Despicable me

[Jeff G]

It will be four years this April since I moved in to the house I live in . I'm kind of a loner st times so I really on talk to my neighbors in passing .

I have one neighbor across the street that has been after me to attend her church , she has asked a dozen times now and my polite response has been to say a non commital maybe sometime or we will see .

A few weeks ago she came over for a visit and pressed the issue so I told her the truth . I told her I didn't think her church would be gay friendly and the conversation went down hill from there . She told me I could keep that to myself or kind of pass if you will . She also told me she was really cool with gay people and loved the sinner but hated the sin .

I have little tolerance for that kind of language and told her that we could agree to disagree and that I didn't believe homosexuality was a sin and that one reason I wouldn't go to church was because it perpetuated self loathing in gay youth and then went on to tell tell her that as a gay man with Aids that was pretty much a left wing liberal Democrat with socialist leanings that likes to sleep in on sundays that I did appreciate the invite but it just wasn't my cup of tea .

About all she heard was the Aids word at this point so she stood up muttering she was also cool with people with aids and knew that she couldn't get it unless some of my body fluids got on her and out the door she went saying she had laundry in the dryer to attend to .

I am open about being HIV positive but the subject has never come up about with my neighbors since I moved here but I'm quite sure that all know now LOL . I do like this woman but I just couldn't help myself or keep my mouth shut , gotta be me ! .         

[denb45]

It will be four years this April

Wat?  don't leave us in the dark now Jeff 

[wolfter]

It will be four years this April

Pert near a virgin again?

Wolfie

[Jeff G]

I was suffering from premature posting ... excited I suppose LOL . 

[Matty the Damned]

I was suffering from premature posting ... excited I suppose LOL .

Oh honey.

You should share with that woman the last words of my fearsome Nan (which I believe have been posted in this place before):

Fuck off, you big fat cunt.

Despite what the do gooders tell you, profanity never fails to give relief.

MtD

[Jeff G]

Oh honey.

You should share with that woman the last words of my fearsome Nan (which I believe have been posted in this place before):

Fuck off, you big fat cunt.

Despite what the do gooders tell you, profanity never fails to give relief.

MtD

LOL that would do it !

This woman is a true southern progressive , she doesn't use the N word and doesn't advocate violence towards the gays .

[denb45]

  Jeff when people like that come to our door, we always answer in the nude with all of our swingin glory , when they see this, they never come back again..problem solved    what a horrid person she was  coming into your house & gettin in your face like that 

[thunter34]

I don't know about fully nude, but I did open the door to some Jehovah's Witnesses in some shorts that would make Daisy Duke blush...complete with a T-shirt that said, "Queen of the Fucking Universe".

It had the same effect.

It always boggles me when people roll out invitations like this.  "Please come and join us.  Hide who you are.  I "love" you, but hate the core of you.  But come...I think it would be so good for you."

In semi-related news, I just saw that Eddie Long (he of the multiple boy fondling scandals here in GA) has just now been wrapped in a Torah and declared a king or something or other.

[buginme2]

Heathan.

[Buckmark]

She told me I could keep that to myself or kind of pass if you will.

She doesn't realize how hurtful it is to be asked to be hide who you are, or how it perpetuates self-loathing.

She also told me she was really cool with gay people and loved the sinner but hated the sin .

She's not as cool as she thinks she is.  I detest this sort of conditional acceptance.

About all she heard was the Aids word at this point so she stood up muttering she was also cool with people with aids and knew that she couldn't get it unless some of my body fluids got on her and out the door she went saying she had laundry in the dryer to attend to.

Laundry in dryer?  She could have made up an excuse that was a little more urgent, e.g., "Something in my oven is burning."     I'm guessing she doesn't know any people with AIDS or HIV.  "I'm cool with neighbors who have AIDS".     How disingenuous.  Perhaps you could have told her you are cool with neighbors who a religion-pushing busy bodies. 

I do like this woman but I just couldn't help myself or keep my mouth shut , gotta be me ! .       

You shouldn't have to keep your mouth shut. 

Hugs,

Henry

[Miss Philicia]

I can't imagine someone asking someone else to church 12 times. That's the strangest part of the thread.

[Buckmark]

I can't imagine someone asking someone else to church 12 times. That's the strangest part of the thread.

In the south, or at least in Texas, people are relentless about this. 

[Miss Philicia]

In the south, or at least in Texas, people are relentless about this. 

So why don't you just say "Thanks for the invitation, but please not's ask me again"?

Or, of course, you could just say "I'm a JEW!"

[wolfter]

She doesn't realize how hurtful it is to be asked to be hide who you are, or how it perpetuates self-loathing.

She's not as cool as she thinks she is.  I detest this sort of conditional acceptance.

Laundry in dryer?  She could have made up an excuse that was a little more urgent, e.g., "Something in my oven is burning."     I'm guessing she doesn't know any people with AIDS or HIV.  "I'm cool with neighbors who have AIDS".     How disingenuous.  Perhaps you could have told her you are cool with neighbors who a religion-pushing busy bodies. 

You shouldn't have to keep your mouth shut. 

