POZ Community Forums
HIV Prevention and Testing => Do I Have HIV? => Topic started by: sweetkicks on September 28, 2007, 10:01:36 am
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Hi everyone, yesterday night I had insertive anal sex with another man. I used a condom, but the condom broke. Before we had anal sex, he used the same condom while going down on me for a few minutes. I then penetrated him. He came very very quickly, like in less than a minute or two. I pulled out still hard (having not cum) and the condom had split. I had fecal matter on my dick, quite a bit actually.
I am wondering, should I see about getting PEP? The duration was short, and afterwards he told me that he was HIV negative. He was also the one that initiated using a condom for oral sex, so I assume that he is concerned about safety. I've fooled around with him before and everytime it has just been mutual masturbation.
Immediately after the incident, I washed my dick and urinated. I am uncircumcised as well, if that makes a difference.
I'm just nervous about getting PEP, because I am a college student and don't have money or insurance that isn't in my parents' name. Am I even someone that should be prescibed PEP or is this incident of minimal risk in the scheme of things? Thanks in advance.
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It's good to know that you're committed to using condoms. Way to go!
As for this specific incident, the condom will have protected you until it broke. Given that it reads as if it was a brief incident that would further have lowered the potential risk. Of course low(er) risk is not the same as no risk but given what you've reported I'd say overall the likelihood is you will test negative. And yes, you should get tested. The CDC recommends 13 weeks as a reliable testing point for a conclusive answer.
PEP is not something to be instituted lightly. It's a 28 day regimen of very potent drugs. And it must be started as soon as possible after a risky incident and not beyond 72 hours after if it's to be effective. Given all you have reported I don't see that it's necessary this time. But I don't live in your shoes so you have to make the ultimate decision. If you're seriously thinking you want to do it, go to a hospital emergency room and tell a doctor there what occured and make an informed decision.
And yes, being uncircumcised is a factor. The skin under the foreskin is a receptive area for transmission and raises the risk level. At the same time, being the insertive partner puts you at lower risk than the receptive partner. Lower risk of course is not the same as no risk but it does mean just that, lower risk.
As far as testing is concerned, while 13 weeks is for a final answer, all but the smallest number of those who are going to seroconvert will do so within 4-6 weeks after an exposure. So a negative result at 6 weeks points to likely continuing to test negative at 13 weeks.
For future reference make sure you are using latex condoms which fit you properly.
Good luck and keep us posted on how it goes.
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Thank you. I'm thinking I probably don't need PEP. I'm just slightly nervous still, but it seems that it would take a confluence of factors to really have it happen. I mean I was thinking about it and he may have cum in as little as 45 seconds. It was SO fast that I was disappointed. So, I would imagine that the 30 seconds or so that it may have been broken is not enough risk to warrant the PEP.
I'm very concerned about safety, but you're right about the condom, we struggled to get it on me for the oral. It actually hurt a little bit getting it on. Ok, I'm going to stop freaking out about this.
Since he said he was negative and was so concerned about safety as well, that says a lot right. If he was positive and that concerned he probably would have disclosed if he was positive? I guess you really can't analyze anyone's individual reasoning.
Thanks, I'll let you know how it goes.
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I pretty much agree with your reasoning. Of course ultimately it's that lovely negative result that will give you the answer you want. I'm betting you're going to test negative.
During the waiting time stay productively busy. It will help you to pass the waiting period more quickly than you may imagine is possible.
Good luck to you and keep us posted.
Cheers,
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Andy,
I'm trying not to feel panicked. I was doing fine, but then today started really stressing about it. I'm just wondering if you'd seen this type of exposure result in a positive result. I really couldn't afford PEP anyway, even if I needed it. Its just that I there was a lot of fecal matter on my dick head and under my foreskin. I promptly washed though.
Anyway, I'm sorry if that was graphic. I just am concerned. Thanks a lot for being patient with my anxiety. I'm just really praying that my partner was honest. We aren't exactly anything more than casual partners.
It just seems like if you look elsewhere for information, there are people that were put on PEP for insertive vaginal sex.
Please forgive me for needing reassurance. Thanks again.
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sk,
Fecal matter is not infectious. Given how brief this encounter was, it is highly unlikely you would have become infected as a result.
As for PEP being given for insertive vaginal, there are doctors out there who would give PEP for this. Doesn't necessarily mean it was needed. I certainly wouldn't advise it for a one-time, brief incident.
