Welcome, Guest. Please login or register.
March 19, 2024, 06:56:43 am

Login with username, password and session length


Members
Stats
  • Total Posts: 772787
  • Total Topics: 66296
  • Online Today: 290
  • Online Ever: 5484
  • (June 18, 2021, 11:15:29 pm)
Users Online
Users: 2
Guests: 222
Total: 224

Welcome


Welcome to the POZ Community Forums, a round-the-clock discussion area for people with HIV/AIDS, their friends/family/caregivers, and others concerned about HIV/AIDS.  Click on the links below to browse our various forums; scroll down for a glance at the most recent posts; or join in the conversation yourself by registering on the left side of this page.

Privacy Warning:  Please realize that these forums are open to all, and are fully searchable via Google and other search engines. If you are HIV positive and disclose this in our forums, then it is almost the same thing as telling the whole world (or at least the World Wide Web). If this concerns you, then do not use a username or avatar that are self-identifying in any way. We do not allow the deletion of anything you post in these forums, so think before you post.

  • The information shared in these forums, by moderators and members, is designed to complement, not replace, the relationship between an individual and his/her own physician.

  • All members of these forums are, by default, not considered to be licensed medical providers. If otherwise, users must clearly define themselves as such.

  • Forums members must behave at all times with respect and honesty. Posting guidelines, including time-out and banning policies, have been established by the moderators of these forums. Click here for “Do I Have HIV?” posting guidelines. Click here for posting guidelines pertaining to all other POZ community forums.

  • We ask all forums members to provide references for health/medical/scientific information they provide, when it is not a personal experience being discussed. Please provide hyperlinks with full URLs or full citations of published works not available via the Internet. Additionally, all forums members must post information which are true and correct to their knowledge.

  • Product advertisement—including links; banners; editorial content; and clinical trial, study or survey participation—is strictly prohibited by forums members unless permission has been secured from POZ.

To change forums navigation language settings, click here (members only), Register now

Para cambiar sus preferencias de los foros en español, haz clic aquí (sólo miembros), Regístrate ahora

Finished Reading This? You can collapse this or any other box on this page by clicking the symbol in each box.

Author Topic: Just 19 years and tested poz two weeks ago.  (Read 18248 times)

0 Members and 1 Guest are viewing this topic.

Offline lifer

  • Member
  • Posts: 47
Just 19 years and tested poz two weeks ago.
« on: July 23, 2007, 06:32:01 pm »
Hello to everyone,

Sharing my story with all of you after testing positive 2 weeks ago. I have an appointment this week for my second test, i pray that it will come out negative although dont really believe much in it.

Im only 19 years old and have been reading up on aids/hiv related posts and everything including medication, change of lifestyle etc etc.

I guess i dont really have questions i want to ask except for this. I think i got hiv from my boyfriend whom i dated back in march cause i tested ngeative in december 2006, i dont know for sure but i do suspect that because he also did escortwork and told me he did it a couple of times without a condom oh well. I dont really hate him or something. But he always told me that he was clean and had nothing and if he would ever find out he was positive he would kill the person who would have infected him and commit suicide after that. And the worse thing is that he does have kind of a criminal past so he would be capable of doing it and unfortunately he knows where i live etc etc. Now maybe telling me he was all clean and would kill the person was to just throw me off the thought that it could ever be him who could have infected me. My biggest fear is, that soon or late he will find out he is positive and will directly link it to me and come after me. So i dont know whether to confess it to him and maybe talk about it which i doubt will lead to a good outcome or just not say anything. im not really in contact with him anymore. so i really dont know what to do. i just hope he is not poz and i got it from someone else but my heart is telling me everything i mentioned above here.

as for me, im not scared to live or continue with life. i just dont ever want my parents to find out that i will die or died from aids. my dream would  be to outlive my parents and die after that. i dont think about death much, but it does come into my head occasionally esp. on a lonely evening listening to sad music it does make me think of all this and how this could happen to me esp. since im only 19 years old.

also my motivation has really went down. i havent applied for a new trimester yet and dont know if i should or just drop out and live life to the fullest and see where it will all take me.

if all else fails, i could always end it peacefully with an overdose.

lots of love.
chris.

