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Author Topic: Oral on a Leaky (precum) Penis  (Read 22604 times)

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Offline rick_nh

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Oral on a Leaky (precum) Penis
« on: June 15, 2006, 09:31:07 pm »
I gave a guy oral sex last night. He did not know his HIV (or other STD) status when I asked him, but he said he didn't think he had anything. I know that he has swallowed loads in the past, and may have received unprotected anal sex.

When I was going down on him he suddenly grabbed my head and repeatedly pushed his penis into the back of my mouth very roughly, pummelling my uvula and tonsils. I'm concerned because I know the tonsils are a direct line into the lymphatic system. I tried to pull away but he had a strong grip. I don't think he realized that I was struggling. I finally pulled away and realized that his penis was very leaky with precum because I could taste it.

Today my throat is red and raw. It is only now starting to get sore, just over 24 hours later.

Please give me your honest opinion to determine my risk for HIV infection.

Thank you.

Offline RapidRod

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Re: Oral on a Leaky (precum) Penis
« Reply #1 on: June 15, 2006, 09:35:44 pm »
Saliva, inhibits HIV. Of course your throat will be red and sore, you gave the guy a blowjob.

Offline jkinatl2

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Re: Oral on a Leaky (precum) Penis
« Reply #2 on: June 15, 2006, 09:37:24 pm »
Perhaps the most minimal possible risk. I wouldn't think to test over it, much less post to the forum. Oral sex appears to be a vanishingly small risk, as it has not, to date, been duplicated in quantifiable studies with serodiscordant partners.

Of course, there are a ton of other STDs which are passed through oral sex, so a twice-yearly STD panel, including an HIV test, is ALWAYS the responsible thing for a sexually active adult with multiple partners to do.

But I would hardly call that an HIV situation.

"Many people, especially in the gay community, turn to oral sex as a safer alternative in the age of AIDS. And with HIV rates rising, people need to remember that oral sex is safer sex. It's a reasonable alternative."

-Kimberly Page-Shafer, PhD, MPH

Welcome Thread

Offline rick_nh

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Re: Oral on a Leaky (precum) Penis
« Reply #3 on: June 16, 2006, 12:07:03 am »
I do feel relieved. If anyone else has anything to add, I'd be glad to hear it.

Thank you both (and also thank you to your other colleagues who also answer questions) for your tireless efforts on this board. I know it must be sometimes difficult to answer the same questions over and over again.

I really appreciate what you do.
« Last Edit: June 16, 2006, 12:38:11 am by rick_nh »

Offline Ann

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Re: Oral on a Leaky (precum) Penis
« Reply #4 on: June 16, 2006, 05:56:48 am »
rick,

I agree with Jonathan - your risk was minimal at best.

However, while your sore throat could be simply caused by the rough blowjob, it could also be caused by one of the STIs like chlamydia or gonorrhea. It would be prudent of you to have your throat checked out for these if the sore throat persists for more than a day.

And while you don't really need to be tested for hiv over this, anyone who is sexually active should be having a full sexual health care check-up, including but not limited to hiv testing, at least once or twice a year and more often if unprotected intercourse occurs. If you aren't already having regular, routine check-ups, now is the time to start. As long as you make sure condoms are being used for intercourse, you can fully expect your routine hiv tests to return with negative results. Don't forget to always get checked for all the other sexually transmitted infections as well, because they are MUCH easier to transmit than hiv.

I remember you from your thread in the old forum. I hope you're feeling better now, and I hope you've checked out the links in my signature line and learned from them. It really is possible to enjoy your sexuality and avoid hiv infection at the same time.

And if you haven't already, please check out the Welcome Thread and follow the Lessons links found there.

Ann
Condoms are a girl's best friend

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"...health will finally be seen not as a blessing to be wished for, but as a human right to be fought for." Kofi Annan

Nymphomaniac: a woman as obsessed with sex as an average man. Mignon McLaughlin

HIV is certainly character-building. It's made me see all of the shallow things we cling to, like ego and vanity. Of course, I'd rather have a few more T-cells and a little less character. Randy Shilts

Offline rick_nh

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Re: Oral on a Leaky (precum) Penis
« Reply #5 on: June 16, 2006, 10:19:03 am »
Yep, that was my previous post, and this is the same guy. I tracked him down to ask him more questions about our previous encounter, then ended up having sex with him again.  ::)  I wonder if I'll ever learn to stay away from strangers?!

