POZ Community Forums

Off Topic Forums => Off Topic Forum => Topic started by: ManISOMan on March 03, 2007, 03:43:28 am

Title: Just curious........................
Post by: ManISOMan on March 03, 2007, 03:43:28 am
...............if you look under "Treatment Questions," and then under the thread "Stop Meds,".......you'll see someone has stated their experience and their opinion.  And, they were given a warning.

Also, if you look under "Treatment Questions," and then under "Aids and the future,"  you'll see someone has been given a warning near the bottom of the page for their tone and didn't call anyone a name or use profanity..............unless you consider crap, profanity.  Also, it was suggested to this person that they look at other threads and see how people talk to one another.  I find that a joke.....................I mean should he look at the "Tyra Banks," thread, oh that's right she will probably never see this................so what does it matter.

Now, I've seen here where people can state clearly that they don't like "Tyra Banks," or the way something was done in the "Anna Nicole" situation.  So, is it only okay to put people down or say mean things if the people aren't on this forum or dead and the people most likely won't see what is written and won't reply.

I've heard sarcasm used and profanity abounds.  I'm quite guilty of the sarcasm myself.  Frankly, I enjoy a little sarcasm.

But exactly where do guidelines apply and where do they stop, why do they apply to some and not to others.  I've had an issue with things someone wrote and things someone said and pointed this out................. I in turn was told I was rude...............but that's okay...................I'm not part of the clique............................the elite or established forumites.

I've brought up the topic of hypocrisy and of course it was read but no replies were made, well at least not on the thread but perhaps amongst the clique in private.

Is it that people are afraid of the global moderators, should we not express how we feel even if it may differ from a global moderator.    The last time I checked, my existence, thoughts, ideas(similar or conflicting) are as important as anyone's.  It may be true that I don't express myself as well as I could or would like or in a way that someone else would like.................but, I do attempt to maintain some civility. 

I'm sure that many people here may be bothered by something someone says.............I don't need someone to be warned, or threatened.  What I'd like is the chance to speak my mind just as they have.............................nothing more. 

And, I don't care if someone states how they feel about Tyra Banks, but I don't understand why when I have stated how I feel...................and I don't think I've come close to the way she has been bashed when I expressed my feeling towards another forumite...............that I in turn am told I am rude.  Although, I can assume, it's because people stand behind the people they like and don't feel the need to be objective.

But, please feel free to point out how I've been so rude............................but then be sure that you haven't done the same or worse.........................does it matter if the person will ever read what you wrote....................I'm certain it doesn't. 

I consider myself to mostly be a very positive person, but it's easy to get depressed as you often feel like the outsider being new when you go into these forums and that you don't belong.  Of course, this does not hold true for everyone here obviously.  I've met a few nice people, people that send me private messages.  Yes, can you believe, I am able to find a few people that like me.  And, no it isn't my goal to be liked by everyone.  At least, I will not become a different person so that I can be liked by more.  That's not to say that I don't think I can do things differently and perhaps that would bring more people into my life.  Can't we all do better?  Can't we all be better people than we are today?

I don't care if you're tired of my ramblings as you are Tyra Banks.................have you thought someone may be just as tired of yours...................and no, I don't mean to just be speaking to the person that began the Tyra thread.................if it applies, it applies...............if it doesn't, it doesn't.

I did state once before that I do attempt to treat people as I'd like to be treated..................and of course something smart was said about that...............but that's okay.................well, at least in the person's eyes that said it.....................and that person's fan club. 

But, we could all take a good look at ourselves and examine our actions.  Thank you for reading, and I wish you well!

Sincerely,
Scott
(Perhaps someone will reply........................perhaps not!)
Title: Re: Just curious........................
Post by: Longislander on March 03, 2007, 03:59:37 am
Hi Scott,  no doubt about this.. there are cliques here, and some people get away with a hell of a lot more than other people. But , as in having HIV, you just gotta accept it......... :-\
Title: Re: Just curious........................
Post by: ManISOMan on March 03, 2007, 04:05:49 am
Hello Longislander,

And, I thank you and applaud you for your voice, sincerely.  But, you're wrong about one thing, I don't have to accept it.  I will continue to speak out when I see things that aren't right.....................or that I think are hypocritical.  I may get the boot for it......................and about that I'd have no choice.

Again, thank you, it's refreshing to hear a voice!

Sincerely,
Scott
Title: Re: Just curious........................
Post by: Longislander on March 03, 2007, 04:15:14 am
You're correct, you can choose not to accept it.  But your fingers will fall off, or you'll be banned before it makes a difference. ;)

If you get banned, there won't be any of your amusing posts for me to read...
Title: Re: Just curious........................
Post by: RapidRod on March 03, 2007, 04:16:17 am
I don't seen anything wrong with Andy's reply.
Title: Re: Just curious........................
Post by: ManISOMan on March 03, 2007, 04:19:35 am
And, I didn't see anything wrong with the other person's reply.
Title: Re: Just curious........................
Post by: RapidRod on March 03, 2007, 04:31:53 am
I don't see anything wrong with the other statement except telling someone to quit feeling sorry for yourself. That wasn't necessary to add.
Title: Re: Just curious........................
Post by: ManISOMan on March 03, 2007, 04:37:36 am
Perhaps, it wasn't necessary.......................................but I'm guessing the other person felt the need to say it.............................I don't know myself what kind of day they were having. 

Have you ever thought that and not said it to someone?  I know I've thought it.

I see people that smoke that are worried about the side effects of HIV Meds........................I don't get that and I've pointed it out.....................of course it's not usually received well. 