Offline tinydaniell

  • Member
  • Posts: 49
Re: Just 19 years and tested poz two weeks ago.
« Reply #1 on: July 23, 2007, 06:49:08 pm »
Chris,

I do have a couple of suggestions for first of all do not take your life. There is a lot left to still live for do go ahead and sign up for the next semester of school. HIV/AIDS is a manageable disease that you can live a long and prosperous life however long/short. Do live life to the fullest but you do have time. Get the tests and the results cut out some of the stress and live a healthy life.

Michael

Offline PositivelyYours

  • Member
  • Posts: 133
Re: Just 19 years and tested poz two weeks ago.
« Reply #2 on: July 23, 2007, 08:33:20 pm »
Hello Chris,

I would like to start off by saying, 'Welcome' to the forum.  You have taken the first step in dealing with this new chapter in your life.  There are a lot of experience people on this forum who have managed the virus for as long as you are old. HIV/AIDS can happen to anyone and all it takes is one time.  Secondly, I would like to say that ending your life is not the answer to your problem. You will only make it that more difficult for your parents.  They would rather you be alive with HIV/AIDS than to be dead as a result of Suicide.  As Michael stated, And by the way - my real name is Michael also, This condition is very manageable now.  All you have to do is find you a good specialist, join a support group, eat well and nutriously and keep your stress level to a minimum and you will be fine.  Lastly, Please GO BACK TO SCHOOL.  You are not going to die because of your diagnosis. Think POSITIVE!! YOU ARE GOING TO BE JUST FINE!  If you would like to hit me up privately please do so at uncutblkbear@aol.com

PositivelyYours
PositivelyYours

Diagnosed: 08/10/2006
08/31/06 CD4:240/VL:39,000
09/12/06 CD4:359/VL:50,000
11/16/06 CD4:509/VL:76,000 (Flu Shot)
02/13/07 CD4:270/VL:69,000
02/17/07 Developed the Shingles
02/20/07 CD4:326/VL (Not Tested)
03/20/07 CD4:484/VL:54,000
06/19/07 CD4:488/VL:51,000
09/18/07 CD4:372/VL:27,000
10/09/07 Took Flu Shot
12/18/07 CD4:408/VL:85,000
03/18/08 CD4:394/VL:116,000 (Still No Meds)
05/22/08 CD4:412/VL:63,000
08/13/08 CD4:362/VL:67,000
09/23/08 Took Flu Shot
10/15/08 CD4:340/VL:54,000
11/14/08 Started Atripla @ 9:45 p.m.
1/30/09 CD4:641/VL:<48 Copies
5/07/09 CD4:667/VL: Undetectable
12/02/09 CD4:759/VL: Undetectable
03/05/10 CD4:537/VL: Undetectable
03/16/10 Rec'd TB Skin Test, Pneumonia & Hep B Vac
04/15/10 Hep B & Tetanus Vac
6/10 CD4: 748 VL: Undet.

Offline RobT

  • Member
  • Posts: 319
Re: Just 19 years and tested poz two weeks ago.
« Reply #3 on: July 23, 2007, 09:19:14 pm »
Chris-
This is a lot to still live for eventhough u still have this bug. Just continue to live life to the fullest. Keeping on going to school. Just cut down on the stress and anxiety. Join a HIV Support group, find a HIV specialist; and things will b fine.

Rob
Current meds: Atripla
VL: undetectable
CD4: 630

Offline milker

  • Member
  • Posts: 4,034
  • Protected phone sex
Re: Just 19 years and tested poz two weeks ago.
« Reply #4 on: July 23, 2007, 10:39:04 pm »
I would avoid confess to him.

