POZ Community Forums

HIV Prevention and Testing => Do I Have HIV? => Topic started by: chrisc on June 05, 2006, 09:19:08 pm

Title: Questions?
Post by: chrisc on June 05, 2006, 09:19:08 pm
Seven years ago I had a strip club incident.  I sucked on pierced nipple.  Girl said recently done, don't know how long.  Didn't see blood or breast milk.  May have had a cracked tooth or missing tooth in back of mouth.  touched crotch, may have had contact vag fluid. Lesson sections, says sore, cuts, abrasions.  Didn't think to much at the time.  seven years later, gained 70lbs and 2 years ago was dianosed of Diabetes and have reoccuring ear infections.  Found out in March that my wife had an unsafe affair in January.  have mutiple times with my wife.  Don't know which is scarier.  In May I started to think about it.  Scared crapless.  I have no job or insurance.  I have a house with equity.  In May, my lymph nodes starting swelling and my hands are sweaty.  Don't know what to do!
Title: Re: Questions?
Post by: Andy Velez on June 05, 2006, 09:24:54 pm
Nothing you are reporting in the way of symptoms is in anyway suggestive of HIV. Nor were you at risk for HIV in that nipple sucking incident from years ago.

However, since your wife has had unprotected intercourse she should get tested. And until such time as she tests negative you should be using condoms everytime you have intercourse. To ease your own mind about the issue I also suggest that you get tested. That way whether your wife is willing to get tested or not, you will reliably known your own status.

Nothing you are reporting suggests to me that you should expect anything other than a negative result. You should get tested at 13 weeks past the most recently unprotected incident.

As for your symptoms, discuss them with your doctor. We can't diagnose them here.

Cheers,
Title: Re: Questions?
Post by: chrisc on June 05, 2006, 09:34:25 pm
every place i call says it could be posible dont understand
Title: Re: Questions?
Post by: Matty the Damned on June 05, 2006, 09:38:12 pm
Chris,

Trust us. You don't have to worry about HIV. As Andy says nothing you report indicates any risk. Please read our lessons. The link is the upper left hand corner of the page.

MtD
Title: Re: Questions?
Post by: chrisc on June 05, 2006, 09:56:43 pm
what if there was blood or breast milk read lesson section dont understand or poss cut on finger every call i make says poss do u think i would have known by now with all this stess lost 85 pds sugar level good refux gone etc adhap listed many meds i took while severly overweight very confused seems like what just happened not as scary as 7years ago would have more time
Title: Re: Questions?
Post by: Matty the Damned on June 05, 2006, 10:02:41 pm
what if there was blood or breast milk read lesson section dont understand or poss cut on finger every call i make says poss do u think i would have known by now with all this stess lost 85 pds sugar level good refux gone etc adhap listed many meds i took while severly overweight very confused seems like what just happened not as scary as 7years ago would have more time

Look doll,

Here's what YOU need to know.

HIV is transmitted through unprotected anal and/or vaginal sex. It's also transmitted through sharing contaminated injecting equipment. Wear codoms and use clean needles and you'll be fine.

Cut fingers and toes, breast milk, sweat, saliva etc. don't mean squat in terms of HIV for you, ok?

MtD
Title: Re: Questions?
Post by: chrisc on June 05, 2006, 10:14:00 pm
yeah had been tested 11yrs ago never thought would be here again always feared this would happen why do all the places i call say poss and what to do if had this all the time untreated seems like the end i know that sounds crazy ive been trying to find out about how to get treatment if test went bad ohio has programs but with the house and small business looks bad i have read alot about all the new meds but dont know if i would qualify
Title: Re: Questions?
Post by: Matty the Damned on June 05, 2006, 10:17:06 pm
yeah had been tested 11yrs ago never thought would be here again always feared this would happen why do all the places i call say poss and what to do if had this all the time untreated seems like the end i know that sounds crazy ive been trying to find out about how to get treatment if test went bad ohio has programs but with the house and small business looks bad i have read alot about all the new meds but dont know if i would qualify

Honey,

I can't see why you're obsessing about being positive. I really can't. We've told you that nothing you described sounds like a risk for HIV, but you don't seem to be hearing us.

If you need counselling see a mental health professional. That sort of support is beyond our bailiwick. You're wasting your own time and ours.

MtD
Title: Re: Questions?
Post by: chrisc on June 05, 2006, 10:19:08 pm
thank you i do value your time
Title: Re: Questions?
Post by: Andy Velez on June 06, 2006, 07:50:29 am
Chris, you keep getting caught up in details that your mind is churning up. It seems as if you aren't getting what has been said to you.