But, how do you put that cigarette in your mouth, knowing the possible effects and yet you are frightened about the effects of HIV meds?  Well, it's just the way people are................isn't it?
Title: Re: Just curious........................
Post by: RapidRod on March 03, 2007, 04:45:57 am
There are times you should just keep some thoughts to yourself. I don't think anything would have been said if it would have been done in the off topic forum instead of the Treatment Question forum.
Title: Re: Just curious........................
Post by: ManISOMan on March 03, 2007, 05:16:54 am
Well Rapidrod,

Under the thread, "I did something good" which I know you're familiar with, jkinatl2 said to me that "maybe offering some support would establish you as a decent guy with a vested interest in the well being of others with HIV.

Well, one week, some time ago, I settled myself into a hospital room voluntarily.  I was about to receive another cycle of Interleukin-2, of which is part of a study in which I am enrolled and don't receive compensation.  At the same time I was volunteering to have a lymph node biopsy, and two IV's to have BRDU and Deterium injected, for which I would later have to do apheresis.  I did get paid for the additional studies and that was a big part of my motivation for doing them.  I got an infection from the lymph node surgery and needed to take antibiotics and then got C-Diff. 

Now, I don't state this to be self aggrandizing or make myself seem important, but to make a point that I don't think someone needs to tell me that I need to prove I'm a decent guy with a vested interested in the well being of others with HIV. 

But, as I'm sure you sided with the other party in that whole thread, you'lll have no empathy for how I felt about this, either.  And, if I'm wrong, I'm sorry.

I know this wasn't a necessary comment as were others made under that thread.
Title: Re: Just curious........................
Post by: ManISOMan on March 03, 2007, 05:40:17 am
Of course, it's speaking from experience..............limited as it's been my short time here.............that this thread will just be declared a "pissing match" and ended by the global moderator.

Well, you know what, I take offense to having my feelings deemed a pissing match!  But, that's okay if you're a global moderator, apparently.

But, you know what Andy and Ann, you're simply appointed here to be global moderators, and frankly I don't think either of you do such a great job. 

Gee, what will I do when you kick me out of your clique.....................................it must be nice to feel as though you're just so important.  And, it's not like I have the money to travel to San Fran to meet and greet others in this club.  I mean San Fran, that says something as well..................one of the most expensive cities is chosen for people with HIV to meet.....................well, I guess that it's mostly for rich people with HIV................and yes, I've been told there is some assistance provided. 

And no rich people with HIV shouldn't make any apologies for not having the financial hardships that some others with HIV have.........................I mean only Tyra Banks or Oprah should stop talking about themselves. 

Why don't  you tell us what it's like to be able to travel so much, Ann.  Share your pictures............do you think it makes others sometimes just a little aware of what they don't have or aren't able to do................but you're not showing off..........................it's just sharing..............I know.

Am I angry, you're darn right I'm angry............................probably not as bothered as you'd believe.  But, just sick of the hypocrisy I witness............................and when others stand up for their friends simply because they are their friends.   

We are not all in the same boat..........................except in regard to having HIV/AIDS.  I don't begrudge people the things that they have...............................but if you can make someone feel bad and you're a global moderator.....................should you be a global moderator....................perhaps, but then you should remember that people are as human as you are!

Title: Re: Just curious........................
Post by: RapidRod on March 03, 2007, 05:53:32 am
ManISOMan, you haven't been here long enough to see how much work the moderators go to keep the boards running proficient. If you don't like the way this site is being operated then they're plenty of other sites for you to visit.
Title: Re: Just curious........................
Post by: ManISOMan on March 03, 2007, 05:57:36 am
Rapidrod,
Gee, why am I not surprised that you'd say this to me.  And you're such a warm friendly guy yourself, aren't you?

Thanks for telling me what my options are.................
Title: Re: Just curious........................
Post by: RapidRod on March 03, 2007, 06:16:51 am
You've been here only nine days and you make those kinds of statements and have no background of the moderators to make such statements. Yes, the option I gave you is what is available to you.
Title: Re: Just curious........................
Post by: Ann on March 03, 2007, 11:01:41 am
Why don't  you tell us what it's like to be able to travel so much, Ann.  Share your pictures............do you think it makes others sometimes just a little aware of what they don't have or aren't able to do................but you're not showing off..........................it's just sharing..............I know.

Scott,

Huh? Travel? I wish! I haven't been anywhere in ages, aside from my six-weekly visits to clinic in Liverpool. I live on benefits (I'm not a paid moderator) and barely make ends meet just living day to day on the Rock. I'm not going to SF either, because any spare money I can scrape together goes to making sure my daughter finishes school.

I'm sorry you think I participate in "cliques" on this website. I do as best as humanly possibly to be fair in any of my moderator related activities.

Ann
Title: Re: Just curious........................
Post by: Elizabeth on March 03, 2007, 11:21:28 am
You've been here only nine days and you make those kinds of statements and have no background of the moderators to make such statements. Yes, the option I gave you is what is available to you.

Hey Rod - Congrats!

I didn't realize that you became a moderator.  Hope they are paying you well.

Title: Re: Just curious........................
Post by: David_CA on March 03, 2007, 11:33:24 am
You know, the funny thing, to me, is that I haven't a clue who Tyra Banks is.  Unless she has something to do with me, people close to me, folks here on the forums, is in some way helping/ hurting our treatment of HIV, I couldn't care less. 

As to the cliques... I know groups that are friends here on the forums.  They say about the same things in their replies.  They're also pretty harmless.  I've been here a year (today, actually) and haven't been harmed by them.  I do ask for support, advice, or info when I need it.  I also try to give the same to others.  When you describe all the 'good' you're doing by being in a study, that's great.  That would be a good subject for a post.  It doesn't have squat to do with how you're judged here, though.  I judge you like you've walked into my house during a party.  How you treat my friends and me, and how you act in general, is how I judge you.  Who or what you are outside the setting that I know you makes very little, if any, difference.  I'm not going to say everybody else here feels this way, but I'd certainly say that a lot do.  At least that's how I feel I've been judged. 

