Shouldnt have been a risk - but have been so unwell

[PhilS]

Hi There,

A few weeks back I had sex over a couple of days with a number of CSWs in Asia.  On each occasion I received unprotected oral and then had vaginal sex with a condom.  I had owned the condoms for a while (durex extra safe) but they had been stored correctly and were within their expiry date. On no occasion did the condoms break. 

I left each experience confident that I shouldn’t / didn’t have a risk.

I understand that HIV is a fragile virus, that conditions need to be right and that transmission to the insertive partner is more difficult (especially as my penis was covered for each occasion of penetrative sex). 

However, on the 5th day (after the 1st girl) I began to develop a sore throat and had difficulty swallowing and by the 6th day I developed a high fever.  On the 7th day I flew home and immediately went to see my doctor.  He noted that I had a fever of 38C (and by then I felt better than the day before) and that my tonsils where enlarged (Pharyngitis).  Its been a very long time (maybe childhood) since I has such throat pain.   I continued to feel unwell for a few days (also had diarrhoea on the 10th and 11th days and developped pains across the lower back – Liver inflammation type pain).  It took well over a week for the sore throat and general unwell feeing to ease (still have the lower back inflammation type pain). 

I notice on the forum that it is often quoted that the average time to seroconversion is 22 days but does this mean the time when antibodies become detectable (therefore the person has been ill leading up to this period) or this is the time when the person begins to develop the initial symptoms.  I think it is the former meaning that my “symptoms” appeared in the correct timeframe.

I know that you should review the risk and not the symptoms but the fact that I had recently had the flu in January and then I had the sudden onset of these (strong) symptoms just caused me to think oh no, am I in trouble.

I did notice that the first girl had a persistent dry cough and it made me think that if she was HIV+ then I suspect that due to where I was in the world, that she wouldn’t have had access to ARV medication and therefore may have had a higher viral load which could have been the only increased risk factor should I have been exposed – which I shouldn’t have been.  I do however keep seeing the odd post on various forums where people are adamant that they have never had unprotected sex yet claim to have contracted the virus…….in my case would an older condom (although still ‘in date’ have caused any areas for concern – loss of elasticity reducing barrier effectiveness….etc).

It is now 18 days since the first girl and I won’t be able to get access to a test for another few weeks but I keep telling myself that it shouldn’t be necessary and from my description in the first paragraph I’m sure that you’ll agree.  But god I’ve been so unwell with what I hope to be coincidental symptoms. 

I read back through the above and just hope that I’m overreacting to something else which genuinely caused me to be really ill over the last two weeks.

I do see that you get all sorts of irrational and unwarranted posts on the forum and i'm hoping that I can be added to the same list....

Phil

[Ann]

Phil,

You didn't have a risk. If you feel unwell, go see a doctor. Whatever is going on has nothing to do with hiv.

Here's what you need to know in order to avoid hiv infection:

You need to be using condoms for anal or vaginal intercourse, every time, no exceptions until such time as you are in a securely monogamous relationship where you have both tested for ALL sexually transmitted infections together.

To agree to have unprotected intercourse is to consent to the possibility of being infected with an STI. Sex without a condom lasts only a matter of minutes, but hiv is forever.

Have a look through the condom and lube links in my signature line so you can use condoms with confidence.

ALTHOUGH YOU DO NOT NEED TO TEST FOR HIV SPECIFICALLY FOLLOWING ORAL OR PROTECTED INTERCOURSE, anyone who is sexually active should be having a full sexual health care check-up, including but not limited to hiv testing, at least once a year and more often if unprotected intercourse occurs.

If you aren't already having regular, routine check-ups, now is the time to start. As long as you make sure condoms are being used for intercourse, you can fully expect your routine hiv tests to return with negative results.

Don't forget to always get checked for all the other sexually transmitted infections as well, because they are MUCH easier to transmit than hiv. Some of the other STIs can be present with no obvious symptoms, so the only way to know for sure is to test.

Use condoms for anal or vaginal intercourse, correctly and consistently, and you will avoid hiv infection. It really is that simple!

Ann

[PhilS]

Ann,

Thank you so much for taking the time to read my post and for getting back to me.

I almost didn’t post in the first place as I do recognise that my encounters should be no risk and as I said, I left each occasion comfortable that my condom stayed intact for penetrative sex.  In my case, I didn’t sleep with some women then suddenly start having irrational thoughts about exposure which then drove a suite of symptoms.  I was content that I was protected but then 5 days after the first girl (who looking back did seem unwell at the time) I came down with the sore throat and one hell of a fever and it made me consider my previous week and whether something could have gone wrong.

I keep replaying the scenarios and still believe that I shouldn’t have had a risk. 
I wasn’t drunk so I do recall the occasion well.  Yes I had owned the condom for maybe a couple of years but it was well within its expiry date (2017) and had been stored in a dark dry place.  Although I must admit (and I have since checked the others which seem to be similar) it did seem to have lost some of its elasticity / tightness compared to newer condoms – but this shouldn’t make it any more penetrable for a virus?  It didn’t break and it did stay on. I also used lube (which I neglected to add in my first post) which further reduces risk of a break.  The condom should have been fine as a barrier!

We both showered before sex and I showered and washed again immediately after.

It is however, a long time since I have been so unwell so suddenly.  The fevers only lasted a couple of days but the sore throat is still here plus the internal back / stomach and eye pain are as strong as last week (now two weeks of illness).  The diarrhoea seems to also fluctuate.  Don’t think I can ever remember a sore throat and inflamed tonsils like this before.

Notwithstanding that I shouldn’t have had a risk, I suppose another thing that can help me write off HIV infection is how my symptoms didn’t all come and go at once and that certain ones seem to have stayed longer than others.  Grateful if you could confirm my understanding as I was under the impression that for seroconversion illness, the symptoms typically all hit at once then go together and that certain ones don’t typically linger with differing levels of severity on a day to day basis like my own.

I am not thinking that I am unique or different, I suppose its just that 1% part of my brain that keeps asking me if I have been unlucky somehow.

Sorry to be a pain and thankyou for having patience with me
Phil

[Jeff G]

As Ann advised you did not have a risk for HIV in this encounter so if you are unwell its best to go see your doctor .

Condoms are design so that if they fail there is no doubt so you would have known if it broke and is not a factor in this assessment .

We can not discuss symptoms because they tell you very little and they are also symptoms of many other conditions that have nothing to do with HIV .

If you are uneasy and cant accept the facts that you did not have a risk for HIV then your option is to test at 6 weeks past any possible exposure and again at 3 months to confirm it . There is no need to test over this specific incident so if you do so its for peace of mind only .