His history of unsafe sex practices were a warning sign that I chose to ignore in the heat of lust. Funny how that works.

I do plan to get tested for HIV in 3-6 months, and for other STIs sooner than that. I have only been with this one guy since my last conclusive negative HIV/STI checkup, so if I do happen to get anything, I'll know it was from him, and orally transmitted.

Yes, I did check out the Welcome Thread, and also the links from the "Is Oral Really Rare?" thread, parts of which I found to be a little less optimistic than I had hoped:

http://www.aegis.com/news/ads/2002/AD022319.html

http://www.gayhealth.com/templates/1149943587375821502878/news?record=647&trycookie=1?record=647

I was surprised to see that there are so many conflicting articles on that gayhealth.com site!!

-----

On a related note, I feel confident that I'll have no problem in the future using condoms for oral sex (with strangers or with guys I don't know well enough, or guys I don't trust). I have found some polyurethane condoms that I really like. The problem I've always had with latex condoms is the way they smell and taste. I have tried latex condoms for oral in the past, but the smell alone made me gag. Polyurethane condoms, I have found, are virtually scent-less!

One thing about polyurethane condoms, though, is that they can be a little hard to find unless you order them online, and when you do find them, they are usually lubricated. Of the two main brands of polyurethane condoms, one is lubricated with spermicide, but the other is not. The ones I bought at the store have the spermicide, but I plan to buy the kind WITHOUT spermicide, because I found out through further research that spermicide can be an irritant to some people who are sensitive. Another good thing is that polyurethane condoms supposedly "transmit heat better," allowing for a more sensual feel than latex. (I should mention that if you want to use polyurethane condoms for anal sex, do your research beforehand, because there haven't been as many studies on efficacy and breakage than there have been for latex condoms.)

I plan to use the "hooker method" of using my mouth and hand to roll on the condom for oral, so that the guy is barely aware that it's happening, but I'm not really concerned with if the guy I'm blowing wants to complain about protected oral. I'm trying to adopt a new attitude that if a guy isn't concerned with his or my safety, then he isn't worth my blow-job!

Overkill? Maybe... but if I can get past this and come out HIV-negative, I want to make sure that I never go through this agony of wondering again.
« Last Edit: June 16, 2006, 11:28:55 am by rick_nh »

Offline Ann

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Re: Oral on a Leaky (precum) Penis
« Reply #6 on: June 16, 2006, 11:30:51 am »
Quote
I'm trying to adopt a new attitude that if a guy isn't concerned with his or my safety, then he isn't worth my blow-job!

Rick,

Absolutely right on! Anyone who doesn't put the health and safty of both of you first, then he isn't worth giving the time of day to, much less a blowjob.

Don't forget to have your throat looked at if the soreness persists - but don't worry about hiv in this situation. Just keep up with your regular, routine sexual health care check ups and you'll be ok. OK?

Ann
Condoms are a girl's best friend

Condom and Lube Info  

"...health will finally be seen not as a blessing to be wished for, but as a human right to be fought for." Kofi Annan

Nymphomaniac: a woman as obsessed with sex as an average man. Mignon McLaughlin

HIV is certainly character-building. It's made me see all of the shallow things we cling to, like ego and vanity. Of course, I'd rather have a few more T-cells and a little less character. Randy Shilts

Offline rick_nh

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Re: Oral on a Leaky (precum) Penis
« Reply #7 on: June 18, 2006, 09:08:57 am »
I wouldn't think to test over it, much less post to the forum. ...I would hardly call that an HIV situation.

Thanks, jkinatl2

Ordinarily, I wouldn't either, but the factors that made me post were:

1. The roughness of the way he was shoving his penis into my throat, and the tender tonsil area (possibly doing damage?).
2. The amount of pre-cum involved
3. His sexual history, which I found out later was hundreds of men, and he has never been tested, and flat-out refused to get tested for me. (I really didn't think he would, but I asked anyway.) His attitude was basically that he didn't care if he was infected, and he didn't care if he infected anyone else.

