Just to put some things into perspective for me (at 4am, which makes it better).

[Mouse]

Whenever I write out things like this it's because I'd had a weird couple of days or weeks and I feel like getting things back in order. This time, though, everything has been perfectly normal - and I think that's why I'm a little confused. Normal in my life is about as unusual as my being attracted to someone close to my age and if you know me at all you know how weird that is. It's happened like - twice.

But that's the thing, it's happened, and it seems to have happened at least semi-permanently and that's just adding to the freakishness.

I joined this forum when I was 14 and I'm now just half a year away from being 17 and it's eerie how much things have changed. To most of the people here, 2 1/2 years is like nothing, but if you consider that at this point in time two years to me is 1/8th of my life, it's a big lapse. In 2 1/2 years since I've joined, I've managed to go through enough boyfriends to rival some people twice my age, managed to get my mom fed up with me enough to kick me out of the house, been through enough pets for a small zoo (and enough tears on behalf of them), managed to throw myself out of public highschool and that's only like half of it.

But, I've also made more than a handful of ridiculously sweet friends who, for the first time in my life, have been able to open up to completely about everything I've ever been scared to discuss about myself in the past. I've brought my grades up. I've aquired a boyfriend whom I have been with for half a year now and can feel an element of comfortable routine brewing in our relationship. In a lot of ways, in most ways, I think, I prefer this to the so-sweet-you-could-vomit taste you inevitably get with every new boyfriend - and which somehow makes every new crush feel like the first crush you've ever had, except slightly less embarrassing because this time you're not throwing rocks at them and crying when they make fun of you in front of the rest of your 3rd grade class.

It seems I'm also destined to soon be thrust into the ranks of working America as I will be speaking to the owner of a thrift store downtown to see if I can get a job at her fine establishment - targeted by old ladies with blue hair and teenagers that are so goth they couldn't bare to shop at any store that is frequented by anyone that wears anything but black.

Some of you might recall that I worked at a Chinese restaurant last year for an entire day. You might also recall that it only lasted a day because my training for the job consisted of standing behind a counter, trying to learn how to take orders from a 20-year-old Chinese lady that didn't speak English and who was holding her baby in one arm and typing with the other. It was a mess (other than the really hot guy that worked at the sushi bar. He smiled at me once the entire time I was there and I felt my legs turn to the consistancy of egg drop soup). I think this job might work out better.

I've found that some people suck more than others (in a not so good way) and some suck a lot less than others (but in a good way). Sometimes, you find a really kickass used bookstore downtown, go in there with your boyfriend and gain a reputation with the employees as the "nice gay couple that comes in often and always buys a lot of classics and fantasy novels" and sometimes you're walking down the street and a gang of teenage boys on bikes loudly questions you why the two of you are holding hands and ask if you're gay or something and promptly follow you up to your house.

Sometimes you have to take really shit meds that make you ill almost constantly, and sometimes you find yourself on just the right stuff for your body and no longer have to know exactly where the restrooms are every time you go somewhere new.

I don't know, I'm pretty happy - tomorrow morning I have to do state testing in this shit hotel in the next city over and I haven't slept all night and I have to wake up in about 3 1/2 hours. But then I'm going shopping tomorrow night with my boyfriend, a drag queen friend of mine and this bitch bisexual girl friend of ours. So, things have been balancing out rather well.

[Christine]

Jaser,
You pretty much summed up life. Sometimes it is great, sometimes it is horrible. Having people around you who love you make it all worthwhile.

I wish I was as wise at 17.

Good luck with your tests.
Christine

[Mouse]

Jaser,
You pretty much summed up life. Sometimes it is great, sometimes it is horrible. Having people around you who love you make it all worthwhile.

I wish I was as wise at 17.

Good luck with your tests.
Christine

16 1/2. I'm an entire half a year smarter.

Anyway, I didn't sleep at all last night.  But I managed to get the testing done this morning. Only took me an hour! It would've taken me less time if the facilitator assigned to guide me through the test wasn't incredibly fucking hot. Oh. My. God. He has this hair and these eyes and I was a bit distracted.

Oh, yes. Just another example of how bad situations pick themselves up.

Oohhh, yes.