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Meds, Mind, Body & Benefits => Mental Health & HIV => Topic started by: PaulinNJ on June 09, 2009, 04:18:12 pm

Title: I'm back after a long hiatus and need some encouragement!
Post by: PaulinNJ on June 09, 2009, 04:18:12 pm
As some of you know, it was a struglle moving from NJ to Phoenix this past fall. I finallu got here and within six months had to move out of my old complex (gunfire, theft, need I go on?). I've tried to make friends here but Phoenix appears to be a city of lost ouls with their own agenda ("ME!"). It seems evrything to getting my power turned back on in 106 degree heat to having enough in my fridge for me and my "babies" (my two orange tabbies...if not for them...) - well, it's ALL been a fight, a sruggle. The power company is a monopoly and they even laughed when I begged them to please stick to our arrangement so I could pay the $300 deposit. I had to take a titel loan on my truck for $500 which I had to turn over to APS to restore my power.

I am a storng person who will fight for right as some of you know, but I am out of energy in this struggle. I am tempted to sell what's not important to me, to make as much gas money to get back east to NJ, perhaps stay with a friend for a few weeks till my next check comes through, take my babies and hit the road. What is important to me (family antiques and a few other items) I can store out here.

Of course, moving east would mean temporarily living with Mom in NJ again which is fine considering we get along so well and I know she misses me. It's my money-counting brother and sister who would not care for it considering he has full poer-of-attorney. I would make the living situation as temporary as possibleat Mom's and do my best to try and use a friend's address in NYC. Apparently, as I was told in 2001 when first diagnosed, that if I lived in NYC, I would "have it made". I am not looking for handouts, just a hand up.

I've been in Phoenix eight months now and nothing has not been a struggle. I'm tired, and it has taken its toll on my health. I want to stem that tide before I gt really sick.

Anywords of wisdom out there for me?

Lonely in Phoenix.

Thanks.
Title: Re: I'm back after a long hiatus and need some encouragement!
Post by: mecch on June 09, 2009, 06:27:50 pm
I suggest you sit in the middle of a quiet room and meditate on where is the best place for you.
Why did you want to move to Arizona in the first place... this is missing information.
You will find the answer if you listen to your instinct.
Title: Re: I'm back after a long hiatus and need some encouragement!
Post by: PaulinNJ on June 10, 2009, 04:31:15 am
Thanks Mecch-

Sometimes even those of us who are best at smackin' our friend's butts when they need a "bada-bing" (that Italian love tap) need a smack of our own on the back of the head from time to time.

I did exactly what you said and realized I am where I need to be right now. It was just a crappy, crappy week (comes in threes and Monday bit the big one!) and after feeling better, I got up, cleaned up my apartment (Pity Parties are such a messy thing), and before I am off to bed, I wanted to come back and thank you from the bottom of my heart...it's a friend who tells a friend like it is and I thank you my friend.

XXX
Paul
Title: Re: I'm back after a long hiatus and need some encouragement!
Post by: BT65 on June 10, 2009, 04:15:29 pm
Paul, I'm sorry you're going through such a time right now.  Have you been in touch with an Aids Service organization since being there?  I'm sure they could put you in touch with plenty of agencies that could give you some help. 

I have a sister who lives there, and she asked me when I was there in December if I wanted to move there.  It seems like a nice place, with lots of things to do.  Of course, making a major move does require putting up with stress at first.  (I'm not saying I'm moving).

Really, get in touch with an ASO.  I think that may help relieve some pressure.
  Luv,
Betty
Title: Re: I'm back after a long hiatus and need some encouragement!
Post by: PaulinNJ on June 10, 2009, 04:36:40 pm
Great suggestion...I did just that even before I set foot outside of NJ...and since November, I have had three caseworkers...I was in a funk last week admittedly...Phoenix is a great place...just have to be cautious of people out to use what they can get from you which I learned early on. To add stink to the stank (LOL), I moved to an apartment complex that was nice, gated etc. but within a few months it became the border for a gang turfwar...so my doctor wrote a letter and got me out of my lease. Pooh, Piglet, and I are in our new home almost two months now...not all the furniture is where I want it, but we're happy.

I am going to call Care Diresctions and find out who my new caseworker is and Body Postive to get an appointment with them for other services. It's been tight financially but we're going to make it. Noting like two orange furballs loving on me to make me happy again.

Wanna hear the kicker though? I had to apply for NAS (Nutrional Assistance Services...formerly known as foodstamps) and --- KRAKOOM!!! -- my monthly benefit is a whopping $16.00 - WOW! Now I can buy gum! LOL

We live in hope...and gotta keep laughing.

You're a shining star for me BT...keep on rockin' and come see us in Phoenix again - I promise, promise, promise I will see you next visit.

XXX
Paul (from New Jersey???) Hmmmm....
Title: Re: I'm back after a long hiatus and need some encouragement!
Post by: BT65 on June 10, 2009, 08:45:10 pm
Don't feel bad, Paul.  I only get $16/month in food stamps also (funny we get the same amount).  Mine actually went up, from $14. ::)
Title: Re: I'm back after a long hiatus and need some encouragement!
Post by: PaulinNJ on June 11, 2009, 02:08:29 am
LORD LOVE A DUCK, BT!!!

So, do you find the Big Red/banana diet works best or the Juicy Fruit/Mac 'n' Cheese works better?

GOTTA LAUGH! When we stop it's time...and after my PMSing last week (I am over it!), I even worried myself!

HEY! Guess what??? I've been chatting with someone through Poz Personals for months now and we have a date Saturday to go for a long back country ride!

Life is good!!!

XXXOOO
Paul

PS Gotta change my profile name on here already...PPinAZ? Hmmm....

Title: Re: I'm back after a long hiatus and need some encouragement!
Post by: MarcoPoz on June 11, 2009, 08:31:52 am
Hey Pauly!

New place, new drama, new problems and maybe new opportunities too???  Ah, brother, breathe ;-)  IN January when it's minus--freezing-yer-ass in NJ, sip a nice class of iced tea on a pleasant 80 degree day in your new locale and think about the rest of us rust-belters and our frozen tidbits :)
Title: Re: I'm back after a long hiatus and need some encouragement!
Post by: BT65 on June 11, 2009, 08:43:40 am
Paul, when things get tough, I visit food pantries.  That helps a bit.

And yeah, when I was out in Phoenix over Christmas, it was in the 70's and sunny everyday.  Made me really hate to come back to tons of snow and -0 wind chills.
Title: Re: I'm back after a long hiatus and need some encouragement!
Post by: PaulinNJ on June 11, 2009, 10:23:33 am
Come on out in July or August! This will be my first summer here but I will take 2-3 months of ugly hot and 9-10 months of beautiful than that negative zero stuff! When I shoveled my last in NJ I rolled around in the snow...now I forget what it's like. BUT, Flagstaff is a few hours north!

Happy Thursday!
Title: Re: I'm back after a long hiatus and need some encouragement!
Post by: BT65 on June 11, 2009, 08:46:28 pm
I hear ya, Paul, but I don't think I'll be traveling that way in July or August anytime soon.  I really do like Phoenix, though; what I've seen of it anyway.  I was out there twice before last Christmas.  The 2nd time I had my daughter with me (it was almost 20 years ago) and we all went over to Disneyland. 

Yeah, I don't like the -0 stuff either, trust me.  I had to use the shovel almost every day for a couple weeks last winter and it got old really, really fast.  I think we just got spoiled with a few winters of hardly any snow.  When I was growing up, we used to get scads of snow. 

Maybe someday I'll be heading out that way.  Anyway, enjoy all the beautiful scenery.