Support groups, yes or no for long termers?

[jm1953]

I used to go to support groups all the time when I was a newbie.  Now this forum has been my support group as an LTS.  Wondering if any of you are going to support groups, and if so, if they are working for you?

In my city which is rather large, there is a drop in group twice a week.  And some specific for newbies, or drug induced HIV.  I really wish I could find one for LTS.  Not to downplay the importance of these groups for all people with HIV, but as we know LTS men and women have a lot of history behind us concerning this disease and want to move forward not backwards.

I'm considering going to an open one in the next couple of weeks.  Don't know if it is really worth it, except the opportunity to meet other HIV Poz men outside of bar functions.

Just thought if anyone had any feedback?

Thanks,

JM

[Miss Philicia]

Hi Jeff, yes I go to one and it's just for LTS.  It began six years ago or so as specifically to support people on Fuzeon, which almost by definition was LTS folks.  Once Isentress came out two years ago and all of us switched to that we officially rebranded ourselves as a LTS group, though really before that half of the attendees weren't even on Fuzeon.  Anyway, that's how it came about.

We only meet once monthly, and it's a small group of 8-10 people usually.  I've formed good friendships with several of the guys and do things from time to time outside of the group format.

[Jeffreyj]

I just went to a LTS support group last week.. There were 30 men, no women. I was the only one who had any physical problems. I thought to myself, what the hell???

Then all hell broke loose. Everyone else had mental problems. Bi polar, and morbid depression for the most part. Oh, and being misdiagnosed. That was a popular item.
After an hour of listening to this, I was emotionally drained lol.

I don't think I'll be going back this week. I still haven't recovered. I need a shrink I think!!!

UGH UGH UGH

[MarcoPoz]

I've seen good and bad support groups.

The 'bad' in my mind are the groups where the main form of communication is either whining or hitting on each other--or both.  I've found it very unhelpful to sit around with a group of people who only want to spread negativity, bitch about others, take no responsibility for a proactive role in their own lives--all while constantly making extremely rude sexual advances and innuendo.  I've gotten to the point that I usually pick up this vibe in the first 10 minutes or so--and head for the door.

To me, 'good groups' are friends who support each other.  Those that would meet and hang out regardless of whether it was an 'organized' group or not.  Can be at a community space or not.  People that have groups at their houses, like I have done.  We cook for each other, go to ball games, clubs, museums etc.  But we're not up each others hoo-hah all the time either.

Of the 'organized' support groups I've been a part of, I've out lived 3 of them.  What I see as helpful for us LTS'ers is a group of HIV positive people who CHOOSE to be with each other and genuinely care about each other.

[jm1953]

Thanks for all the feedback.  Ironically just sitting in the waiting room of my HIV docs waiting room on Tuesday was a great support group.  He was running two hours late because of three emergencies so those of us, about six, waiting had a great discussion.

I'm going to try to get more information about this support group before I go. 

Thanks again.

[weasel]

    I go to a GREAT   support group  in  Cape  Giradaeu ,Missouri !

    It is  about  25  guys and gals    ,  we do a lot of Potlucks !

   These people are  fun loving great caring people !

   There are  some groups in S.E. Missouri that are sort of meat racks 

**********************

   As  a lot of you know   I have been  with the  " Unofficial   AMG   Las Vegas  group !

   I have had a ball  , What a nice group of  people !

   I feel loved !    I'll see Thom one more time 

*************************************************
  Tonight  I went to the Local  Las Vegas   Support group !

    WHAT A DOG AND PONY SHOW !

    Self centered  ,self loving  clods 

    After the  Moderator (  Must be his first   GIG  )   told us   " One more person  speaks

   out of order or with a neighbor  WE WILL HAVE AN ADJUSTMENT  "

   I asked where the Loo  was and  slithered out of the place !

   LIKE THEY SAY YOU CAN NEVER GO HOME !

  Las Vegas is FUN  ,But it will never be home . OR  have a support group that is NOT

   Pimping  other groups 

                                            Carl ,   I enjoyed my PIZZA tonight more then the " show "   LOL

 

[Joe K]

Hey Jeff,

I have been involved with support groups since the mid-80s and what matters the most, is how the group is structured and facilitated. In Florida, we had many poz groups and each group was distinctive. There was a group for pozzies to bitch and moan and whine about how life was so unfair, yada, yada, yada. There were groups for teens, prevention and then there was our group.

It is called "Positive Attitudes" and the intent was to form a group, to discuss and help each other LIVE with HIV. The only cardinal rule we had was "no bitching". There were other groups where you could be a martyr, but not ours. We talked about everything and went to dinner together after our weekly group. We did pool parties, bowling, happy hours, potlucks, whatever and it is a great group of people. All it took was facilitators who developed topics and ideas, for the group to discuss, or we would ask for suggestions for members. If someone had a topic that was very important to them, they would be invited to be the facilitator for that topic. We simply believed that concentrating on adapting and living with HIV to be some of the best medicine.

[jm1953]

Joe,

Your group sounds like the first one I joined in 1987 when I first turned positive and lost my two best friends all around the same time.  Needless to say I was a wreck.  Fortunately I found a group very much like the one you are in which was a great group of guys, and great facilitators.  Like you, we did potlucks, or meetings in the park.  I was referred to this particular group by a woman who ran her own group who just recently had lost her son to AIDS.

It just seems there is not much to choose from here in a city this size.  I'm still looking, but for now this forum has been a tremendous support system.

Thanks for sharing,

JM

[red_Dragon888]

I was in a group some years ago and eventhough it started off nicely, it ended up chaotic.  It really depends on the members and who is running it.  At the end of this month, I plan to go to a newly formed group for poz people and see if I can make a longer commitment.