Milker.
mid-dec: stupid ass
mid-jan: seroconversion
mid-feb: poz
mar 07: cd4 432 (35%) vl 54000
may 07: cd4 399 (28%) vl 27760
jul 07: cd4 403 (26%) vl 99241
oct 07: cd4 353 (24%) vl 29993
jan 08: cd4 332 (26%) vl 33308
mar 08: cd4 392 (23%) vl 75548
jun 08: cd4 325 (27%) vl 45880
oct 08: cd4 197 (20%) vl 154000 <== aids diagnosis
nov 2 08 start Atripla
nov 30 08: cd4 478 (23%) vl 1880 !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
feb 19 09: cd4 398 (24%) vl 430 getting there!
apr 23 09: cd4 604 (29%) vl 50 woohoo :D :D
jul 30 09: cd4 512 (29%) vl undetectable :D :D
may 27 10: cd4 655 (32%) vl undetectable :D :D

Now accepting applications from blowjob ninjas™

Offline xyahka

  • Member
  • Posts: 808
  • Dance together!! aha!! aha!! I like it!!
Re: Just 19 years and tested poz two weeks ago.
« Reply #5 on: July 24, 2007, 02:01:59 am »
I would avoid confess to him.

Milker.

Hi i agree with milker too, don't talk to him anymore.. if he gave it to you, he knew he had it. If not i am pretty sure he will do it bareback with others (or have already done it) so by the time he got aids (because perhaps he had nevere really tested) he will not know who gave it to him...

Stop thinking about him, as he didn't think about you. Now you come first!!.

Get into the next trismetre, University is very exciting and you will discover you have lot of things to do despite hiv. I know a guy over here in my country who got diagnosed when he just started University and he stopped it. Thinking he would die soon... 17 years later... he regrets he didn't pursuit his career... don't do same mistake.

Welcome to the family!!!

Juan Carlos
« Last Edit: December 12, 2009, 05:40:24 pm by Andy Velez »
13/03/07 1er diagnóstico /Peso: 79kg
19/04/07 CD4: 494 /CViral: ?? /Peso: 80kg
19/07/07 CD4: 659 /CViral: ?? /Peso: 79.5kg
06/03/08 CD4: 573 (después de meses muy deprimido) /CViral: ?? /Peso: 79kg
17/09/08 CD4: ?? /CViral: ?? /Peso: 84Kg
06/02/09 CD4: ?? /CViral: ?? /Peso: 85Kg /HCV: Neg /HBV: Neg.
07/03/09 CD4: ?? /CViral: ?? /Peso: 87Kg / Gym 3días/semana y Natación 2días/semana.
12/05/09 CD4: 470 /Cviral: ?? /Peso: 87Kg.
08/07/09 CD4: ? /CViral: ? /Peso: 77Kg.
09/12/09 CD4: 510 /CViral: ? /Peso: 78kg. No medicinas aún
10/01/10 CD4: ? /CViral: ? /Peso: 76Kg.
15/05/10 CD4: 320 /CViral: ? /Peso: 76Kg.
01/02/11 CD4: 291 /CViral: ? /Peso: 78kg.
05/05/11 CD4: 366 /CViral: ? /Peso: 78kg.
27/07/11 CD4: 255 /CViral: 138000 /Peso: 78kg.

Disfrutando y aceptando una nueva vida...

Offline Cerrid

  • Member
  • Posts: 500
  • only as good as your last haircut
Re: Just 19 years and tested poz two weeks ago.
« Reply #6 on: July 24, 2007, 06:15:13 am »
Hi i agree with milker too, don't talk to him anymore.. if he gave it to you, he knew he had it. If not i am pretty sure he will do it bareback with others (or have already done it) so by the time he got aids (because perhaps he had nevere really tested) he will not know who gave it to him...

How can you be so sure? 50-70 % of all new infections happen by people who are not aware of their status, or can't be aware of it because they're still in their three-month diagnostic window but are highly infectious nevertheless.

lifer, I'd suggest to wait for your final diagnosis and let it settle. When you feel strong enough, contact your ex and tell him. If he's unaware he should know it because there's a chance he's passing this around, unknowingly. You wrote you have no harsh feelings against him, so that should help when you talk to him.

As for your parents, disclosing is always tough. Not just for you, for them as well. Depending on how deep your relation is, it takes a lot of courage, but you'll gain a very important support group which you'll need in the months and years ahead, especially as you're quite young. Sometimes it helps if you take them your to doc so they can talk to him, too.

