i am really scare...i feel like suicide...

[suicideguy]

Please help me out... here is my encounter...

on the 7 Aug 2010, for the first time of my life, i went to visit a commercial sex worker in a brothel in  Singapore red light district. To be precise, is a thai girl. We had protected sex and oral.

However....this is the worrying part....

okie. i got naked and lie on the bed, she got fully naked too. she press her whole body on top of me, kissing and licking my neck.... i am sure that my unprotected penis was pressing against her virgina at the same time too!! i am really really worrying about this now... i am uncircumcised and want to know, if she is wet, will her fluid infect me via the mucous membrane on my foreskin when my penis press against her outer virgina???....

i am can't concentrate in everything i do now...i can't concentrate to work or study...i lose all my direction and motivation in life...the thought of death from HIV is inside my head so bad...

please advise me....should i get tested?....thanks in advance...

[Ann]

Guy,

You need to relax and relax right now. It would be rather silly for you to kill yourself when you did NOT have a risk for hiv infection.

What you describe is sometimes called frottage. Frottage is the name for when people rub genitals together without any penetration taking place. Frottage is NOT a risk for hiv infection. Never has been, never will be.

You did the right thing and used a condom for intercourse. That's all you need to do in order to protect yourself. Condoms have been proven to prevent hiv infection.

Getting a blowjob, with or without a condom, is not a risk for hiv infection. Not one person has ever been infected through getting blown or through frottage and you won't be the first.

Here's what you need to know in order to remain hiv negative:

You need to be using condoms for anal or vaginal intercourse, every time, no exceptions until such time as you are in a securely monogamous relationship where you have both tested for ALL sexually transmitted infections together.

To agree to have unprotected intercourse is to consent to the possibility of being infected with an STI. Sex without a condom lasts only a matter of minutes, but hiv is forever.

Have a look through the condom and lube links in my signature line so you can use condoms with confidence.

ALTHOUGH YOU DO NOT NEED TO TEST OVER THIS SPECIFIC INCIDENT, anyone who is sexually active should be having a full sexual health care check-up, including but not limited to hiv testing, at least once a year and more often if unprotected intercourse occurs.

If you aren't already having regular, routine check-ups, now is the time to start. As long as you make sure condoms are being used for intercourse, you can fully expect your routine hiv tests to return with negative results.

Don't forget to always get checked for all the other sexually transmitted infections as well, because they are MUCH easier to transmit than hiv.

Use condoms for anal or vaginal intercourse, correctly and consistently, and you will avoid hiv infection. It really is that simple!

Ann

[suicideguy]

good day ann,

thank you for your fast reply...however its not the blow job that i am scare of...as i had a condom on during the blow job...its the part when she press her body on me and the contact of my penis with her wet virgina that is really freaking me out.....

[RapidRod]

It takes unprotected penetrative sex to transmit HIV. Frottage is not penetrative sex. You did not have a risk. Take the time and read the transmission lessons. You can find the link in the Welcome Thread.

[Ann]

Guy,

I addressed your concern about your contact with the outside of her vagina. I told you that is commonly called frottage. Frottage is NOT a risk for hiv infection.

You did not have a risk for hiv infection in any of the activities you describe, so relax already.

Ann

[suicideguy]

thanks rapidrod and ann again,

so there is no chance at all and i do not require any testing. can i now safely say this now??

[Andy Velez]

Absolutely nothing you have reported has put you at risk for HIV transmission. There's no need for testing nor for further concern on your part.

Get on with your life. Happily HIV is not a problem for you and if you consistently use condoms for vaginal and anal intercourse then you will be well protected against sexual transmission of the virus.

[suicideguy]

i really really appreciate the replies you guys have given to me...now whenever i get worried...i will look through this thread....but i just cant stop myself from thinking that i might be infected... i still cant work..sleep and eat well....i have messed up my life...

[Andy Velez]

Fortunately doubts, fears and thoughts are not facts. And the facts as you have reported them of your experience clearly equal NO RISK.

Take a breath and get on with your life.

[suicideguy]

So does this means i can confidently not get tested?

[Ann]

Guy,

As I told you in my first reply to you...


ALTHOUGH YOU DO NOT NEED TO TEST OVER THIS SPECIFIC INCIDENT, anyone who is sexually active should be having a full sexual health care check-up, including but not limited to hiv testing, at least once a year and more often if unprotected intercourse occurs.

If you aren't already having regular, routine check-ups, now is the time to start. As long as you make sure condoms are being used for intercourse, you can fully expect your routine hiv tests to return with negative results.

Don't forget to always get checked for all the other sexually transmitted infections as well, because they are MUCH easier to transmit than hiv.

Ann

[suicideguy]

Guys i know that you guys have been telling me that there is no risk of hiv...however i am stiok thinking about the incident.... 19 days have past since the exposure... may i get tested now or should i wait the 30 days mark? The centre in singapore is using the finger pricking method to test for hiv....please advice...

[Ann]

guy,

Where there has been a real risk - YOU HAVE NOT HAD A RISK - six week is the earliest one should test as the vast majority of people who have actually been infected will seroconvert by this time. A six week negative must be confirmed at the three month point, WHERE THERE HAS BEEN AN ACTUAL RISK.

YOU DID NOT HAVE A RISK. You can test at any time to receive a conclusive result.

If you read the Welcome Thread before posting like you're supposed to, you will have read the following posting guideline:

Anyone who continues to post excessively, questioning a conclusive negative result or no-risk situation, will be subject to a four week Time Out (a temporary ban from the Forums). If you continue to post excessively after one Time Out, you may be given a second Time Out which will last eight weeks. There is no third Time Out - it is a permanent ban. The purpose of a Time Out is to encourage you to seek the face-to-face help we cannot provide on this forum.

Please consider yourself warned!

Ann

[suicideguy]

hi all... i did a test today, on the 32nd day after exposure. the test method is the finger pricking type. result after 15 mins.

it turned out negative. the counselor advice me to return 2 months later for confirmation...is there really a need based on my exposure?...

[Ann]

Guy,

Do you need to confirm? You've been told no less than seven times in this thread that you had no risk. You have also been warned that if you kept coming back over this NO RISK situation, you'd be given a time out.

So NO, you don't need to confirm. You are reliably hiv negative.

Ann

[suicideguy]

hi ann... i know that i am a bugger... i not trying to get a time out or something.. however, recently i start to develop red spots... its not dark red in color. a slight bump on redness... doesn't itch. they grow on my inner elbow on both arm... here is the picture of it...any idea what it is?

[Ann]

guy,

We cannot diagnose your spots over the internet.

What we CAN tell you is this - whatever your spots are, they have nothing to do with hiv. Not only did you not have a risk, but you also have a conclusive negative result.

I'm giving you that time out you've been warned about. Do not attempt to create a new account to get around your time out because if you do, you will be permanently banned.

Ann