POZ Community Forums
Main Forums => Living With HIV => Topic started by: optimuseyes on November 09, 2006, 10:53:59 pm
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My name is Tony and I am 31 y/o living in Atlanta. I tested positive 3 weeks ago after having a routine (every 6-8 months) test. Needless to say, I was very surprised and found myself initally distraught. The logical side of myself quickly took hold and I went immediatetly into survival and information gathering mode. I found an IM doctor that is considered the best among professional practitioners here in town. I got my first set of numbers last week and the news was good...718CD4/5,000VL. I am fortunate to have lived a healthy and active life before my diagnosis and will continue to do the same.
I have been seeing a therapist for a couple years for issues involving isolation and abandoment. My therapist has been a blessing and having him to talk to openly and honestly about what I am feeling and fearing has been pivotal in keeping my head level and my soul calm.
I have some concerns involving outreach in this area and my ability to find a peer group that I believe will help me better understand what is to come and what I can do today to live a more meaningful life. So, I am again blessed to have found this forum. I've been reading through some of the post for the past couple of days and am grateful for the volume of information provide to those of us who are new to this or those who have fought it and survived for years. I believe the connection between these 2 groups helps us all feel less isolated and more a part of a greater fight.
I do have a fews questions that I hope you guys can help me with:
1. Do any of you take Olive Leaf Extract and if so, have you experienced any significant changes in overall health?
2. Are there any other members from Atlanta? What groups or organizations have you found support you?
3. How have any of you found dating after being diagnosed poz? Dating was hard enough for me before and I fear that I may never have the courage to approach a guy again. (btw...2 days after I told the news to the guy I had been dating for 2 months, he decided things were too serious and broke things off) *remember those abandoment issues I mentioned before?
Thanks again to you all for your courage in sharing your experiences, your fears, your stuggles and especially your words of encouragement and success. They are invaluble to those of us just now learning to live with HIV.
Tony
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Hi Tony,
Good for you for being so active with all of this! :)
I took my time with dating, cuz I to have abandonment issues or I think I am just spoiled, so I have a HELL of a time when I don't get my way... anyway, I have come to accept being positive and it is getting easier to disclose to guys. This is just part of who I am and I have decided it will not keep me from the things I want. I just don't think it is such a drama anymore and I think guys respect that. I am very careful and thoughtful with them and make them feel comfortable. Gosh, I am growing up... who would have thought?
There are some wonderful people in the world... keep on livin and givin...
Bests,
Drew
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Tony,
Now a new stage in your life has begun. Life is changed, not ended. This "journey" began a little more than a year ago for me. One of the first impulses I had was to "disclose." Thankfully for me, I found this site (like you did) and began to voraciously read everything I could find. It became clear to me to hold the line on disclosing (except to my doctor and one trusted friend.) The idea is for you to become adjusted to this "new reality." It will take time.
As I read your post, you seem well integrated. Use your access to therapy (since this is a trusted place) for disclosure and allow yourself to become stronger. I hope you will read and post here...it was so helpful for me and I suspect it will be similarly helpful to you.
There is a great wealth of medical information. It takes time and patience to digest. This community here will support you as you begin this new journey. I hope we will keep hearing from you.
Gary
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Hey Optimuseyes,
Gary IS right. Your Journey has just begun. We are here to give you a helping hand on your journey.
I wish to extend to you a warm WELCOME here at the forums. Here you will find the encouragement, communication, understanding, support, some cries, some laughter, and many of your questions relating to HIV/AIDS answered.
We have a great group of Real people who will listen as well as answer you. We are here to encourage one another and to learn from each other.
Talking to other people helps us see that we are not the only ones with problems. Feel free to come and vent with whatever is on your mind from time-to-time as it is highly therapeutic.
In the interim, you may want to start taking a multi-vitamin, Omega 3 and eat a diet high in fruits, vegetables, whole grains, lean protein, and low-fat dairy and avoid processed foods, saturated and trans fats. This will also help you maintain a healthy weight.
Exercise at least three times per week for a minimum of 30 minutes.
Make the BEST of each and every Day!
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Welcome to the forums, Tony. I think that by working around the larger poz.com site you should be able to track down either a peer support group directly or a service organisation in your area which can then tell you what it knows about them locally. Then again, as shown in a recent thread, when one person from one city posts, others from that city or town usually find him or her. I have no knowledge to offer with your herbal question but will offer the general caution we have working with the mentally challenged (my work, not a comment about you or others): anything you take could potentially cause an interaction with anything else that you are taking, so do make sure, if you take it, that if you then start on meds which, from your post, I don't think that you are currently doing, that you let you medical doctor know that you are taking it just in case. I can do better with your last question. Since you comment: 'Dating was hard enough for me before' whatever the issues were before testing positive will be the issues you deal with now in addition to which you have your diagnosis. The answer which many of us have come to with your comment: 'and I fear that I may never have the courage to approach a guy again' is to make use of such free resources as the personals section of poz.com, making your hiv status a given and so, in your case, not a likely reason for abandonment. We do post about dating experiences regularly and there still is a great deal of stress when someone meets someone who doesn't know his hiv status, things start off well and then the announcement is made. At the same time, we have had a recent thread and more than one forum member's experience showing that disclosure of hiv may actually not make a difference, that the, in these cases, hiv negative person accepts the situation. I hope that you find peer support quickly since that should, along with the forums, bring you into the family of the hiv positive. Best, Win
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Hi Tony,
Welcome to the forums! It sounds like you are dealing pretty well with it all. Therapy is an excellent thing. It will help you to handle the changes and the future ahead of you.
Christine
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Tony,
Welcome to the forums. As others have told you and I am sure you have already figured it out, that this is not the end, just a change. You seem to be taking a very proactive approach and that is good. Dating should not be any more of a problem than it presented to you before. The people you approach for a date will still judge you on how you look, act, etc.. HIV won't change that aspect and the only thing that will is how you look at it. Stick around the forums you will witness others issues on this subject and how they deal with it.
Best of luck!
Thomas
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Hi Tony,
WELCOME!
Glad you found us!
Hugs
Teresa
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Hi Tony,
wellcome.
i had recently posted here about dating a neg guy, and being rejected after a marvellous week as i was honest to tell him what i got...
If there is life, there is always hope. And it is not only about guys, is it?
greets
o
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And it is not only about guys, is it?
You're absolutely right. Life is not all about guys. But, I find that since I want to adopt kids (preferably with a man that I love) dating is hard enough. It seems most of the guys that I have been interested either don't want kids or don't know if they might want them someday. Since there is no doubt that I do, I have dated very little.
So, now having to find a guy who wants kids and can accept that I am HIV+, seems that much harder. Make sense? I have read some success stories here that have given me some glimmer of hope :)
Tony
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Welcome aboard.
Having adoptive kids and being poz is a tall order but I'm sure it exists in someone else's mind outside your own. Hope it all comes together for you.
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I'm from Atlanta. I went to meetings at the BRAC Center (Absolute Wellness) for about a year after I was diagnosed. I'm not sure they're still open, but they moved a couple years ago to Loehmann's Plaza, off N. Druid Hills Rd., near Absolute Care. There are also meetings sponsored by AIDS Survival Project.