Anyways, the diagnosis is always a shock but this too will pass. It takes some time to get acquainted with it, but it's not a death sentence and it does not make you a leper. Life's still beautiful and you'll find it's still worth living. Many went through this before you, and many will follow.

« Last Edit: July 24, 2007, 06:17:08 am by Cerrid »
"Boredom is always counterrevolutionary. Always." (Guy Debord)

Offline indyguy

  • Member
  • Posts: 260
  • Hoosier Boy Single Again.
Re: Just 19 years and tested poz two weeks ago.
« Reply #7 on: July 24, 2007, 07:50:49 am »
Not tell him? Your local health department will advise him without him ever knowing where it came from. Not to mention being so young you may or may not have health insurance so the health department can help with that too and you parents never have to know. You say he is a escort? Well if the health department tells him and he questions you then you can always deny it and at least he will know his status. Just my thoughts on the matter.
Meds doing well so far.

Offline redhotmuslbear

  • Member
  • Posts: 605
  • A genuine certified freak of nature, and a hot one
Re: Just 19 years and tested poz two weeks ago.
« Reply #8 on: July 24, 2007, 08:59:32 am »
Rather than focusing on "did he know?" think instead about why you allowed yourself to be penetrated without a condom.  Shifting the burden of responsibility for your health at the outset of coping with HIV isn't going to make the process any easier.  Unraveling the emotions and (lack of) reasoning that led you to take a raw load will be invaluable as you learn to live with the virus.

I contracted HIV when I was 17, back when a bunch of men around me in Houston were dropping dead of this bizarre cancer called Kaposi's Sarcoma or from Pneumocystic Carinii Pneumonia (dayum!  I can still spell this sh*t!).  I did a lot of sex work while also enrolled in a very selective university, and I could lose a lot of sleep over who I may have infected back then or up until I finally had HIV shoved in my face fifteen years later.

I know that men seek out commercial sex with the expectation of avoiding condom use, even today.  I also know how easy it is to believe every word that comes out of a hot guy's mouth.  Still, it doesn't reliieve a receptive partner of the responsibility for safeguarding his own health.

Not a sermon, just a thought.

Peace,
David
"The real problem is not whether machines think but whether men do." - BF Skinner
12-31-09   222wks VL  2430 CD4 690 (37%)
09-30-09   208wks VL  2050  CD4 925 (42%)
06-25-08   143wks VL  1359  CD4 668 (32%)  CD8 885
02-11-08   123wks off meds:  VL 1364 CD4 892(40%/0.99 ratio)
10-19-07   112wks off meds:   VL 292  CD4 857(37%/0.85 ratio)

One copy of delta-32 for f*****d up CCR5 receptors, and an HLA B44+ allele for "CD8-mediated immunity"... beteer than winning Powerball, almost!

Offline Pavementlion

  • Member
  • Posts: 9
Re: Just 19 years and tested poz two weeks ago.
« Reply #9 on: July 24, 2007, 12:13:54 pm »
Hey man I'm 20, found out I was positive when I was 19...it sucked.  I still don't think I'm over the shock.  If you need to talk to someone your age AIM me Airikisme or Email me Airikisme@hotmail.com

Offline JamieD

  • Member
  • Posts: 259
Re: Just 19 years and tested poz two weeks ago.
« Reply #10 on: July 25, 2007, 11:51:48 pm »
I'm probably not the best person to talk to for advice, but you could PM me if you want. I am only 21, and was 19 2 years ago.  :D Seriously, I usually can give others great advice even though I don't take it myself.

Offline RapidRod

  • Member
  • Posts: 15,288
Re: Just 19 years and tested poz two weeks ago.
« Reply #11 on: July 26, 2007, 07:02:27 am »
I wouldn't just hop to conclusions on being positive until you have a confirmative test result. You should still post in the "Am I Infected" forum until such time you've received your confirmation test results.