There's a simple solution to the HIV part of your diilemma. Get tested. Hopefully the inevitable negative test result will convince you that all of your nicks, nipples and whatever else your mind is using to scare you with has no basis in HIV science.

And make sure that you are using latex condoms for intercourse until your wife gets a  negative test result.

That's the deal.
Title: Re: Questions?
Post by: chrisc on June 08, 2006, 10:33:54 am
i still seem very worried about what happened 7 yrs ago i know i am using condoms now but had already been with my wife many times i know its a whatif quetion but if i did have it a this time would it be to late
Title: Re: Questions?
Post by: chrisc on June 08, 2006, 10:45:29 am
i meant to say all this time meaing 7 yrs
Title: Re: Questions?
Post by: Ann on June 08, 2006, 12:01:20 pm
Chris,

You won't become infected through sucking on a nipple, pierced or not pierced. If you really need to test to put your mind to rest, by all means do so. Just don't be surprised when you get a negative result.

Ann
Title: Re: Questions?
Post by: chrisc on June 08, 2006, 02:02:09 pm
one last quesition i think i know the answer dont know about cut on testiesand always used trojan and durex condoms never have used or seen lambskin and have never to my knowledge had failure if failure accurs would i know it and in some ways this all seems silly because i was with my wife 30 40 times after her unprotected events so i know i have to test  but it seems like fear of the past giving smaller time frames bothers me i think i said earlier i have no healthcare as i lost my job in jan what would i do if hers and my results are not what we hope for can i still get to the best care ohio doest seem to have that many cases comaprativly and how to find good qualfied doctor this seems to be the only place i have found any info i kept calling hotlines but got ansmachines cdc didnt have much to say
Title: Re: Questions?
Post by: Andy Velez on June 08, 2006, 04:45:19 pm
Whooooooooaaaaaa!

You're jumping so far ahead of yourself. How about taking some good deep and slow breaths in right now and letting them out. I'm not kidding. Do it! And do it everytime your mind starts racing with this totally unfounded concern about HIV.

Being without medical insurance is certainly an understandable concern these days, but you are pole vaulting to expecting a positive HIV test result when you were never at risk to begin with. You need to ease up, man. I am not kidding.

How many ways and times do you have to be told you weren't at risk?

Collect your negative result and get on with your life.
Title: Re: Questions?
Post by: chrisc on June 08, 2006, 05:58:22 pm
thanks andy like everyone trying to sort it all out but still have to test because was with wife that had unsafe events and was with her unprotected  many times before i found out about affair and since the other party was unsafe with her scares me about his habits but thanks for all the advice just scared like all the rest i guess
Title: Re: Questions?
Post by: chrisc on June 09, 2006, 02:05:59 pm
whats this piggy back statment if someone can give hepatitus would hiv come with it like somhow be in the hep virus or other std
Title: Re: Questions?
Post by: Andy Velez on June 09, 2006, 05:29:25 pm
You're just jumbling a whole bunch of things together. More what ifs and speculation that just feed your anxiety.

Work on using your time productively. Get your test at the proper time, collect a negative, get on with your life and use condoms with your wife until her status is resolved and the relationship securely monogamous.

That's the deal.

Title: Re: Questions?
Post by: chrisc on June 17, 2006, 09:14:53 pm
Andy an Ann been a week cant seem to get it straight no guts for a test i know you say i had no risk but i am still scared to test like if somehow i had it all 7yrs it would be to late to treat and with my diabetes if i just got it from what my wif did i be screwed to been to mental health center everyone just says no big deal take the test they gave me serquel and xanxax but it doesnt help cant take this much longer i keep running the scene through to figure was it possible or is this what caused my diabetes or was it just the fact  i was severly overweight
Title: Re: Questions?
Post by: Matty the Damned on June 17, 2006, 09:39:55 pm
Andy an Ann been a week cant seem to get it straight no guts for a test i know you say i had no risk but i am still scared to test like if somehow i had it all 7yrs it would be to late to treat and with my diabetes if i just got it from what my wif did i be screwed to been to mental health center everyone just says no big deal take the test they gave me serquel and xanxax but it doesnt help cant take this much longer i keep running the scene through to figure was it possible or is this what caused my diabetes or was it just the fact  i was severly overweight

Chris,

Calm down babe. As Andy Velez has often remarked in the past, you don't need to have guts to get an HIV test. It's quite possible to go in and have it done with your legs a-tremblin' and fear gripping your heart. Given that you've had no risk, there's no need for terror at all.