Ann
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Thank you Ann,
I feel better with you saying that, just because there was a lot. I'm sorry if I seem excessively anxious. I just read the condom advice from your signature. I think the condom was too tight. When I learned about safe sex they always said that no penis is too big for a condom. That was a woman from Planned Parenthood. So, I was always under the impression that X-Large condoms are just to stroke egos.
I have hope that it will be negative. I guess my anxiety is increased because I have known a couple people who were diagnosed in the past year or two.
I look forward to being able to let you know that things turned out well.
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I have a quick question. Is it blood or rectal secretions that are infectious or both? Is the urethra a more likely route of transmission then foreskin?
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sk,
You need to stop splitting hairs here. The details of your incident that matter are one, that you didn't have a condom on and two, that the incident was very brief. All this hair-splitting will not help you one way or another.
I'm still fully expecting a negative result. Now go get productively busy - which means doing something AWAY from your comptuer and the internet.
Ann
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I'm pretty pleased right now. I got my six week negative. I also was tested for all STDs and am fine, though I am waiting for my syphillis test. The doctor said that the health department here came into some money so they are NAT testing all the samples. He said that if it was positive it would pick it up within a week or so, maybe less.
He also said that they'd call me if the blood draw that they took was postive, but that more than likely I'm A-okay. Thank you guys for helping me out. I've decided to modify my sexual behavior and not have anal intercourse with anyone that I'm not dating even though I use condoms. I just feel like risking a condom break might be something that I'm willing to deal with when it comes to casual partners.
Let me know what you guys think about the NAT test...I'm intrigued.
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Hi, it's been a long time since I was here and I've been committed to safe sex and testing in that time span, but I'm worried about a possible risk I had.
Recently, I met an anonymous partner. Things escalated quickly and we were fooling around, him eating my ass wildly with my legs in the air, which had me very relaxed.
He had lubed his dick for stroking and he stood up and pressed it hard against my hole.
I was very relaxed from the rimming, so it might have slid slightly into the pinkish edge of my anus because of me being relaxed and all the lube and spit?
There was no pain or popping feeling, just pressure like being rimmed, and within a couple of seconds I pulled away and replaced his dick with his hand to indicate that I just wanted to be fingered.
He was very hung though the dick head was smaller than the shaft so I was worried that maybe it was slightly in me...
Specifically, I'm not sure if his dick's urethra was in my anus edge like a millimeter or two and his precum could have transmitted HIV to me.
I assume all partners are positive and his behavior overall suggested he wanted to fuck bareback.
Also, if the precum was at the edge of my hole and then he roughly fingered me, could that be a problem?
I usually top so these questions don't come up often and I'm usually really careful about this type of thing.
Is it safe to have sex with my partner?
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Welcome back . Your previous post and the answers it generated has some good information in it that pertains to this case so it may help to read over this thread again .
As you have been advised before if you were penetrated without a condom or penetrate someone else then you had a risk . Since we were not there and you are not sure if you were penetrated then how can we be . If your not sure then go test . I don't think getting into how many millimeters of penetration constitutes a risk is productive . If you were penetrated it was a risk and if not then it was not .
You can test at 6 weeks past any possible exposure and again at 3 months to confirm the results .
Here's what you need to know in order to avoid hiv infection:
You need to be using condoms for anal or vaginal intercourse, every time, no exceptions until such time as you are in a securely monogamous relationship where you have both tested for ALL sexually transmitted infections together.
To agree to have unprotected intercourse is to consent to the possibility of being infected with an STI. Sex without a condom lasts only a matter of minutes, but hiv is forever.
Have a look through the condom and lube links in my signature line so you can use condoms with confidence.
Anyone who is sexually active should be having a full sexual health care check-up, including but not limited to hiv testing, at least once a year and more often if unprotected intercourse occurs.
If you aren't already having regular, routine check-ups, now is the time to start. As long as you make sure condoms are being used for intercourse, you can fully expect your routine hiv tests to return with negative results.
Don't forget to always get checked for all the other sexually transmitted infections as well, because they are MUCH easier to transmit than hiv. Some of the other STIs can be present with no obvious symptoms, so the only way to know for sure is to test.
Use condoms for anal or vaginal intercourse, correctly and consistently, and you will avoid hiv infection. It really is that simple!