Offline Bucko

  • Member
  • Posts: 1,947
  • You need a shine, missy!
Re: Just 19 years and tested poz two weeks ago.
« Reply #12 on: July 27, 2007, 04:01:02 pm »
Rather than focusing on "did he know?" think instead about why you allowed yourself to be penetrated without a condom.  Shifting the burden of responsibility for your health at the outset of coping with HIV isn't going to make the process any easier.  Unraveling the emotions and (lack of) reasoning that led you to take a raw load will be invaluable as you learn to live with the virus.

I contracted HIV when I was 17, back when a bunch of men around me in Houston were dropping dead of this bizarre cancer called Kaposi's Sarcoma or from Pneumocystic Carinii Pneumonia (dayum!  I can still spell this sh*t!).  I did a lot of sex work while also enrolled in a very selective university, and I could lose a lot of sleep over who I may have infected back then or up until I finally had HIV shoved in my face fifteen years later.

I know that men seek out commercial sex with the expectation of avoiding condom use, even today.  I also know how easy it is to believe every word that comes out of a hot guy's mouth.  Still, it doesn't reliieve a receptive partner of the responsibility for safeguarding his own health.

Not a sermon, just a thought.

Peace,
David

Lifer-

These are wise words, indeed. heed them closely.

Like David, I was infected very young, probably from my first lover (what we used to call them, back in 1978) who died in 1988. I'm still very much here and doing pretty well, all things considering. HIV is hardly a death sentence, baby.

You use "clean" a lot in your OP. I'd seriously counsel you away from that specific word, as it suggests that we (you and I and everybody who posts here) is somehow dirty. I wash at least once a day, and down here in Florida sometimes more often.

Brent
(Who hopes Lifie gets a grip)
Blessed with brains, talent and gorgeous tits.

Blathering on AIDSmeds since 2005, provocative from birth

Offline MoltenStorm

  • Member
  • Posts: 477
  • Poz & Fabulous
Re: Just 19 years and tested poz two weeks ago.
« Reply #13 on: July 27, 2007, 06:21:08 pm »
Lifer -

I'm 23, and I just found I was positive in April of 2006. I remember getting the acute infection symptoms back in July of 2005, so I was 21 when I contracted the virus.

Please don't take your life, and please don't let go of your dreams. HIV is not the death sentence it once was. Nowadays, it's lumped into the same category as Diabetes - a chronic manageable illness. Your dreams are still VERY attainable. Don't let go of that star. Life is still worth living. I've attached a poem I wrote while I was coming to terms with being positive. Maybe it will be of some help to you.

Promise
By: Moltenstorm

A month ago seems like years –
a different time; a different place.
The interim has been filled
with laughter, tears, and grace.

For the first time, in a long time,
I’ve had to stop and pause.
I now have to figure out
the ‘what’ of my life’s cause.

A new intruder introduced here
with the world holding its breath.
It comes to rape and plunder
an already mortal flesh.

What will the future hold?
How am I going to fare?
These questions so encumber
an already burdened care.

Time’s hall is remembered once
just as clear as glass.
Now, I don’t even know
how long I’m going to last.

I stand strong
and resist the Cold,
but for how long
is it going to hold?

Where did it all go?
Those days of yesteryear –
when innocence and freedom’s wings
were only all too clear.

Once unfettered and carefree,
it all comes to a stop.
Now I live in waiting
for the other shoe to drop.

Time moves so slowly;
there are so many fears.
Only the night truly knows
about my fallen tears.

The future is clouded;
my step, unclear.
My promise to live is doubted
upon a wistful tear.

A stranger now, who I was,
in those days of yore.
The world seems so much different
than how it was before.

That person doesn’t exist;
he was irrevocably erased.
Upon a glance in the mirror,
HIV now has a face.

But I’m keeping hold;
I’m living bold
to prove that in the end,
Life is still worth living
no matter what it sends.