Now honey, I don't understand what diabetes or your former weight problem have to do with any of this, but such things will not have any impact on the reliability of an HIV antibody test. My advice to you would be to keep up seeing the people at the Mental Health Centre.

Oh and read our fabulous Welcome Thread (http://forums.poz.com/index.php?topic=220.0). If you've already looked over it, do so again.

MtD
Title: Re: Questions?
Post by: chrisc on June 17, 2006, 10:16:36 pm
Matty i love hearing from you your replies make me smile something i havent been doing lately but walking in to a room and someone giving that kind of news turns me to horror i had diabetes high blood pressure reflux panic attacks high stress job and laughed at it all but this one scares the crap out of me i keep reading the clinical trials to see if i would have some chance to keep going the weird thing is when i lost weight after i found out about the affair my wife had i felt physically fine  then it hit me she took a risk then of course remembered my incident and you know the rest i got swollen glands you name it i heard of the things people have done  like coming off meds to see if they were cured man what guts that takes i used to think i was strong but i obviously am a coward and just cant think of what to do if test comes up not in my favor
Title: Re: Questions?
Post by: HIVworker on June 17, 2006, 10:44:13 pm
When you cross a street, do you think of what it is like to be dragged under a bus? Given the likelyhood that you will get a positive result is 1000x smaller odds, I had to ask...

Stop dealing with "What it might be like" and deal with the reality. You have two choices.

1) Worry about it for the rest of your life
2) Begin living now with a negative result

R
Title: Re: Questions?
Post by: chrisc on June 17, 2006, 11:22:18 pm
i have been thinking just like that lately but what my wife did was definitely unsafe and i was with her many times before i found out about it i am not totally versed on this subject but i know every where i call says both incident's are possible risks  and i am now scared to live and scared to die 7 years seems like with everything i read i would be in pretty bad shape i have never known any one who has had this before to my knowledge but what I've read on line is pretty scary i felt pretty good physically until i started to read and right now without ins i just wonder what kind of care would i be able to get and since i would be mentally wreaked what would i do Ohio just doesn't seem like the best state for treatment but then again i wouldn't even know if the doctor would know what he was doing and i read the more experience the better care like drug resistance issues and such
Title: Re: Questions?
Post by: HIVworker on June 17, 2006, 11:27:26 pm
Good job on avoiding the issue and carrying on worrying about the consequences of HIV infection!

Way to Go!!!

I look forward to another 100 posts on the topic (that I won't read).

Get tested and be done with it.

Goodbye.

R
Title: Re: Questions?
Post by: jkinatl2 on June 17, 2006, 11:34:07 pm
Thanks, HIVWorker. My feelings exactly.

Title: Re: Questions?
Post by: chrisc on June 17, 2006, 11:38:20 pm
im sorry did not mean to upset anyone i wont write anymore
Title: Re: Questions?
Post by: Matty the Damned on June 18, 2006, 12:09:25 am
im sorry did not mean to upset anyone i wont write anymore

Good idea sweetie. It's the writing that's the problem. You do need to stop writing. You need to start reading. Reading the responses you receive to your questions (we don't do this to see our names up in lights you know), reading our All Singing All Dancing Welcome Thread (http://forums.poz.com/index.php?topic=220.0).

You need to listen to the people at the mental health centre and you need to talk with your wife. I have to tell you Chris, there really isn't anything more that we here can do for you.

Now go, start reading and listening. Matty the Damned commands you. ;)

MtD
Title: Re: Questions?
Post by: chrisc on June 18, 2006, 12:24:00 am
thanks Matty i do appreciate the advice and all others for your time and advice
Title: Re: Questions?
Post by: chrisc on July 19, 2006, 09:09:02 pm
hey all  took the oraquik test it was neg i took the test july 17 my last  unprotected expousu re to my wife was may 11  i am concerned about something the lady said about window periods also my wife tested on June 29 ihave a copy of the her test that was neg she said last time she was with someone  was feb 9 but who knows should i test again i cant seem to shake this fear also thanks for all the good advice before i really appreciate it
Title: Re: Questions?
Post by: Ann on July 20, 2006, 05:49:45 am
Chris,

Both you and your wife have conclusively tested negative for hiv. Neither of you need further testing.

Ann
Title: Re: Questions?
Post by: chrisc on July 20, 2006, 04:00:25 pm
Ann please explain i read the pamphlet and it said the test might not pickup antibodies if recently infected also read something about if had it along time might not pick it up can you explain
Title: Re: Questions?
Post by: Ann on July 21, 2006, 05:22:35 am
chris,

Recently infected means in the past few weeks. The vast majority who have actually been infected will seroconvert and test positive by six weeks, with the average time to seroconversion being only 22 days - three weeks.

