Author Topic: All about Me! (Read 4848 times)

CaliGuy22 · « **on:** November 05, 2008, 11:52:35 am »

I have been filling out paper work up the A$$ lately. lol I have applied for Medi-Cal which I know I will not get due to my age and not being disabled. I was approved for a Crappy program here in rural California called CMSP which is like county health insurance. It sounds good on paper the only problem is I only have 1,000 dollars left coming in on unemployment and I have to pay $1,100 a MONTH out of pocket BEFORE CMSP will cover anything at all. Who really can afford that? Not this young buck.

I have made my local ASO my new hangout and am now getting signed up for ADAP, I also finally had my blood drawn for new labs which I should get back this or next week. Thankfully I get Gift Cards for gas and groceries every month.
I also was diagnosed again with Severe Depression something i have been dealing with since I was 10 as well as a new one for me Generalized Anxiety Disorder. I believe that, whenever a friend or anyone wants to go do anything social and what would normally be fun (Dancing at a club, go see a movie, or a guy asks to buy me lunch) I clam up, freak out and always stay at home. I never used to be like this I was the nightclub social guy for a long time. I am looking forward to talking to my new Counselor and trying to work out all this stuff so I can back to normal the way I was before February.
I now am just waiting to see a Dr. at the ASO to start my depression/anxiety meds and talk about starting HIV drugs (a choice I have made to start now instead of wait like some do) and to get my labs back. I was diagnosed 2/21/2008.
Oh, on a personal note I started talking and hanging out with this new boy I liked a lot. Unfortunately, when I told him i was Poz he freaked and ran. I have been really sad from it but trying to tell myself there will be someone better someday, at least I got hot sex from it. I am just now having to start getting used to disclosure and telling guys about my status as I got HIV from my ex of two years.
If anyone is bored and wants to chat send me a note or I am around on aim and yahoo too, I have been pretty bored lately and a lot of my friends here still do not know so It would always be good to have some chat friends, pen-pals if you will.

If you read this thanks I just needed to type all this out for once, my family knows of my status and my dad takes me to all my appointments at the ASO but they never want to hear details or anything, so I came on here to tell someone. Thanks again all! Much love.

~J

BT65 · « **Reply #1 on:** November 05, 2008, 04:35:23 pm »

Cali,

You just hang in there and talk whenever you need to. You're just new to this, and accepting any change takes time for anyone. But it (acceptance) will come and you'll be able to relax. Trust me.
Luv,
Betty

CaliGuy22 · « **Reply #2 on:** November 05, 2008, 04:37:47 pm »

Hey Betty thanks a lot! It is always good to hear from you

aztecan · « **Reply #3 on:** November 05, 2008, 09:44:06 pm »

Hey Caliguy,

Letting it all hang out is one of the things we do best here!

So, keep up the good work venting and letting us know how things are goingl.

HUGS,

Mark

Robert · « **Reply #4 on:** November 06, 2008, 01:11:27 am »

hey cali.

like mark and betty say, this can be a wholesome place to hang out. I know it's helped me.

I've read your stuff. I like your dogs. It sounds like you have a decent ASO. THey can be a crap shoot. IF you've found one that knows its stuff, that's half the battle. But FYI, it wouldn't hurt to check with us if you have doubts or questions. Most of us at one time or another have been burned by well-intentioned but little-knowing ASO's.

keep in touch. If you're looking for more responses....post another picture of the dog. That always works.

robt

pozmnguy · « **Reply #5 on:** November 06, 2008, 06:07:14 pm »

I completely disagree. I would MUCH rather look at your pic then any Dog! Woof!

Anywho, As you have heard many times before hang in there we have all been there!

Stay strong!

Jim

Feel free to P.M. if you need!

mecch · « **Reply #6 on:** November 06, 2008, 11:46:32 pm »

Wow there's a lot in your post to react to, but I'll just mention one point:
About the anxiety and depression -- the meds will help you feel less blue. Also was just wondering - if you got those mental health diagnosis - but not the meds yet for it - well who gave you that diagnosis?? Why didn't ant-depressants come with such a mental health diagnosis??? Anyway - the meds will help. As will time and support and love.

wishing you all the best

michaelman333 · « **Reply #7 on:** November 08, 2008, 10:08:10 am »

Thank you so much for sharing

I think you described a lot of my experiences over the past three years especially the going out thing ... I feel my social anxiety has really manifested since my diagnosis ...