I have a dear friend who told me when I found out I was positive, "It is with a heavy heart that I welcome you into this world, but I offer you the hope that tomorrow will always be brighter." He is also positive, and he is very much alive and well. In that same stream of thought, welcome to the forums.
« Last Edit: July 27, 2007, 06:23:12 pm by MoltenStorm »
"Love is always patient and kind. It is never jealous. Love is never boastful nor conceited. It is never rude or selfish. It does not take offense and is not resentful. Love takes no pleasure in other people's sins, but delights in the truth. It is always ready to excuse, to trust, to hope, and to endure whatever comes." - 1 Corinthians 13:4-7, adaptation in A Walk To Remember

CD4: 555 / 29% / Undetectable - 7 Nov 2006
CD4: 555 / 29% / Undetectable - 5 Feb 2007

Offline pozattitude

  • Member
  • Posts: 909
  • Enjoy
    • to find out more about me....
Re: Just 19 years and tested poz two weeks ago.
« Reply #14 on: July 27, 2007, 07:03:59 pm »
it suggests that we (you and I and everybody who posts here) is somehow dirty

but I like it dirty   :o

I'm sorry, I couldn't pass this one   ::)

on a serious note now,

there are a lot of good messages posted here.  I am sorry that you are so young and having to deal with all of this, but it does get better, it really does.
I was in college when I was infected and I dropped out.  Later I went back but I lost so much time.  If anything, learn how to take one day at the time, enjoy every moment as if it were your last.  You'll see, one day, when you are old and gray, that live with HIV is not the end, it is still LIFE.
If I were you, I'd stay away from your ex, you don't want nor do you need that shit in your life.
I wish you the best and I hope you hang in there.  Let us know how you are doing.

Rich
POSITIVE PEDALERS... We are a group of people living with HIV/AIDS, eliminating stigma through our positive public example.

Offline atxpozguy

  • Member
  • Posts: 67
  • POZ+ 32 year milestone reached for Austin man
Re: Just 19 years and tested poz two weeks ago.
« Reply #15 on: July 28, 2007, 05:43:31 pm »
Lifer,

From what you said in your first post, there is absolutely no reason to think you are different nor going to die soon. Oh gosh, I was probably infected before anyone knew about HIV and AIDS, like so many people. But many of us, are still here and some are gone forever, but you can't let what others say get to you.  You have your whole life ahead of you and there is no reason you can't achieve your life's dreams.

I have been HIV positive since testing began and at this time of my life, some 20+ years later, "LIVING" with AIDS with many friends for support and taking a mere 6 pills in the morning and 13 pills at bedtime.

Keep your head up and remember, your life is worth more in gold, to your family and "close" friends you have here...
32 years poz LTS with no expiration date

Diagnosed HIV 1982
Diagnosed AIDS 2001

As of June 2015, VL <20 CD 435 26%

Currently taking a daily total of 17 meds while only two meds for AIDS, the rest for other body organs effected by years of retrovirals. Diagnosed with Lung Cancer 2012, COPD Stage 4 2015, IBS 2013, Chronic Cystitis, Chronic Renal Failure, Hearing Loss, Depression and everyday comes with different health episodes which has sent me to the Er via EMS on a regular basis.  My quality of life has been impacted dramatically.

Offline unseenparagon

  • Member
  • Posts: 7
Re: Just 19 years and tested poz two weeks ago.
« Reply #16 on: August 04, 2007, 04:34:56 pm »
Hi, hunny.  I know what you are feeling.  I am 20 and tested positive about two weeks ago.  Don't end anything peacefully; go out fighting.  Life is very special and important; your life is very special and important.  I am struggling with the same question about school.  Should I drop out and just enjoy life?  Should I stop spending money on an education that I won't get much use out of?  Well, here's my thought process...School gives me a drive; a sense of normalcy. if you will. I also don't want to be 30 when they find the cure and I am a non-educated, poor, no modivation loser.  Then what?  I am no longer HIV+ and have no life?  So, just take one day at a time and enjoy.  You'll be ok.  Good luck and make sure you keep in touch with the forum!

Offline Ann

  • Administrator
  • Member
  • Posts: 28,134
  • It just is, OK?
    • Num is sum qui mentiar tibi?
Re: Just 19 years and tested poz two weeks ago.
« Reply #17 on: August 04, 2007, 04:46:13 pm »
Hmm....