A person who has been infected a long time and is no longer producing antibodies, is a person on their deathbed. It is  rare that someone stops producing hiv antibodies, and that person is always very near death. Are you? Didn't think so.

Your wife is hiv negative after her affair in February and you are hiv negative after your incident seven years ago. You are BOTH hiv negative. Period, end of story.

If you cannot accept your negative status, please seek the assistance of a mental health care professional - maybe together with your wife. You are not infected with hiv and there is nothing more we can do for you here. It's time for you to move on.

Ann
Title: Re: Questions?
Post by: chrisc on July 22, 2006, 05:21:48 pm
thanks for the advice my concern wasi read it does not matter what your partner says its up to you to test yourself and my last expousure was 8.5 wks and the lesson site said 13 wks i also have one other question can hiv be transmitted by lancets as i am diabetic and have a reuseable lancet my kids have played with did not see anything about how long hiv can live outside the body     
Title: Re: Questions?
Post by: Morgan on July 22, 2006, 06:04:06 pm
Chrisc,

If you shared your lancet in rapid succession with an hiv positive person many times over it would still be difficult to become infected.  A lancet is not a hollow bore needle, and because of its speed, it comes away with little, if any, blood which almost immediately degrades to a non-infectious state.

Morgan
Title: Re: Questions?
Post by: chrisc on July 22, 2006, 06:10:57 pm
thanks for the lancet answer anything on the 8.5 wk question
Title: Re: Questions?
Post by: Morgan on July 22, 2006, 06:19:28 pm
What 8.5 week question??
Title: Re: Questions?
Post by: chrisc on July 22, 2006, 06:26:00 pm
the test result at 8.5 wks the pamplet and the lesson site say 13wks
Title: Re: Questions?
Post by: Morgan on July 22, 2006, 06:32:44 pm
Chrisc,

Your window was widened by the fact that your wife's last risk was in Feb. which she has subsequently tested negative for.

You are conclusively hiv negative.

P.S. Question's are customarily followed by question marks. OK??  :)

Morgan
Title: Re: Questions?
Post by: chrisc on July 26, 2006, 04:32:38 pm
does anyone know how long blood can be infectious outside the body?
Title: Re: Questions?
Post by: chrisc on July 26, 2006, 05:50:07 pm
also since im here i want to ask why would an ijection needle be a danger but blood droplets on a lancet would not be pleaqse explain
Title: Re: Questions?
Post by: Morgan on July 26, 2006, 09:12:18 pm
Chrisc,

<<How long does blood remain infectious outside the body?>>

<<Why would an injection needle be a danger but blood droplets on a lancet would not be?>>

That would be difficult to quantify.  It would be subject to a number of variables not the least of which is quantity.

The quantity of blood on the end of a lancet would just about be microscopic and, because of the unprotected nature of the physical structure of the lancet, it would almost immediately lose viability to infect.

Because of the enclosed nature of a hollow bore needle, a much larger quantity of blood is protected from the environment inside the needle, and remains viable longer and can subsequently be injected into someone else.

Morgan


Edited for spelling
Title: Re: Questions?
Post by: chrisc on July 26, 2006, 11:03:18 pm
Morgan thank you very much!!!!!!! i seem hyper sensitive  but I'm trying to be sure i don't have to worry anymore i had not been active with anyone other than my wife for 12 years i used to be very unsafe and thought her knowing my fear would never put me through this but here i am counting weeks and worrying about lancets and crazy nurses
Title: Re: Questions?
Post by: chrisc on July 29, 2006, 03:58:29 pm
thanks to all who have responded to my questions your info has helped so much my wife is neg and so am i is it common for people to be scared of the testing site possibly being infected on purpose and is there any science to say that blood on a lancet could not infect i am seriously trying to put this concern to rest once and for all thanks
Title: Re: Questions?
Post by: Morgan on July 29, 2006, 04:20:39 pm
Chris,

Quote
is it common for people to be scared of the testing site possibly being infected on purpose?

There are people with irrational fears about anything you can think of.  I recently saw a woman who was petrified of pickles.  Getting one near her was like dropping a tarantula down her shirt.

I submit that if you can't put this concern behind you with the information you've been provided, you never will.

But congratulations on your negative status.

Morgan
Title: Re: Questions?
Post by: chrisc on July 29, 2006, 05:03:00 pm
Morgan thank you so much for your input  i  would just like to thank every single person who has given there replies hopefully i will work my way back through my fears and be ok again but it is nice to know there are caring people in the world who care about others enough to give there time and knowledge thanks again