Lost and alone

[newinuny]

I just tested hiv positive yesterday. It's been about a month since my risk of exposure and I'm already showing symptoms; runny nose, rash on my arm. I'm finding it extremely hard to wait for the conclusive results because I know what they will be. I told one close friend and they were very supportive. I still have yet to tell my family and mustering up the courage is difficult right now. I can't believe I was so naive to let this happen to me.

I've been scared about my future in the past and now it's completely uncertain. I've been going through a whirlwind of emotions these past 21 hours. I'm a little on the edge considering that I'm 23 with not much going for me. To put this on top of everything makes matters much worse given my situation. I feel I have truly met my maker.

[Ann]

New, if you've only had a rapid test return a positive result, you need to hang on and wait for the results of your confirmatory testing. You need to be tested using a Western Blot test and only if that also comes back positive will you be considered to be diagnosed with hiv.

False positive results can and do happen. This is why you need to have the initial result confirmed.

Neither symptoms nor the lack of symptoms will ever tell you a single thing about your hiv status. Your symptoms could be coincidental. You really need to have the confirmatory testing done.

Good luck and keep us posted. Until you've had confirmation of your status one way or the other, I would appreciate it if you did not post anywhere other than this thread. Thank you for your cooperation.

Hang in there and try to relax.

Ann

[newinuny]

I am still waiting on the results of my WB but I am sure that they will read positive as false positives are very rare. I ALWAYS use a condom. I did have oral a few weeks ago and symptoms start between 4 to 6 weeks.

[Ann]

New, false positives aren't all that rare at all - particularly on rapid tests. That's why WB testing must be done before one can consider themselves to be hiv positive.

If you got a blowjob, then it most certainly is a false positive as hiv is not transmitted that way.

If you gave a blowjob, it's still quite likely to be a false positive as transmission this way is exceedingly rare. If the guy had a huge viral load and you don't have the best oral health, or if you have a pre-existing, untreated oral STI, then you may have been one of the very unlucky, minuscule minority to have been infected this way. A false positive is more likely. Or perhaps a broken condom when you were the receptive (intercourse) partner that you weren't aware of.

Good luck either way. Keep us posted. Hopefully you've had a false result.

Ann

[newinuny]

3/1/12 diagnosed HIV+
Seeing a doctor today for my acute symptoms. I guess I'm part of the minority to have been infected this way. I feel very ashamed of my self which I suspect is common at this point. Very long road ahead of me.

[Themepark]

Dear New

I am so sorry that the result turned out this way. None of us has planned it to happen but thing has happened. I don't have many recommendations for you as I am also new into this status and still trying to find my own way to cope with it. Take it as a journey thu, learning about this virus might help you overcome your fear......

Life can still be beautiful, in some way.

[TexasPOZ]

So sorry to hear that you tested positive. I remember all the emotions I experienced when I first found out that I had HIV. I still get sad about it once in a while. The important thing to know, is that HIV is no longer the death sentence that it once was. With the medicines available today, it is highly likely that you will live a long and healthy life. I believe that scientists will discover a cure in our lifetime as well. Allow yourself to feel your emotions and realize everything you're feeling is completely normal. Do some research and find out everything you can about taking care of yourself. Keep a positive attitude. Find supportive people who you can talk to. Make the most of each and every day. Know that you are not alone. We have been there. And we will be there for you. Take care, best wishes, and God bless.