Author Topic: UPDATE:I have the right to cry and vent, don't I? : Blue Moon. (Read 6916 times)

LatinAlexander · « **on:** July 16, 2008, 09:53:54 am »

Blue Moon (Billie Holiday)

Blue moon,
you saw me standing alone
without a dream in my heart
without a love of my own.

Blue moon,
you knew just what I was there for
you heard me saying a prayer for
someone I really could care for...

Alex

heartforyou · « **Reply #1 on:** July 16, 2008, 11:06:41 am »

sending you a heartwarmer Alex

luv

Hermie

Iggy · « **Reply #2 on:** July 16, 2008, 12:11:25 pm »

Alex,

You got every right to vent and cry, though I got to admit you are doing it with style.

Just remember another Billie to go along with your question:

Nobody's business
Ain't nobody's business
Nobody's business if I do

pozniceguy · « **Reply #3 on:** July 16, 2008, 12:42:05 pm »

Great choice and as already stated a very elegant way to "cry" love Billie Holiday...

Nick

BT65 · « **Reply #4 on:** July 16, 2008, 12:59:04 pm »

Here's a hug- {{Alex}}

LatinAlexander · « **Reply #5 on:** July 16, 2008, 01:27:51 pm »

I guess, you all would expect some sort of explanation. Well, as stupid as It may sound, it is just that there is a wonderful weather, and everyone is going to the beach of on a trip o planning a few days with their Sweet-hearts.

And all of a sudden, I happen to notice that I am the only one without a plan to do. I mean, nothing to plan, nowhere to go, no feeling of anxiety for a date to come or anything like that. And then, I decided to go to a place for the Gay Pride. Alone, but hey I had to go out right? I do not think Mr Right will come to my house knocking at my door. I have to go out, and get myself exposed to it.

And then I go, and party. And then, my bad karma for the wrong guy comes to me. Nice guy, 40, from the Middle East just visiting town, married, with 3 kids.

And then again, I decide to just enjoy the moment. Just having someone to dance with. Pride has become a kinda difficult time of the year, because of my love story two years ago. So I decide to play it , at least for a few hours. Because even when that would not take care of my loneliness, at least, I would not feel so screwed.

And we dance, and I go home. He calls next day, asking me to come to his hotel. And I may be young but not that naive. I knew he wanted sex (Even when the previous night I told him about me being +). And we had sex. And then I left his room, feeling myself like a whore.

And he said exactly what every other guy tells me. That I am nice, that I am smart, that I am cute, that I am wonderful. And then, that He would like me to be his friend. And that he would be back in January. And that is it.

And I am home again. No one to go out with, no one to cuddle with. The phone that never rings. The dates no one remembers but me. The weekends alone, sleeping till 4 pm, simply because there is no reason to wake up before. The movies I see alone, the songs I hear alone. The deafening silence of my place.

Just me boys, gals, and everyone else. And sometimes, it simply sucks.

At least, It makes me feel a little bit better to know that there was somebody else who had felt like this. At least I am not the only one.

Alex

Basquo · « **Reply #6 on:** July 16, 2008, 02:12:46 pm »

If you went out looking for Mr. Right, and decided to sleep with an adulterer, did you expect to feel any different?

If he said what every other guy says, maybe you should consider if you really want to continue sleeping with every other guy. Perhaps try it differently and hold out to see if the next one is relationship-oriented or not. Obviously you are or you wouldn't be crying and venting. You don't have to sleep with someone on the second date.

David_CA · « **Reply #7 on:** July 16, 2008, 02:17:29 pm »

Alex,

To be honest, some of the most fun guys I've known have been married with kids and unavailable!

In the case of the guy you met, being 'friends' is about all he can do most likely. Still, it's good that you went and had fun while you were there. Keep going places, meeting people, and having fun but be realistic about your expectations. Here's another (cyber)hug for you.

