Author Topic: Tested Poz 28th December feeling unwell day on day off (Read 14089 times)

NLEWLAD · « **on:** January 02, 2008, 06:53:41 am »

Hi All,

I am a 32 year old gay man from the UK (near Manchester), about three months ago i had symptoms of syphillis which i visited my G.U.M Clinic (sexual Health) and had a blood test and it was confirmed that i had syphillis - i had the course of penacillin injections and everything was fine, i also had a hiv test which tested negative.

About 3/4 weeks ago i had similar symptoms again apart from the rash over my body was different i had also been experincing vomiting fatigue and general unwell feelings, i again visited the clinic and was diagnosed with Herpes i had a blood test to check to see if i had become re infected with syphillis and the doctor recomended a further HIV Test. Last week i recieved a phone call from the clinic who recomended that i should visit them as they where confused with my infections and wanted a chat (i know it was a way of getting me in to tell me something)

I arrived in the clinic and was taken straight through to see the doctor - this was different as i usually had to wait for ages (and the waiting room was full). the doctor sat me down and took my hand and said we have not been able to test you again for syphillis as all your blood has been used because i am sorry to tell you, you have tested positive for HIV and the illnesses that you have recently had are probably your seroconversion.

I sat there in a state of shock, i didnt cry i just felt numb. as it was durring the christmas period it was busy and i was then given various booklets and a copy of living with hiv by NAM, they took loads of blood off me and i was told to return in two weeks.

I left the clinic in shock and sat in my car and cried. got home and thought that it must be a mistake. I put it behind me and had a great new year, i have returned to work and am now thinking about my illness. i am constantly tired i keep waking up in the night needing to Vomit - sometimes projectile!

I am living back in the family home with parents and really have no one to talk to - there is no chance of me telling my parents (i dont want to loose them) and since i moved back home, have lost contact with friends.

Will this vomiting, naussea and tiredness dissapear?

What happens next and how long will it be before i have to start taking meds?

Simon - Warrington England

RapidRod · « **Reply #1 on:** January 02, 2008, 08:20:33 am »

Has your test been confirmed?

NLEWLAD · « **Reply #2 on:** January 02, 2008, 08:27:33 am »

Apparently they did two tests with the the blood sample i gave and both where positive i am waiting for my final confirmation

englishgirl · « **Reply #3 on:** January 02, 2008, 10:46:31 am »

hi hon

assuming your test is confirmed by western blot...

sorry you have joined our little club but you have come to the right place for support and info. im sure your head is absolutely spinning but honestly your world is not falling apart and your life is not over. it's gonna be hard to get your head around but after a while you will be ok again xxx

the sickness etc youre experiencing may be related to seroconversion but it may just be cos you are so upset. one thing is that everyone's experience is different so no-one will be able to give you a definitive answer on that one.

there are quite a few of us from the north of england. im not in manchester but ive heard that body positive is v good as is the george house trust. you can find them by googling. sorry, i have no idea regarding services in warrington. tht would be a v good place to start. they may well have a warrington branch. call their national helpline to find out, and also for a chat. if there is a branch nearby try to go there as soon as poss and then you wont feel so alone. your local hiv orgs may also have programmes you can join to meet others and learn coping techniques. you will probably need to take tht or whatever support org a letter from the clinic confirming your diagnosis. seems crazy but there have been cases of people faking being poz to get attention!

nam is a very good source of info. their website aidsmap.com is v good also. try to get hold of the nam publication 'living with hiv' as well as the booklets. it's free to pozzies so if you cant get one thru the clinic/a support org then give them a bell and they will send you one.

it doesnt feel like it now, but you are in a really good position to have been diagnosed so soon after seroconversion as now you will be able to have data on your illness basically from almost day one. this puts you in a v good position regarding blood history and treatment decisions. you are probably not gonna need treatment for a while if you have just seroconverted. at the moment it is likely that you have a fairly high vl and maybe a low cd4. in about 6 months they should stabilise. you'll probably have to go every 3 mths for bloods. the first few times are hard cos it is making it real every time you go, but after a while you get used to it and it's no biggie.

