POZ Community Forums
Main Forums => Someone I Care About Has HIV => Topic started by: revjenn on January 06, 2007, 10:26:26 pm
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Hello.
I am new to the forum. I guess I'm just looking for community. Three years ago my husband and I adopted our daughter through Child Protectie Services. She was two at the time and was our foster child to start with. We knew at the time before she came to live with us that she was HIV positive. At the time we focused on getting her the right doctors, finding out what we needed to know to care for her, and just all the other issues that come with being new parents. So, we never had that, "O, my God" moment when we "found out;" we just always knew. So I guess I put off feeling the grief that might coming with knowing that a loved one is HIV positive. She is doing great, she's never been sick and is growing and doing all the things a 5yr does...I guess recently I've been feeling some saddness that I'd put off feeling.
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Hi, revjenn!
This part of the forums is still pretty new, so I am hoping the 'loved ones' segment of the community will bloom further as word gets out. Meantime, I welcome you here! Your little girl is so very lucky to have you and your husband.
Tim
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Hi Jenn, and welcome to AIDSmeds!
I have such a deep admiration for parents who adopt HIV+ children. She is indeed lucky to have you for a Mom! Are there any support groups for parents/friends of People living with HIV in your area?
Hugs,
Alan
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Hulloos! I'm so glad you posted here. Welcome. Please feel free to share stories of your daughter -- the cute, weird, wonderful things that 5-year-olds say and do -- or even a picture if you're comfortable with that. We'd love to hear more about her as well as you and your husband.
Jay
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Dear Rev,
Welcome! I'm glad you have found your way to our site.
Have you found there to be any particular difficulties for you to deal with in relation to your daughter's status? And what kind of support have you had for any needs? Is your daughter in school now?
You don't by any means have to limit your comments to only HIV, so just tell us anything you'd like to.
It's wonderful to know you have created such a loving family together.
Cheers,
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Hey revjenn,
Welcome! As Alan said you're charting new territory here at AIDSmeds and we (those of us, most infected with HIV, who have been using the site) hope you and many more folks in similar situations make use of this new forum.
I also applaud you for adopting a child who needs the same love and care uninfected children do. Special people like you are more rare than we would wish.
I'd like to ask, if you don't mind, if your daughter has blood work done and what her numbers are? If it's none of my business feel free to say so!
I look forward to hearing more.
Take care,
Boo
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I think it is great that you adopted a poz child. I agree with Boo in wishing there were more people like you. I think the sadness you may feel is because of the love you have for your daughter considering what she has to live with. I hope I said that right. Any parent would be concerned about their child's health whether it was hiv, cancer, or the common cold. It's called being a good parent.
(who was also adopted at age 12)
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MY heart just was uplifted with your story. I am so happy that there are people like you willing to take care of children in need, especially those with HIV. You are to be commended. My friend has a child with HIV.
She was born with it. She is 16 and doing great. At first they had told her it was leukemia which is much worse. She takes her meds and leads a normal life.
rob
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Thanks everyone for your encouraging comments. It really warms my heart to read your words and I also feel a since of relief. There aren't too many people that I can talk to in my community. My girl is an amazing person. I'm the blessed one to have her in my life. She's very healthy and she has a joy for life that constantly inspires me. Everyone that knows her--kids her age, our friends, her teachers--they all are drawn to her because she is so outgoing and finds fun in everything. She's in pre-k right now and only goes to school three days a week. I just want for her what any mom would want--her to be happy, for others to treat her with love and respect, and for her to pursue her dreams.
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Hi Jenn
A very warm welcome to you and your family, I can't really add anymore to what the guys have said, I think that little girl was truely blessed the day you and your husband came into her life.
As Andy said if there is anything in particular you are having problems with please don't hesitate in letting us know, we may not always have the answers for you, but one thing you can be sure of is you will never be without the support of forum.
Hope to hear more from you, and let us know how the wee one gets on.
Hugs to you all
Jan :-*
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Hi Revjenn,
Welcome to the community. You are in the right place for support, care and education.
I know how you feel because my son is also HIV+. He was diagnosed when he was 2yrs, and now he is 8. He is thriving very well, healthy, undectectable for the past 6yrs, and intelligent. It saddens me sometimes to see him go through this, but i know he will pull through it. There are many other kids like yours who have reached adolescence with this condition. So, take courage, your daughter will do well.
I admire your strength. You are doing a very heroic job. Just the other day, a children's services social worker and I were discussing foster care and protection needs of positive kids, and realized a lot of unmet needs. Thanks for your support and care. We need more people like you.
May the good Lord bless you all.
Regards, DannyK
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Hello Revjenn,
Being adopted myself at the age of five, I remember the fears that maybe my new parents would abandon me just like my birth parents (who had been both killed in an auto accident) but that never came to pass. They worked hard to nurture a sense of family and like them you are both to be thanked for opening your hearts, especially to a child with special needs. I am also a parent and just went through a cancer scare with my only daughter, so I understand the trepidation you feel about her health.
If I can offer any advice it is to help your daughter incorporate her HIV as part of her reality and to help guide her when she needs some support. I suspect you know most of this and while it is natural to worry as a parent, I would hope you would suppress that and just let her grow.
As an adopted child I cannot even begin to tell you the love and gratitude that will bond your family and how she will feel when she discovers she is adopted. As I look back now, I was very lucky that two sets of parents opened their hearts to me and your daughter will feel just the same. It is a very comforting thought that has helped to anchor me all these years and you just must believe that she will continue to grow and prosper.
As long as she has you both by her side, she can reach for the stars. HIV will never define her, but it does dictate some of her reality. For now, just enjoy and one last thought, when she is old enough, please answer her questions honestly, even if is uncomfortable for you, because she needs your honesty. You are headed in the right direction and while we cannot tell you what the future will hold, we can always walk with you on your journey.
This forum is a very powerful place and when you need something, all you need do is ask. Welcome to the forums.
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People like you give me hope.
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You are truely an angel...