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Author Topic: Something is weird, not right, wacked.....  (Read 4831 times)

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Offline Life

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Something is weird, not right, wacked.....
« on: March 18, 2007, 09:19:38 pm »
I have not posted in awhile... Thought I had better... Eric here..  Yeah I had AM change my user ID cuz of a potential problem of anonymity.. Sorry for the confusion... 

Its just this feeling I have been having.  Change of season, everything is melting and becoming green.  Yet somewhere inside me I don't feel right...   Not physically but more a sense of a mild depression and it keeps swinging back and forth and its pissing me off...  I went off Paxil about 5 months ago and I am wondering if that was good idea?  Mine....

I want my life back and I am just stalling out... I have it, but don't believe it....  Familiar??  Tomorrow or the next day I will get my labs back after the longest I have been between doctor visits (3 months) and I am not all that worried about that.....   Having trouble "staying in the day"  in a big way and its mucking me about...  I use to be in control and its so blasted obvious I cannot and never have beeeeen.....

On a weird note,  the company I work for want me to do a testimonial on "Postive Service"  and I have not a clue what the hell I am going to talk about.... If they only knew what was behind the mask....

bla bla bla...

Eric

« Last Edit: March 18, 2007, 10:09:26 pm by Life »

Offline milker

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Re: Something is weird, not right, wacked.....
« Reply #1 on: March 18, 2007, 10:37:39 pm »
Puking your feelings in a public forum is a good thing. You're feeling down today but tomorrow will be another day. It's good that you know a place where to vent, and it's here :)

Positive service? You're the king of it ! :)
mid-dec: stupid ass
mid-jan: seroconversion
mid-feb: poz
mar 07: cd4 432 (35%) vl 54000
may 07: cd4 399 (28%) vl 27760
jul 07: cd4 403 (26%) vl 99241
oct 07: cd4 353 (24%) vl 29993
jan 08: cd4 332 (26%) vl 33308
mar 08: cd4 392 (23%) vl 75548
jun 08: cd4 325 (27%) vl 45880
oct 08: cd4 197 (20%) vl 154000 <== aids diagnosis
nov 2 08 start Atripla
nov 30 08: cd4 478 (23%) vl 1880 !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
feb 19 09: cd4 398 (24%) vl 430 getting there!
apr 23 09: cd4 604 (29%) vl 50 woohoo :D :D
jul 30 09: cd4 512 (29%) vl undetectable :D :D
may 27 10: cd4 655 (32%) vl undetectable :D :D

Now accepting applications from blowjob ninjas™

Offline Life

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Re: Something is weird, not right, wacked.....
« Reply #2 on: March 18, 2007, 10:50:08 pm »
 ;D  I never thought of it quite like that....  I will shake this off.... damit...  :)

Offline milker

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Re: Something is weird, not right, wacked.....
« Reply #3 on: March 18, 2007, 10:58:38 pm »
Great! Do you Tango?   :D :D :D :D
mid-dec: stupid ass
mid-jan: seroconversion
mid-feb: poz
mar 07: cd4 432 (35%) vl 54000
may 07: cd4 399 (28%) vl 27760
jul 07: cd4 403 (26%) vl 99241
oct 07: cd4 353 (24%) vl 29993
jan 08: cd4 332 (26%) vl 33308
mar 08: cd4 392 (23%) vl 75548
jun 08: cd4 325 (27%) vl 45880
oct 08: cd4 197 (20%) vl 154000 <== aids diagnosis
nov 2 08 start Atripla
nov 30 08: cd4 478 (23%) vl 1880 !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
feb 19 09: cd4 398 (24%) vl 430 getting there!
apr 23 09: cd4 604 (29%) vl 50 woohoo :D :D
jul 30 09: cd4 512 (29%) vl undetectable :D :D
may 27 10: cd4 655 (32%) vl undetectable :D :D

Now accepting applications from blowjob ninjas™

Offline Life

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  • Member 2005
Re: Something is weird, not right, wacked.....
« Reply #4 on: March 18, 2007, 11:01:50 pm »
Crap! I thought you might ask me that....  I can Waltz is all.... :)

Offline Blixer

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Re: Something is weird, not right, wacked.....
« Reply #5 on: March 18, 2007, 11:12:35 pm »
Hey Eric,

Good to see you back!  And I'm anxiously awaiting the results from your labs!  I'm confident that they will be fantastic.

