Bizarre conflicting thoughts about my future life

[wolfthorn]

Right now, in the course of the day, I manage to check out websites for arctic adventures, plan for retirement, and shop for coffins ( I refuse to spend my last hours prior to cremation in a box that doesn't fit my height)  and oncologists.

I feel better because my viral load is probably down, but this whole thing is so anxiety generating...  I haven't had a good natural night of sleep in a month.

I guess I am at an in between time. Not in shok but not adjusted either.

[Peterdenmark]

Hi

Just wanted to tell I truly understand You, because I share many of your thoughts.
Not ready to die, not ready to live - not yet

Waiting for numbers to improve - and hoping for the best.
But, having said that, we always need to show strength.

And, this forum helps me not feeling all alone

Looking for places too, I will visit when my doc allow me to travel again. Not the arctic though, I prefer Thailand

Wish u all the best

Warm thoughts from Denmark

Peter