"Lifer" has not been back since the day he posted this thread, and I have a feeling he got confirmation of being hiv negative, not positive. (he said he hadn't had confirmation yet)

Paragon, please don't drop out of school! You're going to need that education and you'll have time to put it to good use too. You'll see.

Ann
Condoms are a girl's best friend

Condom and Lube Info  

"...health will finally be seen not as a blessing to be wished for, but as a human right to be fought for." Kofi Annan

Nymphomaniac: a woman as obsessed with sex as an average man. Mignon McLaughlin

HIV is certainly character-building. It's made me see all of the shallow things we cling to, like ego and vanity. Of course, I'd rather have a few more T-cells and a little less character. Randy Shilts

Offline lifer

  • Member
  • Posts: 47
Re: Just 19 years and tested poz two weeks ago.
« Reply #18 on: August 11, 2007, 09:07:23 am »
Hi everyone,


I am back and thought to share some of the updates with you. I went for the confirmation and was tested poz. again. Days before my second test, i didnt feel depressed or anything, i was back to the old me. Maybe it was the denial proces in me, not realizing the whole thing or maybe it's because ive talked to some friends of mine with the same issue and have been pretty much informed well on the whole subject, at least to know that im not dying, soon, at least.

Anyway, went back to the hospital day before yesterday got the blood tests done, will be contacted next week for the results. My hiv consulent told me he thinks this is an accute infection as i told him i suspect my ex bf infected me in what i think has been either may or june.And to be honest, now that i try to remember one of those days it occurs to me that all of the sudden there was this couple of weeks that i got big spots on my forehead, it was like acne but painful more like lumps. I thought it was very strange as ive never gotten that before but didnt think anything of it. After some time, they finally went away. NOW i think about that, i think it was pretty obvious that it was already my first link to HIV!!!

so my consulent told me that after the results are in, i might wanna consider joining one of those trials. Thats also something i wanna ask you guys, should i or should i not? the purpose of those trials is to supposedly to  put someone on meds and after like 6 tot 12 months stop with the meds and expect him to last long without meds. (t cells would remain stable according to him). But i mean, its not called a trial for nothing, there is no guarantee, it might as well just last for like a couple of months until your cells start dropping again and you will be put on meds forever. also since i just found out about this whole new 'life' of mine, id rather stretch it out without meds as long as possible.


on a psychological note, i guess im doing good. no more suicidal thoughts, only regrets. i try to have as much of a social life as possible i guess hoping to bury the whole issue but i cant, i just have to face it and live with it. one of the remarkable things my consulent told me however was that he thinks hiv will never be cured as it also enters your dna and since you cant really enter that he thinks its all wishful thinking that hiv one day will not be a worldwide problem anymore. he does believe the meds will get better and better, but as for cure....   It did dissapoint me a little because ive talked to some friens of mine and one of the friends has his own big company helping children in need in africa suffering from aids so he is updated on research progress and such and he did tell me and there will be a cure within 10 years. now i dont know what to believe. i also think that the more we think and wait for a cure, the more frustrated we get with ourselves and also the more stress we have.

but umm yeah so im waiting for a call to hear my results and then i have an app next week again.i hope all will go well.


i also hope all of you are doing good too. thanks for all the words and the wisdom, i appreciate it! xoxo.

Offline RapidRod

  • Member
  • Posts: 15,288
Re: Just 19 years and tested poz two weeks ago.
« Reply #19 on: August 12, 2007, 05:50:32 pm »
Welcome to the forum Chris.