I can definately identify with what you are describing.  Maybe it is just the "coming out of winter" thing.  If you get it figured out, please share.

Hugs my friend,
David
Diagnosed 1/9/06
8/27/2007 CD4 598, 29%, VL 58 (72 wks)
11/19/2007 CD4 609, 30%, VL < 50 (84 wks)
2/11/2008 CD4 439, 27%, VL <50 (96 wks)
5/5/2008 CD4 535, 28%, VL <50 (108 wks)
10/20/2008 CD4 680, 28%, VL <50 (132 wks)
Changed to Atripla in 2012
1/14/2013 CD4 855, 35%, VL <40

Offline milker

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Re: Something is weird, not right, wacked.....
« Reply #6 on: March 18, 2007, 11:15:21 pm »
Well i'm oversexed so Tango is what I was thinking about, but Waltz will do :)

Get well

Milker
mid-dec: stupid ass
mid-jan: seroconversion
mid-feb: poz
mar 07: cd4 432 (35%) vl 54000
may 07: cd4 399 (28%) vl 27760
jul 07: cd4 403 (26%) vl 99241
oct 07: cd4 353 (24%) vl 29993
jan 08: cd4 332 (26%) vl 33308
mar 08: cd4 392 (23%) vl 75548
jun 08: cd4 325 (27%) vl 45880
oct 08: cd4 197 (20%) vl 154000 <== aids diagnosis
nov 2 08 start Atripla
nov 30 08: cd4 478 (23%) vl 1880 !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
feb 19 09: cd4 398 (24%) vl 430 getting there!
apr 23 09: cd4 604 (29%) vl 50 woohoo :D :D
jul 30 09: cd4 512 (29%) vl undetectable :D :D
may 27 10: cd4 655 (32%) vl undetectable :D :D

Now accepting applications from blowjob ninjas™

Offline Life

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  • Posts: 2,389
  • Member 2005
Re: Something is weird, not right, wacked.....
« Reply #7 on: March 18, 2007, 11:25:40 pm »
Im a quick learner!  :D

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4se7auC-6bo

David.....  Thanks as always sweetie!

Love

Eric

Offline allopathicholistic

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Re: Something is weird, not right, wacked.....
« Reply #8 on: March 19, 2007, 10:45:01 am »
went off Paxil about 5 months ago  

Hey Eric honey. Could you clarify for us, Dr. B gave you precise instructions on how to stop Paxil and you didn't follow them? ??? I don't get it. Is Paxil one of those drugs you can "just stop" ???  :-[  If not, I would think Dr. B needs to know what's up!  :-\

Hugs for you,
Alex


Offline Life

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Re: Something is weird, not right, wacked.....
« Reply #9 on: March 19, 2007, 04:33:32 pm »
Hi Alex... Dr. Ben told me when I felt more stable, I could go off Paxil and if it became a problem that we could talk about it further....   I personally would rather "deal" with my stuff rather than put it on the back burner.  I don't like the idea much to be on anti's but I know they have their place and i am for certain not going to rule them out.....