David
Title: Re: Just curious........................
Post by: Andy Velez on March 03, 2007, 11:48:29 am
Scott, with regard to the particular thread you're concerned about, there's an issue involved in the situation about which you, as a recent arrival at the site, may not be aware.

We have for several years had to deal with serious invasion attacks from HIV denialists whose stated goal is to destroy this site.

There was a question in my mind about whether the writer might or might not be connected with denialists since some of what he wrote reflects denialists position regarding meds. They come on to the site in all different modes and not always immediately apparent ones.

But I also recognized he might have been writing in good faith which is why I issued a "warning," figuring that if he was legitimately just expressing his own experience it would become clearer in subsequent exchanges. It was a judgement call on my part which you may disagree with, but one which I felt was necessary. 

I'm glad you have found your way to this site and hope you find it to be helpful and supportive.
Title: Re: Just curious........................
Post by: Andy Velez on March 03, 2007, 11:54:06 am
Elizabeth, with regard to your flamer to Rod, stop this right now before it goes any further.

That kind of remark never leads to anything good and you're experienced enough to know that.



 
Title: Re: Just curious........................
Post by: Elizabeth on March 03, 2007, 01:02:16 pm
That kind of remark never leads to anything good and you're experienced enough to know that.


Sorry Andy.  Of course you are absolutely correct.  I do have more experience.  More than most know.
Title: Re: Just curious........................
Post by: Boo Radley on March 03, 2007, 01:06:25 pm
..................I'm not part of the clique............................the elite or established forumites.

I've seen the clique referred to time and again but I'm still at a loss to know who its members are.  Because some of us have been here a while and have several friends we joke together and make silly comments sometimes but those comments are usually nonsense and not intended to be critical or mocking. 

Quote
I've brought up the topic of hypocrisy and of course it was read but no replies were made, well at least not on the thread but perhaps amongst the clique in private.

I read your post and could not reply because, frankly, most of it was ranting or close to it.  Your post was so long it would have taken me hours to respond point by point, and if I had I doubt your mind would have been changed at all. 

Quote
I consider myself to mostly be a very positive person, but it's easy to get depressed as you often feel like the outsider being new when you go into these forums and that you don't belong.

You know, ISO, I had those feelings too when I was new here.  I think most of us have had them to some extent.  The fact is if you stick around you'll find yourself more comfortable as time passes. 

Quote
Of course, this does not hold true for everyone here obviously.  ...I did state once before that I do attempt to treat people as I'd like to be treated

Right, you've already connected with some members and will undoubtedly connect with more.  Again, as time goes by you'll find yourself a member of your own clique, if you wish to call it that, and AM will not seem so alien or depressing.  It's just a matter of getting used to this place.

Treating others as I wish to be treated is a goal I share and believe many other forum members feel the same way.  We don't always meet this goal but it is still one to aspire to. 

Cheers,

Boo

P.S. Edited to add:  I have no idea who Tyra Banks is nor did I read the thread.  I assumed she is some sort of "celebrity" and I'm uninterested in celebrities.

P.P.S.  Edited again to add:
Quote
Frankly, I find David NC's reply to be given in quite an unfriendly tone

I'm sorry, the tone of David's response is courteous and candid.  As is mine.  I am not responding to goad you, I'm explaining how I see the forums.  That's what David did and he said nothing inimical to or critical of you.  In fact, I believe he was using "you" in general and not referring strictly to you, or that's how I read it.
Title: Re: Just curious........................
Post by: ManISOMan on March 03, 2007, 01:07:17 pm
David NC,
Frankly, I find it hard to believe that you haven't heard of Tyra Banks, but based on what you've told me that you judge people by how they treat your friends.  I'm sure Tyra Banks has friends as well, and would certainly have issue with things that have been said, and that point isn't whether you know her or not.

But, I believe I could probably pick out your friends. 

And if my friends treat people in a way that I find unfriendly, then I'd certaily be able to point that out to my friends, and not join in an attack the stranger.  But, I guess I'm just funny that way.

Andy, thank you for your response, at least you addressed how I feel.  But, in my own life I have experienced a few things.  I've been in a chat room where someone uses the ID of "Aidsisover."
Do, I like this.......................no definitel not.  And I've spoken with him until he had to stop speaking with me.  I simply based how I felt about Norman's posting.....................from Norman's posting.
Again, just the way I like to approach things.

Ann, I don't feel you even come close to addressing my feelings................but you did respond.  I do apologize if indeed you are not selective about how you treat people.

I appreciate that this thread wasn't closed.  Thank you for reading Andy and Ann.  And, Andy thank you for the welcome. 

But, being who I am, I do have to say, I appreciate your reply Elizabeth.........I think it was quite appropriate.  Frankly, I find David NC's reply to be given in quite an unfriendly tone............but that's just me. 

And I received a private PM, someone told me that forums are like life, basically we don't all get along and as in the predatory world...................."the antelope fears the lion."

Sincerely,
Scott
Title: Re: Just curious........................
Post by: HIVworker on March 03, 2007, 02:38:53 pm
Being a moderator is an impossible job.

I've done it on other forums and you are dammed if you do and dammed if you don't. Like a soccer ref, you are going to get one team complaining every time you blow the whistle. Given what I have seen on this forum since 2003 I think people give Ann and Andy less credit than they deserve. I've seen the good work they do in the "AM I INFECTED" forum to keep out denialists (a big problem in 2003) and stopping worry-wells posting personal questions in the "LIVING" forum about how big people's lymph nodes were when seroconverting. A lot of that work is unseen and having posted in the "AM I" forum for a few years I appreciate what they do.

I've been told to quiet my posts by both of them at times, and all times I did. We are all subject to the sometimes flaming of the written word and sometimes it needs someone to calmly tell them to calm down.