the gum clinic is where you will get all your hiv treatment. they will probably take a ton of blood off you now and run a resistance panel so that you know all the data to inform later treatment decisions.

as you have a lot to mentally process at the moment it might be an idea to tell people around you that something is wrong to explain being upset. i was advised to do this when i was diagnosed cos it means that people know you are upset but dont pry as to why. i told work etc that a (fictional) friend had died, didnt give any details, seemed to do the trick. at some point you may want to disclose to your parents etc, but there's plenty of time to decide that sort of thing. it is v doubtful that you would lose them - take a look at the 'someone i care about' forum and you will see there are lots of parents who care deeply for their poz kids and are so glad that they know and can support them. also, living a lie is bad for you mentally, so it would be good if eventually you can talk to some people about it. this is why tht/bp/ght is a good place to start.

lastly, try not to live think and breathe hiv cos diagnosis is too big to get your head around all at once. there is so much info out there (and a lot of it utter crap so DONT go trawling the internet!!) but you have years and years to find shit out, you dont need to know it all now. if you have recently seroconverted you will probably not have to understand about meds for a while yet, and you may decide you dont ever want to 'understand' you just want to leave that to the drs.

hope this has helped. ive been poz since seroconversion june 05, tested july 05, so hopefully this will give you an idea of where your head will be at in a couple of years - it's just another part of my life, and not the biggest either.

(((big hugs)))

NLEWLAD · « **Reply #4 on:** January 02, 2008, 11:34:27 am »

Hi Englishgirl,

Thank you for your comments, i am not sure what a western blot is all that happened when i was poz, they took lots of blood from me and my doctor - who is very nice said that she thinks that my spate of illness is a seroconversion

All i can think about at the moment is being poz, its in my head every moment, i have even got myself a different towel at home (i know i carnt pass it on like that but i am just making sure) i have been washing my hands every 20 mins or so, i have started taking lots of vitamins - and have done what you said dont do, been looking on the net.

I get upset and angry at myself then i think oh ill be ok, my head is totally confused.

this wait for the confirmation is unbearable at the moment.

Is it more likely that i am than not?

Thanks,

Simon

englishgirl · « **Reply #5 on:** January 02, 2008, 02:14:36 pm »

the western blot is the most reliable test, they usually use it to confirm the first positive test, which may have been done using a different test called elisa, which occasionally turns up false positives.

Quote from: NLEWLAD on January 02, 2008, 11:34:27 am

Is it more likely that i am than not?

im afraid you will just have to wait and see. i dont want to say 'definitely yes' because there are so many 'am i infected' people who could read this and think it applies to their imagined seroconversion 'symptoms' - but at this point i would advise you to follow the advice given by your doctor, who seems pretty sure that you are poz.

when are you back at the clinic?

NLEWLAD · « **Reply #6 on:** January 02, 2008, 02:37:46 pm »

back at the clinic on monday so not long to wait. will let you know the outcome.

simon

komnaes · « **Reply #7 on:** January 02, 2008, 10:58:30 pm »

Hey Simon, best wishes to you!

While you're waiting maybe it's worthwhile seeking out some local support and counseling groups. I don't know if they have this type of services in your area but in where I am (Hong Kong), if timing allows, the two local groups can send trained counselors to go with anyone getting their results. Even if they can't offer to go with you it is also a good idea to air out your concerns and fears as these waiting moments can really drag on, especially when you're already not feeling well physically.

You said it's not an option to tell your family. How about some trusted friends? I went through this rather confusing process too, though a bit different - my first Elisa was +, then the Western blot "undetermined", then of course it eventually tested +. The first two things I did was to call up a local counseling group and to grab my most trusted friend to go to the clinic with me. They have helped me tremendously.