I'm not ordinarily a deep-throater. My usual technique is to keep the penis very shallow in my mouth, with lots of saliva and mostly hand-work to give extra sensation without having to take the penis into my mouth as much. I was not allowed that opportunity in this situation because he basically grabbed my head tightly and skull-fucked me hard. I struggled but was too weak and dumb to fight back, I guess. Of all the people to choose for sex, this guy was definitely a BAD choice.

I know that I am responsible for my own choices and actions, and that whatever happens, there's no turning back the clock.
« Last Edit: June 27, 2006, 07:50:59 am by rick_nh »

Offline Ann

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Re: Oral on a Leaky (precum) Penis
« Reply #8 on: June 18, 2006, 09:38:10 am »
Rick,

If you're worried, get tested, simple as that. Just don't be surprised at a negative result.

Next time someone does that to you - well, you've got your teeth, use them. I would. You don't have to really hurt them or break the skin, but a bit of discomfort will make them back off. (trust me, it works!) A grab and twist to the testicles works too. ;)

Ann
Condoms are a girl's best friend

Condom and Lube Info  

"...health will finally be seen not as a blessing to be wished for, but as a human right to be fought for." Kofi Annan

Nymphomaniac: a woman as obsessed with sex as an average man. Mignon McLaughlin

HIV is certainly character-building. It's made me see all of the shallow things we cling to, like ego and vanity. Of course, I'd rather have a few more T-cells and a little less character. Randy Shilts

Offline rick_nh

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Re: Oral on a Leaky (precum) Penis
« Reply #9 on: June 27, 2006, 05:41:01 am »
UPDATE: It's been about two weeks now since my possible exposure. I have calmed down quite a bit, and have started therapy for this and my many other problems.

Had a strange thing happen this morning. I woke up drenched in sweat. My t-shirt is soaked. This NEVER happens to me. It was very cool in the room due to the air conditioner, too.

I'm not ordinarily one to talk about "symptoms," but this coupled with the pains in my armpits, groin, and testicles is scaring me a little.
« Last Edit: June 27, 2006, 06:46:58 am by rick_nh »

Offline RapidRod

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Re: Oral on a Leaky (precum) Penis
« Reply #10 on: June 27, 2006, 06:57:10 am »
If you are having pain in your testicles you need to see a doctor. It's not from HIV.

Offline antix

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Re: Oral on a Leaky (precum) Penis
« Reply #11 on: June 27, 2006, 07:38:42 am »
I couldn't  help but laugh when I read this post. Talk about panicking for no real reason!
If this happens everytime you give a head job then my advice so to avoid any future concerns....is abstinence! ;D

Offline rick_nh

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Re: Oral on a Leaky (precum) Penis
« Reply #12 on: June 27, 2006, 07:47:59 am »
Antix, I'm glad you find my fears and concerns amusing. With one post, how is it that you find yourself uniquely qualified to assess my situation? What, from your experience and knowledge, makes you believe that I have no reason to be concerned?

I'm not asking you these questions in an angry way, but with great curiosity.

Thanks,
Rick

Offline Andy Velez

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Re: Oral on a Leaky (precum) Penis
« Reply #13 on: June 27, 2006, 07:59:26 am »
Rick, let's stick to the issues here rather than getting into a back and forth with Antix, (even though you say you're not angry!).

A couple of things I want to add -- you do not need to test out to 3-6 months. Three months is sufficient according to the CDC and they are quite conservative with regard to testing.

Secondly, asking a partner to test is a waste of time and energy. #1, your health is your own responsibility and not someone else's. And even if a partner reports being negative, from my point of view that's not enough. Anytime you think you have had a risky incident it's up to you to get tested and satisfy yourself about your HIV status.

In this instance I do expect you will test negative because the risk in relation to giving oral is very, very low.

Good luck with your test result.

Cheers, 
Andy Velez

Offline rick_nh

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Re: Oral on a Leaky (precum) Penis
« Reply #14 on: July 03, 2006, 08:36:53 am »
Just an update on how I'm doing, almost three weeks after my incident.

I started therapy for help in dealing with this "possible exposure" and my severe depression and self-worth issues. I had two sessions with an employee assistance counsellor provided through work, and one session with a regular therapist (a psychologist) who is sensitive to gay and lesbian issues.

