Hurting

[keepinmyhedup]

hi I'm 24 and tested HIV positive 3 years ago i was sexually assaulted by a family member who recently passed way with aids I'm scared and do not have health insurance to pay for this stressful journey its just not something i can tell the whole world u know and there are times when i just dint want to get out of bed i really need help I'm getting scared its not fair i did not even press charges because i did not want to bring issues in my already crazy family but i really need some help right now.

[tednlou2]

Welcome to the forums.  I'm sorry to hear that you're hurting.  I was diagnosed about 3 and half years ago, after getting very ill.  It has been an uphill road, full or so many emotions and fears.  Have you looked into ADAP, since you don't have insurance?  Have you had labs done recently?  If not, it very important that you begin to get labs done. 

Here in Louisville, the university runs an HIV clinic.  If you don't have income, you can get free doctor visits and labs.  There is even a free dental program.  They also have a therapist for free.  If you do have some income, I still think you have to make a decent amount before they charge you some fee.  Of course, they don't provide free HIV meds.  You have to sign up for ADAP for that.

I am very sorry to hear a family member betrayed you and did something so awful.  I had an uncle betray me, when I was 12.  It is something I've never talked about here, or even to my therapist yet.  At the end of my last session, I told him there was something that we needed to start discussing in future sessions.  I blamed myself for many years, and then was just too embarrassed to talk about it.  I've only briefly talked about it with my partner.  Perhaps if you can touch base with your closest HIV/AIDS organization (ASO), they can get you into care.  And, also get you in touch with a therapist at no charge, or small fee.

Keep in touch and keep your head up, like your name says.  I know that is easier said than done, often times.

Ted       

[keepinmyhedup]

thank you and know i dont know about any assitence i have not started any meds i just smoke a lot of weed which i know is not good but is not causing any harm it takes a lot of the nausea away and keeps me hungery i have kept this a secret for 3 years but im starting to get pretty but im scared what if it gets out that i have hiv i live in a small town but i will google local assitance thanks for info what will they do to me im scared with all the meds and labs