:** August 10, 2007, 02:34:02 pm »

My kids, then my father. He was a forward thinking kinda guy, and I could talk about anything with him.

thunter34 · « **Reply #29 on:** August 10, 2007, 02:43:51 pm »

Ma and Pa Kettle. But I presented it to them as "HIV Positive" rather than "I have AIDS". I know them well enough to know that the presentation meant everything. "Positive" might be received as doctors and pills, but "AIDS" would translate to making funeral arrangements. I brought them into it in graduated steps. Once I was able to teach them basics of how the virus interacts with the immune system and the meds interact with the virus, I was able to present AIDS to them in what I felt was a more proper context.

Razorbill · « **Reply #30 on:** August 10, 2007, 03:09:03 pm »

I had been in denial for years and my health was showing signs of trouble. My friend Doug insisted I go to NYC with him for the then only fast test I could get. It took a couple hours and in the meantime after a couple of Xanax, too much booze and ralphing in the bathroom of some chic gay club (nicest bathroom I ever threw up in), we went back to his place and called for the results. He came up neg, as expected, and I positive. He started to cry, and I hugged him and told him it'll be OK. Strange role reversal, but I was so relieved to finally know, years of fear and anxiety melted away in moments. And I sobered up just as fast.

newone · « **Reply #31 on:** August 10, 2007, 05:43:07 pm »

..someone in here (lol) actually showing my picture...unfortunately I have never met him in person...

(still keeping my status secret from friends & relatives)

Iggy · « **Reply #32 on:** August 10, 2007, 06:53:38 pm »

This incredibly hot goy I was dating...ok, having sex with.

We had bareback sex and he asked me once if I ever worried about HIV...and I said (in typical 20-something nonchalant way) "Not really" and made some stupid philosophical comments about life and risks.

He said he was neg but he had an ex who was poz and had converted while they were together.

About two weeks later I got my official diagnosis. So I told him. Actually he guessed the second I said I wanted to speak with him.

We went out for dinner. We didn't have sex. I told him to get tested. He said he would call me.

A few weeks later he did call saying he tested neg and was sorry if his reaction that night was cold. I was surprised he thought himself cold that night. I realized that he was uncomfortable having sex with me going forward as I think I assumed he couldn't get involved me someone else who was poz - I can't place the reason (it was many a moon ago) but I think his ex had seriously bad health and it went very downhill.

Anyway, he said he wanted to stay in touch and I never heard from him again.

pozguy75 · « **Reply #33 on:** August 10, 2007, 06:54:38 pm »

Quote from: Iggy on August 10, 2007, 06:53:38 pm

This incredibly hot goy I was dating...ok, having sex with.

We had bareback sex and he asked me once if I ever worried about HIV...and I said (in typical 20-something nonchalant way) "Not really" and made some stupid philosophical comments about life and risks.

He said he was neg but he had an ex who was poz and had converted while they were together.

About two weeks later I got my official diagnosis. So I told him. Actually he guessed the second I said I wanted to speak with him.

We went out for dinner. We didn't have sex. I told him to get tested. He said he would call me.

A few weeks later he did call saying he tested neg and was sorry if his reaction that night was cold. I was surprised he thought himself cold that night. I realized that he was uncomfortable having sex with me going forward as I think I assumed he couldn't get involved me someone else who was poz - I can't place the reason (it was many a moon ago) but I think his ex had seriously bad health and it went very downhill.

Anyway, he said he wanted to stay in touch and I never heard from him again.

I am so jealous...

MoltenStorm · « **Reply #34 on:** August 10, 2007, 09:41:08 pm »

I called my boyfriend at the time (who had tested the day before me), and he left work early to come pick me up since I was on the verge of tears. He spent the next 3 months flip-flopping on whether he could handle it or not. I finally ended up making the decision for him.

*puts on Kelly Clarkson's 'Walk Away'*

carousel · « **Reply #35 on:** August 11, 2007, 05:07:27 am »

I called a friend, who was also an ex-boyfriend who was positive. I didn't feel I could explain to other people. I asked if he was surprised. He said, 'Nope'.

I couldn't tell my best friend until a couple of days after. I had slept with him in the last few months. He is also an ex-boyfriend. I didn't infect him, but he is now positive, despite me telling me ad nauseam that he didn't want to go through this.

The evening I was diagnosed, I had to meet another friend who I was sleeping with. I didn't know how to tell him. Oh, by the way, you might have HIV. Unfortunately, I slept with him again as I was too scared to explain. Like every time we had sex, the issue of condoms didn't really come up. I shot my load into him, rather than face up to it. It was a bad judgement.

When I did explain, he said he would get tested. Until I started to type this, I had forgotten that we fucked again that night, without condoms. He got tested in a few days and after three months, he was negative. But in a year or so, he was also tested positive. He had told me that he was going to change his ways, he wasn't going to get HIV. Hey ho.