My first impression is that I like her. She has a calming, caring presence. I'm looking forward to my next session with her this week. In just these few sessions, I'm starting to see how my life is one huge puzzle with many, many pieces that led me to where I am today, and to what I did with that guy. I have a very long way to fully work on getting past my self-hate issues and learn to like myself, to enjoy life, and to learn that I can let myself be happy. It's also apparent that I have a sexual addiction that leads me to occasionally seek out sex with strangers. That's another issue that must be dealt with.

If anyone reading this is going through a tough time of worry and shame, I highly encourage you to seek out therapy treatment options if you have them available to you. Most societies (hopefully) have some sort of help available for people at any income level. Reach out---you're not alone. A website like this is a wonderful place to start, but it's not the only place to get help for dealing with your issues. And in general, reaching out to real, live people (friends and professionals) is better for you than spending all day in front of the computer searching for reassurance and guidance.

I'm also trying to stop stressing myself out about my "possible exposure" incident, and I'm trying to stop constantly looking for "symptoms." I spent first two weeks in a state of incredibly high panic. I couldn't sleep or eat, my heart was always racing. I had pains in my armpits and groin. I was always racing to the mirror to look at my throat. I was constantly checking myself all over for rashes and bruises. I lost lots of weight, I had diarrhea. I had headaches and muscle aches and joint pains. I woke up several nights panicking and drenched in sweat.

But soon I began to realize that all of these "symptoms" could just as easily be attributed to the unbelievable stress I was putting on my body through two weeks of being in a heightened, extended state of panic. Basically, because of my perceived threat of upcoming danger (fearing the effects of possible exposure to HIV), my mind was putting my body's natural defenses on high alert. Also, the body's panic defense isn't intended to be used for extended periods of time --- it is intended to get you out of immediate danger ("fight or flight"). The mind can have a very powerful effect on the body.

As soon as I began to think more rationally, most of my "symptoms" subsided. Thinking rationally also made me realize that any real "symptoms" probably would not show up within the first two weeks of possible exposure, and certainly would not start showing up a day or two after possible exposure. I also realized that I've had the exact same "symptoms" in the past while in that horrible three-month waiting period between possible exposure and getting tested.

I can't turn off my worry completely, but I have started to realize that---regardless of the outcome of my test at three months---panicking isn't going to help me at all right now.

The above is solely my own experience. I'm not saying that everyone's experience is the same, and I'm certainly not saying that everything people experience after possible exposure is "all in their minds." I just wanted to share my experience to help me organize my thoughts, and to maybe help others who might be going through the same thing.

Offline rick_nh

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Re: Oral on a Leaky (precum) Penis
« Reply #15 on: July 05, 2006, 09:24:06 am »
I just remembered that I had a dental cleaning 8 days before this oral sex incident. The hygienist said I had a healthy mouth.

8 days should be enough time for my gums to heal from all of the poking and prodding of the cleaning, right?

Also, I thought of another question... if saliva inhibits HIV, why do they always say to wait several hours before brushing and/or flossing after oral sex? Shouldn't the saliva take care of any leftover precum/HIV long before that?

After my oral sex incident, I drank some orange-flavored "vitamin water" and a little while after that, gargled with Listerine. Probably would have been too late anyway, but I was starting to panic.

Offline rick_nh

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Re: Oral on a Leaky (precum) Penis
« Reply #16 on: July 09, 2006, 05:17:30 am »
I'm trying not to over-post about my topic, but stuff that's happening this weekend is raising my panic level a little bit.

I also realize that talking about symptoms is not encouraged, because symptoms or the lack of symptoms mean nothing when it comes to HIV.

However, these things are scaring me a little. I had calmed down considerably in the past week, until this weekend when I noticed a weird feeling in my mouth and throat. I checked my tongue, and on one side, way toward the back there is a large, strange cluster of growths that hurt sort of like a canker sore. They are not canker sores, though, they look like grossly overgrown tastebuds. Huge. Behind that is a strange dark red line about a centimeter long. These are only on one side of my tongue, the othere side of my tongue looks "normal." I have the same sort of pain deeper down in my throat where I can't look to see what it might be. Worried there may be some sort of sore down there.

The other things that are still driving me crazy are sharp pains in my armpits, neck, and groin, and VERY achey knee joints (and some other occasionally achey joints). I also developed a strange rash on the back of my neck, centered above my shoulder blades. No itching, but occasionally stings or has a burning sensation. These are all things I have never experienced before.

