The Hater’s Guide To The Williams-Sonoma Catalog

[Matty the Damned]

When biscuits are $72 a set you that it's that time of year.



MtD

[Jeff G]

This is my favorite quote from the guide : Notes from Drew: Why have an ordinary rimjob when you can add just a touch of Madagascar vanilla? That's how classy folk do their rimming.

And speaking of crap ... I once got caught up in a buying binge at a sharper image store and bought an electric scooter . It arrived at my house off a freight truck in a filthy busted up box with a defective scooter inside . I got such a run around on the phone with them that my credit card company took pity on me and reversed the charges . I took the scooter and the filthy box it came in back to the mall , drug the nasty thing about 3 feet into the store and walked out while the store manager who was no help to me at all was shrieking at me saying sir you cant return that item here . 

[emeraldize]

Thanks so much. It's been quite a while since I laughed aloud. THIS is a great read.

[WillyWump]

This is my favorite quote from the guide : Notes from Drew: Why have an ordinary rimjob when you can add just a touch of Madagascar vanilla? That's how classy folk do their rimming.

LMAO.

and the fruit cakes from the Redneck monks was pretty funny too

[red_Dragon888]

This is my favorite quote from the guide : Notes from Drew: Why have an ordinary rimjob when you can add just a touch of Madagascar vanilla? That's how classy folk do their rimming.

And speaking of crap ... I once got caught up in a buying binge at a sharper image store and bought an electric scooter . It arrived at my house off a freight truck in a filthy busted up box with a defective scooter inside . I got such a run around on the phone with them that my credit card company took pity on me and reversed the charges  . I took the scooter and the filthy box it came in back to the mall , drug the nasty thing about 3 feet into the store and walked out while the store manager who was no help to me at all was shrieking at me saying sir you cant return that item here .

It almost sounded like a nice rhyme so I took liberty and this is what I came up with finally.  enjoy...

And speaking of Crap

I once got caught up in a buying binge
At a sharper image store
And bought an electric scooter
It arrived at my door

Off a freight truck it came
In a filthy busted up box
Was a defective scooter inside
I thought WTF

I got such a run around
On the phone with that dam store
That my credit company took pity on me
And reversed the charges back

But hold on the tale continues yet
I took the scooter and the filthy box
Back to the mall
Dragged the nasty thing about
Three feet into the sharper image store

And walked out
While the store manager
Who was no help to me at all
Was shrieking at me saying
"Sir, you can't return that item here."

But with a smile and wink
I was made up in my head
I had laid this crap to rest
And yelled back "drop dead."

[red_Dragon888]

When biscuits are $72 a set you that it's that time of year.



MtD

The whole article had me rolling...

[Jeff G]

Thanks Red_D . I can use an editor 

[red_Dragon888]

Thanks Red_D . I can use an editor 

Glad you liked it...   

[intaglio]

Saw a link to this on another website. When I got to the part about the fruitcake made by Assumption monks in the Missouri Ozarks, I googled where these monks were located. It turns out they're based in Ava, Mo.

Ava, Mo. just so happens to be where Cactus Canyon is, too. For those of you not in the know, so to speak, Cactus Canyon is a clothing-optional resort for men.

So, if you go to Ava, you can have your choice of fruitcake-toting trappist monks or non-fruitcake-toting naturists.

Disclaimer: My family used to receive a trappist-monk fruitcake every few years from my godparents. They were good, as fruitcake goes. Plus you can still get the fruitcakes directly from the monks without having to go through Williams-Sonoma.

[thunter34]

Cactus Canyon sounds very uncomfortable for a nudist.

[emeraldize]

Cactus Canyon sounds very uncomfortable for a nudist.

Thinking the same thing unless one is a complete prick.