Please assess my risk

[winterpark1976]

Hi,

I believe I know the answer to my question, but wanted to be sure as I believe my heightened anxiety is due to my lack of experience.  I am a male and was with another male about 10 days ago.  I was the bottom in anal sex.  I made my partner wear a condom (even at his insistence that he was married and no risk).  My question, is that he would go soft and fall out of me.  We would take the condom off, i would give him oral until he got hard, put the same condom back on.  This happened about three times before I gave up.  He insisted he couldnt stay hard with a condom so we stopped having sex since I wouldnt allow him to enter me without one.

1.  The condom stayed intact the whole time (last time he got soft and fell out, the condom slid off his penis and was half in half out of me as he pulled out.  However, he was never inside me without protection.  Is it a risk to use the same condom?  He never ejaculated?
2.  I dont believe there was precum when I gave him oral, but I am assuming there was no risk with that since he didnt ejaculate and my oral health is good.
3.  I know I should get tested once a year in good practice, but should I bother testing over this incident?

[Ann]

Winter,

Good for you for sticking to your guns and insisting on a condom for anal. You did the right thing. People are not high or low or no risk, activities are and unprotected anal is at the top of the risk list. Just because this guy is married doesn't mean he is "no risk". Far from it. If he wants to have unprotected intercourse with you, you can bet your bottom dollar (er, no pun intended!) he's having it with others. I pity his poor unsuspecting wife.

You weren't at risk. Condoms have been proven to prevent hiv infection. And yes, you should be tested for hiv and everything else no less than once a year, twice a year if you become very active sexually. Here's what you need to know in order to remain hiv negative:

You need to be using condoms for anal or vaginal intercourse, every time, no exceptions until such time as you are in a securely monogamous relationship where you have both tested for ALL sexually transmitted infections together.

To agree to have unprotected intercourse is to consent to the possibility of being infected with an STI. Sex without a condom lasts only a matter of minutes, but hiv is forever.

Have a look through the condom and lube links in my signature line so you can use condoms with confidence.

Anyone who is sexually active should be having a full sexual health care check-up, including but not limited to hiv testing, at least once a year and more often if unprotected intercourse occurs.

If you aren't already having regular, routine check-ups, now is the time to start. As long as you make sure condoms are being used for intercourse, you can fully expect your routine hiv tests to return with negative results.

Don't forget to always get checked for all the other sexually transmitted infections as well, because they are MUCH easier to transmit than hiv.

Use condoms for anal or vaginal intercourse, correctly and consistently, and you will avoid hiv infection. It really is that simple!

Ann

[winterpark1976]

I appreciate the follow up.  Just wanted to clarify a couple of things. using the same condom as long as it doesnt break is fine? (never any ejaculation)  should I worry about the oral at all?  Do I need to test over this incident? 

Thanks - only my second experience and has me a little on edge.  Especially with the fact that they guy said he always played safe but was very willing to have unprotected sex.  Have a great day.

[Ann]

Winter,

Using the same condom isn't the best idea, but as long as it didn't break there's no problem. You don't need to worry about the oral.

And for the record, don't believe what guys tell you. Don't believe it if they say they're hiv negative and push for bareback. Lots of guys don't accurately know their status and yes, some guys will lie. Keep sticking to your guns and insist on condoms for intercourse. You'll stay hiv negative that way.

Ann