Hugs,

Henry

Well said on all accounts.  Thanks for not making me do all that typing. 

Perhaps you should try going one time.  Show up a nice sequined gown complete with pumps and lace gloves and Dolly Parton makeup, she'll then leave you alone.

Wolfie

[denb45]

Well said on all accounts.  Thanks for not making me do all that typing. 

Perhaps you should try going one time.  Show up a nice sequined gown complete with pumps and lace gloves and Dolly Parton makeup, she'll then leave you alone.

Wolfie

Our she might want you to join the womem's Church auxiliary

[Buckmark]

Perhaps you should try going one time.  Show up a nice sequined gown complete with pumps and lace gloves and Dolly Parton makeup, she'll then leave you alone.

Perhaps you could lend Jeff one of your outfits. 

[Buckmark]

So why don't you just say "Thanks for the invitation, but please not's ask me again"?

Or, of course, you could just say "I'm a JEW!"

I do.  And it doesn't stop some people.  Because, especially for some baptists / evangelicals, they feel they have to save you.  They just see you as more of a challenge, and seem to derive some satisfaction if they manage to convert you (which somehow seems so un-Christian to me).

Believe me, telling a baptist that you are a nice Catholic boy often elicits the same response as telling them you are a Jew. 

[Jeff G]

I have decided to handle the situation by inviting her over often with offers of home made food from my hands to hers . So for far she has been too busy to except the invitations .   

[Buckmark]

I have decided to handle the situation by inviting her over often with offers of home made food from my hands to hers . So for far she has been too busy to except the invitations .   

So she is missing out on your smothered pork chops, fried okra, turnip greens with ham hocks, mac and cheese, and other delicious and healthy dishes that are a staple of your repertoire?   

[Jeff G]

So she is missing out on your smothered pork chops, fried okra, turnip greens with ham hocks, mac and cheese, and other delicious and healthy dishes that are a staple of your repertoire?   

How did you know ?  . Tonight I'm making grilled chops with fried yellow squash . I drink diet coke with my Bourbon to balance out the health risk . 

[Miss Philicia]

Try some of the semen recipes from the cookbook Rev. Moon posted last week.

[Jeff G]

Try some of the semen recipes from the cookbook Rev. Moon posted last week.

If I'm not too tired I may whip some up , I hate the canned stuff .

[buginme2]

In the south, or at least in Texas, people are relentless about this.

Yet another reason to avoid the south (including Texas).  How y'all put up with that?

[Miss Philicia]

If I'm not too tired I may whip some up , I hate the canned stuff .

dice up some spam and throw it in spaghetti with the semen and it will be like carbonara

[spacebarsux]

dice up some spam and throw it in spaghetti with the semen and it will be like carbonara

Yeah, the egg "white" in this carbonara is rich in protein too. LOL

[thunter34]

Believe me, telling a baptist that you are a nice Catholic boy often elicits the same response as telling them you are a Jew.

I'll give that an "amen".

[leatherman]

Yet another reason to avoid the south (including Texas).  How y'all put up with that?

come visit here in beautiful SC - home of the Tea Party and Fundamental Baptists. (I'm sure Romney failed here because he's a -gasp!- Mormon. LOL) I swear if one more cashier wishes me to "have a blessed day" one more time, you might see me on the nightly news after I go "postal".   LOL

After two years I'm almost to the point of believing blizzards in Ohio are worth it compared to listening to all the religious BS about Jebus in this area. Why just last night I noticed that a TV ad for an indoor children's playground stresses that not only are they a safe and enjoyable place for your child to visit; but they are a "moral" place for your child too - and they touted endorsements from several local churches.

[denb45]

Mikie move to New Mexico, we don't take kindly to those types here in ABQ, only if your Catholic, but  most of them are all in the closet anyway, and suck & fuck , but do go to midnight mass to confess 

[leatherman]

but do go to midnight mass to confess 

Catholics have it so easy. LOL for us it's all hellfire-n-brimstone all-the-time.

[GSOgymrat]

I am open about being HIV positive but the subject has never come up about with my neighbors since I moved here but I'm quite sure that all know now LOL . I do like this woman but I just couldn't help myself or keep my mouth shut , gotta be me ! .       

Good for you! I love that you stood up for yourself.

[Jeff G]

Good for you! I love that you stood up for yourself.

 

[tednlou2]

Within a week of moving in our house, the neighborhood church group of about 4 people stopped by.  I guess they keep track on home sales.  My partner let them in.  They went into the whole spill about whether we've accepted Jesus as our personal savior, yada, yada, yada.  I left and went into another room.  Well, they just went on and on asking questions.  They were asking whether my partner had a wife.  I guess we come off more straight than I thought. 

Finally, I had enough.  I went back into the kitchen and said, "Ok, that's enough.  We are a gay couple and I seriously doubt we would be accepted openly at your church, even if we wanted to attend."  They agreed that would not be possible to attend the church as an openly gay couple. 

When the Mormon boys have stopped by, I've told them I don't like what the Mormon Church did with Prop 8.  They acted like they didn't know what I was talking about.  Perhaps these young guys weren't aware.  I wanted to ask about the magic underwear, but didn't.  Maybe next time.       

