Odd situation? Risk?

[questions100]

Ok.. From reading other posts and the welcome thread, I'm going to guess and say that people will probably tell me to go pound sand, but here's the deal.

I had protected sex with someone of unknown status. No risk, I realize this. Here's my (perhaps obsessive) issue.

I received oral sex, which then progressed to protected sex. When opening the condom, the foil wrapper nicked the top of my thumb. I saw no blood at first, it was like a paper cut. Sex progressed immediately (seconds) thereafter, and I have no doubt I may have touched vaginal fluids.

I have read stuff online that talks about the dangers of a "fresh" cut. Well, this was about as fresh as you can get.

Coincidentally, went to my annual checkup this week, 4 days post incident (I know that means nothing) and was negative on elisa. This was my only risk (sex with a stranger) in about six months.

So.. am I RIGHT here, from what I read (despite other crap on the internet):

1. Insertive oral - NO real risk; no need to worry and test further
2. Protected vaginal - NO risk, no need to worry and test further
3. Nick on finger seconds before sex - ?? No real risk? Equivalent to fingering maybe?? - No risk no need to worry either?

Should I just chill out and pat myself on the back for getting lucky after a long dry spell?

I'm hoping this is just anxiety. We all try and do the right things but I worry.. Specifically, not really about me.. but my own guilt here is that I take care of my sick brother (not HIV, unrelated issues).. he depends on me..  If something ever happened to me and I couldn't take care of him, I'd beat myself up over it endlessly.

Should I test again in 13, or is my annual negative at checkup here good enough?

[Ann]

Quest,

1. Insertive oral - NO real risk; no need to worry and test further
correct
2. Protected vaginal - NO risk, no need to worry and test further
correct
3. Nick on finger seconds before sex - ?? No real risk? Equivalent to fingering maybe?? - No risk no need to worry either?
correct, no risk. A fresh deep cut you might have to worry about. A nick? No way.

Something else you said concerns me though: "This was my only risk (sex with a stranger) in about six months."

You need to know that people aren't risky (strangers), but unprotected intercourse is, whether the person is a stranger or not. You need to be using condoms for anal or vaginal intercourse, every time, no exceptions until such time as you are in a securely monogamous relationship where you have both tested for ALL STIs together. To agree to have unprotected intercourse is to consent to the possibility of being infected with a sexually transmitted infection.

Have a look through the condom and lube links in my signature line so you can use condoms with confidence.

Anyone who is sexually active should be having a full sexual health care check-up, including but not limited to hiv testing, at least once a year and more often if unprotected intercourse occurs. It sounds as though you are already doing this. Well done - this is a habit to continue.

If you aren't already having regular, routine check-ups, now is the time to start. As long as you make sure condoms are being used for intercourse, you can fully expect your routine hiv tests to return with negative results. Don't forget to always get checked for all the other sexually transmitted infections as well, because they are MUCH easier to transmit than hiv.

You didn't have a risk in what you've brought to us and you do not need further testing until it is once again time for your regular, routine sexual health screening.

Ann

[questions100]

Thanks Ann. I just wanted to clarify that, too -- what I meant is that this was my only thing near a risk, in that it was someone whom I didn't know the status of.

I have never had sex without a condom outside of a monogamous relationship where we both knew our status. (And that was only one person, years ago.)

I would never, ever, have unprotected intercourse when we didn't know both of our status.

I guess you can understand why, logically, the idea of a cut on a finger would scare most people -- because you hear about needle sticks transmitting HIV and the like.

This was just a nick - but it did hurt and was red when I got soap on it when washing my hands afterwards - so it was deep enough to get past the first layer of skin (like a paper cut or pinprick).   Don't white blood cells, etc, collect at the site of every cut that goes beyond the epidermis (dead skin cell layer) on your skin?

Granted, I didn't penetrate her with that finger.. maybe just rub the outside and put my thumb down there as I was gripping the base of the condom when withdrawing (as I always do)..

Great, now I sound like the droves of anxious folks on here.  Why does HIV cause so much anxiety? I don't think this way about HBV or syphillis or herpes, which I know are much more likely. Ok, thanks for the reply.. I'm not going to get stressed over this.

[Matty the Damned]

Why does HIV cause so much anxiety?

HIV has an enormous stigma attached to it. People with AIDS are often outcasts in our communities and I think it's that social opprobrium that people fear as much as the disease itself.

MtD

[questions100]

Hi... Please don't beat me up here for showing up again, but after a month, anxiety has gotten a hold of me finally. I didn't think of things for a while, until the following things started happening this week:

-White spot in the back of my throat
-Dizzyness, diarrhea
-General fatigue
-Sore throat
-One-time cloudy urine (3 days ago - hasn't happened again)
-Low-grade fever (99.1F)

This, and the fact that I talked to my general practicioner about the incident, and he told me that "the idea that oral sex is low risk is patently false." (I say this because oral was my only real exposure I can quantify -- since one-time intercourse was with a condom that did not break. I'm TRYING to accept this too and keep the ideas of "seepage / microscopic holes" out of my mind.)  Regardles, this scared the hell out of me, coming from a doctor I have trusted for years.

This girl has also taken it upon herself to e-mail me almost every couple days, telling me about new crazy sexual exploits she's had (why she does this, I don't know.. I told her I don't want to hear it..) -- and man, does it seem like she does some crazy stuff..

All this has gotten me worried again. I'm tempted to go test here at 4 weeks (31 days), just to help ease my mind a bit -- but that'd be pretty worthless, right?

[RapidRod]

Since you didn't have a risk, you could say it is worthless, unless you've had unprotected anal or vaginal sex in the past. Then it wouldn't be.

[KRBClapton]

A person's temperature can vary 1 to 2 degrees through the course of a day. A true fever is not considered a fever until it is 100 F or more for three days.

I hope that fact helps.

[RapidRod]

KRBClapton, please stay in your own thread. The information you gave is incorrect.  questions100, if you have a temp of 101 on up at any time you are considered to have a temp. If you get over 104 you can have seizures. 106 or higher can cause brain damage.

[Ann]

This, and the fact that I talked to my general practicioner about the incident, and he told me that "the idea that oral sex is low risk is patently false."

questions,

It sounds to me like your doctor hasn't read a transmission study since Hector was a pup. If you bothered to read the Welcome Thread and therefore the Transmission Lesson, you would have read that in studies where serodiscordant couples used condoms for anal or vaginal intercourse, but not for oral, not one, NOT ONE of the negative partners became infected. These studies have shown us that even more than being low risk, oral is virtually NO risk.

Many doctors - especially GPs - don't bother to keep up on hiv research and it sounds like your doc is one of them. NOT ONE person has ever become infected through getting a blowjob in over twenty five years of this pandemic and you certainly aren't going to be the first. You can tell your doc I said that too.

Ann