--- Quote from: beautyface on February 22, 2013, 04:32:29 am ---Response to jkinatl2:
First, you do not know me, you think you know me. Second, your posts are riddled with assumptions you have amalgamated from years of observations, some valid, about users of these forms, and in a truly epic fail attempted to apply them to yours truly. You are correct when you say that I seem to read a lot here; I have, in particular your vitriol.
I will not quarrel with you, it is superfluous and serves no logical purpose. I feel sorry for you, you see everything from your positive vantage point. You lack a frame of negative reference. I do not care that you think I am a bad person, I think you are a nasty judgmental one. You know nothing about me. Period.
You were not there, you do not know how I consoled my friend. It is more complicated than it appears, my manfriend is "terrified" of infecting me, and I have done nothing to make him feel that way. I have kept my fears to myself and supported him as he tries to process this. Am I concerned about protecting my negative status? Absolutely I am. Should I feel ashamed or the need to defend that? Absolutely not. There you brought it and bring it. There's a difference. I wish you the healing you so clearly need.
--- End quote ---
You came here worried, after over a year on these forums, that TEARS could infect you.
I do not think you are a bad person. I think you need to tend to your own wounds however. Your ongoing irrational fear of HIV is the one I posit to be paramount, so far as I can discern.
And the rest of your posts/animosity towards me in particular is telling.
mecch:
--- Quote from: beautyface on February 22, 2013, 02:10:09 am ---One thing I absolutely hate about this forum is how sometimes folks bring up unrelated things you have posted about in the distant past. I truly fail to see how its relevant. I do and have acknowledged that I have an HIV anxiety disorder more than likely. I embarked on this relationship with the best of intentions, hoping I had outgrown or quelled my irrational thoughts. But the bottom line is this: My HIV negative status is mine alone to protect. I am accountable to myself. For this and other unrelated reasons, this relationship is not the right fit for me.
--- End quote ---
My post was to texaninnyc87. Surely his heart is in the right place but his words were not a good rationale for going on HAART. Not the primary reasons people go on HAART, at least....
Plus, he was saying this to you, and you seem to be quite worried and also distracted by HIV.. So again, just seemed like a bad idea..
You're right. Nobody here really knows you. If you can have a complete relationship with an HIV+ person, which included lots of comfort, security, relaxed feeling, etc etc, and put HIV into its proper little box, then congratulations.
If you can't really get over the fear.... That's your problem. It was Texan who made this recommendation - oh, you'll DEFINITELY be low risk if your lover is on HAART.. But actually, just a 5 dollar box of condoms does the same, and no chemistry involved for either person.
A week ago there was a person on this forum, in magnetic relationship, who was wondering if he should go on TRUVADA so he could suck his undetectable boyfriend's dick, and have protected intercourse. WTF?
Its gets my back up if people can't chill and be grounded about their sex lives with HIV+ people. Jumping through hoops, needless overkill on the "protection". Endless anxiety. Misinformation...
Know the facts, decide your practices, and move on to the meat of the relation.
beautyface:
Response to Mecch:
I was replying above only to jkinatl2's comments.
I know it is not fair to stay in this relationship any longer. I do not believe I could bring myself to have sex with this man at this point, and he is very hesitant to do so with me, he is "terrified" of infecting me. So you see, it is more complex than my original post alluded to.
There are other reasons too, not HIV related, that would rule out this relationship. I do want to say I love him very much, and if we could work the other things out I'd be willing to stay. Sadly, just too much going on.
Jeff G:
--- Quote from: beautyface on February 22, 2013, 02:10:09 am ---One thing I absolutely hate about this forum is how sometimes folks bring up unrelated things you have posted about in the distant past. I truly fail to see how its relevant. I do and have acknowledged that I have an HIV anxiety disorder more than likely. I embarked on this relationship with the best of intentions, hoping I had outgrown or quelled my irrational thoughts. But the bottom line is this: My HIV negative status is mine alone to protect. I am accountable to myself. For this and other unrelated reasons, this relationship is not the right fit for me.
--- End quote ---
I wont stop you or suggest you not post in the Someone I care about forum at the moment but your posting history on this forum is relevant to this topic . The fact is , your fear of HIV in the past is still something you are dealing with today .
If you are worried about protecting yourself from HIV then its best dealt with in the AM I Infected forum . Its really too much for you to ask us be supportive if your fears are unwarranted fears of contracting HIV because you were given advice about that in your other thread . If you break up with your man that you claim to love because of your fear of HIV than you need to get counseling or see a therapist , there really isn't more we can do for you other than offer these simple truths .
anniebc:
--- Quote from: Jeff G on February 22, 2013, 02:44:22 pm ---.
If you are worried about protecting yourself from HIV then its best dealt with in the AM I Infected forum .
--- End quote ---
I'm sorry, but from what I have read the only one he seems to care about is himself, and like you suggested he should probably be over in the AM I forum, not here getting free advise because he has a fear of HIV.
I care more about the *boyfriend* than he does, he needs support and is not getting it from this guy called Beautyface, I hope he (the Boyfriend) realises that all the negativity coming from Beautyface is not good for him and he leaves this man, I really hope he moves on and finds the support he needs and deserves