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Hi Jeff,
Thank you for your fast response.
It seemed like "knocking at the back door". Like I don't think his dickhead was IN me, just pressing on my pinkish and relaxed anus--like I wasn't clenched and I was really relaxed from the rimming and he wanted me to let him in.
But instead, I pulled away really quickly--does that make sense?
Is the knocking/pressure on my relaxed hole the same as penetration?
Sorry if my initial email was unclear. I'm feeling a lot of guilt about this experience.
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Hi Jeff,
Thank you for your fast response.
It seemed like "knocking at the back door". Like I don't think his dickhead was IN me, just pressing on my pinkish and relaxed anus--like I wasn't clenched and I was really relaxed from the rimming and he wanted me to let him in.
But instead, I pulled away really quickly--does that make sense?
Is the knocking/pressure on my relaxed hole the same as penetration?
Sorry if my initial email was unclear. I'm feeling a lot of guilt about this experience.
Its only a risk if you were penetrated . I have to be honest and say I wont play a guessing game with your health . Worst case scenario the episode was brief dipping and as Andy has already addressed that I will just echo what he told you already and say if brief dipping was your risk then it was a small one but a risk all the same .
There is really not much to add to this as you already know what is and is not a risk for HIV and the whole episode seems based on anxiety and we cant help you with that .
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At the time, I didn't think "whoa that dick is in me". I thought "oh he wants to fuck me raw" and then I tensed up and pulled away.
I feel like I'm being slightly unclear because I'm worried about the pushing. I'm just trying to get a clear sense if this teasing or pushing is the same as penetration.
I understand that you don't want to play a guessing game.
Is the rubbing on and pushing is the same as being penetrated because of my pinkish part being slightly exposed?
Thank you for your help.
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Frottage and rubbing is not a risk and you are not being unclear ... but you are over thinking it . If you are not sure if you were penetrated then go test ... if it was frottage forget about it . Its really that simple .
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I guess I'm trying to understand when frottage is penetration.
Is knocking at the back door of someone's wet hole the same as having a dickhead enter you if the pinkish part is exposed/spread?
At the time, I really wasn't panicked. It was as my guilt set in after I came and headed home that I started getting more and more worried with "what ifs" about precum and the pinkish part. I know that I wasn't penetrated to where it hurt or the dickhead was IN me as I seriously would have flipped out in the moment if I felt like he stuck it in me…
It just seems like the line is unclear--I guess I'm trying to say that, if I have to overthink it, than it likely wasn't real penetration, right?
My hole has been a bit itchy, but I've been touching it a lot over and over trying to recreate the sensation…
I'm sorry to be a bother.
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Sweet, in re-reading the exchanges I don't think you were actually penetrated by the guy's cock. But you do have a tendency to overthink these issues so I would suggest just for your peace of mind, get tested. Do it at 6 weeks. I certainly expect you will test negative. And re-test at 3 months for a conclusive negative result. But remember, I am suggesting this only so you don't have live with any doubts.
I don't think you had a for real risk.
Your decision to make...
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Thank you, Andy.
I really appreciate it.
It seems to me that you're likely right and that I'm just punishing myself/worrying excessively. It's hard to undo a deep emotional belief that I'm going to be punished somehow with HIV regardless of the fact that intellectually I know that's not the way it works.
The line between frottage and penetration seems really blurry somehow and it's easy to obsess about it, but I have to imagine that a lot of dicks get rubbed on a lot of holes as a prelude to safe sex and if that's what it took, a rub and a press on a lube-y asshole, there would be a more transmission, right?
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Is it possible that I could have some other STD from this rubbing/pressing?
The dickhead definitely didn't inside me--just rubbed the relaxed pinkish part.
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You are so over-thinking this thing at this point. I don't have anything to add.
As far as other STDs are concerned, they are much easier to acquire than HIV. Because of that we recommend that anyone who is sexually active ought to at least annually have a full STD panel done. Some STDs don't show symptoms so testing is a good precaution to take. And if very active, then test every 6 months.
This is all said to inform you and not to give you more to fret about. Take it in that context.
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I've been having consistent pains in my head, neck and eyes since Monday. I generally feel fatigued. The headache is at times excruciating and I'm having light sensitivity.
Could these be ARS symptoms?
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We do not discuss symptoms so if you are sick go see your doctor . We cant diagnose you over the internet .