Other than that... no fever yet (I've been checking my temperature every day). Occasional diarrhea. Constant mild nausea, loss of appetite, weight loss.

My question is... I know it's too early (at 3 1/2 weeks) to get tested for HIV, but is it too soon to get tested for other STIs? I know that syphillis shares the same 13-week window period as HIV for testing. Should I just hold out until 13 weeks and get tested for EVERYTHING? I have NO problem not having sex until then. I have no desire to pass anything along to anyone else, and anyway, sex is all the way at the very bottom of my list of priorities for now. Testing in my area is every Tuesday evening from 5 - 6 pm --- that's why I'm asking now, so that I can know if I should go this week or not to get tested for the other STIs.

Thank you,

Rick.
« Last Edit: July 09, 2006, 07:18:18 am by rick_nh »

Offline Ann

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Re: Oral on a Leaky (precum) Penis
« Reply #17 on: July 09, 2006, 07:13:46 am »
Rick,

You can test for the other STIs now. And although syphilis shares a three month window period with hiv, if syphilis is actually present most people will test positive before the end of the window. They can also swab any sores present to check for syphilis.

Nothing you report sounds like hiv to me. However, that stuff in your throat could easily be one of the other STIs. The only way to know is to be seen by a doctor.

Ann
Condoms are a girl's best friend

Condom and Lube Info  

"...health will finally be seen not as a blessing to be wished for, but as a human right to be fought for." Kofi Annan

Nymphomaniac: a woman as obsessed with sex as an average man. Mignon McLaughlin

HIV is certainly character-building. It's made me see all of the shallow things we cling to, like ego and vanity. Of course, I'd rather have a few more T-cells and a little less character. Randy Shilts

Offline san_2002

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Re: Oral on a Leaky (precum) Penis
« Reply #18 on: July 09, 2006, 08:09:56 pm »
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Frequently Asked Questions   |   Home   |   Search   |   Site Map
Can I get HIV from oral sex?

Yes, it is possible for either partner to become infected with HIV through performing or receiving oral sex. There have been a few cases of HIV transmission from performing oral sex on a person infected with HIV. While no one knows exactly what the degree of risk is, evidence suggests that the risk is less than that of unprotected anal or vaginal sex.

If the person performing oral sex has HIV, blood from their mouth may enter the body of the person receiving oral sex through

    * the lining of the urethra (the opening at the tip of the penis);
    * the lining of the vagina or cervix;
    * the lining of the anus; or
    * directly into the body through small cuts or open sores.

If the person receiving oral sex has HIV, their blood, semen (cum), pre-seminal fluid (pre-cum), or vaginal fluid may contain the virus. Cells lining the mouth of the person performing oral sex may allow HIV to enter their body.

The risk of HIV transmission increases

    * if the person performing oral sex has cuts or sores around or in their mouth or throat;
    * if the person receiving oral sex ejaculates in the mouth of the person performing oral sex; or
    * if the person receiving oral sex has another sexually transmitted disease (STD).

Not having (abstaining from) sex is the most effective way to avoid HIV.

If you choose to perform oral sex, and your partner is male,

    * use a latex condom on the penis; or
    * if you or your partner is allergic to latex, plastic (polyurethane) condoms can be used.

Studies have shown that latex condoms are very effective, though not perfect, in preventing HIV transmission when used correctly and consistently. If either partner is allergic to latex, plastic (polyurethane) condoms for either the male or female can be used. For more information about latex condoms, see "Male Latex Condoms and Sexually Transmitted Diseases."

If you choose to have oral sex, and your partner is female,

    * use a latex barrier (such as a natural rubber latex sheet, a dental dam or a cut-open condom that makes a square) between your mouth and the vagina. A latex barrier such as a dental dam reduces the risk of blood or vaginal fluids entering your mouth. Plastic food wrap also can be used as a barrier.

If you choose to perform oral sex with either a male or female partner and this sex includes oral contact with your partners anus (analingus or rimming),

    * use a latex barrier (such as a natural rubber latex sheet, a dental dam or a cut-open condom that makes a square) between your mouth and the anus. Plastic food wrap also can be used as a barrier.