R
Title: Re: Just curious........................
Post by: thunter34 on March 03, 2007, 03:01:37 pm
In defense of DavidNC, I think you are probably reading an "unfriendly tone" in it that wasn't intended.  This is one really nice guy we are talking about here.  He has a history of trying to step in diplomatically when some members have gotten their feathers ruffled with one another- he's done it for me personally.  And from what I read in his post, I have to say that I respond similarly:  if someone comes on the scene and starts going after somebody that I consider a buddy, I'll want to step in to rally on my friend's behalf.  That's just me.

PS:  Maybe I'm still cloudy headed from being sick, but the whole Tyra Banks angle of this is confusing.  How did she become so heavily wound up in this discussion?  It must be some thread exchange that I missed.

Title: Re: Just curious........................
Post by: ManISOMan on March 03, 2007, 03:09:42 pm
Well nameless HIVworker,
As David NC has made it clear to me..................When you describe all the 'good' you're doing by being in a study, that's great.  That would be a good subject for a post.  It doesn't have squat to do with how you're judged here, though.

And yet, it's so important to point out the 'good' work of moderators. 

I don't even think I used the word good when I told of my involvement with HIV studies, but they do mean squat to me................and I'm guessing to the people that have asked if I'd be involved with doing addtional studies or to agree to a Thymic scan or anything else.  And, I did make my reasons clear for mentioning why I am involved in studies..............but then I guess that wouldn't exactly make me a decent guy, perhaps it only proves I have a 'vested interest in the well being of others with HIV."  And, then I guess that's only to say that interest includes the physical part of it, not the emotional part.......................

So, if you just haven't helped to prove my point further about hypocrisy here............then I must me a raving lunatic.

So, thank you for mentioning in any way about anything good or bad I may have contributed to anything at all.

And, I type this as I see a 'global moderator' is on-line.

Sincerely,
Scott
Title: Re: Just curious........................
Post by: ManISOMan on March 03, 2007, 03:15:08 pm
Well, thunter34,
I'm not sure why it's so confusing.................as you yourself has posted on that thread.............perhaps one of Tyra's friends should explain...............................perhaps then you'd understand................you know how friends rally behind their friends.

Somehow, I think I'm wasting my time.........................and the fact of the matter is that you may feel DavidNC is nice as you've stated he's intervened on your behalf.....................well, a few here have done the same for me....................for which I'm thankful.

Scott
Title: Re: Just curious........................
Post by: ManISOMan on March 03, 2007, 03:30:22 pm
And , let me state this clearly.........................as it is important to appreciate and note the positive as well as the negative.........

................while a few here  feel the need to intervene or explain on behalf of their friends, or explain to me what their friends intent is or isn't..............

...............at least Andy's last words to me were that he was glad I found my way to this site and that he hopes I find support................................................that I greatly appreciate!!!

Thank you for that Andy..................once again!!!!!!!!
Title: Re: Just curious........................
Post by: thunter34 on March 03, 2007, 03:40:39 pm
It's no wonder you aren't making many friends on here!  Talk about an "unfriendly tone"- yeesh!  


No, David didn't intervene "on my behalf".  He stepped in to try to smooth things out when there was a miscommunication between myself and another member.  He wasn't positioned on my side or the other person's.

Somehow, I think I am the one who is wasting my time.  I was only making a statement about the very real quality of character that David has.

Title: Re: Just curious........................
Post by: ManISOMan on March 03, 2007, 03:43:43 pm
And in response to people we think are nice or aren't nice.............

................I believe it was a good majority of the people in Christ's time, or at least the majority that mattered.................that helped to condemn him and put him on the cross................perhaps many were afraid to let their voice be heard.........

.............are you thinking now...............how is this any more relevant than the reference to Tyra.................and if you are thinking it......................well..................I guess just think on it a bit longer.

..................and some of you might possibly be thinking, "oh this guy thinks he's like Jesus Christ."
Well, as I've just recently read somewhere, probably on the lengthy debate about the bones of the Holy family...................if we do believe in God, and we are made in his image................isn't some part of God in all of us.
Title: Re: Just curious........................
Post by: ManISOMan on March 03, 2007, 03:46:04 pm
thunter34,
I'm not saying that David intervened on your behalf......................but that that is what you were doing.

And, I have made friends..................they may not be the same ones you have...........but then I guess there is a reason for that as well.....................and just because you don't see my pm box doesn't mean that I haven't made friends.......................but thank you for that!

Sincerely,
Scott
Title: Re: Just curious........................
Post by: thunter34 on March 03, 2007, 03:48:47 pm
"Jesus Christ"  is exactly what I was thinking just now.
Title: Re: Just curious........................
Post by: ManISOMan on March 03, 2007, 03:51:04 pm
Why doesn't that surprise me.........................so you don't like me or Tyra......................that's okay.
Title: Re: Just curious........................
Post by: Ihavehope on March 03, 2007, 03:51:58 pm
Ladies play nice. Especially you!
Title: Re: Just curious........................
Post by: David_CA on March 03, 2007, 04:05:15 pm
David NC,
Frankly, I find it hard to believe that you haven't heard of Tyra Banks...

But, I believe I could probably pick out your friends. 

 Frankly, I find David NC's reply to be given in quite an unfriendly tone............but that's just me. 


I hadn't heard of her 'til I read the name on the forums... believe it

I doubt you could pick out my friends, but if you could, it'd be because you were one of them.

An unfriendly tone?  Yep, it's just you.

David
Title: Re: Just curious........................
Post by: thunter34 on March 03, 2007, 04:07:25 pm
Why doesn't that surprise me.........................so you don't like me or Tyra......................that's okay.


I don't have any feeling about Tyra Banks one way or the other, really.  I do not know the woman.  That's what was ''confusing'' to me about this whole Tyra Banks angle to this discussion.  I do not equate dishing on celebrities with how forums members choose to address one another here on AM.  

Title: Re: Just curious........................
Post by: David_CA on March 03, 2007, 04:10:00 pm
You know what's really cool?  I've been mentioned in this post more than in almost any other!  Most of the mentionings were positive, too.  And Tim is correct; I've tried to settle things down between member I don't even know, as well as those that I do personally know without siding with either.