So glad to see you keeping your spirits up though

that rocks

welcome

CaliGuy22 · « **Reply #8 on:** November 08, 2008, 10:37:27 am »

Hey everyone thanks for the kind words and notes!! It looks like this coming Thursday is the Lab day. I came down with a bad cold a few days ago now and my throat is killing me, sadly I get throat infections like some people change underwear so I am debating dragging my happy ass to the urgent care

other then that I am doing good I just wish I wasn't sick anymore.

Quote from: pozmnguy on November 06, 2008, 06:07:14 pm

I completely disagree. I would MUCH rather look at your pic then any Dog! Woof!

LOL Thanks Jim

~J

BT65 · « **Reply #9 on:** November 08, 2008, 10:10:00 pm »

Hey Cali,

Keep in mind that if you're ill when you get your labs, your numbers will probably be a bit messed up. You might want to consider waiting on the labs until you're well.

RevMC · « **Reply #10 on:** November 09, 2008, 01:52:43 pm »

Trust me this is a great place to hang and vent. I do it quite frequently.

There are a lot of others like myself on here 20+ years of being HIV/AIDS so we've been through what you are going through when it was nearly impossible for help back then.

Write and vent all you want, we are all here for you!

CaliGuy22 · « **Reply #11 on:** November 26, 2008, 05:02:43 pm »

I finally got my new labs back.

In Feb at time of diagnosis I was CD4 563 and VL of 10,000

Now I am at CD4 539 and VL 21,000. Please let me know what you think. I am meeting with the dr. next Thursday to hopefully start treatment as I want too.

Thanks all!

~J

BT65 · « **Reply #12 on:** November 26, 2008, 09:38:54 pm »

Quote from: CaliGuy22 on November 26, 2008, 05:02:43 pm

Now I am at CD4 539 and VL 21,000. Please let me know what you think. I am meeting with the dr. next Thursday to hopefully start treatment as I want too.

Thanks all!

~J

I'm unsure about what you want to know-wether to start meds or not? I think that's a very personal decision between oneself and the doc.

red_Dragon888 · « **Reply #13 on:** November 26, 2008, 10:30:46 pm »

The road maybe travelled fastest when alone but it is best travelled with friends. I wish you all the best and hope that you are well.

Longislander · « **Reply #14 on:** November 26, 2008, 11:52:38 pm »

Hi Caliguy-

You asked what we think. I think your #'s seem to be stable for now. I don't know how many labs you've had since Feb. What is your %?

If my #'s were consistently above 500 and my VL was as low as yours, I'd take a wait and see approach before starting the meds.

That said, if you're able to take Atripla, I've had no trouble with it ( as most) , and wish you the best, whatever your decision.

Paul

CaliGuy22 · « **Reply #15 on:** November 28, 2008, 03:05:52 pm »

I had 32% this past lab. These are the only two labs I have had since finding out I was poz. I am not questioning meds or not I have decided to start for sure. Good numbers or not I am personally not a fan of waiting. I guess I was just wondering how the numbers looked to LTS and people that had been dealing with this longer then myself.

~J

Miss Philicia · « **Reply #16 on:** November 28, 2008, 03:15:45 pm »

You're numbers are not bad. If it was my decision I'd hold off. You're 23 and will be popping pills for the next ~60 years

"not a fan of waiting" -- not sure what you mean. You mean that you're just impatient by nature about subjects other than HIV treatment? Can't really help you with that character trait.

Jeffreyj · « **Reply #17 on:** November 29, 2008, 03:41:49 am »

Follow your heart. Discuss all the angles with your DR first though!

Best of luck man. Sorry to hear about the depression, maybe he can address that too!

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Author Topic: All about Me! (Read 4848 times)