If you choose to share sex toys with your partner, such as dildos or vibrators,

    * each partner should use a new condom on the sex toy; and
    * be sure to clean sex toys between each use.

Offline RapidRod

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Re: Oral on a Leaky (precum) Penis
« Reply #19 on: July 09, 2006, 09:14:55 pm »
San do you know what theoretical risk means? Plus you don't have any business answering questions until you are qualified to do so and as far as I can tell you just are not qualified.

Offline rick_nh

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Re: Oral on a Leaky (precum) Penis
« Reply #20 on: July 09, 2006, 09:23:36 pm »
Would a moderator be able to delete the responses (including this one) back to Ann's last response in my thread?

San_2002's response completely freaked me out and sent me back to high panic mode. I can't take much more of this. I'm a real mess right now. ... .... ..

Thank you,

Rick
« Last Edit: July 09, 2006, 09:48:03 pm by rick_nh »

Offline ducheau

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Re: Oral on a Leaky (precum) Penis
« Reply #21 on: July 09, 2006, 10:07:14 pm »
Hi Rick,

It sounds like all of this is psychosomatic.  You're creating a hell for yourself.  And the reason why I know this is because I've gone through it before.  I am HIV - .yet   I have given many (rough) blow jobs without a condom.  And a day or two afterwards had sore throats and other annoying symptoms.  I always initially thought it was HIV, but the reality is that there's a 99.9999 chance it's not.  And If it is then you are an anomaly.  I know it's hard but you've got to stop thinking about your symptoms.  The mind is a powerful thing, and I believe can actually make yourself sick.  Unless you had open, bleeding sores in your mouth when you were performing the fellatio, don't worry about it.

Also the symptons you discuss don't really coincide with Acute HIV Sydrome.  You would be running a fever with swollen lymph nodes.  What you have sounds like self-created or stress.

The normal HIV test is not accurate for 3 months however you can have the expensive Viral Load test after about 2 weeks.   

If that's all you did I'd be willing to bet heavy that your test will be negative

d

Offline Matty the Damned

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Re: Oral on a Leaky (precum) Penis
« Reply #22 on: July 09, 2006, 10:13:16 pm »
Rick_NH,

Don't fret about it. San_2002 is full of bullshit. He's been dealt with by the Powers That Be. Just follow the advice of people like Ann, Andy, Rod etc.

Ducheau,

It's nice you want to help out, but perhaps you should leave the answering of questions to those of us who know what we're doing. You should read our Welcome Thread.

MtD

Offline Ann

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Re: Oral on a Leaky (precum) Penis
« Reply #23 on: July 09, 2006, 10:20:31 pm »
Quote
Also the symptons you discuss don't really coincide with Acute HIV Sydrome.  You would be running a fever with swollen lymph nodes.  What you have sounds like self-created or stress.

Duchea,

This is wrong, particularly the bit I but in bold print. Symptoms or the lack of symptoms mean nothing when it comes to hiv infection. The ONLY way for a person to know their hiv status is through testing.

I would appreciate it if you didn't post in other people's threads and please do not post in the Living with forum again either.

Please read through the Welcome Thread before posting further.

And people, please stop hijacking Rick's thread!

Rick, you are not likely to test positive. Please disregard san's post that he dredged up off some ultra-conservative, abstinence based web site.

Ann
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"...health will finally be seen not as a blessing to be wished for, but as a human right to be fought for." Kofi Annan

Nymphomaniac: a woman as obsessed with sex as an average man. Mignon McLaughlin

HIV is certainly character-building. It's made me see all of the shallow things we cling to, like ego and vanity. Of course, I'd rather have a few more T-cells and a little less character. Randy Shilts

Offline ducheau

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Re: Oral on a Leaky (precum) Penis
« Reply #24 on: July 09, 2006, 10:25:31 pm »
mtd,

You should really mind your own business.  Just because I am (thankfully) negative I still know a lot about HIV and how it is transmitted.  I was just trying to ease his concerns because I have been through the same thing. 

Also your language is horrible and doesn't belong in this blog

get a life.

Offline Ann

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Re: Oral on a Leaky (precum) Penis
« Reply #25 on: July 09, 2006, 10:28:16 pm »
Ducheau,

We don't mind people helping out in this forum, as long as they post correct information.