David
Title: Re: Just curious........................
Post by: thunter34 on March 03, 2007, 05:35:22 pm
And also for the record:  HA!  I checked out the threads you are referring to in the original post of this thread.  Both deserved warnings from the Moderators and neither is an example of any real hypocrisy.  The first one walks the line of espousing denialist theory.  This is something that is CLEARLY declared as a violation of the Terms of Use for this forum.  The second one has a guy basically telling other members to stop being a bunch of cry babies feeling sorry for themselves about their HIV...on an HIV support forum.

And also to note:  Andy called the guy "sun", not "son"...because the guy's handle on here is sunzidog.  Addressing people by the first few letters of their online handle is a common practice and not indicative of any disrespect.  I'm sure Andy is aware he is not the guy's father (as you say).  Got it, Man?
Title: Re: Just curious........................
Post by: ManISOMan on March 03, 2007, 06:07:15 pm
Thank you thunter34 and David NC.................you only continue to support just how "cliquey" you and some people in this forum are........................please continue.
Title: Re: Just curious........................
Post by: thunter34 on March 03, 2007, 06:10:53 pm
I'm "cliquey"?  Please elaborate.
Title: Re: Just curious........................
Post by: ManISOMan on March 03, 2007, 06:11:43 pm
And let me say loudly...............

.............Andy, I apologize, as thunter34 has pointed out, I didn't think that that is how you were addressing the new guy.   I am sorry for the comment I made about that regarding that you are not his father.

..............I am capapble of admitting I'm wrong

Andy, please accept my apology!

But, as far as the warnings go, I still feel the same way.  And get over yourselves, you act like someone is going to come and steal HIV/AIDS away.  So, ha to you thunter34.
Title: Re: Just curious........................
Post by: thunter34 on March 03, 2007, 06:15:51 pm
Ha to me?? 

If someone wants to come in and steal HIV/AIDS away, my doors unlocked.  Have at it.
Title: Re: Just curious........................
Post by: Matty the Damned on March 03, 2007, 06:20:21 pm
Of course this place is "cliquey" Scott. Just like with any other group of people there were relationships established here long before you buzzed into the hive, doll.

So let me see, you've been here for nine or ten days, you've not posted anything in Living With (where most of the positive members hang out) preferring as you do to haunt Orf Torpic and the treatments specific forums and you're suprised that nobody really cares what you think?

Dear me and you seemed like such an intelligent chappie.

It might surprise you to learn that, again as with any other group of people, there are some accepted cultural norms that prevail here in the Forums. Before you go twink slaying or even hunting more serious game, such as Moderators, you might want to learn about those norms.

You know, find out how things are done around here.

So forgive us if we're cliquey. It's just that we've grown used to one and other. We're yet to see any reason why we should take you into our confidence.

MtD
Title: Re: Just curious........................
Post by: Boo Radley on March 03, 2007, 06:21:38 pm
Scott,

Out of simple curiousity I ask what's the deal with .............................................................?

Can't you settle for 3 or so... ?

Boo 
Title: Re: Just curious........................
Post by: dtwpuck on March 03, 2007, 06:28:04 pm
Scott,

Out of simple curiousity I ask what's the deal with .............................................................?

Can't you settle for 3 or so... ?

Boo 


You beat me to it...........................................................oh well
Title: Re: Just curious........................
Post by: ManISOMan on March 03, 2007, 06:30:23 pm
You'd like me to elaborate.................................the way you've pointed out that I was wrong to say something to Andy about how he addressed the new guy is absolutely correct..............and certainly the way you should stand behind a friend.  Something positive said from me about you.

Now...........what have you had positive to say about me................meanwhile you rag on Tyra Banks and you don't get this......................she's not in this room to speak up or have her friends come to her defense.  But, that's okay because you and David NC and others should have the right to free speech, but just don't let someone else dare say something to someone that is a friend of yours.   

And, this all started because I pointed how aupointillimite had written something which I thought was the exact opposite of how he actually felt.  So, that just makes me the biggest asshole in the world...................since I think it's unkind to simply ignore an unexpected visitor...................and so many have made it clear that they feel the same way................................so, you can feel ettiquette is much more important than being honest and telling an unexpected visitor that you really aren't up to company at the moment and I guess that it's okay to ignore them.   Well, I think that's a horrible way to treat someone..............whether they are unexpected or not.  But, that just makes me a real fucking, horrible person.  Well, if that's what it makes me.......................I'd rather be that than like you any day of the week.

And, check out the stopmeds thread now, someone else isn't afraid of what Norman has said and applauds them.......................but then I'm sure they're not on your list of friend either...........I mean how could they be....................they might think differently than you.
 
Title: Re: Just curious........................
Post by: ManISOMan on March 03, 2007, 06:34:09 pm
...Sorry...I wouldn't want to take up to much precious space here...afterall...the topic of porn does seem to be one of the more popular items in the AIDSmeds/POZ Community Forums...and I don't have a problem with porn...just saying...I'll try to control myself with the dots...
Title: Re: Just curious........................
Post by: Matty the Damned on March 03, 2007, 06:34:46 pm
And, this all started because I pointed how aupointillimite had written something which I thought was the exact opposite of how he actually felt.  So, that just makes me the biggest asshole in the world...................since I think it's unkind to simply ignore an unexpected visitor...................and so many have made it clear that they feel the same way................................so, you can feel ettiquette is much more important than being honest and telling an unexpected visitor that you really aren't up to company at the moment and I guess that it's okay to ignore them.   Well, I think that's a horrible way to treat someone..............whether they are unexpected or not.  But, that just makes me a real fucking, horrible person.  Well, if that's what it makes me.......................I'd rather be that than like you any day of the week.


Things slow at the RamRod tonight petal?