Offline NYCguy

  • Member
  • Posts: 181
Re: Just 19 years and tested poz two weeks ago.
« Reply #20 on: August 13, 2007, 02:05:45 am »
lifer,
So glad to hear you're dealing with all this well.  As for the study, do you have any more inforamtion about it?  There are many people in this forum in studies and you could ask if anyone else knows about the specific one, maybe in the reasearch news forum? 
Also, just wanted to add that although the Stimpson case was a crock of shit, the immune Ghana prostitutes Anotherman mentions is accurate and there have been semi-documented cases of a group of women in Gabon who apparently spontanously retro-converted (essentially cured themselves), which is believed to be because of a specific type of protein (tat) inhibitor they had in their bodies, so he does have something of a point.  This is a subject of serveral vaccine projects.
11/9/06 = #$%^&!
sometime early Dec 2006:
CD4 530 20%/VL >250,000 (&*$$%!!)
started Reyataz300mg/Norvir/Truvada 12-27-06.
1/30/07 CD4 540 30%/VL <400
4/07 CD4 600+ 33%/VL <50
6/9/07 CD4 720 37%/VL <50
10/15/07 CD4 891 (!) %? VL <50
1/2010 CD4 599 (37%) VL<50 (drop due to acute HCV)
9/2010 - looks like HCV is gone for good! And I'm finally drinking again, thank GOD
2013 - considering a switch to Stribild. but I love my Kidneys (but I hate farting all the time!)...
June 2013 - switched to Stribild.  so far so good...

Offline Ann

  • Administrator
  • Member
  • Posts: 28,134
  • It just is, OK?
    • Num is sum qui mentiar tibi?
Re: Just 19 years and tested poz two weeks ago.
« Reply #21 on: August 16, 2007, 04:44:13 am »
Hi Chris,

Your thread got hijacked for several posts and since you're new here and need support (as opposed to a hijack), I split the hijack out and you can now read it as a stand-alone thread here.

Ann
Condoms are a girl's best friend

Condom and Lube Info  

"...health will finally be seen not as a blessing to be wished for, but as a human right to be fought for." Kofi Annan

Nymphomaniac: a woman as obsessed with sex as an average man. Mignon McLaughlin

HIV is certainly character-building. It's made me see all of the shallow things we cling to, like ego and vanity. Of course, I'd rather have a few more T-cells and a little less character. Randy Shilts

Offline red_Dragon888

  • Member
  • Posts: 2,845
  • Love and Be Love in Return
Re: Just 19 years and tested poz two weeks ago.
« Reply #22 on: August 16, 2007, 06:01:12 pm »
HIV is not the end and there is more to live for.  I hope you are well and seek someone to talk to and take some of that stress of yourself.  Try to find a support group or a professional or someone to talk to.
« Last Edit: August 16, 2007, 06:03:00 pm by red_Dragon888 »
http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_embedded&v=I3ba3lnFHik

Off Crystal Meth since May 13, 2013.  In recovery with 20 months clean time.

Offline Falkore

  • Member
  • Posts: 70
Re: Just 19 years and tested poz two weeks ago.
« Reply #23 on: August 18, 2007, 01:41:13 am »
I have a dear friend who told me when I found out I was positive, "It is with a heavy heart that I welcome you into this world, but I offer you the hope that tomorrow will always be brighter." He is also positive, and he is very much alive and well. In that same stream of thought, welcome to the forums.

Oh my goodness, I had totally forgotten I said that.  Who knew I had such a big ... heart.  I just have to hide it better.  Anyways, Lifer, welcome.  I hate that we meet in such a place, but since you can not change your status, I am glad that you have found your way here.  There are many people who are always willing to open up their hearts (and some times their mouths) to you.  Oh my, that sounded MUCH dirtier than I expected.  OK, I can't help it, I have such a dirty mind.  Well, if you have any questions about anything related to LIVING with HIV, feel free to post on these forums.  Everyone is here because they have some experience with HIV.  Also, feel free to ask your primary doctor.  He/she will be the best resource for your specific case. 

"Life is not a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving in a pretty, and well preserved body.  But to slide in broadside, totally used up, th roughly worn out, and loudly proclaiming, 'WOW... what a ride!"
"Ain't no shame in my flame"
Date:          CD4:     VL:
10/02/05     568       2,070
11/18/05     541       2,970
02/17/06     442       4,720
04/17/06     510       1,100
07/12/06     391       3,050
Start Atripla
09/22/06     595       Undet.
01/18/07     562       Undet.
05/25/07     540       Undet.
09/26/07     531       Undet.

 


Terms of Membership for these forums
 

© 2024 Smart + Strong. All Rights Reserved.   terms of use and your privacy
Smart + Strong® is a registered trademark of CDM Publishing, LLC.