POZ Community Forums
Meds, Mind, Body & Benefits => Mental Health & HIV => Topic started by: Torchwood on November 20, 2014, 10:31:52 am
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Nov 1st was my 3yr anniversary of Complera. I have been suffering from acute depression for the past 6 months. Yesterday morning I almost put a bullet in my head. I am over that now. My survival mechanism for depression is to turn it into anger. I have been angry a lot this year. A lot of yelling and stomping around the house. I have never hit anyone, pretended to hit anyone, broken things, punched walls or been verbally abusive. I raise my voice and yell. My wife told me that EVERYONE in my life is afraid to tell me anything because they are afraid of my response. She says no one wants to be yelled at.
Today I asked my doctor for suggestions on taking something other than Complera. We'll see what he says.
Yes, there is a lot of other things going on with me and more that I will never reveal. Quit the benzo's after 8.5 years, still feeling that shit and my CNS recovering. Wife and I are separated and I am living an hour away, on a mattress tossed on the floor in an empty house where the only 4 pieces of furniture are a TV, TV stand, folding table and a desk chair. It is just a miserable, lonely existence by myself. I no longer have a career. If we were to split up, I am just screwed. Found out that while I was gone for 2 weeks earlier this year running a yearly charity event I do, the new CPA told my wife that 1 of 3 people were stealing money from her. I was one of those 3 people. CPA later found the missing transactions. That CPA is going to be fired soon.
Spent last night at the house with my wife. We're working on things. Started marriage counseling this week. Today should be interesting. My wife has her therapy session today. We are both in therapy individually. I will also add that I am not normally a depressed. I also dumped my psychiatrist and am going to get a new one. Currently taking it day by day.
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Hi Torch, sorry to hear of the rough time you've been having but good to see your trying to patch things up with your wife, wish you luck..
Have you thought of maybe asking your doc to switch you to Tivicay/Truvada?.. It might be the rilpivirine in complera that's depressing you.
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Torchwood; Sorry to hear of your difficulties, but it sounds like you are making some good steps to improve things - such as marriage counseling. My experience is that marriage counseling is a great thing when both parties really try.
Complera.....I am in the process of switching off Complera (I have some reserve that I want to use up first) because of similar (albiet less severe) issues you are having. I am switching to Truvada and Tivicay. My advice would be to switch off Complera as fast as possible.
I wish you well,
JM
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I started Zoloft 2 days ago. At least I am back in control of myself again. Realized yesterday that I laughed for the first time in over a month.
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What made you laugh?
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I was on Complera a couple years ago and it caused major depression and anxiety. I have underlying depression and anxietyy and after being on conplera a few days I had the worst depression of my life I stayed in bed and thought horrendous hopeless thoughts and had major panic and total hopelessness. Awful medication for me. I got off of it in a hurry.