Benj's treatment of his unwanted guest may run contrary to the received ettiquette amongst the PnP crowd of SoFla but what makes you think we care?

And if we're so vile that you'd rather not be like any of us, why do you stay?

MtD
Title: Re: Just curious........................
Post by: ManISOMan on March 03, 2007, 06:38:59 pm
Keep up precious,

I no longer live in SoFla...and haven't been to the Ramrod in years...but I see you're not unfamiliar...and if I want to leave...I'll leave...not because you think I should...there are nice people here...but thanks for letting me know how you feel...you're too kind!
Title: Re: Just curious........................
Post by: dtwpuck on March 03, 2007, 06:42:42 pm
I was wondering, ManISOMan, if there is anything anyone can do for you to make you realize that someone else's thread isn't all about you.    This thread, however, is, and I'm afraid it reveals someone who is desparately trying to fit in, but angry about not being able to do so.  Your anger isn't going to help you.

Tell you a secret:  every group of people forms cliques.  Everywhere.  All the time.  Period.  You will fit in some and not in others. 

On the Internet, people feel perfectly comfortable telling you off where they wouldn't directly to your face.  Growing a thick skin really helps.

I personally find it a bit off putting when someone creates a thread which is a commentary about everyone else's threads, sort of like a personal bitch session.  It's not very becoming.  You can disagree with anyone you want to here, but remember, they can disagree with you too.   If you feel personally attacked, then say so, but get over it quick, because it's just not that interesting to read someones personal gripes about everyone else.

There are some really popular people on this forum who don't like me.  Guess what.  I don't really actually care that much.  Because when it really comes down to it, I have the friends I need.  And, even the people I don't get along with rally to help those in need on this board.  So, ultimately, they get my respect. 

I suppose you will find a lot to take offense here.  I suggest you take a deep breath.   If you want to make friends, you might consider being friendly.
Title: Re: Just curious........................
Post by: ManISOMan on March 03, 2007, 06:44:50 pm
And precious,

Not that I need to prove anything to you...but I'm not part of the PNP, crowd...but yet again...not a term you're unfamiliar with...

In fact, I don't drink alcohol at home... the last time I put my lips to a joint was when someone asked me to see the movie, "Kong" and it gave me such a terrible headache that it last until the next day...I don't like the way it made me feel...but wasn't such a prude that I couldn't give it puff before the movie...the other person did enjoy how it made him feel...and I've not been to the movies with that person since. 

The last date I hade, the guy smoked, and I didn't even go back in his house...because I didn't want to be around the cigarette smoke...

..so make all the assumptions you like...
Title: Re: Just curious........................
Post by: Matty the Damned on March 03, 2007, 06:52:31 pm
...Sorry...I wouldn't want to take up to much precious space here...afterall...the topic of porn does seem to be one of the more popular items in the AIDSmeds/POZ Community Forums...and I don't have a problem with porn...just saying...I'll try to control myself with the dots...

I'm glad to hear you're not against porn. It would be a bit rich for any queer sporting a handle bar moustache like yours to take such a position.

I no longer live in SoFla...and haven't been to the Ramrod in years...but I see you're not unfamiliar...and if I want to leave...I'll leave...not because you think I should...there are nice people here...but thanks for letting me know how you feel...you're too kind!


I'm glad to hear you've moved. It's a shame your posts still reek of sun-tan lotion, poppers and regret though. Must take a while to work the pan-handle out of your system. Matty the Damned cares not a whit whether you stay or leave, heartface. Just so long as you have a good time.

Now you don't seem to be the kind who can take advice (given that you know everything already), but still I feel compelled to tell you that posting a small introduction in Living With might help your cause. Maybe someone other than LongIslander will want to play with you. ;)

Fondles,

MtD
Title: Re: Just curious........................
Post by: ManISOMan on March 03, 2007, 07:01:13 pm
Oh, and in case you're wondering...

...I have a dentist's appt. on the 13th of this month...I go every six months...you see the meth that I'm not doing hasn't given me a reason not to go to the dentist and take care of my teeth..I do have nice teeth..and apparently  all the cocaine that I'm not doing hasn't made me grind them down to stubs.  And, yes I have done cocaine in my past...and I didn't pay for it..you see there was always someone that was happy to have you share in the experience...and I have tried special K..one night when I was out in SoFla with another bartender...and that was the only night I tried special K...

...and there was the one evening when I lived in SoBe that I went out with friends(can you believe it) and we had dinner and then went bar hoping..I had to go to work at 4am and was exrtemely tired and had too much to drink...and when I got there I knew the only way I would make it through would be to ask the other bartender if he could get me a bump, as I had learned the first time I tried it when another bartender friend had given it to me at the Copa and it sobered me up.  Well, I felt terribly guilty for having asked for the cocaine, and did not like myself for it. 

...so if there's anything more you'd like to know...but then you don't care to know me and that's clear...I don't have anything to hide.
Title: Re: Just curious........................
Post by: Matty the Damned on March 03, 2007, 07:04:31 pm
Oh, and in case you're wondering...

No dear not really. It's been a while since I subscribed to Aging Muscle-Mary Monthly.

...I have a dentist's appt. on the 13th of this month...I go every six months...you see the meth that I'm not doing hasn't given me a reason not to go to the dentist and take care of my teeth..I do have nice teeth..and apparently  all the cocaine that I'm not doing hasn't made me grind them down to stubs.  And, yes I have done cocaine in my past...and I didn't pay for it..you see there was always someone that was happy to have you share in the experience...and I have tried special K..one night when I was out in SoFla with another bartender...and that was the only night I tried special K...

...and there was the one evening when I lived in SoBe that I went out with friends(can you believe it) and we had dinner and then went bar hoping..I had to go to work at 4am and was exrtemely tired and had too much to drink...and when I got there I knew the only way I would make it through would be to ask the other bartender if he could get me a bump, as I had learned the first time I tried it when another bartender friend had given it to me at the Copa and it sobered me up.  Well, I felt terribly guilty for having asked for the cocaine, and did not like myself for it.