Again, I wish you luck!

Shaun

NLEWLAD · « **Reply #8 on:** January 03, 2008, 05:24:03 pm »

Hay Shaun,

Thank you for your post, i rang an organisation that englishgirl recomended today, George House Trust, they where very supportive, they went through with me what happened at my diagnosis explained the reason for the further test and have asked me to contact them again after monday when i get confirmation or not, they have recomended that i book an apointment to go and see them as i am only half an hours drive from there offices.

will keep you all posted with whats happening.

Simon

sweetasmeli · « **Reply #9 on:** January 04, 2008, 06:46:09 am »

Hello Simon

There's also Cheshire and North Wales Body Positive http://www.bpcnw.co.uk/welcome.htm; they're based in Crewe but I believe their client support workers have regular contact with Warrington sexual health/GUM clinics; I've found them a huge support throughout the last 5 years (my diagnosis was also a belated Christmas pressie in Dec '02 by the way so I can empathise).

Debra

Andy Velez · « **Reply #10 on:** January 05, 2008, 08:15:31 pm »

Hello, Simon,

I am glad you have found your way here. Welcome even if you would just as soon not need to be here. I do expect from what you have reported that you are HIV positive.

The physical and emotional reactions you are having are ones which many experience. It's very understandable that for now you may feel overwhelmed and shocked and a myriad of other feelings. Gradually things will begin to settle into place and you'll realize that yes, life is going to go on and it will still be a good life, albeit with some different components than before. Most important is establishing a good working partnership with your doctor, one in which you are really partners in keeping you well.

That's also excellent that you have made contact with a support group. Gradually you will learn everything you need to know and do to stay well. This initial symptomatic phase is going to pass and you'll begin to feel more like your old self. The lessons on this site should be helpful as well. You're always welcome here to ask questions or share anything that's on your mind. You'll find members to be generous and informed in responding.

Again, welcome.

NLEWLAD · « **Reply #11 on:** January 06, 2008, 04:41:35 pm »

Hi Andy,

Thank you for your kind and supportive words, the unwell feelings are seem to be slowly dissapearing apart from the tiredness, and again this morning i had horiffic indijestion.

well i am going to the clinic tomorrow (late afternoon) to find out if i have joined most of you and actually am positive.

reading the messages on not only my thread but other threads has been very supportive, and i dont feel that my world will crash down. it will be time to take stock of my life and look at ways to improve it.

If i am positive i have lots and lots of questions i would like everyones comments on like sex, love and relationships at the moment this positive result has totally put me off sex. and i used to be very a big flert.

i am feeling good today (possibly my citalopram kicking in) will post again with my results tomorrow evening (uk time)

anniebc · « **Reply #12 on:** January 06, 2008, 05:11:01 pm »

Quote

If i am positive i have lots and lots of questions i would like everyones comments on like sex, love and relationships at the moment this positive result has totally put me off sex. and i used to be very a big flert

Well you have come to the right place, as you have already seen the guys here will give you all the support you need and will answer any questions you have..so don't be shy in asking for their help.

Will be thinking of you tomorrow from "The land of the long white cloud" that's NZ in case you didn't know..

Hugs
Jan

keyite · « **Reply #13 on:** January 07, 2008, 10:09:06 am »

Hi Simon - others have given very good advice and I can't really add much to that - so just to say I, too, am glad you found this place. Hope it turns out to be a false positive, but if not then I can tell you it does get easier with time - I know it won't seem like that's possible right now. It's been about 16 months for me and although it has been a very bumpy ride I am gradually coming to terms and integrating it. Bit by bit. Highly recommend making use of support groups, courses, etc - whatever is going, in fact - I'm in London and here it's easy to find but I'm sure there are groups available through the organisations mentioned by others. Seeking out other poz people has been absolutely instrumental for me in that first year. Again, a warm welcome!

