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Main Forums => Someone I Care About Has HIV => Topic started by: bd3197bd on April 02, 2009, 01:22:16 am

Title: Celebrate LIfe
Post by: bd3197bd on April 02, 2009, 01:22:16 am
Hi

My input for the column today is to "start living and celebrate life" that the Lord has given us.
I have been reading the stories that have been posted in this site and i thought to myself that we are forgetting to live because we are focussing on the illness. Much emphasis focusses on how to treat the HIV epidemic, which is a good thing don't get me wrong. But we are forgetting why we are here in this World, and we are also forgetting that we are not here to live forever and ever. We will all die at some point.

A person that i love and intend to marry is HIV +, not for one day have i thought about her being sick. I told myself that we are going to live and the Lord will take care of everything, for he has promised in his word.

Quote
2 Chronicles 7:14 (NIV)
if my people, who are called by my name, will humble themselves and pray
and seek my face and turn from their wicked ways, then will I hear from
heaven and will forgive their sin and will heal their land.

We don't know when will our time come, all that we have to do is to seek God's face and ask for forgiveness.

I hope this will motivate most of you.

 
Title: Re: Celebrate LIfe
Post by: Peter Staley on April 02, 2009, 12:25:00 pm
First off, welcome to our forums!  Glad you found us, and your partner is lucky to have you.

I'd be less than honest though if I said I found your message to be very motivational.  At the risk of opening a can or worms, but if I'm still alive only because of God's forgiveness, then it only follows that he decided to end the lives of over 25 million people with this virus because they didn't deserve his forgiveness.  He knocks off over a quarter million HIV+ babies every year.  I wonder what they did wrong.
Title: Re: Celebrate LIfe
Post by: Dachshund on April 02, 2009, 02:48:46 pm
I'm sure you mean well, but it doesn't motivate me one bit. People should not have to accept suffering and misery because it's written in some mythical book. You'll find in that same book that people should accept slavery because it is written in God's word.

As a homosexual I suggest you save your bible quotations for someone else.
Title: Re: Celebrate LIfe
Post by: xyahka on April 05, 2009, 12:22:01 am
Hi  bd3197bd

Welcome to the forums, so glad to read your optimistic approach towards this and so happy for your future partner :)

Thanks a lot for the nice words, feel free to keep on sharing your ideas with us :)

Cheers,

Juan Carlos
Title: Re: Celebrate LIfe
Post by: jampdx on April 05, 2009, 02:25:23 am
I wonder if this is just one of those people that log onto blogs, stir up stuff because they think it's funny, and sit back and watch.  I have been on a couple other online forums where people intentionally did that.

Good or not motivations, I find it less than motivational also.  I'm not anti-God, not even anti-Christian, but getting HIV is nothing that forgiveness needs to be asked for... it's not a bad person's disease.  That's like saying people with diabetes, cancer, congestive heart failure, anything that can be fatal... should be asking for forgiveness.
Title: Re: Celebrate LIfe
Post by: bd3197bd on April 06, 2009, 01:29:35 am
Hi

My intetion is not to stir up stuff with the intention of amusing myself. I think i understand were most of you come from. When i said we must ask for forgiveness i didn't mean that we have done something wrong to contract HIV, I think i am matured enough not to think like that. I'm aware that some people made wrong choices when contracting HIV, and some people didn't make these choices. Either way we have to look beyond the disease and stop judging each other.

If we can sit and worry ourself about the effects of HIV and not focussing on life, i am afraid that we will be depriving ourselves of the right to live, we must stay positive and focuss on living with the virus.
Is worring about the accidents that happens on our roads everyday or worring about the lives that are lost on our roads will stop the accidents from happening? I don't think so...
Lets worry about something that will be able change, lets teach each other the latest prevention tools, and be thankfull for waking up this day being able to live see another day.

If you beleive in Budha, Alla or any other supernatural being call upon ur God and ask him to fight this fight of HIV, Cancer and any epidamic that is attacking the human beings.
All that we will do is to live.

Have a Fab day!!!


 
Title: Re: Celebrate LIfe
Post by: Ann on April 06, 2009, 06:37:25 am
bd,

So what did  you mean when you said we must ask for forgiveness? Forgiveness for what?

I mean, I'm not perfect by any stretch of the imagination, but I don't consider myself a "sinner" either. If I've inadvertently hurt someone, I ask that person to forgive me, not some man-made concept of a deity. I believe most people are intrinsically good. I believe the "sinner" label is just that - a label, one used by power-hungry organised-religion clerics to keep a significant portion of the world's population under the thumb.

So again, I ask you, forgiveness for WHAT? For living my life to the best of my ability? I don't get it.

Ann
Title: Re: Celebrate LIfe
Post by: komnaes on April 06, 2009, 07:32:13 am
Quote
I'm aware that some people made wrong choices when contracting HIV, and some people didn't make these choices. Either way we have to look beyond the disease and stop judging each other.

To fit this contradiction in just two sentences does require a bit of mental contortion.

The only person or being or whatever I need to ask for, er, forgiveness is still myself. So when you said "we" have to ask for forgiveness from your god I am very prepared to accept that the "we" only means you and your future husband, right?

If so and if it pleases you go ahead and ask away my friend, ..

