my struggle to get pregnant

[karry]

Hello ladies!
I need your input as this is all new to me and exciting as well as scary.
My partner and I have been living together for over a year and half.... and we decided against birth control as we both want a kid. After a year of trying fruitlessly I spoke to my hiv specialist who was so great about it. He referred us to one of the best obgyn who has a lot of experience with pos patients. This doctor was also great and ran a lot of tests on us. I received a call from his office recently advising that all is ok , but they are referring us to a fertility centre for sperm washing and artificial insemination.

So here I am...all excited and scared. I am looking for literature on this. Our first meeting with the doctor is end of February....
If anyone has had any such experiences, please do share. What are the things to look for? Any success stories? What is the probability it works?

We are both positive. Partner is on meds and undetectable. I am not on meds. Last vl 256 and cd4 770.


Thanks.
Kerry.
 

[Ann]

Hi Kerry! Sorry to hear you're having difficulties with conception.

Why are they wanting to do sperm washing? You're both poz, and he's on meds and UD. In serodiscordant couples, when the (poz) man is UD and has been for at least six months, couples are having children without sperm washing all the time.

Sperm washing seems like an awfully expensive, unnecessary procedure - overkill in your case. After all, you're both poz, he's UD and you've been not using condoms for all this time, why the caution now? And it can't be for the protection of the clinic staff either, as his semen would present absolutely no risk to them.

If I'm missing something, I'm sorry. It's just that I've never heard of sperm washing being employed outside of a serodiscordant couple where the man is poz and the woman is negative.

Have you tried other things like an improved diet, and loose underwear and trousers for him? Have you tried charting your ovulation? Have you been checked out for things like blocked fallopian tubes? Usually couples go through a battery of tests to find possible "mechanical" problems before expensive procedures like artificial insemination are put on the table. It's not clear whether or not you've already done any of this.

Sorry, I've had more questions for you than answers!

I hope you find something that works for you and you'll be reporting the birth of your precious baby this time next year. Good luck and keep us posted.

Hugs,
Ann

[karry]

Hi Ann.
Most of the questions you raised came to my mind. I also thought we won't need any thing extra since they said all the analysis and medical exams they did on us were ok. I did not ask questions because they called me while I was at work... no privacy to discuss medical issues. Their office hours are same as mine and his. So these questions will be asked in person during the February appointment.
Finance wise, it will be at no cost for both of us till date. I was told my consultation and procedures are free. 
Thanks for your input, Ann. While waiting for the appointment we are doing it like little rabbits hoping we won't need the appointment, lol. I apologise for my language.
Hugs to you.
Karry

[karry]

[quote author=Ann link=topic=52425.msg621723#msg621723 date=1390476

Have you tried other things like an improved diet, and loose underwear and trousers for him? Have you tried charting your ovulation? Have you been checked out for things like blocked fallopian tubes? Usually couples go through a battery of tests to find possible "mechanical" problems before expensive procedures like artificial insemination are put on the table. It's not clear whether or not you've already done any of this
[/quote]

Yes I did try charting my ovulation. I did a hysterosalpingography  and my tubes were shown to be okay. This referral for sperm washing and insemination comes after they ran all the tests on both of us. He was lucky... just a spermogram! I had to go for all echo and hysterosalpingography. 

[Sweet_C]

Kerry so sorry that you've had a tough time conceiving.  I can relate because me and my hubby (both pos) had trouble conceiving our second child. We sought out the help of a fertility specialist.

I can tell you that the fact that you're pos has no bearing whatsoever on the course of treatment, just like Ann said.  The only thing you will have to keep in mind is that some states have restrictions on procedures like IUI and IVF for men who are pox, and you may either have to travel to other states to get those done or you may have to seek legal assistance to get the laws overturned because my doctor made clear that those laws have absolutely no basis in science and really make no sense.

One piece of advice for you is that I would get a couple of all of your test results and go over them yourself after doing the research.  You would be shocked if you knew how much disagreement there is among doctors over course of treatment. 

In particular, since all of your tests have come out fine, I would take an extra hard look at your partner's sperm analysis.  REs and OB/GYNs mainly treat women and don't specialize in male issues.  Also, keep in mind they are in the business of performing IUIs and IVFs and not on helping couples to conceive naturally.  Sperm that is good enough to conceive with IUI and IVF is often not good enough to conceive naturally.

We wasted two years trying to conceive just because our RE determined that my hubby's sperm was "fine".  After several months with that RE without success we saw another RE for a second opinion and he determined that my hubby's sperm was so bad that we either needed to go straight to IVF or my hubby needed to see a urologist to improve his sperm.  After getting that assessment I did a lot of googling and concluded that the second RE was right.  So after almost two years of all of the invasive tests, HSGs, clomid and a lap and hysteroscopy, all it took was for my hubby to take some supplements to improve his sperm and we conceived the very next month.  I'm currently 22 weeks along.

Another reason you should make sure that your hubby's sperm is truly A-OK before proceeding because I've read that certain HIV meds deplete an amino acid--I believe it's L-carnitine--that gives sperm its vitality and motility.

One last tip is that I would go straight to a fertility clinic if your insurance allows it.  That is what they specialize in and for most women it saves a lot of time. 

Good luck!

[msoftie]

i would question whether your ob/gyn is hiv aware at all !!! you don't need sperm washing - thats NUTZ.  sperm is not poz/neg - it's just sperm... have sex the old fashioned way, watch your BBT (basal body temperature) to get pregnant and have a baby!  I'd change providers (DR's) ASAP

[karry]

@SweetC: Congrats on the pregnancy. Thanks a lot for the input. I have lots of unanswered questions and all written down for the appointment coming up at the end of the month. We live in Canada and I have not heard of any restrictions in our province for pos people and IUIs or other.  I will also question more about his sperm vitality and mortality during the visit.
@msoftie: I think the sperm washing has nothing to do with my status or his. Its just a standard procedure used in treating couples with infertility issues. Based on the Canadian definition the fact that we have been trying over a year to have a baby and it does not work puts us in the category of couples with infertility issues.
Thanks for the advice.
K.

[Tamika]

Good luck Karry - sprinkling some baby dust your way! I struggled for years to fall pregnant - hubby neg and I'm pos. Eventually fell preggies thru IVF - my daughter is now 5 years old. We also adopted my son last year - he's now 18 months. Praying that everything works out for you and your hubby.....