Oceanbeach · « **Reply #36 on:** August 14, 2007, 06:52:36 am »

It would have been a "flavor of the month"... But there were so many then. One day I was at the Mineshaft for happy hour with my evil twin... Blanche Face said someting like, "don't look now face but 5 of your boyfriends just walked in together. I looked up from my drink and said no 6, I'm seeing all of them and lets go party.

Have the best day
Michael

bocker3 · « **Reply #37 on:** August 14, 2007, 07:22:43 am »

I came home from from the clinic after getting my results -- like many, not a surprise, but shocking none the less. I called my partner, Sid, to make sure he was coming right home after work. He could tell something was wrong, but I insisted everything was fine -- he didn't know I had been tested. I went back to work to get my laptop and tell my boss that I was taking the rest of the day off. Apparently my anguish was visible because everyone who saw me asked me what was wrong.
When Sid got home - I blurted it out and cried on his shoulder -- it was 3 weeks after our 15th anniversary. Once I composed myself, I told him that I arranged with the clinic for someone to come back that evening to test him, if he wanted. We went in and (after the longest 20 min wait of my life) he tested negative. This set off another round of tears for me -- the relief was immense.
Everything is still so vivid from the day, two year ago. I can still see the 5 fish in aquarium of the "test waiting area".

Mike

koksi · « **Reply #38 on:** August 14, 2007, 07:39:22 am »

My boyfriend was at the doctor's with me when I got the result. I remember the doctor using a strange locution, like, "We did the test, and it was reactive." My boyfriend started crying. I just sat there. I hate it when he cries: it literally hurts me. Nothing is scarier for me than watching him cry, since I depend on him to be strong.

I believe that night I went to dinner with my best friend, who tried to be reassuring by saying things like, "I know other people who have it. It's not that big a deal" or something like that. He has since showed that he indeed does not view it as a big deal, since he never ever asks me how I am doing, does not return my phone calls and emails. Some friend.

After that I can't remember the order in which I told people, but I did come out to several friends pretty quickly. It was weirdly exciting for some reason. But though my community of friends knows all about it, my family and colleagues know nothing.

leatherman · « **Reply #39 on:** August 14, 2007, 01:02:24 pm »

I told my partner Randy, who was already sick but hadn't been tested. Three months later, I went home to NC (from Ohio) and told my mom, two brothers and their wives, and my GrandMother. It was the worst trip home ever. But it's almost 15 yrs later, and I just returned from another trip home, where we celebrated my Grandmother's 90th birthday, and it was the best trip home ever!

sdcabincrew74 · « **Reply #40 on:** August 14, 2007, 01:12:45 pm »

Well my partner was in the hospital room when the doctor told me I had AIDS and PCP. The doc wanted my partner to leave but I figured it was easier for him to hear it then, rather than me tell him. I told my sister a while later and then my family. Very few others know and honestly, I plan to keep it that way. Not embarassed or anything, just really do not think it is anyones business, ya know?

cjc · « **Reply #41 on:** August 14, 2007, 01:19:41 pm »

The first people i told i was HIV+ were my parents. i took a test through the health department and they came to my parents house to tell me since that's where I was(and still am) staying. My mom cried and my Dad didn't say much but they have been here for me every step of this journey and I haven't regretted telling them . Cristy

gaspode · « **Reply #42 on:** August 14, 2007, 05:46:25 pm »

My bf at that time. He tested neg. He ditched me about a year later

Interestingly, he died about 13 years later, at the tender age of 39, from a heart attack. Think twice before you ditch this bitch!!

catwoman · « **Reply #43 on:** August 15, 2007, 02:05:50 am »

My Daddy

BT65 · « **Reply #44 on:** August 15, 2007, 05:51:55 pm »

The first person I told was my sponsor from a 12-step program.

Falkore · « **Reply #45 on:** August 19, 2007, 10:49:15 pm »

My boyfriend (at the time) was with me when I got the initial 20 minute test. We had gone to get tested together and he went first and I was called a moment later. We waited around for the results and when his results came back the person who took his test came to the table we were sitting at and said, "Since you two are a couple I will let you both know, the results came back as non-reactive." Then it was my turn and the guy called me over and told me alone. We both went to the clinic near by and had the blood draw for the full Western Blott test. Two weeks later we both came back and I got my results alone and then went into the room where he was getting his results. I was positive and for some reason they had not completed the western blott test for him. I cried as I kneeled next to him and told him that I was positive.

The next person I told was a good friend of mine who had worked with HIV + people in the past. He had worked as a volunteer for an HIV/AIDS hospice and had dealth with the worst of the virus. I knew that he would know what was going on. He helped me deal with it along with my boyfriend.

Family still does not know... but in time they will.

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Author Topic: Who was the First Person you told that you were HIV +++ (Read 11403 times)

Dan J.