You posted incorrrect information and that is why you are being asked to not post in other people's thread. If you want to say something or ask a question, please start your own thread. Do NOT hijack this thread further.

Thank you for your cooperation.

Ann
Condoms are a girl's best friend

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"...health will finally be seen not as a blessing to be wished for, but as a human right to be fought for." Kofi Annan

Nymphomaniac: a woman as obsessed with sex as an average man. Mignon McLaughlin

HIV is certainly character-building. It's made me see all of the shallow things we cling to, like ego and vanity. Of course, I'd rather have a few more T-cells and a little less character. Randy Shilts

Offline rick_nh

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Re: Oral on a Leaky (precum) Penis
« Reply #26 on: July 19, 2006, 01:10:04 pm »
Small Update
I got tested for chlamydia, gonorrhea, and syphillis last week (4 weeks after my sexual encounter). The results came back negative today for all three tests. They didn't test me for herpes because I have not had any sores for them to swab from, so the woman at the cllinic said that most likely I do not have herpes. I will test for syphilis again at 13 weeks, to confirm the 4-week test.

OK, symptoms... I know they mean nothing when it comes to HIV, but they are so damn hard to ignore! The pains in my armpits and groin continue to drive me crazy. I never touch my armpits, but I did this morning, and felt a hard, painful lump the size of a large raisin or a small marble. Went into panic. (Update 2: more painful lumps tonight. What the hell is happening to me??!)

Also panicking because of a guy posting here on this forum about having gotten HIV through receptive oral sex with precum, but no ejaculation (He did have bleeding gums, though, whereas I did not. I cling to that fact for hope).

Joint pains and muscle aches are also still driving me crazy. Strange bruises that won't go away. I have not yet had any sort of fever, though. I have been taking my temperature several times a day since one week after my oral sexual encounter. My temperature varies throughout the day (which is normal), and my average temperature is 97.4 (also considered within the normal range). I have only reached 99.0 one time. Not even close to a fever (101 degrees). However, the way my mind works is so stupid: I start thinking... OK, if my average body temperature is normally relatively low, then does a temperature of 99 constitute a fever for me? LOL. Also stupid and obsessive (don't laugh!) is that I created an electronic spreadsheet in Microsoft Excel to track my body temperature every half hour throughout the day. I set it up to automatically calculate the average hourly, daily, and overall temperature! I carry an electronic thermometer around with me. OK, you can laugh. It is pretty silly. I think I do it so that I can have some sort of control over something until I can be tested. Not knowing for certain whether or not I'm infected, and having to wait so long to get tested makes me feel so helpless and out of control.

Again, I understand all of these "symptoms" mean NOTHING when it comes to whether or not I got HIV during my encounter. Many of the "symptoms" I've had can sometimes also be attributed to stress and panic.

Next Wednesday (6 weeks after my sexual encounter), I'm going to do a Home Access HIV test. If those results come back negative, I'll test again at 13 weeks to confirm. I've heard that the Home Access tests are "Generation 1," which means that they are probably not any good for a 6-week test, but I'm going to do it anyway. The waiting is driving me insane.
« Last Edit: July 19, 2006, 10:38:41 pm by rick_nh »

Offline Ann

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Re: Oral on a Leaky (precum) Penis
« Reply #27 on: July 20, 2006, 07:28:01 am »
Stephanie,

Your information is incorrect. You are in no position to be giving advice on this forum and I would like you to stop.

Thank you for your cooperation.

Ann
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"...health will finally be seen not as a blessing to be wished for, but as a human right to be fought for." Kofi Annan

Nymphomaniac: a woman as obsessed with sex as an average man. Mignon McLaughlin

HIV is certainly character-building. It's made me see all of the shallow things we cling to, like ego and vanity. Of course, I'd rather have a few more T-cells and a little less character. Randy Shilts

Offline Ann

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Re: Oral on a Leaky (precum) Penis
« Reply #28 on: July 20, 2006, 07:30:43 am »
rick,

You might find it helpful to get some face-to-face support for all the anxiety you are putting yourself through. It is highly unlikely that you will have become infected with hiv through your oral encounter, and all the obsessing in the world isn't going to change that fact.

I would suggest you stop taking your temperature all the time and go out and do something that keeps your mind occupied with something other than hiv. You're making yourself ill with unnecessary worry.