David

Lisa · « **Reply #8 on:** July 16, 2008, 02:39:14 pm »

First things first..here's a big hug {{{Alex}}}
We all have those moments from time to time. I have been alone, and celibate for a little over 10 years. Many, MANY, of my younger years were spent in really bad relationships. I was so glad to finally have some peace, that I found being on my own quite liberating. That doesn't mean I don't get a bit lonely from time to time, but if you had my kids, you would understand why I enjoy things being quiet around here.
Kids for sale;CHEAP!

Oceanbeach · « **Reply #9 on:** July 16, 2008, 10:03:10 pm »

Alex Dahlin,

I have a history of unavailable men. I have a history of men who are available but not appropriate and sometimes I can down a bottle of Southern Comfort and crank out the tunes... The estate has agreed to let me perform this personal favorite if Eddie Harris will play the piano AND... It is performed at Barney's Beanery on Santa Monica Blvd in WEHO. Here is the personal favorite: Turtle Blues, Janis Joplin

OH
Oh, I'm a mean, mean gay man, I don't mean no one man, no good
A mean, mean gay man, don't mean no one man, no good
I jus cheats em like I once did, hon, honey but cheats em like I should

Lord, loed, I once had a daddy, he said he'd give me everything in sight
Once had a daddy, said he'd give me everything in sight.
Yes He Did
So, I said Honey, want the suction he'll take the stars out of the night
Come on, I'll give it to you right now, because I want it, right now, right now

I ain't the kind of gay man, to make your life a bed of ease
Ain't the kind of gay man to make your life a bed of ease No No, No No, No No,

Hey, but if you just want to go out drinkin... won't you invite me along please?

Just like a turtle, hidin underneath it's horny shell
Just like a turtle, hidin underneath it's horny shell... But you know I'm very well protected, I know this god damn life to well.

Have the best day
Michael

Iggy · « **Reply #10 on:** July 17, 2008, 02:09:48 pm »

Alex,

I have a similar bittersweet issue with past Prides. The hardest was due to the difference between two Prides when I was with my last partner.

When I was with my ex, we lived on Christopher Street and our first year together we had a brunch celebration with friends to watch the parade from our place. It was so much fun with us hanging out the windows (praying that the dilapidated window frame wouldn't give way under our collective weight) and just cheering, laughing and having a great time.

The following Pride we had broken up and while he had moved, I was still in the building. The event was sort of sad, with me hanging out in the doorway trying to cheer the parade all the while thinking that it felt so empty and alone - particualrly as I saw groups of people and lovers all watching the event in front of me.

There are things and times that I had greatly enjoyed being single as there were times I hated feeling that I was alone.

Not really offering and advice, but wanted to share so that you know you are not alone here in many ways.

mjmel · « **Reply #11 on:** July 17, 2008, 08:20:58 pm »

Honey, quit feeling sorry for yourself. Ya got laid, didn't you? That's something.

Are you really listening? You write, "That I am nice, that I am smart, that I am cute, that I am wonderful. And then, that He would like me to be his friend. And that he would be back in January."

I agree that this isn't exactly relationship material but he complimented you very nicely so.......don't you believe any of it? Can't you break the mode of sitting at home moped up about that one not being a special thing? Go out and find yourself a man.
You're cute, nice and smart.

Mike

AlanBama · « **Reply #12 on:** July 18, 2008, 10:50:04 am »

First of all, big ((((HUGS)))) to you Alex

Honey, you have to understand (and believe) that you are worthy of a good man and a great relationship. I learned that you have to do that internal "self help" before you start sending out the right kind of "vibes". Then, when you least expect it, he'll pop up....

1) love yourself, and be good to YOU.
-- then --
2) loving others becomes a lot easier. (with more opportunities !)

hugs,
Alan

BlueMoon · « **Reply #13 on:** July 19, 2008, 11:08:03 am »

Alexander, I feel your pain.

LatinAlexander · « **Reply #14 on:** July 21, 2008, 05:51:42 am »

Quote from: Basquo on July 16, 2008, 02:12:46 pm

If you went out looking for Mr. Right, and decided to sleep with an adulterer, did you expect to feel any different?

If he said what every other guy says, maybe you should consider if you really want to continue sleeping with every other guy. Perhaps try it differently and hold out to see if the next one is relationship-oriented or not. Obviously you are or you wouldn't be crying and venting. You don't have to sleep with someone on the second date.