Shaun
Title: Re: Celebrate LIfe
Post by: U1195 on April 15, 2009, 05:10:10 am
bd,
Thanks for ur words of motivation. But not everyone here
has the joy u have at the moment or the same situation as u.
ur partner ist hiv+ and this ist quite different as when u yourself were
hiv+.I mean to say hiv- and hiv+ donot have necessarily the same
experience,joy or pain in life.
I think the people here are doing their best to handle the hiv+ status
Title: Re: Celebrate LIfe
Post by: bd3197bd on May 09, 2009, 01:43:25 am
Hi U1195 and Juan Carlos

Thank you guys for your words of encouragement and understanding.
U1195 you made me understand the complexity and the emotions of the people here at POZ.

It wasn't my intention to be offensive or to hurt the next person. I hope it is not too late to ask for forgiveness to everyone that i offended. PLEASE FORGIVE ME!!!!


Thanks

BD3197BD
Title: Re: Celebrate LIfe
Post by: positivmat on May 09, 2009, 07:42:40 am
Being a fugitive from Alabama who considers myself to have been saved by th Lord at 15 and removed to New York where I have lived for the past 28 years I think I get what you are saying but its unfortunate that you picked an old testament verse. But I think that it gets confusing here because here. Another christian perspective could be that christians are asked to "die" to each present moment as Christ did on the cross and take life as it is.

After spending a lifetime of trying to reconcile what that meant to me I prefer to use zen buddhism for extra help. Charlotte joko beck says:

"The Buddha is nothing but exactly what you are, right now:hearing the cars, feeling the pain in your legs, hearing my voice; that's the Buddha...Being what we are each moment means...fully being our anger when we are angry.  That kind of anger never hurts anybody because its total, complete. We really feel this anger, this knož in our stomach, and we are not going to hurt anybody with it. The kind of anger that hurts people is when we smile sweetly and underneath we're seething...Our practice has nothing to do with 'oh I should be good, I should be nice, I should be this...or that.' I am who I am right now. And that very state of being is the Buddha." 

Lord forgive me for not being in the here and now and allowing my ego to worry and wallow in my suffering because in doing so I forget the here and now which is the supreme gift you have given us when you died on the cross and Buddha gave us when He sat under the tree and all major religions seek to teach.

God Bless
Matt the sinner who often looks at the past and worries over the future
Title: Re: Celebrate LIfe
Post by: svlyas123 on June 08, 2009, 06:34:21 pm
As I read these posts what would you see the role of religion is in living with HIV?  If you do not see a place for religion in what ways do you find meaning and cope with the diagnosis?
Title: Re: Celebrate LIfe
Post by: positivmat on June 08, 2009, 09:47:56 pm
I feel that every event in my life has meaning in it.  Getting HIV for me was a huge wake up call that things needed to change and I wasn't addressing them.  Not that I feel that I deserved HIV or anyone does, but I do feel that this virus sort of picked me up and kicked my ass and is causing me to take a hard look at my life and change my overall outlook.

Strangely, I feel like I am more attuned to myself than I have been in years, sort of like a watershed event that is breaking me down so I can start over again.  If I didn't approach this virus like that, I would be wasting an opportunity to change the way I was.  I don't really see a place for the Catholic Church (the religion of my childhood), but I have been meditating and taking this opportunity to notice where my head is at and open up in new ways. 

What about you?
Matt
Title: Re: Celebrate LIfe
Post by: Stone on July 13, 2009, 07:16:17 pm
I'm aware that some people made wrong choices when contracting HIV, and some people didn't make these choices.

My negative status has nothing to do with choices and everything to do with luck.  I either was not exposed or did not acquire because Lord knows I took plenty of chances.  My brother and his partner (who has since passed) were not as lucky.  Although I still get angry sometimes that they acquired the virus and weren't more careful, I just examine my own past behavior and promptly get off the soap box.     
Title: Re: Celebrate LIfe
Post by: motherinneed on August 05, 2009, 07:39:47 am
I admire your faith. Sometimes I lose hope. I will keep your post in mind.
God Bless you. Yes whatever the illness, one should live as a person,not an illness.
This is the only place where when I speak about my son he remains a person. If I were to speak of my son other places he would be viewed as an illness. It makes me sad that if he had cancer people would have sympathy and give support, but with HIV there is still an ignorant stigma. This site is a God Send as everyone remains a person here. Keep your faith and keep helping others keep their faith.
Sincerely and God Bless
motherinneed
Title: Re: Celebrate LIfe
Post by: azgirl on September 15, 2009, 01:52:46 pm
I agree that having Faith is very important. In my relationship with my HIV+ fiancee faith is what keeps me strong. I know in my heart that God brought us together and for me to take care of my fiance.

We went to Jr. High together. I moved when I was 15. I always loved him even though we never dated. He was just THE GUY I always wanted to meet and be re-introduced with. I had the biggest secret crush on him and no one else even came close. Whenever I would visit the town I knew him from I'd ask after him. I looked for him on the internet. We had the 30 year reunion coming up and I saw his name and where he was living. I looked him up but only forund his sister in law. I was just about to call her when I saw his name on classmates.com! I wrote him and we started talking and the sparks flew from the first call! We fell in love. Deeply and completely. More than I have ever felt for anyone ever. He was the one that said "I love you" to me first.

Then he told me his status. I felt so bad for him. I told him I didn't care. It's just a virus. I asked God to take away my fear and hesitation and doubt and when I did that a peace came over me and I knew that God had brought us together and we can face any challenges life gives us together.

We are buying a house and getting married soon. There is no one and nowhere I would rather be than with him. I'm going to take good care of him so we will have a long and healthy life together.

I thank God everyday for giving me a life and love from this very special man.