[wolfter]

Perhaps you could lend Jeff one of your outfits. 

Oh please, Jeff is a strapping specimen of manhood.  He'd never fit into one of my petite size 2   4 gowns.

Wolfie

[Jeff G]

Oh please, Jeff is a strapping specimen of manhood.  He'd never fit into one of my petite size 2   4 gowns.

Wolfie

I could wear it as a belly shirt    .

[denb45]

Oh please, Jeff is a strapping specimen of manhood.  He'd never fit into one of my petite size 2   4 gowns.

Wolfie

OK, Wolify we need pictars of you in this petite-size-gown, complete with Jimmy Cho shoes, and a beaded hand-bag, don't leave us all hanging without any proof of this 

[SANJUANDUDE]

I can't imagine someone asking someone else to church 12 times. That's the strangest part of the thread.

so true, after they decline once, twice at best, time to give it up.

http://timehasshownme.com

[Assurbanipal]

If I'm not too tired I may whip some up , I hate the canned stuff .

i love you guys. 

 

[Rev. Moon]

dice up some spam and throw it in spaghetti with the semen and it will be like carbonara

And here's a lovely dessert, perfect for a Southern gathering.

Spunky Candied Pecans



Perfect for holiday potlucks. Merry Christmas, grandma! Additionally, if you're anything like us, "toss the pecans gently in the melted butter" will become your new go-to euphemism. Ingredients:
1/2 cup sugar
3 cups pecans or other savory nuts
3 tablespoons melted butter
1-2 tablespoons fresh semen

Directions:
Toss the pecans gently in the melted butter on large baking sheet and bake at 350 degrees several minutes until the nuts are lightly browned. Combine the sugar and semen and perhaps a little more butter in a small bowl before stirring into the pecans. Bake another 5-8 minutes until the sugar hardens.



Pair with a crisp Pinot Grigio and fresh, seasonal berries and you, my dear, are in for a special treat.




Now, if these neighbors are kinda classy you could always make some Oysters à la Crème.

[denb45]

Oysters à la Crème[/i].

  come on Rev. don't do like this, love me some Oysters 

[Miss Philicia]

Speaking of sperm-like, today I opened up what I thought was some lovely lowfat grain-fed organic cow's milk, when in fact it was kefir, the fermented milk from the Caucasus that has the consistency of cold semen. I tried it with some rice and wheat flake cereal and had to throw it all away. Vile.

I'd bet money that Nestor drinks it every day.

[Rev. Moon]

Speaking of sperm-like, today I opened up what I thought was some lovely lowfat grain-fed organic cow's milk, when in fact it was kefir, the fermented milk from the Caucasus that has the consistency of cold semen. I tried it with some rice and wheat flake cereal and had to throw it all away. Vile.

LOL, I used to love that as a kid.  It was homemade, my mother would sweeten it with fruit and I found it delicious.  Haven't had the stuff in like 15 years, maybe I wouldn't like it as much. 

[denb45]

When I 1st meet Bob and still worked 18 hrs a day, he cooked me some very nice Cornish games hen's for dinner as I got home late, it was the best meal I'd had ever eaten ( cooked by him) 

 then he told me, that he fucked & jerked-off into the one he cooked for me and cooked it to lock in the sperm-ness  and run across to the other side of the room like I was gonna get mad @ him for doing this,

 then I laughed, and told him that was the best dam Cornish games hen I'd ever eaten, well the rest was history 

[Jeff G]

When I 1st meet Bob and still worked 18 hrs a day, he cooked me some very nice Cornish games hen's for dinner as I got home late, it was the best meal I'd had ever eaten ( cooked by him) 

 then he told me, that he fucked & jerked-off into the one he cooked for me and cooked it to lock in the sperm-ness  and run across to the other side of the room like I was gonna get mad @ him for doing this,

 then I laughed, and told him that was the best dam Cornish games hen I'd ever eaten, well the rest was history 

carnal knowledge of uncooked poultry is frowned upon in my thread .  . You have besmirched a perfectly healthy thread about christian bashing and turned it into something more seedy than that rock hens ass .   

[wolfter]

Lordy, if you all had my figure, well....anyways.

36, 28, 32. 

Wolfie

[denb45]

carnal knowledge of uncooked poultry is frowned upon in my thread .  . You have besmirched a perfectly healthy thread about christian bashing and turned it into something more seedy than that rock hens ass .   

Well somebody had too  it was bound to happen sooner or later 

[Jeff G]

Well somebody had too  it was bound to happen sooner or later 

Go get your husband and show him how you just outed him as a chicken fucker    .

[denb45]

Go get your husband and show him how you just outed him as a chicken fucker    .

He's form northern NY up in Amish Country , it's a true story, and he still thinks it's funny, that game hen was asking for it.....enough said 

[Rev. Moon]

Go get your husband and show him how you just outed him as a chicken fucker    .

Hmmm... I wonder if Dennis hubby had something to do with the network mentioned in  this thread

[denb45]

Hmmm... I wonder if Dennis hubby had something to do with the network mentioned in  this thread

CHild that was all miss p's doing I plead the 5th on that one