Ann
Condoms are a girl's best friend

Condom and Lube Info  

"...health will finally be seen not as a blessing to be wished for, but as a human right to be fought for." Kofi Annan

Nymphomaniac: a woman as obsessed with sex as an average man. Mignon McLaughlin

HIV is certainly character-building. It's made me see all of the shallow things we cling to, like ego and vanity. Of course, I'd rather have a few more T-cells and a little less character. Randy Shilts

Offline rick_nh

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Re: Oral on a Leaky (precum) Penis
« Reply #29 on: July 26, 2006, 04:52:15 pm »
Six-Week Update.

I did the 24-hour Home Access test yesterday. The results were negative.

The Home Access HIV counsellor said that I took the test "way too early" and that my results were "basically useless." I told her I knew that it was early, but I was nervous and couldn't wait. She said that I could still be seroconverting at this point (and at any time up to the 3-month point). I asked her what generation test they are currently using and she said "Generation 2."

So... I want to feel cautiously hopeful about my negative result, but the conversation wasn't exactly reassuring. I know that I have to re-test at 13 weeks.

Questions:
1. Any reactions to the cousellor's information? (I know it is a bit different from the usual information given here.)
2. How much of a difference does "Generation 2" vs. "Generation 4" (the current generation of tests) make?
3. Can I allow myself to be at least "cautiously hopeful?"

Thank you!

- Rick

PS: I took the test 1 day and a few hours early so that I could time getting the results with my weekly therapy session. I didn't want to be alone if the results were positive. Therapy is going well. It's helping me to deal with the stress and anxiety. I highly recommend therapy to anyone who is suffering anxiety and fear.
« Last Edit: July 27, 2006, 05:55:45 am by rick_nh »

Offline Ann

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Re: Oral on a Leaky (precum) Penis
« Reply #30 on: July 27, 2006, 06:20:29 am »
Rick,

The generation of test that you took has no bearing on when a person will seroconvert. The vast majority of people who have actually been infected will seroconvert and test positive by six weeks, so regardless of generation, your six week negative is an excellent indication that you will continue to test negative.

The counselor probably meant you took the test "way too early" for a conclusive result, but you already knew that.

You can be more than "cautiously hopeful", you can be relieved. Your test result is not likely to change as you only had a very low risk to begin with.

I'm glad to hear you are getting some benefit from your therapy sessions. Stick with them.

Ann
Condoms are a girl's best friend

Condom and Lube Info  

"...health will finally be seen not as a blessing to be wished for, but as a human right to be fought for." Kofi Annan

Nymphomaniac: a woman as obsessed with sex as an average man. Mignon McLaughlin

HIV is certainly character-building. It's made me see all of the shallow things we cling to, like ego and vanity. Of course, I'd rather have a few more T-cells and a little less character. Randy Shilts

Offline DinChi

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Re: Oral on a Leaky (precum) Penis
« Reply #31 on: July 27, 2006, 04:43:21 pm »
Did you resolve the growths-in-your-throat thing?  It is possible to get genital warts in the throat (HPV).  Sometimes these infections can also stay latent for a very long time until some stressful event brings them out.

On the subject of the test, I think the six-week thing is something like 90 percent accurate; a three month test is 95 percent accurate from what I recall the counselor telling me the last time I was tested.

I had a homeopathic practitioner for a while who was also an MD who had been board certified in infectious disease, so he was very experienced with HIV.  He helped me through several HIV-anxiety episodes.  Unfortunately he moved out of the country because of his wife getting a big promotion at work that required a move abroad.
« Last Edit: July 27, 2006, 04:48:14 pm by DinChi »

Offline rick_nh

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Re: Oral on a Leaky (precum) Penis
« Reply #32 on: July 28, 2006, 02:57:53 am »
Ann: Thank you for your response. I appreciate it.

DinChi: Thanks for the info. I visited the STD clinic to have them check me out, but they could find nothing wrong with my throat. Their standard tests came out negative, too. I believe that the tightness and odd sensations I was feeling were stress-induced, because they have lessened significantly since my 6-week negative test result (less stress = fewer "symptoms") and continue to fade. Of course, that doesn't necessarily mean that it was not HPV, but who knows.

I know I still need to test at 3 months for a conclusive result.

 


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