Hi Basquo. Well, I guess it is easier said than done. I have to keep on trying. But that doesn't mean it doesn't hurt.

Alex

LatinAlexander · « **Reply #15 on:** July 21, 2008, 05:52:52 am »

Quote from: David_NC on July 16, 2008, 02:17:29 pm

Alex,

To be honest, some of the most fun guys I've known have been married with kids and unavailable! In the case of the guy you met, being 'friends' is about all he can do most likely. Still, it's good that you went and had fun while you were there. Keep going places, meeting people, and having fun but be realistic about your expectations. Here's another (cyber)hug for you.

David

Thank you David. Well, for me it is very difficult to get going to places. I mean, it is kinda difficult to do it, to get out there, and try. But there is no other way around it, uh?

ALex

LatinAlexander · « **Reply #16 on:** July 21, 2008, 05:54:23 am »

Quote from: Sonomabeach on July 16, 2008, 10:03:10 pm

Alex Dahlin,

I have a history of unavailable men. I have a history of men who are available but not appropriate and sometimes I can down a bottle of Southern Comfort and crank out the tunes... The estate has agreed to let me perform this personal favorite if Eddie Harris will play the piano AND... It is performed at Barney's Beanery on Santa Monica Blvd in WEHO. Here is the personal favorite: Turtle Blues, Janis Joplin

OH
Oh, I'm a mean, mean gay man, I don't mean no one man, no good
A mean, mean gay man, don't mean no one man, no good
I jus cheats em like I once did, hon, honey but cheats em like I should

Lord, loed, I once had a daddy, he said he'd give me everything in sight
Once had a daddy, said he'd give me everything in sight.
Yes He Did
So, I said Honey, want the suction he'll take the stars out of the night
Come on, I'll give it to you right now, because I want it, right now, right now

I ain't the kind of gay man, to make your life a bed of ease
Ain't the kind of gay man to make your life a bed of ease No No, No No, No No,

Hey, but if you just want to go out drinkin... won't you invite me along please?

Just like a turtle, hidin underneath it's horny shell
Just like a turtle, hidin underneath it's horny shell... But you know I'm very well protected, I know this god damn life to well.
Have the best day
Michael

If we get to meet one day, I'll make sure to sing next to you (well, at least until we get arrested

), THANK YOU Michael

Alex

LatinAlexander · « **Reply #17 on:** July 21, 2008, 05:58:22 am »

Quote from: mjmel on July 17, 2008, 08:20:58 pm

Honey, quit feeling sorry for yourself. Ya got laid, didn't you? That's something.

Are you really listening? You write, "That I am nice, that I am smart, that I am cute, that I am wonderful. And then, that He would like me to be his friend. And that he would be back in January."

I agree that this isn't exactly relationship material but he complimented you very nicely so.......don't you believe any of it? Can't you break the mode of sitting at home moped up about that one not being a special thing? Go out and find yourself a man.
You're cute, nice and smart.

Mike

Mike, It is just that if I am all that, then why am I alone? I mean, in a personal sense. Yes, I have friends, and family and stuff, but where is HE? Jeez, I must begin looking under the rocks then.

Anyway. I guess it is for the better. I need a man who can take my hand. And he obviously cannot.

Alex

LatinAlexander · « **Reply #18 on:** July 21, 2008, 06:05:18 am »

Quote from: BlueMoon on July 19, 2008, 11:08:03 am

Alexander, I feel your pain.

Oh jeez, i forgot that there was somebody with the name of the song as alias. Talk about coincidences uh?

Alex

DCGUY2007 · « **Reply #19 on:** July 22, 2008, 02:02:19 am »

Latin,

I can totally relate to your post. It isn't always easy being alone. At least you were able to go out and have a little fun. Yea I know this isn't always enough but sometimes it is a brief distraction. Only problem is feeling lonely again afterwards.

Hope you feel better. There is always tomorrow

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Author Topic: UPDATE:I have the right to cry and vent, don't I? : Blue Moon. (Read 6916 times)