POZ Community Forums
Main Forums => I Just Tested Poz => Topic started by: dean07 on November 10, 2008, 02:39:12 pm
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feel shit fount out two week ago just a first check up, the thing is i have always used protection when having sex 3 boyfriends, so i must of got it the UN lucky way
when will this feeling shit in my head go away :( i cant get a grip right now, then i tell my mananger because i thought she was a good mate, and today she rang me and told me, she had to cut back on staff, lier
got my CD4 count today its 543 is this bad, x will it go up x
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Hi, sorry for the news but i am glad you found the forums.
You know... people say times is a healer and it is true. Take things easy... one day at a time and slowly everything will be as clear as before. Your CD4 is very good, higher than my first CD4 :). Keep the mood up, good things will come, no storm last forever.
Hugs,
Juan Carlos
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could mine go up, by any chance. worring now
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Have you had a confirmative test done? Just because you may have had a positive HIV test does not mean you are positive. You did not contract HIV from the use of condoms that were correctly and consistently used.
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i went all the way to london for a second test same results, i had 11 blood samples took after there what i got to day
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Hi Dean,
Welcome to the forums. I am relatively new here, too. Your count is so much better than mine. Others who are more knowledgeable will answer, but the counts go up and down. In fact, I think your count is within "normal" limits now. Of course, I am not a physician -- so ignore my advice.
My non-medical advice:
Read everything on this website, especially the lessons.
Follow up with the doctors. Make a list of questions to ask when there.
Stop worrying about where/how you got the virus. After all, you have it. And, it is just a virus.
And, know this: the medicines available now really are great, compared to the past.
Regards,
Here!
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heey thanks for the advice m8, i have a guy i chat to who is 19 and in cd4 count of 700 to 800 so just thought mine was bad,
and i no everyone keeps saying im fine but i caant see it right now im hating my self at the min
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Dean,
I know you say you are hating yourself at the moment. But, you know, give yourself a break. Be kind and gentle to yourself. Do you hate yourself when you catch a cold? No, probably not! This is just a virus. It is not a judgment.
Maybe seeing a counselor might help?
Regards,
Here!
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Turning poz sucks. You feel like a complete loser, like a fuck-up, like a leper, like life is over. You're in a state of shock when you get the news but the good news is that the shock lasts just a couple of weeks. The fact that you are on a poz site talking to others shows me that the shock is starting to wear off.
After the shock of the diagnosis starts to wear off comes what I call the rollercoaster phase. This lasts about six months and during that time some guys start doing crazy things like selling their possessions and becoming a monk or getting poz tattooed in big letters on their arm. You'll have good days and not so good days but none of the days will feel like the last couple of weeks have. It really will get better everyday as you decide what direction you want to go in life and start to get used to being poz. Its like buying a pair of new shoes - they are stiff and hurt at first but once they break in they become comfortable. Just try to keep everything in your life the same as it is now until this adjustment phase passes, the time it takes to get your poz legs if you will. By the time the trees start budding again next year, you should feel pretty stable emotionally and will see that you do have a really bright future in front of you. I always suggest to pozlings that they keep the news to themselves during these months because you might wish later that you hadn't told this person or that one during an emotional period.
I know what you're thinking. Six months?? That's forever. Trust me - it passes pretty quickly. Thanksgiving is just around the corner so start focusing on where you want to eat the bird and how much pumpkin pie you want to chow down. After that is the holiday season with the pretty lights and presents. Put a special present under the tree for yourself and send yourself a really cool card. It sounds dumb but it works. New Year's Eve? Walk up to the hottest guy you see and give him a big smooch - all the cool kids will be doing it so join in. You will feel so completely different by January 1, 2009.
CD4 counts - we don't get CD4 counts before we test poz so we don't know what is normal for us. Comparing your numbers to other people is fruitless. You have a starting number and it will go up and down. Mine started at around 450 and 15% and quickly plunged to 283/13% with a viral load of 283,000. I started taking meds 2 years after diagnosis and now they are 555/27%. I'm 50 and have never looked as good as I do today, not even when I was 25. My friends hate me:) There are a lot of things you can do to take care of yourself and boost those t-cells but this post is already becoming long.
When I first turned poz, some guy in London sent me emails everyday for 3 months encouraging me and answering every question I could come up with. It made the adjustment period a lot easier. I would be more than happy to return the karma if you want - my email is sendmeyourdamnspamhere@yahoo.com. There is no reason for any human with HIV to feel alone since we have all been there and we all know that you will get through this terrible time in your life.
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cheers m8 all going tho my head now is im going to die lonly and never going to have a boyfriend i really like, which i always wanted,
even stupid things like when i have to go on meds im not going to take them because i did this to my self so it can killl me
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HEY BUD,
Welcome to the Aidsmeds Forums,
i totally know what your going though, read my post "for all the new poz people" or whatever i titled it its at the top of this forum.
PLEASE, beleive me time is a healer you will get over your innitial shock, i am comming up to my 1st aniversary the first year my cd4 went from 1273 to 600 or so now its back up again you need to wait at least 6-8 months to get something called a "baseline" before you actually know what your CD4 is.
i have just had my bloods done again this week, and am waiting for the results, these results are very important to me as this is the longest i have gone without any results.
I am sure you know you aint gona die tomorrow, next week next month next year and so on because of hiv.
its time to take total control of your life, use hiv as an excuse to sort out all the shitty things in your life, ---------------- take stock of your life look at what you dont like about it and CHANGE IT
and for sure GRAB HOLD OF HIV and tell it "YOU AINT GONA BOTHER MY LIFE - I AM GONA BOTHER U"
PM ME IF YOU WANT
simon
x
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Hey Dean, sorry to hear your news. Your CD4 is high and that's great news. Your feeling shit will go. I promise mate. It might help to get yourself some counselling to help you get your head around living with HIV. If you're in the UK, check out the THT - I had 18 free sessions with one of their counsellors and it really helped. This site is a brilliant resource as well. There are great treatments now that, when needed, will help you live for many, many years. All the best fella. Mark x