I am really worried, please help!

[Andy_80]

Hi!

I am really worried! Last weekend I went to a strip club and ordered a private show. I was really drunk and do not know exactly what happened and in which order. I know for sure that I never took of my pants and my mouth was never in direct contact with her clitoris.

I remember that she touched herself and immediately after that she put her finger in my mouth. Her nail may have scratched something inside my mouth. Was there enough time for the virus to die during this short time when her finger came out of the clitoris and went into my mouth?

She licked my eye for some time. Before this she had probably put her own fingers in her mouth so her fluids have probably gotten into my eye.

She also tongue kissed me. I understood from other posts that kissing is not risky, but I mention it here anyway, since she may have scratched me inside the mouth before.

I also want to mention that my mouth was probably not in good condition, since I had been drinking a lot of whisky that day and smoked some cigars.

Am I at risk? If I am, what are my chances?

I called a number for some help from a doctor (not specialized in STD:s). I forgot to mention about the “finger in my mouth” thing and only told her about the kissing and licking my eye. She said that there is no real risk for HIV but there is a risk for other diseases. She said that if I don’t notice anything strange in my eye or mouth within 2 weeks, I am ok. Does this make any sense? How does the “finger in my mouth” thing change my situation? I cannot call back to the doctor since they are closed on Fridays and weekends.

Thank you for your help!

[Ann]

Andy,

The "finger in mouth" thing doesn't change a thing. You were absolutely NOT at risk for hiv during your visit to the strip club. Sexually speaking, the ONLY true hiv risks are unprotected anal or vaginal intercourse.

You need to be using condoms for anal or vaginal intercourse, every time, no exceptions until such time as you are in a securely monogamous relationship where you have both tested for ALL sexually transmitted infections together. To agree to have unprotected intercourse is to consent to the possibility of being infected with an STI. Sex without a condom lasts only a matter of minutes, but hiv is forever.

Have a look through all three condom and lube links in my signature line so you can use condoms with confidence.

ALTHOUGH YOU DO NOT NEED TO TEST OVER YOUR STRIP-CLUB EXPERIENCE, anyone who is sexually active should be having a full sexual health care check-up, including but not limited to hiv testing, at least once a year and more often if unprotected intercourse occurs.

If you aren't already having regular, routine check-ups, now is the time to start. As long as you make sure condoms are being used for intercourse, you can fully expect your routine hiv tests to return with negative results. Don't forget to always get checked for all the other sexually transmitted infections as well, because they are MUCH easier to transmit than hiv.

Use condoms for anal or vaginal intercourse, correctly and consistently, and you will avoid hiv infection. It really is that simple!

Ann

[Andy_80]

Thank you for your answer. Just to make sure I understood everything correct, are you saying that: If this woman had HIV and she put her finger in her vagina (maybe scratched off some skin) and then within 2-3 seconds put it in my mouth and scratched my gum, tongue or some other part, there would still not be any risk for me getting HIV?

I know that this website is about aids, but I would really appreciate it if you could give me some info about the chances of me getting the other std:s like syphilis or gonnorea?

Thank you very much!

[Ann]

Andy,

Even if you put your mouth directly on her vagina, you still would NOT have had a risk for hiv infection. Even if she scratched your mouth with vaginal fluids on her finger, you were NOT at risk for hiv infection.

Use condoms for anal or vaginal intercourse, correctly and consistently, and you will avoid hiv infection. It really, really, REALLY is that simple!

The only thing you were at risk for during your strip club experience was paranoia and guilty feelings. Now give it up and get on with your life. You did NOT have a risk for hiv infection!

Ann

[Andy_80]

Thank you so much for your help. I hope I am not bothering you with another stupid question. I managed to relax for two days, but now I got a little worried about one thing.

I have read that if a person has other diseases in addition to HIV, he/she is much more likely to infect other people. Today I realized that I may have been infected with oral herpes. I remember now that the stripper was pretty rough and scratched the inner side of my lip (the under one), and immediately licked my lip after that. I know that there was no real cut that I could still see today, but I know that it did hurt when it happened and I may have tasted a little bit of blood in my mouth.

So now I wonder how this changes my risk, now that we know that she was more infectious (more hiv virus in her saliva) due to the herpes and now that I remember this detail that she scratched my lip and licked it afterwards. 

I am sorry that I did not write this in the first post because I did not remember it then. Now I remember mostly everything and I am still 100% sure I never took off my pants.

Is there any risk for hiv now? Do I need to take an hiv test?

Thank you!

Andy

[Andy Velez]

This is more what ifs. Plus you have heard wrong.

You don't even know that you have herpes. See your doctor about that if you are really concerned. And in any case, even if you picked that up during the recent encounter it still doesn't change the no risk for HIV in the situation.

It isn't the person who has HIV who is more likely to be infectious with other diseases. It is someone who is having an active outbreak of other STDs who is potentially more susceptible to HIV because their immune system is possible weakened.

These latest details you are throwing into the mix don't change the validity of what Ann has said to you. And just because your mind may come up with more of the same still doesn't change that you had a no-risk encounter. Period. End of story.

[Andy_80]

Thanks for all your help!

Unfortunately it is not so easy for me to just forget about this thing and continue living a normal life. Every now and then I come up with another "what if" or start thinking about the theoretical risk of my experience, so I decided to take a test anyway.

I called a medical center and asked about different hiv tests, and they recommended to take both an antibody and antigen test. They said that usually people take it 1 month after exposure and then again 3 months after exposure. Now I have read from various sources that the antigen test must be taken 1-3 weeks after exposure, otherwise it is too late.

So my question is now that when should I take this combo test and what is the reliability? 18 days have now passed since my exposure. I don't want to miss an opportunity to test and then have to wait 1-2 months or something to get as reliable results. I just want to know as early as possible with as good reliability as possible.

Thanks again!

[RapidRod]

Move on. You have been told over and over that you were never at risk of contracting HIV.