...so if there's anything more you'd like to know...but then you don't care to know me and that's clear...I don't have anything to hide.


It's not really that you "don't have anything to hide", now is it Scotty? It's more that there's nothing about you worth knowing.

:-*

MtD

/edited for a teensy typo/
Title: Re: Just curious........................
Post by: ManISOMan on March 03, 2007, 07:10:30 pm
Matty the damned,

You think you're so clever and witty...gee..once you've thought me intelligent and now you don't...well that must make it so...

...and as far as poppers and suntan lotion...I hate poppers and anyone that really knows me...knows that... and it's been over a year since I've had suntan lotion on when went with friend down a cold spring river in North Florida..

Actually, you remind me so much of queens in SoFla..I mean you are familiar with the territory.

And...I don't need your embrace...you can keep it...and the cliqueyness doesn't surprise me...but thanks for letting me know how it is...really.

It's cute...how well you think you know me...precious even.

Title: Re: Just curious........................
Post by: ManISOMan on March 03, 2007, 07:18:25 pm
Matty the damned,

You made it a point to say I've posted nothing in the "Living with..which I'm guessing you meant living with HIV, well no not under that specific topic...but I have posted under the topics, "Treatment Questions" and "Side Effects."

I've mentioned that I've had gyncecomastia(oh yeah, from all the pot), and ringing in my ears, a bit of swollen parotid glands, and perhaps a few other things...but you don't really care about that..

...and so anyone knows that might be interested...a person without HIV can get gynecomastia...but then I'm sure that you'd be sure that must be part of the PNP crowd. 

I didn't know that I am supposed to post under all the topics..I'll work on that. 

Just trying to keep you apprised of my situation...
Title: Re: Just curious........................
Post by: ManISOMan on March 03, 2007, 07:23:44 pm
Matty the damned,

...and while you're revelling in putting me down...what I spend too much money on is beads.

...and I occasionally do go to the bathhouse...and I don't care what anyone has to say about that...and I go on a Tuesday so I can get a free pass to go another day as I'm on a limited income..I do get lonely...and do want to be touched by another person.

...and I don't buy alcohol for home...unless I am making a nice dinner and having guest over...then I may purchase a bottle of wine... and I'll spend about 70% of my weekly allowance so I can do this...but I haven't had a dinner party in some time.  I do sometimes cood dinner for myself and my roommate... I in fact... cooked the soup that I gave the recipe for under some thread here...but I don't contribute...what do you read about here...
Title: Re: Just curious........................
Post by: Lisa on March 03, 2007, 07:24:25 pm
I will accept you as you are, if you will me.

Could you dial back the rhetoric a smidgen please?

I think you are a regular guy who believes his back is against the wall. If you will stop defending yourself long enough, you will find that there is a plethora of caring people here.

Nobody wants to hug the porcupine.
Title: Re: Just curious........................
Post by: ManISOMan on March 03, 2007, 07:31:45 pm
Well Lisa,
I have been attacked by some here, but that's okay...I'm not a weak person...and I won't lay down and just take it...and I don't really like when people just say, "oh, you're being defensive." 

So, if you accept me for who I am...well...this is who I am...and I am just a regular guy...and I don't try to just put people down.  And I'm not afraid to be a bit self-depricating, or to admit when I am wrong.

And, I do appreciate that you were one of the first people to greet me and respond to a posting, thank you for that.

I have a loud bird, a Patagonian Conure...and many people can't stand loud screaming...it doesn't bother me...he really isn't that bad...and it is the voice he's been given, by God nature or whatever it is the reader believes in.  Sometimes, I just scream back with him, knowing he has no intention of stopping.

So, I accept you...but this is me...so I'm not sure if you accept me or not...since you view me as the porcupine...I mean hasn't Matty the damned been putting me down...it sure seems like it.
If you only really knew me...you knew how ridiculous her view of me actually is..

Scott
Title: Re: Just curious........................
Post by: ManISOMan on March 03, 2007, 07:34:44 pm
I mean call me a pig...sexually speaking... or a whore, slut...anything else you can come up with...that's fine...I accept...but to say that I'm about PNP...you just don't know.

And, having said that, I'd love nothing more than to go to a nice dinner, see a movie, and spend the night with someone and hopefully...have that turn into something more meaningful. 
Title: Re: Just curious........................
Post by: Andy Velez on March 03, 2007, 07:35:46 pm
Scott, whoooaaaaaaaa!

Please! I hope this doesn't incite you wanting to throw something at my head, but please take a good deep and slow breath and listen if you will.

First of all, your apology accepted. No problem. That's done.

Now, here's the listening part I'd like you to lend an ear on.

In a very short time you've managed to engage with varying degrees of hostility several different people here. Since I have some familiarity with all of them and in some cases for several years, I can tell you there's definitely a communication gap happening here. These aren't people who are out to "get you," Scott.

Yet somehow the interactions seem to be heating up and heading to what I sometimes say is "nowhere good."

So I am asking you for what is called in theatre "a willing suspension of disbelief" on your part. Assume if you will indulge me, that no one is out to get you. Take some breaths and chill a bit.

You don't have to reply to every single comment. Consider first if it's really going to advance communication or if it's just going to further stir the pot. Talking here is not about winning or losing. If you feel someone is being abusive to you please report it to the moderators. And no, that's not being a crybaby. It's avoiding having a firefight which is something totally toxic in the Forum for everyone.

There's more to you as a person than this kind of crusty stuff. Right now you're coming across as a guy with a very short fuse. It does not serve you well.
 
If you will let your guard down a bit and allow other stuff to show I know you will find responsive people here. I already read some of that in your most current comments. But whether you choose to do that or not, the crusty stuff needs to stop.