I did get my numbers back from Ben today and I am again happy about it.....   My percentage bounces around a bit but it seems I might become a member of that elusive  400 Club next run around...  ;)

Eric

Offline Longislander

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Re: Something is weird, not right, wacked.....
« Reply #10 on: March 19, 2007, 04:35:30 pm »
pretty #'s sweetie! ;D
infected 10/05 diagnosed 12-05
2/06   379/57000                    6/07 372/30500 25%   4/09 640/U/32% 
5/06   ?? /37000                     8/07 491/55000/24%    9/09 913/U/39%
8/06   349/9500 25%              11/07 515/68000/24     2/10 845/U/38%
9/06   507/16,000 30% !          2/08  516/116k/22%    7/10 906/80/39%
12/06 398/29000 26%             Start Atripla 3/08
3/07   402/80,000 29%            4/08  485/undet!/27
4/07   507/35,000 25%            7/08 625/UD/34%
                                                 11/08 684/U/36%

Offline Andy Velez

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Re: Something is weird, not right, wacked.....
« Reply #11 on: March 19, 2007, 05:48:13 pm »
Congrats on your happy numbers results, Life.

As for your talk on "Positive Service," keep it simple. How about just talking some about what you like about your job and maybe one example of a problem and how it was resolved. Do the problem part first so you can wrap it all up with a happy ending which is what your employer probably wants. Keeping it real and personal will automatically stir identification with you in the audience.

Andy Velez

Offline bocker3

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  • You gotta enjoy life......
Re: Something is weird, not right, wacked.....
« Reply #12 on: March 19, 2007, 07:04:40 pm »
Hi Sweetie,

Congrats on the results.  Hopefully, that will take one thing off your mind. 

For your talk -- just like Andy said, Keep It Simple.  I really do like his ideas on how to set up the talk.  Try not to overthink and just talk about what feels right.

Hugs,
Mike

Offline Life

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Re: Something is weird, not right, wacked.....
« Reply #13 on: March 20, 2007, 10:18:09 pm »
Andy and Mike,  I am feeling better the past two days...  Life continues to move on with or without me..  I am working on staying engaged in it...   I submitted a written text for the "Service" deal and was told I made a few people cry a bit... We will see what they do with it  ;D...  Im such a drama queen...

Thanks,  Im glad the numbers game is done for another 3 months... Some of this could be tied to that..   

Love

Eric

Offline bear60

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Re: Something is weird, not right, wacked.....
« Reply #14 on: March 21, 2007, 09:31:50 am »
Eric
I just cant get this image out of my head.

« Last Edit: March 22, 2007, 09:58:15 am by bear60 »
Poz Bear Type in Philadelphia

Offline koi1

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Re: Something is weird, not right, wacked.....
« Reply #15 on: March 21, 2007, 08:49:43 pm »
Hi Eric,

I am glad you are feeling a little better. Good to see your numbers are going in the right erection, I mean direction. I miss your pic, though I can understand the anonymity thing. Glad to see that you are back. You are a sweetie.

rob
diagnosed on 11/20/06 viral load 23,000  cd4 97    8%
01/04/07 six weeks after diagnosis vl 53,000 cd4 cd4 70    6%
Began sustiva truvada 01/04/07
newest labs  drawn on 01/15/07  vl 1,100    cd4 119    7%
Drawn 02/10/07
cd4=160 viral load= 131 percentage= 8%
New labs 3/10/07 (two months on sustiva truvada
cd4 count 292  percentage 14 viral load undetectable

Offline Life

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Re: Something is weird, not right, wacked.....
« Reply #16 on: March 21, 2007, 08:56:38 pm »
Joel - I loved that Cereal as a kid !  I know I am not very creative... But I love to "blend" in.....

Rob - You know if its not hot, its cold, if it's not good it's bad with me.   I am still trying to find that middle ground and not over-react, but I can remember even before hiv, that I did this...  So, its sorta my nature..  Thanks for being here Rob...

Hugs,

Eric

Offline tigger2376

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  • too bad to die youngish!
Re: Something is weird, not right, wacked.....
« Reply #17 on: March 21, 2007, 09:36:31 pm »
Glad your numbers were good, and its great to see you again. Other people have already said what I would have done, but just be yourself and you'll be great
x
I know i'm going to enjoy the party in the afterlife, but do you all mind that I'm going to be VERY late!!!

 


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