NLEWLAD · « **Reply #14 on:** January 07, 2008, 03:36:53 pm »

back from clinic now

I have tested positive again so my doctor has diagnosed me HIV+

My CD4 is 1273
Viral Load 100,232

englishgirl · « **Reply #15 on:** January 07, 2008, 03:44:17 pm »

hi simon
well, sorry to have it confirmed but congratulations on a massive cd4, that is very good!
i see youre online now so instead of writing more i shall ask how you are feeling?

NLEWLAD · « **Reply #16 on:** January 07, 2008, 03:50:37 pm »

Not sure to be honest, my head is totally in a daze i think, all i can think about is HIV i spent most of today at work reading up stuff on the net, my doctor was supprisingly jolly with me and said more or less wha you said, she said never mind the diagnosis - look at that cd4 count, its fantastic she said it will be a good few years before i am handing you over any medication!

I am not sure how i am ment to feel at the moment, i know because i have been told by a few people that i am not being very social, at this moment i am sat upstairs in my bedroom, and have been doing so since i first got told. i dont feel upset, and i dont feel angry the best way to describe my feelings is confused.

I have got to go back for more bloods in 4 weeks.

englishgirl · « **Reply #17 on:** January 07, 2008, 03:59:43 pm »

oh hon, we've all been there it's not a happy time mentally just after diagnosis - confused is normal feeling.

now get yourself asap to some of those support orgs we told you about so they can help you through this. and keep talking to us as well - we'll get you through!

NLEWLAD · « **Reply #18 on:** January 07, 2008, 04:03:47 pm »

I will be contacting the george house trust tomorrow, they told me to contact them after confirmation to arrange a visit there. at the moment i am overwhelmed with all the information i have to take in. i am pleased with my cd4 count, years and years of eating lots of greens and fruit has paid off. i will probably panic when it starts to drop because of my high VL count.

englishgirl · « **Reply #19 on:** January 07, 2008, 04:14:11 pm »

your high vl is probably due to the fact youre in seroconversion, it will probably drop in the next 6 mths

good luck at ght they will help you out. and as for the information you need to take in - you have plenty of time for all that, take your time!

NLEWLAD · « **Reply #20 on:** January 07, 2008, 04:17:42 pm »

hopefully it will drop am i right in saying the higher your vl the quicker your cd4 drops?

NLEWLAD · « **Reply #21 on:** January 10, 2008, 05:47:22 pm »

got a bit depressed tonight, think its comming home what has happened to me, the initial feeling is turning into a bit of upset. i have done a bit of cyring to day i have realised i carnt pick and choose partners and also am worried about getting into a relationship

Liouxie Lioux · « **Reply #22 on:** January 26, 2008, 06:30:50 am »

Quel coincidence. Dec. 28 was the day I found out my status, too. Stay strong, you and I will both be okay.

longpinkamazing · « **Reply #23 on:** January 30, 2008, 02:59:52 pm »

Hiya.
I am so sorry to hear your news.
I cant really tell you what to do except take a day at a time.
I was tested poz in aug 06 and i am still trying to come to terms with it and some days get so mad and cry.
I am on meds and the tiredness is a burden but i dont let it get to me otherwise i feel worse.

Take care.

Brigitte

NLEWLAD · « **Reply #24 on:** February 01, 2008, 04:02:14 pm »

thanks brigette,

water duck · « **Reply #25 on:** February 02, 2008, 06:27:42 am »

This emotional 'roller coaster' ride has just began !!

So dear Simon, it is best, you sit back be comfortable, hold on tight, and 'try' to enjoy the ride, and not try to 'fight' it.

WHEN we get on this 'train' we not going to 'get off' in the very near future.
So you either manage the virus , or let it 'managed' you.

There are 'eyes and ears ' here for you, just scream ..................

Wd

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Author Topic: Tested Poz 28th December feeling unwell day on day off (Read 14089 times)