Sincerely,

Andy
Title: Re: Just curious........................
Post by: Boo Radley on March 03, 2007, 07:38:38 pm
And, this all started because I pointed how aupointillimite had written something which I thought was the exact opposite of how he actually felt.  ................since I think it's unkind to simply ignore an unexpected visitor...................and so many have made it clear that they feel the same way................................

OK, now we're getting somewhere.  You have remained angry at aupointillimite and others who agree they don't like uninvited guests as a general rule.  Aupo was not talking about a friend who seemed suicidally depressed or someone who needed to talk or be with close friends.  Will, the uninvited guest, had nothing better to do.   If a friend came to my door unexpectedly and seemed upset of course I'd try to help -- most of us here would. 

Maybe you don't understand the need to relax and spend time with a close friend (in this case Liz, aupo's roommate) or just time to be alone without interruption, but plenty of other people do.  Are we evil because we want our down time? 

You've taken this incident and made several false conclusions about people here and you need to let it go and get over the anger you obviously feel.  Once your anger diminishes I believe you will see we are as human as you.  No better and no worse. 

Boo 
Title: Re: Just curious........................
Post by: HIVworker on March 03, 2007, 07:41:38 pm
I'm sticking this guy on ignore.

Sincerely

Namless HIVworker (who has called himself Rich about 100 times on the forum)....rolls his eyes
Title: Re: Just curious........................
Post by: ManISOMan on March 03, 2007, 07:45:48 pm
Well,

Sorry, Andy, but I'm not a man with a short fuse.  And, I do find it hypocritical when everyone else is allowed to say what they have to say, well except for a few, and you don't feel the need to say anything.

I have been attacked in an unfriendly manner, plain and simple.  And if you're not part of the group well, then you obviously aren't part of the group. 

Just to let you know, not everyone thinks I'm the one with the problem.  If only I could bring myself to be a real dick... and print what they told me in their PM's...who they like and who they don't like.

But, thanks for letting me know how you feel Andy.

I think you're unfair...and those are my valid feelings.  And, i'm thankful for the few people on this site that aren't part of the pack and are able to be objective.

Scott
Title: Re: Just curious........................
Post by: Lisa on March 03, 2007, 07:51:21 pm
I accept you for who you are. No limitations, because that is how I was accepted here.



What does pnp stand for?
Title: Re: Just curious........................
Post by: Alain on March 03, 2007, 07:53:35 pm
Plug and Play  ;D

..as in computer easy to install.. :-*
Title: Re: Just curious........................
Post by: tigger2376 on March 03, 2007, 07:54:56 pm
I'm sorry for sticking my oar in but just can't keep it shut ANY more.
I have been treated with respect and utter lack of villification by the people on this site.
They do not judge me
I respect their advice
If there has ever been a breakdown in communications or a misunderstanding, it has been solved, often with great humour.it is only natural that certain people gravitate to each other, its normal social interaction
NO ONE is any different/better/worse than anyone else. We are all here for the same reason in the end
Title: Re: Just curious........................
Post by: Matty the Damned on March 03, 2007, 07:56:15 pm
Sweetest Keeper of Weasels,

"PnP" means "Party and Play". It's a reference to the meth and sex crowd.

MtD
(Who is learned in all the dark arts)
Title: Re: Just curious........................
Post by: ManISOMan on March 03, 2007, 07:56:46 pm
Thank you, Lisa.

PNP, is an aconym for party and play....meaning that generally gay guys do drugs and have sex...and it's not something specific to South Florida.
Title: Re: Just curious........................
Post by: ManISOMan on March 03, 2007, 07:57:38 pm
sorry, acronym...
Title: Re: Just curious........................
Post by: ManISOMan on March 03, 2007, 07:59:47 pm
Thank you Tigger2376 for putting your oars in...
Title: Re: Just curious........................
Post by: tigger2376 on March 03, 2007, 08:06:32 pm
Was just trying to say, lifes too short already.
if you met someone in a bar and didn't like them, you wouldn't talk to them. why should it be different anywhere else?
There have been plenty of chances to leave this alone, and walk away gracefully. please, just leave it be
Title: Re: Just curious........................
Post by: Moffie65 on March 03, 2007, 08:09:29 pm
This is just like someone coming into a room full of people that know each other and demanding that everyone stop and pay attention to them and do it their way.  It is a mental disability that I don't have to accept or agree with, I've seen it for years and it is just painful.

Scott,............  If you don't stop your shitty attitude, I will reach up your ass and pull your tounge out the bottom so that you can actually get a taste of your shitty attitude!

Andy, and Ann, we may have lost a really good and long termer on this thread, at least the PM I got confirmed it.  I will politely put myself on ban for this post.  And ignore myself,  I am needed in other forums now.

Love,
Title: Re: Just curious........................
Post by: ManISOMan on March 03, 2007, 08:14:13 pm
Oh great, I thank you, Tigger, thinking at least you acknowledge there is villification here on the forum, and then you tell me walk away leave it be........

When did you become my mother, father, or anyone to tell me to leave it be..........

I'm sick of being told to leave it be, or that I'm the one with the problem.......

I can do this all night, being the drug induced nut that I am...I mean that's what some feel the need to tell me....why don't you just not visit this thread if it bothers you tigger and go visit the porn thread where so much interest lies here on the HIV/Aids site that is actually no more than a get together for an elite group of people with HIV that are friends, and are not welcoming to new people........and thankfully there are exceptions. 

You walk away, go to another thread, let it be.... drop it.........
Title: Re: Just curious........................
Post by: Andy Velez on March 03, 2007, 08:18:24 pm
OK, Scott.

I can see you just don't have any perspective or the willingness to stop before this firefight goes any further. I know you are not going to understand it but I am giving you a one week time out starting right now.

Moffie, we definitely didn't need that fuel added to the fire. 

And I am locking this thread.